What He Really Means When He Says He’s “Too Busy” (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

Summary

In a recent segment on The Today Show, dating coach Matthew Hussey addressed the common concern of feeling undervalued in relationships when a partner claims to be busy yet is active on social media. He emphasized that if someone truly cares, they will prioritize time with you. Hussey encouraged individuals to focus on creating their own fulfilling lives, as this independence can enhance attraction. He warned against always being available, suggesting that anticipation can increase value. Ultimately, he advised viewers to recognize their worth and engage in their own activities to cultivate a richer, more balanced relationship.

Takeaways

• 😀 Priorities matter: If someone claims to be busy but is active on social media or at events, their priorities might not include you.
• 💔 Question your position: Instead of wondering why he doesn't have time, assess where you rank in his priorities.
• 💡 If you're important, he'll make time: A person who truly values you will find a way to prioritize you in their life.
• 🏃‍♀️ Independence is attractive: Having your own life and activities makes you more appealing to others.
• 📅 Avoid always being available: If you're always free, it can diminish your value in the eyes of your partner.
• ⏰ Set boundaries: If you occasionally have plans, it may increase their interest in seeing you, as they will value your time more.
• 🛑 Don’t deny yourself opportunities: Saying no to dates to appear less desperate might leave you lonely at home.
• 🌟 Create your own life: It's easier and more rewarding to build a fulfilling life than to pretend you have one.
• 🤝 Mutual value: When you engage in your own interests, it adds value to the relationship and makes you more interesting.
• 🚫 Stop seeking validation: If someone tells you they are busy, believe them and focus on enriching your own life.

Q & A

What was the main question addressed in Matthew Hussey's segment on The Today Show?

The main question was about dating someone who claims to be too busy with work but is often seen on social media and at events.

What does Hussey suggest about someone's priorities when they say they have no time?

Hussey suggests that if someone claims to be too busy but is active on social media or attending events, it indicates that they are choosing to prioritize those activities over spending time with you.

How does Hussey define the relationship between availability and attraction?

He explains that being too available can diminish attraction because it allows the other person to take you for granted, leading them to feel they can always reach out without planning.

What advice does Hussey give to someone feeling neglected in a relationship?

He advises creating your own independent life and interests, suggesting that showing you have a fulfilling life can increase your attractiveness and make your partner value your time more.

What is the significance of anticipation in relationships, according to Hussey?

Anticipation adds value to your presence; when your partner has to wait to see you, they may appreciate your company more, increasing their interest in you.

What does Hussey think about the dating advice of not accepting last-minute dates?

He critiques this advice by stating that if you don't have a life, denying a date could lead to boredom, suggesting it's better to genuinely create a life rather than fake busyness.

How should someone react when their partner claims they are too busy?

Hussey recommends believing your partner's statement and focusing on developing your own life rather than trying to demand more time from them.

What does Hussey mean by 'it's easier to create a life than fake a life'?

He means that it's more beneficial to genuinely engage in activities and interests rather than pretending to be busy; authenticity leads to healthier relationships.

What can be a result of always being available to a partner?

Being always available can lead to a lack of appreciation for your time, as it sets a precedent that they can reach out to you at any time without consequences.

What overall message does Hussey convey regarding relationships and self-worth?

Hussey emphasizes the importance of self-worth and independence in relationships, advocating for individuals to pursue their own happiness and interests to foster healthy dynamics.