The back story Interview Support in preventing self harm and suicide
Summary
TLDRThe video features two individuals sharing their personal experiences with depression and suicidal thoughts. Lucy, a primary school teacher, talks about feeling isolated during her school years and at home, leading to self-harm and a sense of not belonging. Lance, a chef, recounts his battle with substance abuse, depression, and a close call with suicide. He describes the struggle to open up due to societal norms about masculinity but ultimately finds hope through his children and support during lockdown. Both stories highlight the importance of addressing mental health and breaking the stigma around expressing emotions.
Takeaways
- 👨🏫 Lucy, aged 26, is a primary school teacher who experienced feelings of isolation due to family dynamics and school issues.
- 👨👧👦 Lucy felt like an outsider at home because her younger siblings received more attention, leading to feelings of loneliness.
- 🏫 At school, Lucy's self-harm was misunderstood and ridiculed by some, exacerbating her feelings of isolation.
- 🤔 Lucy's thoughts of suicide were fueled by a lack of understanding and support from her peers and family.
- 👨🍳 Lance, aged 37, is a chef who struggled with drug addiction and depression after leaving his family home.
- 💊 Lance used drugs as a coping mechanism to deal with his emotions and the pressures of his lifestyle.
- 🚫 Lance's father's tough upbringing taught him to suppress emotions, which contributed to his struggle with expressing his feelings.
- 🚶♂️ Lance had a near-death experience on the roof of a building, which served as a wake-up call for him.
- 🚌 Lance had another life-saving moment when he narrowly avoided being hit by a bus, which he attributes to divine intervention.
- 💬 Lance emphasizes the importance of opening up and talking about one's feelings, challenging the stigma around men expressing emotions.
- 👥 Lance believes in surrounding oneself with supportive people who encourage open communication about mental health.
Q & A
What challenges did Lucy face during her school years?
-Lucy struggled with friendship issues and felt like an outsider both at school and home. She felt that her younger siblings received more attention, making her feel neglected.
How did Lucy's feelings of isolation impact her mental health?
-Lucy's isolation made her feel like no one listened to her, leading to self-harm. When others found out, instead of support, she faced ridicule, worsening her situation and leading to suicidal thoughts.
What specific thoughts did Lucy have during her lowest points?
-Lucy questioned her existence, wondering if her absence would make any difference since she felt disconnected from her friends and family.
What external pressures did Lance face that led to his mental health struggles?
-Lance's heavy involvement in drug use and a constant party lifestyle contributed to his declining mental health. He also struggled with the societal expectation of being emotionally tough, as instilled by his father.
How did Lance's upbringing affect his approach to emotions?
-Lance was raised by his father, who believed that men should not show emotions or cry. This belief caused Lance to suppress his feelings, which contributed to his drug abuse and eventual mental breakdown.
What event served as a turning point for Lance during his crisis?
-While sitting on the edge of a building, contemplating suicide, Lance saw his reflection and thought of his oldest son. This moment prevented him from jumping and marked the beginning of his realization that he needed help.
What role did Lance's family play in his recovery process?
-Lance's family, particularly his sons, played a significant role in motivating him to stop his destructive behaviors. The thought of his family made him reconsider his actions and eventually led him to seek recovery.
How did the COVID-19 lockdown affect Lance’s mental health and recovery?
-The lockdown gave Lance the opportunity to return home, quit drugs cold turkey, and reconnect with his family. He credits this time with saving his life and helping him recover.
What did Lance learn about mental health through his experience?
-Lance realized that it’s important for men to talk about their feelings, despite societal pressures to remain stoic. He learned that opening up to someone he trusted was crucial in his recovery.
What advice does Lance offer to others who are struggling with similar issues?
-Lance advises not to be ashamed of discussing feelings and to ensure that people in one's circle are supportive. He emphasizes the importance of talking about mental health and finding strength in vulnerability.
Outlines
😔 Feeling Lonely and Unheard
Lucy, a 26-year-old primary school teacher, shares her experience with feelings of loneliness and isolation. It began in Year 9 when she faced issues with friendships and felt overshadowed by her younger siblings at home. The lack of attention from her family, combined with struggles at school, left her feeling like an outsider. Lucy describes how she turned to self-harm as a way to cope, but instead of understanding, she faced ridicule and was accused of selfishness. This deepened her sense of isolation, leading to suicidal thoughts as she questioned her value to friends and family. She recalls not having anyone to confide in, which only worsened her mental state.
🌪 Overcoming Addiction and Depression
Lance, a 37-year-old chef, reflects on his battle with drug addiction and depression. He explains how his life spiraled due to drug abuse, despite being surrounded by people who he thought were friends. His lifestyle took a toll on his family life, leading him to move out and further sink into depression. Lance shares how he was raised by a tough father who taught him to suppress emotions, which led him to hide his pain behind drugs. At his lowest, he found himself on the edge of a building, contemplating suicide. His sons, particularly his oldest, were his saving grace, and a near-death fall from the roof gave him a wake-up call. Though he continued using drugs for a while, the incident made him rethink his life.
🌅 Finding Strength Through Recovery
Lance continues his story, describing another close encounter with death when he almost stepped in front of a lorry but was saved by an internal voice. He credits the lockdown during the COVID-19 pandemic for giving him the chance to reconnect with his family and quit drugs cold turkey. He reflects on the toxic masculinity that discouraged him from expressing emotions but emphasizes the importance of opening up and talking about mental health. Lance believes that surrounding oneself with the right people is crucial, and being vulnerable does not make someone weak. His experience taught him that sharing one's struggles is key to healing.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Suicidal Thoughts
💡Self-harm
💡Loneliness
💡Depression
💡Family Dynamics
💡Substance Abuse
💡Support Systems
💡Mental Health Stigma
💡Coping Mechanisms
💡Resilience
Highlights
Lucy shares that her feelings of isolation began in year eight or nine due to friendship issues and lack of attention at home.
Lucy discusses the progression of her mental health struggles, explaining that as people became aware of her self-harm, they often viewed her as selfish or mocked her.
She reflects on feeling like an outsider both at school and at home, particularly due to the attention her younger siblings received.
Lucy recounts how the worsening of these feelings led to thoughts of suicide, as she questioned her own worth and whether anyone would notice if she were gone.
Lance, a 37-year-old chef, describes his experience with depression and drug abuse, which he believes stemmed from social pressures and unresolved emotional issues.
Lance reveals that he left his family home, choosing a lifestyle of drug use over being with his partner and children.
He shares a pivotal moment where he sat on the edge of a building while intoxicated, contemplating suicide, but was stopped by the thought of his oldest son.
Lance reflects on how his upbringing, particularly his father's 'men don’t cry' attitude, contributed to him hiding his emotions and turning to drugs as an escape.
After a near-death experience where he fell two stories from a roof, Lance had a wake-up call but continued using drugs for a while before starting his recovery.
Lance had another close call when he almost stepped in front of a truck, but a voice in his head stopped him in time.
Lance credits the COVID-19 lockdown with saving his life, as it forced him to stay at home and go cold turkey, leading to his recovery from drug use.
He reflects on how his generation was raised to believe that men should not talk about their feelings, which contributed to his struggles with depression and substance abuse.
Lance emphasizes the importance of opening up and talking about emotions, noting that real strength comes from being able to express vulnerability.
He shares that he now values having a strong, supportive circle of people around him who he can talk to about his feelings.
Lance encourages others to break free from the stigma surrounding mental health, especially for men, and to seek help and support when needed.
Transcripts
foreign
's Lucy I'm 26 and I'm a primary school
teacher
what is your story and experience with
suicide or Suicidal Thoughts like yeah
eight year nine at school I started to
like suffer with friendship issues and
at home I always found it really
difficult because my brother and sister
were younger than me so they always got
a lot of their attention and I kind of
felt like the outsider at home and then
it started to feel like that at school
as well
um and I didn't really feel like there
were many people I could speak to about
it or anybody that really listened to me
um and then when people seemed to find
out about the self-harm and things more
instead of more understanding it was
more that I was being really selfish or
people especially some people at school
would make fun of it and find it really
funny which then made it worse in turn
because nobody I just didn't feel
listened to really
um and it just seemed to progress from
there because nothing seemed to get
better than the thoughts would then get
worse or then you'd start questioning
yourself and being like well what's the
point of being here or
if I've not got many friends or my
family don't really see me then would
they really notice would it make much of
a difference anyway
I think at home as well that was
probably where it first started where I
first started to feel like lonely or
like an outsider again like I said with
my brother and sister they were much
younger so they got a lot of more
attention and I was just kind of left
two of my mum and dad but then for mum
and dad as well there were issues there
of things that I'd overhear but again
because I was older I was kind of left
to it
um and then because I'd already been
feeling like that at home again when
things started to happen at school and I
don't even know like where it started
from
um I just kind of felt pushed out by
quite a lot of people
um and again I don't really know where
that started from but it just seemed it
didn't really seem to get better
throughout the years then I just didn't
really feel like I fit in or belonged
anywhere and I didn't really feel like I
had many people or anybody to speak to
about it
my name's Lance 37 and I'm a chef
odd couple of years on the drugs
what sent me in my my path
surrounded by loads of mates well you'd
think there's mates but they weren't
partying or not partying all day
literally where I'm staying all day and
night it was constant go go and I think
the pressure of that pushed my lifestyle
to one side where
I've got three sons misses
I moved out the family home I chose the
life start over that
and I think
depression crept upon me more than I
knew what I thought it was creeping up
on there
um and I just edit and pushed it away it
didn't push it I got brought up by my
dad my dad was a tough old boy
men didn't cry
men was men that's what it was there was
no there's no emotions no nothing big
mama misses 12 year she may cry to us
it's probably a
um and that's how I think it was I think
I used drugs to back home to hide
everything
and what I'm saying trolls I'm gonna buy
some coke to extra MDMA
solvent abuse everything
and I got to the point where I was
living at a place where I was working
on top of an Hotel one night and I was
absolutely off my not but I'm saying I
was pills and dma and I sat on edge of
the building looking down thinking to
understanding would it be easier for
everyone else
for me to jump and stop it and everybody
stop at myself they'll get over them I
had so much weird crazy thoughts going
through my head
and it worked for a fact there was some
woman that used to live in the building
facing a shattered mess what I'm doing
and I looked up and I see my reflection
in the window and the pub facing and
unfortunately I can't do it I couldn't
get to my son's my son's what's pushing
me the most one in particular was my
oldest one and I just
supports me saying no I can't do it and
I backed up
and as I backed up I slid off the other
back end of the roof went two stories
down and landed on a flat roof
fractured McCollum elbow
and I think it was at that point where I
had a bit of a wake-up call so I thought
a couple of months went past still doing
a similar stuff but I thought I'd calm
myself down
and I was walking up Borough bypass
in an absolute State
just left the pub
and I come within 12 feet if I've got
Arctic Larry
I stepped out of the way just in time I
had a voice and meant tell me not to do
it and that was it it was just
I feel locked down saved me more than
anything I think if it were locked down
to me going home to my family cold
turkey and going through all I worked
for it to get off the drugs and the
drink
yeah I think the first time I've been so
lucky for me
but it's there and a lot of people don't
realize it and I think it's the fact
like my generation got brought up by
some of the men
saying you can't talk to people about
what's going off in your head you can't
do that but it's not it's not the truth
and I sat down with somebody and had a
good talk
and it was emu Thomas
that'd be embarrassed about talking
about it don't be ashamed of saying
what's wrong don't be scared of crying
and I think that's what it is then what
it looked deep but instead I'm still a
man's man and I'm still a bit of a lad
but no I'd never have a feelings anymore
I believe opening up to the best way
if you can't open up to somebody then
that person's not worth being in your
circle
I think I said I think the circle you
keep around your is a circle you need to
keep strong and that's it is
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