When wrong things are your Priorities | Nouman Ali Khan
Summary
TLDRThe transcript explores the concept of prioritization in one's life, particularly in the context of spirituality. It delves into how certain desires, like beauty for women and looking at beauty for men, are naturally embedded within us by Allah. These desires, however, can conflict with spiritual goals, leading people to prioritize worldly things over their relationship with Allah. The speaker emphasizes the importance of controlling these impulses to maintain a pure heart and how the Quran provides guidance to manage emotions like anger, jealousy, greed, and lust. The message highlights self-awareness, balance, and the need for sincere self-judgment in faith.
Takeaways
- 🔑 Allah instilled different desires in men and women; men desire to look at beauty, while women desire to be beautiful.
- ⏳ Prioritizing the right things in life is essential, and daily decisions reflect what individuals value the most.
- ❌ When wrongful desires like greed, jealousy, or materialism become priorities, they lead people away from closeness to Allah.
- 📊 People often fail to accomplish everything they intended, as lower-priority tasks get delayed due to higher-priority ones.
- 💡 Negative emotions like anger, jealousy, and worthlessness should be kept under control, as they are natural but need to remain within healthy limits.
- 🛡️ The Quran helps control explosive emotions like anger and jealousy, protecting individuals from being overwhelmed by them.
- 🌟 Both men and women have specific challenges: men must lower their gaze, while women struggle with the desire to look beautiful.
- 🎯 People's priorities sometimes shift to pleasing others or seeking validation, often at the expense of practicing their faith.
- 📉 Cognitive dissonance occurs when believers prioritize worldly desires over the word of Allah, leading them to focus on Allah's mercy while avoiding accountability.
- 🛠️ Believers need to balance Allah’s attributes of mercy and judgment, recognizing that their relationship with Allah involves multiple aspects, not just one.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video script?
-The main theme of the video script is the concept of priorities in life and how wrong priorities, such as materialism, lust, greed, and jealousy, can take people away from their closeness to Allah. The speaker emphasizes the importance of prioritizing Allah's commands and avoiding behaviors that distance believers from Him.
What does the speaker say about human desires in relation to men and women?
-The speaker explains that Allah placed different desires in men and women. Men have a natural desire to look at beauty, while women have a stronger desire to look beautiful. These desires need to be controlled to maintain spiritual purity and a connection with Allah.
Why does the speaker emphasize the concept of 'priority'?
-The speaker emphasizes 'priority' to highlight how everyday decisions reflect what people value most. Wrong priorities, such as worldly desires and materialistic pursuits, can lead individuals away from Allah's guidance. People should constantly check their priorities to ensure that spiritual and moral values come first.
How does the Quran help believers manage their negative emotions and desires?
-According to the speaker, the Quran helps believers by setting limits on negative emotions like anger, jealousy, and greed. While these emotions are natural, the Quran guides believers to keep them under control and within healthy boundaries, helping them maintain spiritual balance.
What is the significance of men lowering their gaze and women controlling their desire to look beautiful?
-The speaker explains that men are instructed to lower their gaze to control their desire to look at beauty, which helps them protect their hearts from spiritual corruption. Similarly, women are encouraged to control their desire to appear beautiful, as it can become an unhealthy focus. Both practices are meant to safeguard one's spiritual state.
What does the speaker say about the relationship between materialism and spiritual well-being?
-The speaker argues that materialism, whether it be an obsession with wealth, possessions, or social status, can become an unhealthy priority that distances people from Allah. He points out that the Quran cleanses these tendencies and keeps material desires within limits to protect one's spiritual well-being.
What is 'heedlessness,' and why is it dangerous according to the speaker?
-Heedlessness is described as an 'I don't care' attitude, where individuals are indifferent to the consequences of their actions. The speaker warns that heedlessness leads to a lack of fear or concern for accountability before Allah, which can cause people to neglect their spiritual duties and moral responsibilities.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'cognitive dissonance' to faith?
-The speaker explains that cognitive dissonance occurs when believers prioritize wrong things, like material desires, over Allah's commands, while still identifying as faithful. They may emphasize Allah’s mercy and forgiveness to avoid confronting their own shortcomings and responsibilities toward Allah.
What does the speaker say about jealousy and comparison?
-Jealousy and comparison are natural human emotions, but the speaker stresses that they should be kept in check. Jealousy can be destructive if left uncontrolled, but it can also inspire self-improvement if directed positively. The Quran helps regulate these feelings to ensure they do not become harmful.
What advice does the speaker give regarding feelings of worthlessness and loneliness?
-The speaker advises that feelings of worthlessness and loneliness should be countered by recognizing one’s inherent value as a human being, honored by Allah. Believers should remember that they are never truly alone, as Allah is always with them, and they should rely on this understanding to overcome feelings of isolation.
Outlines
✨ Prioritizing in Life and Religion
This paragraph discusses the human tendency to prioritize tasks in daily life and the spiritual consequences when wrong priorities take over. The speaker uses relatable examples like making grocery lists and managing time before class to illustrate the concept of prioritization. In spiritual terms, people may prioritize worldly desires—such as lust, greed, and jealousy—over their relationship with Allah, ultimately distancing themselves from His friendship. The importance of purifying the heart from negative emotions like anger and jealousy is emphasized, showing how misplaced priorities can lead to a loss of spiritual connection.
💔 Self-Worth, Loneliness, and Greed
The speaker reflects on feelings of worthlessness and how they lead to poor treatment of others. Often, people who feel worthless project their insecurities outward. The Quran is highlighted as a source of self-worth, emphasizing that Allah honors all humans. The speaker also discusses loneliness, using Prophet Ibrahim as an example of someone who faced isolation but maintained a connection with Allah. Greed is addressed next, noting that while everyone has desires, it’s important to control these impulses to maintain spiritual balance. The Quran's role in keeping these emotions in check is also mentioned.
🌟 Beauty, Attraction, and Gender Dynamics
This section explores the inherent desires in men and women related to beauty. Men are drawn to beauty, while women have a natural inclination to present themselves as beautiful. The speaker notes that these tendencies are deeply ingrained and observable in societal trends, such as the success of the beauty and fashion industries. The Quran teaches that men must lower their gaze, while women are encouraged to control their desire to showcase their beauty. Both actions serve to protect the purity of the heart, and this struggle is compared to the daily efforts men and women must make to uphold their spiritual integrity.
🤔 Internal Struggles and Justifications
This paragraph examines how people may justify their actions when they prioritize worldly desires over religious obligations. The speaker gives the example of delaying prayer to avoid ridicule, showing how social pressure can affect religious practice. Women, for example, may struggle with the desire to look beautiful but justify it by emphasizing other good deeds they perform. The speaker warns against this cognitive dissonance—believing in Allah while knowingly violating His commands—and stresses the importance of self-reflection and judgment. The emphasis is on understanding that prioritizing personal desires over spiritual duties leads to a weakened connection with Allah.
🌍 Diverse Perceptions of God in Different Religions
In this final paragraph, the speaker discusses how different religions perceive God. For Christians, God is seen as love, while for the Israelites, God is a savior exclusively for Israel. In Islam, however, Allah embodies multiple attributes—He is loving, merciful, just, and holds people accountable for their actions. The speaker emphasizes that Muslims cannot pick and choose aspects of Allah’s nature to suit their own desires. By understanding the comprehensive nature of Allah’s relationship with humanity, believers are reminded to uphold a balanced and multifaceted view of their faith.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Prioritization
💡Jealousy
💡Materialism
💡Heedlessness
💡Hedonism
💡Anger
💡Beauty
💡Worthlessness
💡Loneliness
💡Spirit of Hijab
Highlights
Allah put inside males the desire to look at beauty, and inside females, the desire to look beautiful.
The concept of priority in life is essential; prioritizing what is important affects behavior and spiritual relationships.
Wrong priorities, such as greed, jealousy, and materialism, take people away from Allah's friendship.
The Quran purifies and controls natural emotions like anger, jealousy, and greed, keeping them within healthy limits.
Worthlessness often leads to projecting negativity onto others, as those who feel worthless treat others the same way.
Islam helps individuals cope with feelings like loneliness by reminding them of their relationship with Allah, citing examples like Ibrahim (A.S.).
Materialism and other worldly desires can lead people to place religion as secondary, making personal goals more important.
Men are instructed to guard their eyes, while women are encouraged to control the desire to look beautiful, reflecting different challenges in maintaining spiritual purity.
The Quran emphasizes protecting the heart from distractions like lust and materialism to maintain spiritual light.
Controlling the desire to look beautiful for women is as challenging as it is for men to lower their gaze from beauty.
People often justify their shortcomings by focusing on Allah's mercy, neglecting the fact that they will also be held accountable.
The Christian concept of 'God is love' contrasts with Islam's more multifaceted relationship with Allah, who embodies mercy, love, and judgment.
Cognitive dissonance occurs when people prioritize worldly desires over Allah's commandments but still believe in their righteousness.
Social pressures can cause people to prioritize others' opinions over religious obligations, like delaying prayer to avoid ridicule.
Hedonism, materialism, and heedlessness are identified as harmful priorities that need to be controlled to maintain spiritual integrity.
Transcripts
Allah put inside the mail the desire to
look at Beauty he put inside the mail
the desire to look at Beauty he put
inside the female the desire to look
beautiful he put it in her from her from
the early ages Allah put that in her
F the Quran repeatedly talks about this
concept of uh a good way for you guys to
think about that in Easy English is
prioritizing
to make something a priority every day
in our lives we have to make a decision
about what is the top priority like if
you have one hour before class starts
what is your priority what are you going
to do first second third and the morning
you wake up you have a list of
priorities you got to get done everybody
has a checklist and in that checklist
what is the most important then second
important and third important it's
either in our head or it's on your
calendar or you've made notes when when
your your wife or husband or whoever
they send you to the grocery store then
you have a checklist priority items to
get you know like if you have a baby you
can forget everything don't come home
without the diapers right that was Prior
that was the most important thing how
did you forget that Etc so there's
always this concept of priority meaning
something that takes more importance and
every one of us knows at the end of the
day we were not able to do all the
things we were supposed to do there's
always things that are left that we were
supposed to do right but those things
became they got delayed because other
things became they became for
forward also means some things became
priority for these people some behaviors
some goals became a bigger priority and
those goals took them away from the
Friendship of Allah actually the
previous Ayah basically says if you
truly were friends of Allah then you
would wish at least for a good death in
one one way you can take the meaning so
now they won't wish it because they're
not really friends with Allah so then
the question is what did they do that
took them away from Allah's friendship
Allah's closeness Allah's protectiveness
and that is some some wrong things
became priority for them so this
discussion is brief but important and
that is what does it mean that the wrong
things become priority there's two
things I want you to note here one is
things that are prohibited or forbidden
or evil meaning your my my my my desire
My lust my greed you know my jealousy
these kinds of things when they become
the top thought in your mind you know
how the Ayah said is going to Allah
purifies them with the ayat so here are
some things I want you to make note of
anger jealousy
comparison worthless I know there's a
lot I'm talking fast it's okay you can
repeat what was it anger jealousy
comparison
worthlessness
loneliness
greed
lust heedless lessness heedlessness
basically means I don't fear anything I
don't worry about anything I just I like
heedlessness is basically I don't care
that's heedlessness okay it's the I
don't care attitude okay uh Hedonism
Hedonism means my ultimate objective is
to please myself to to have a good
experience a good definition of Hedonism
in Easy English would be YOLO you guys
know YOLO that would be Hedonism okay
and
materialism right so it's materialism
takes many forms for some people
materialism is about their house some
people it's their car some people it's
how many followers they have on social
media for some people is what kind of
what brand of bag are they wearing what
brand of shoes are they wearing what you
know so he this materialism takes
different kinds of forms basically
shallow things you know shallow Petty
things that they become obsessions
anyway the Quran comes and it cleanses
us from all of these or at least
controls them because at the end of the
day anger is a part of my life I can't
get rid of it some things are going to
make me angry what tya does is it keeps
it under a under a limit keeps it within
a healthy limit jealousy you might think
oh jealousy is so evil no jealousy is a
part of life it
happens jealousy happens comparison
happens but it has to stay within a
healthy limit and needs to be be
directed in a healthy direction you know
so you can take someone who's doing
better than you and you could be jealous
of them or you could be inspired to do
better yourself so you could take you
could feel that they're doing better and
you can take it in a positive direction
right so that what does that's what doia
does worthlessness oh it doesn't matter
what I do anyway I'm a loser anyway who
cares about me you know like those
people that sayun is nothing well then
eventually they start saying I'm nothing
when you're nothing then your action are
nothing which means that you can be mean
you can be rude you can be whatever but
it doesn't matter because I'm worthless
I'm going to treat everybody else
worthless too A lot of times people that
are really insulting to others deep down
inside they actually have no respect for
themselves they have a deep
worthlessness within themselves and they
project that on others the Quran makes
me feel that I'm worth something I'm
worth enough of a miracle that all the
Angels were commanded to do s I'm worth
enough that Allah says
we honored all children of Adam which
means Allah himself honored me which
means Allah sees me as worth something
so I shouldn't see myself as worthless
loneliness I you know nobody loves me
nobody understands me nobody listens to
me it's like I don't even exist etc etc
well we're the religion of ibraim alam I
don't think there was anybody who was
more lonely than ibraim Alam but Allah
gave him his company didn't
he right so we we don't actually know
what TR true loneliness in the end will
actually never be loneliness for a
Believer they they'll still have someone
and doesn't mean that you don't need
anybody in you I have Allah I don't need
anyone I'm like ibraim Alam I don't need
you no no no even mam needed Haron right
he asked for Haron he didn't say I'm
going to go do this alone but at least
you know how to cope with loneliness at
least you know how to work through
loneliness because of Theus of the Quran
then greed of course we all want more
let's be honest there's there's a car
you don't have that you like there's a
house that you know you drive by you
drive a little
slowly and then go you know there's a
job that you might like there's a you
know we have greed we have we have some
some things that we want that we don't
have but that that's kept under
control says whoever can be protected
from the greed they have inside them
meaning you're it's there but you're
it's not letting you it's not taking
over you right it's being controlled um
the same way Allah says another place
for
example Allah put explosive content
inside us and he also put inside us the
ability to protect us from that
explosive content f means sin but Fu
actually comes from in which means
explosion f is called f because the
light
explodes right so there's my anger is
explosive my jealousy is explosive my
desires are explosive my materialism can
be EXP explosive all this stuff is
explosive man it could take over it
could blow up but Allah gave us
protective mechanisms to keep it under
control and that's what the Revelation
does it it it starts putting a check on
these things so now I mention these
things when when I say that they did
they will not wish for death because of
what their hands prioritize some of
these things greed jealousy you know
status you know your own Pride even I'm
adding other things heedlessness they
become
priority they take over somebody's life
and then when that happens the religion
the dean of Allah becomes secondary the
dean of Allah is only going to be
practiced when it doesn't get in the way
of my own priorities my priorities are
first the religion is second so easy
example would be for example you're in
you're in University you're on campus
it's time for the prayer and you're
hanging out with a bunch of friends
right and you're like you know it's got
to it's time for prayer but most of your
friends are non-muslim so if you're
going to go pray then they're going to
look at you funny or they're going to
say something don't blow up the
library you know
99
okay and you're like I don't want to
hear those comments so you know what I'm
just not going to pray not this time
I'll delay it now the thing is in that
moment what did you
prioritize you prioritized your the
preservation of your
dignity right because you thought you'll
preserve your dignity you won't you
won't have to hear those comments ments
right you won't have to hear that
ridicule or you won't have to hear their
criticisms later on and you saved
yourself from that you put that as a
priority people's opinion of you became
a priority over what Allah
said I some people asked the question it
was in the comments uh I I mentioned
that there's the letter of the law and
the spirit of the law and there's the
letter of the hijab and there's the
spirit of the hijab and I did mention
the spirit of the hijab and people were
like what's the spirit what's the spirit
I've given long lectures on Surah and
the AY of hijab but I will tell you guys
cuz I like stard so I'll tell you
briefly Allah describes in the Quran
that a female the way Allah made I
didn't say this this in the Quran take
it up with Allah okay um Allah
says the baby girl is described as
someone who is decorated in jewelry the
young young female the young she's a
little baby girl but she already has a
desire to be
beautiful the boy never comes puts on a
shirt and says look at my shirt Dad look
at my
shirt but a little girl you put on
anything on her you put on a band on her
wrist a rubber band on her wrist you put
on a necklace made of paper you put you
put on anything what you g to
do say something say
something and then you just tell you
look so pretty
like I know like
Allah put inside the mail something he
put inside the mail the desire to look
at
Beauty he's just I don't have to
convince you of this you already
know you're like someone like oh I don't
I don't know what you're talking about
yes you
do he put inside the male the desire to
look at Beauty he put inside the female
the desire to look
beautiful he put it in her from her from
the early ages Allah put that in her f
nowah where Allah describes the covering
the head
covering Allah describes that men must
guard their
eyes they must guard their eyes why
because the most the thing that men get
the most pleasure out of is looking at
Beauty and the proof of that is in all
of the online and media industries that
attract the eyes of men towards female
Beauty
in the worst ways and those industries
make billions if not trillions of
dollars all because of these that men
have you know that right like the proof
there's there's trillions of dollars of
proof of something Allah has said okay
on the flip side on the flip side Allah
put a desire in women not to even though
they want to look at Beauty but they
have a much stronger desire than looking
what's the stronger desire for them to
look beautiful and there are trillions
of dollars of investment in the makeup
industry the fashion industry the
modeling industry the advertising in
Industries across the planet that are
evidence to that fact that Allah
mentions
inah he mentions these are facts that
human beings are living evidence of it
every day economies in ire gigantic
economies are evidence of this if you
know people that work in social media
and they work in social media
advertising they know about Google
Trends and social media Trend video
Trends you know what I'm talking about
you know exactly what I'm talking about
now having said that the thing that men
desire the most they have to control it
if they have to keep the light in their
heart the thing that women desire the
most they have to control it if they
have to to keep their light in their
heart so men were told
what lower your
eyes women F and when women are told
lower your eyes that's way easier for
women way it's like
whatever every one in one in 10,000 men
they're like
oh otherwise men is not one in 10,000
women women don't have major F when
they're walking in an
airport every one in a thousand men
sometimes some usful flight type you
know situation they're like oh okay but
men different problem different but what
is the what is the hardest thing for a
female as hard it is for a man to lower
his eyes you know what's equally hard
for her not to look
pretty that's the hardest thing for her
it is so hard for her it is if you want
to understand how hard it is for her
it's as hard as it is for you to what
lower your eyes you know how every
second you have to fight that every
minute you're like you know
alhamdulillah I I I finished the lower
eyes problem now I I used to have that
problem last year I no longer have that
problem anymore Auto it's on autopilot
is it ever on autopilot no you have to
guard it every single time guess what
women have to go through the desire to
look beautiful do go
away they see another woman with
beautifully hair done they're like she's
got nothing on my hair my hair is so
much nicer under this hijab
though and every time they see a woman
with beautiful hair with with her looks
and they're like oh my God I can show
this so much better than she can she
didn't don't even know and it's it's
killing them because it's all hidden
it's hidden all the time and it's like I
don't I look so ugly I look so ugly
right now and they get to they're not
even that pretty and people think
they're pretty people don't even know
I'm so much
prettier and there's this deep down
inside struggle and Allah says yeah
you're going to control that
one you're going to control that one to
in order to
what to keep the light in your heart to
keep the light in your heart the the
most the the strongest impulse of man
that will destroy the state of their
heart is that and the strongest impulse
for women that will destroy the state of
their heart is that this was about
protecting their
hearts that's actually what it was it's
the Quran we say oh it's F it's F hold
on how did the Quran talk about it why
is it
in why is it the Surah that protects the
N inside the heart why is it there why
is it talked about like this anyway
that's not my subject but I'm just
saying but imagine if that's if for some
people they can't wish how can they wish
for meeting with Allah when their desire
their their other priorities became more
important and you know what happens
then my desire to look or my desire on
the female side to look
beautiful was too strong I couldn't
control it now I'm going to say you know
what just because I don't do it doesn't
mean I'm not a good believer I'm really
spiritual you know and I'm going to make
lots of Instagram posts about how I fast
on Monday and Thursday and how I do Taj
and I how I do this and how I do that
and you know who are you telling this to
Instagram who who needs to hear
this who who needs to hear Allah subhana
wa tala do I need to broadcast how many
I prayed what what I how much I fasted
what Sak I did what I did what no this
is just you know something deep inside
you know that you're doing something
that's not okay and you're trying to
tell yourself but at least I'm doing so
much other good don't judge me don't
judge me I said don't judge
me nobody's judging you but actually
deep down inside you can't help but also
judge yourself
but a human being has full view of their
own selves no one has to judge you you
have to judge yourself and you should
judge yourself and this new nonsense
be merciful to yourself give yourself
room to be
human it's okay it's okay that it's okay
is so the quran's expression for that
is you made something convenient for
yourselves yousef's brothers made
something convenient for themselves it's
okay obviously dad doesn't love us it's
okay if we just take one we're not
killing all the brothers we're just
killing one of them and we're going to
be good after that
you know this is actually something that
we have to really really uh learn
about what is it that we are
prioritizing is it that impulse that is
a bigger priority than the word of Allah
for men or for women what is what is
keeping me from praying what's keeping
me from giving up the Haram money that
I'm making what's keeping me what's
keeping me from lying what's keeping me
from giving the money that I
owe I borrowed somebody's money I didn't
give it back what's keeping me from
giving me giving back that money
something else became a priority over
the word of Allah and those are the
kinds of people who will never wish to
meet with Allah they can't how can they
how can
they by the way those kinds of people
when they have that that it's called the
cognitive dissonance meaning they're
Believers but they prioritize the wrong
thing and they know they're violating
the word of Allah you know what they do
then it's the Quran is so accurate you
know what they do they talk a lot about
the mercy of
Allah those people talk a lot about how
Allah forgives how Allah is merciful how
Allah is so loving how Allah is so kind
how Allah Allah knows what you're going
through Allah is for
why because there's another side to your
relationship with Allah that they don't
want to deal with you know what that
side is you're going to stand in front
of Allah you're going to explain
yourself why what you did what you did I
don't want to to deal with that part of
it I want to deal with Allah is my
friend what did what did the
say why do they think they're friends
with Allah because if you're friends
Allah is always going to be okay with me
I'm I'm going to be saved Allah is
merciful Allah is loving Allah is
guaranteeing me
Jenna that's because the wrong
priorities it's the wrong priorities
that say I'm going to look at one
dimension of my relationship with God
not the other not the other
by and understand from this uh the
Christian concept of God is God is love
right for the Israelites the God is the
savior of the Israelites he's the god of
Israel actually he's the god of Israel
for
Muslims Allah is many names at the same
time so he loves us more than we can
love
ourselves he can judge us more than
anybody else can judge us he can hold
responsible accountable more than
anybody else can it's not one
relationship it's multiple relationships
we don't get to pick one of them and say
I'm going to ignore the
others because of our own issues so what
we do is we because we have our own
issues we hold on to some names of Allah
and forget other names of Allah
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