If You STRUGGLE With Expressing How You FEEL - WATCH THIS | Jay Shetty

Summary

The video highlights the importance of expanding emotional vocabulary to better understand and articulate feelings, improving self-awareness and communication. It emphasizes self-care practices like the 'spot, stop, swap' method to reframe negative self-talk, and the value of spending time with people to grow together. It also discusses cultivating inner peace by aligning the mind and body, finding daily activities that bring calm, and constantly learning for self-improvement. Ultimately, the message is about building confidence, finding peace within, and fostering personal growth through mindful practices.

Takeaways

• 😀 Our emotional vocabulary is limited, which prevents us from truly understanding and expressing our emotions.
• 😡 Words like 'angry' or 'sad' are broad and can mask the specific emotions like irritation, regret, or defensiveness.
• 💬 Articulating emotions clearly helps others understand us, which is key to self-care and feeling supported.
• 🗣 The way we talk to ourselves is crucial, and using positive language can shape our mindset and self-confidence.
• 🔄 The 'spot, stop, swap' technique helps in identifying and replacing negative self-talk with more constructive language.
• 👫 Surrounding ourselves with people is important, but true connection comes from growing together through shared experiences.
• 📖 Learning something new every day, even a small thing like a new word, boosts confidence and promotes self-worth.
• 🧠 Peace is something that can be trained internally, and relying on external calm is not a sustainable source of peace.
• 🌱 Aligning your body and mind by practicing synchronized breathing can bring inner peace and balance.
• 🧘 Purpose in life brings structure and meaning, and finding activities that bring peace can help maintain mental well-being.

Q & A

What does the speaker highlight about our emotional vocabulary?

The speaker emphasizes that our emotional vocabulary is very limited, often confined to simple responses like 'good,' 'bad,' or 'okay.' This limitation makes it difficult to fully express or understand our true emotions, leading to a lack of self-awareness and difficulty in communicating our feelings to others.

Why is it important to articulate emotions beyond basic terms like 'angry' or 'sad'?

Articulating emotions beyond basic terms allows us to better understand the complexity of our feelings. For example, anger can involve being offended, irritated, or defensive, while sadness could stem from being upset, regretful, or triggered. When we use more specific language, we can communicate our emotions more effectively, which helps others understand us and improves self-care.

What is one of the speaker's favorite self-care techniques?

One of the speaker's favorite self-care techniques is to dig deeper into emotions and avoid settling for surface-level feelings like 'angry' or 'sad.' By understanding and articulating emotions more clearly, it enhances communication with others, leading to feeling more understood, which is crucial for self-care.

What does the speaker suggest about the way we talk to ourselves?

The speaker suggests that the way we talk to ourselves is very important for self-care. Negative self-talk can reinforce harmful patterns, while more constructive internal dialogue can lead to better mental health and confidence. The speaker introduces the 'spot, stop, swap' technique to help people recognize negative patterns, limit exposure to triggers, and replace them with positive behaviors.

What is the 'spot, stop, swap' technique, and how can it help with negative self-talk?

'Spot, stop, swap' is a method to help people manage negative self-talk. First, 'spot' the negative patterns of thinking, like self-criticism. Then 'stop' engaging with situations that trigger these negative thoughts, such as excessive social media browsing. Finally, 'swap' the negative behavior for a positive activity, like listening to a podcast or reading a book. This technique aims to break the cycle of negative self-talk and promote healthier mental habits.

What does the speaker say about the idea of being the 'average of the five people you spend the most time with'?

The speaker challenges the idea of simply being the 'average of the five people you spend the most time with.' Instead, they suggest focusing on 'growing together' with friends by engaging in shared activities that are new to both people. This creates fresh experiences and helps build connections on equal footing, boosting confidence and strengthening relationships.

Why does the speaker recommend learning something new every day as part of self-care?

The speaker recommends learning something new every day because it fosters a sense of progress and self-worth. Even small achievements, like learning a new word, help boost confidence and encourage a growth mindset. This simple daily habit contributes to overall well-being.

How does the speaker define 'peace,' and what advice is given to those searching for it?

The speaker defines peace as something that can be trained and maintained internally, rather than something dependent on external circumstances. Peace is often disrupted when the mind and body are out of sync. To cultivate peace, the speaker advises finding one daily activity that brings calm, such as having tea or reading, and practicing mindfulness to align the mind and body.

What does the speaker suggest about the connection between the mind and body in finding peace?

The speaker suggests that a lack of peace often arises when the mind and body are not aligned—such as when the mind is racing while the body is tired, or vice versa. To restore peace, the speaker recommends exercises like breathing in sync, which can help align the mind and body and promote calmness.

What is the speaker's perspective on the pursuit of external validation versus self-appreciation?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-appreciation over external validation. True confidence comes from recognizing and appreciating one's own abilities and qualities, rather than relying on the approval or validation of others. This internal appreciation builds genuine confidence and self-assurance.