why we struggle with discipline (& how to improve)

Summary

This video encourages viewers to embrace self-love through discipline and create their own path, free from societal expectations. The speaker highlights the importance of small, consistent changes in habits rather than seeking overnight success. By focusing on what truly serves personal growth, individuals can align their daily lives with their dreams and goals. The video also emphasizes the value of self-reflection, patience, and a personalized timeline for success. Ultimately, it's about trusting your inner guidance and gradually building a life that reflects your desired reality.

Takeaways

• 😊 Self-love is about choosing what works best for you, not following society's rules for success.
• 🌱 2023 is a year to implement lessons learned from previous years and take action on what aligns with your goals.
• 🧘‍♀️ Listen to your inner guidance system and take your own unique path toward success.
• 💪 Discipline, when done out of love and not shame, is an important act of self-care and growth.
• 🌸 It's okay to take time to ease into new habits; change doesn't happen overnight.
• 📅 Focus on small, consistent changes instead of seeking immediate results or overnight success.
• 🔍 Take time to evaluate what's no longer serving you and adjust your habits accordingly.
• 📝 Create a clear timeline and action plan for your goals to stay organized and focused.
• 🎯 Shift focus from end goals to aligning your daily habits with the person you want to become.
• 🏡 Real estate investing is highlighted as a means of building passive income and wealth, with tools like Arrived making it accessible.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the script?

The main theme of the script is self-empowerment and personal growth, encouraging people to create their own reality by implementing discipline, self-love, and focusing on what serves their individual path, rather than following societal expectations.

How does the speaker suggest we approach discipline?

The speaker suggests approaching discipline from a place of self-love rather than shame. They emphasize that developing healthy habits should be done out of care for oneself, rather than as a punishment or reaction to societal pressures.

Why does the speaker emphasize small changes over major life overhauls?

The speaker emphasizes small changes because they believe that success and transformation come from gradual, consistent efforts, rather than expecting immediate or overnight success. Small adjustments in daily habits are seen as more sustainable and effective in the long run.

What does the speaker say about societal expectations and productivity?

The speaker challenges societal expectations around productivity, noting that society often pressures people to wake up early, make a lot of money, or follow strict routines to be considered successful. They argue that true success is defined by personal rules and what works best for each individual.

What is the significance of the winter season according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, the winter season is a time for rest, reflection, and going inward. It’s a period to evaluate what’s no longer serving you and to prepare for growth and action in the spring, rather than feeling pressured to immediately be productive.

How does the speaker view the relationship between the journey and the end goal?

The speaker encourages focusing on the journey rather than obsessing over the end goal. They believe that enjoying the process of growth and learning is key, and that being fixated on immediate results can lead to frustration and burnout.

What advice does the speaker give for setting goals in 2023?

The speaker advises breaking down goals into smaller, manageable steps and creating systems around them. They suggest setting a timeline and focusing on consistent actions rather than expecting instant success.

What role does self-awareness play in the speaker’s approach to personal growth?

Self-awareness plays a critical role in the speaker’s approach. They encourage listeners to tune into their own inner guidance and desires, rather than following external influences, in order to align with their true purpose and path.

Why does the speaker suggest taking an inventory of habits?

The speaker suggests taking an inventory of habits to identify which ones are helping or hindering progress toward a desired reality. This reflection allows individuals to make informed adjustments to align more closely with their goals.

What does the speaker mean by 'discipline is self-love'?

The speaker means that discipline, when approached from a place of love and care for oneself, is a form of self-respect. It’s about creating structure and habits that support well-being and personal growth, rather than being something negative or restrictive.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Overcoming Society's Expectations and Creating Your Own Path

The speaker reflects on how societal pressures make us feel inadequate if we don't conform to certain expectations, like waking up early or earning a specific income. They emphasize that these standards are not universally true and that everyone has the power to create their own reality. The speaker believes the years 2020 to 2022 brought significant transformation and awakening, revealing what no longer serves us—whether it’s people, thought patterns, or institutions. Moving forward, they encourage a focus on aligning with one's true desires and purpose in 2023, without making excuses.

05:01

🧘‍♀️ Embracing Self-Discipline with Love

This section explores the importance of discipline as a form of self-love. The speaker shares their personal journey of balancing relaxation and discipline, emphasizing that implementing healthy habits is a way of honoring oneself. They argue that discipline shouldn't come from guilt or shame but from love and the desire to protect and nurture oneself. The speaker encourages shifting perspective on habit-building, focusing on how positive changes can align us with our desired realities.

10:01

🌱 Small Changes Lead to Big Results

The speaker stresses that success is not achieved overnight. They advocate for making small, consistent changes to habits and routines, drawing from insights in the book *Atomic Habits*. These small changes, when built upon over time, lead to significant improvements. The speaker also cautions against focusing too much on the end goal, as doing so can cause frustration. Instead, they encourage enjoying the journey of self-improvement and staying present in the process of growth.

🎯 Planning and Goal Setting with Systems in Mind

The speaker explains their approach to goal-setting, breaking down goals into yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily tasks. They emphasize the importance of creating a timeline and building systems rather than solely focusing on the outcome. For example, they outline their own goal of learning about real estate investing and explain how they plan to achieve it through small, daily steps. They advocate for a structured, yet flexible approach to personal growth that allows for continuous progress.

📅 Visualization and Staying Attuned to Your Inner Guidance

The final section highlights the importance of self-reflection and inner guidance in goal setting. The speaker encourages taking time to meditate, journal, or pray to align with one’s true desires and goals. They also suggest creating a vision board to visualize goals more tangibly. The speaker reiterates the need to follow one’s own path, free from societal expectations, and to prioritize personal timing and intuition when planning for the future.

Keywords

💡Self-love

Self-love is the practice of caring for and valuing oneself. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that discipline is a form of self-love, where healthy habits are implemented not out of shame or guilt, but out of love for oneself. This concept is central to the message of creating habits that serve one’s well-being rather than adhering to societal pressures.

💡Discipline

Discipline is described as a key to achieving personal growth and success. The speaker emphasizes that it should come from a place of self-love, not punishment. It is about consistently applying effort toward habits that align with one's goals, making small changes over time to create a meaningful impact, as opposed to sudden drastic shifts.

💡Societal expectations

Societal expectations refer to the pressures and standards imposed by society regarding success, productivity, and self-worth. The speaker critiques these expectations, particularly the idea that one must follow rigid routines or achieve financial milestones to be considered successful. Instead, the video advocates for making personal rules based on one's unique values and goals.

💡Personal reality

Personal reality is the idea that individuals have the power to shape their lives and experiences based on their own beliefs and actions. The speaker discusses how people can design their own rules and realities that best serve them, breaking free from the external influences that often dictate how one should live.

💡Transformation

Transformation is described as a deep and personal process of change that many experienced during the years 2020 to 2022. The speaker notes that this period prompted a collective awakening where individuals began to reassess their values, goals, and what no longer serves them, setting the stage for positive changes in 2023.

💡Divine purpose

Divine purpose refers to the unique path or calling each individual has in life, often shaped by personal values rather than societal influences. In the video, the speaker suggests that many people are beginning to discover their divine purpose, freeing themselves from external programming to focus on what truly matters to them on a spiritual and personal level.

💡Habits

Habits are routine actions or behaviors that can either support or hinder personal growth. The video emphasizes the importance of consciously choosing habits that align with one’s goals and letting go of those that no longer serve one's well-being. The speaker advocates for small, consistent changes rather than grand, overwhelming gestures.

💡Journey

The journey is a metaphor for the ongoing process of self-improvement and personal growth. The speaker highlights that life is not about reaching an end goal quickly but enjoying the process of evolving and learning. This concept is contrasted with the idea of an 'overnight success,' which the speaker believes undermines the importance of persistence and gradual progress.

💡Winter season

The winter season is used symbolically to represent a period of rest, reflection, and inward focus. The speaker encourages viewers not to rush into action just because it is the start of the new year but to recognize that this time is ideal for introspection and planning, much like how nature hibernates and prepares for the renewal of spring.

💡Goal setting

Goal setting is the process of defining clear, actionable objectives. The speaker emphasizes that while setting goals is important, it is equally vital to focus on the systems and habits that lead to the achievement of those goals. The video advises against focusing solely on the end result and encourages breaking goals into manageable, time-bound tasks.

Highlights

You can create your own reality by choosing rules that work best for you and recognizing the power in that choice.

The years 2020 to 2022 were transformative, revealing what no longer serves people and prompting personal and collective awakenings.

2023 is a year of applying lessons learned, shifting focus to what truly serves you and aligning your life with your goals.

It's important to stop making excuses and start focusing on how to attract abundance and make positive changes in life.

Discipline is a form of self-love, and implementing healthy habits should come from a place of love, not shame.

You should take inventory of what is no longer serving you, whether that’s people, thought patterns, or institutions like your job.

Avoid subscribing to societal pressure; focus on your inner guidance and divine timing rather than external expectations.

Making small changes every day is more effective than expecting overnight success or drastic transformation.

It’s essential to focus on enjoying the journey, not just obsessing over the end goal or results.

Systems are more important than just goals: create a structure for consistent action, like breaking down goals into yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily tasks.

Vision boards and detailed planning can help visualize your goals in the material world and align your current self with your future aspirations.

Winter is the perfect time to reflect, spend time alone, and plan what you want to embody in the upcoming year.

Atomic habits emphasize the power of small, consistent changes that lead to sustainable success rather than relying on big, one-time efforts.

Pay attention to personal synchronicities and inner guidance rather than external opinions when setting goals for yourself.

The focus should be on self-awareness and understanding what steps are necessary to align with your future, even if that process takes time.

Transcripts

we always want the best for ourselves

because we love ourselves and it can be

hard to truly feel like that sometimes

because Society teaches you that if

you're not doing this then you're not

doing enough or if you're not making

this much money then you're not good

enough here or if you don't wake up at

5am every single day then you can't

possibly be successful and be rich it's

not true none of it is true you can

really truly make the rules of your own

reality because you are living in your

own world there is so much power in you

deciding what rules work the best for

you I feel like the year is 20 28 to

like 2022 we're very deep heavy

transformative years for a lot of us

there's been a huge Collective Awakening

that's been happening a lot has been

revealed to us a lot of us are

discovering more of what we want out of

life more of what our Divine Purpose is

outside of the programming of society

and what other people have taught us we

should want and think and believe and I

feel like more than anything it's really

showed us what is no longer serving us

what people what thought patterns and

habits what institutions may be like

your job or maybe even school what

things are no longer serving you on your

divine plan and your unique path to

becoming again who it is that you feel

you should actually be and 2023 I think

is a year where we are finally putting

those lessons into practice how can you

physically change your reality what can

you do on your in your day-to-day life

to make your reality more aligned to the

reality that you are dreaming of that's

what I think a lot of us are being

tasked with and we've done that right

we've done a little bit of that work in

the past few years but I think 2023 is

really the year that we stop making

excuses we stop sitting around and

thinking about what it is that we don't

want and we really start focusing on

what we do want we really start focusing

on what it is that is serving us how we

can attract abundance into our lives and

what work we need to do in order to get

there and I really want to speak in this

video specifically about some ways that

you can do this some ways that I least I

am putting that into practice and before

we get too far into the video I do want

to say I know it's a new year and I know

there's a million and one videos out

there right now about how to be

productive and how to be your best self

and how to take action right now and

maybe you don't feel that motivated or

that inspired right this second and

that's totally okay I know I didn't the

day the New Year came but someone

actually commented this on my channel

and it was really helpful for me and

that was reminding me that we are not we

don't have to subscribe to what Society

is telling us just because it's a new

year and just because the calendar marks

a shift in our energies in a transition

yes that is happening but that doesn't

mean that it's happening right away

we're still in the winter season we're

still in this season of rest of

hibernation of going Inward and really

looking at ourselves and our homes right

being inside a lot more and spring is a

lot of times that season for us to

Blossom and to bloom and to put more

things into action and start doing more

things I really encourage you to not

look at what other people are telling

you you should be doing and really

following the guidance of your inner

system you know yourself better than

anyone else you know yourself better

than I know you so really truly trust

yourself and trust your own Divine

timing as you're kind of keeping these

things in mind because maybe you're

feeling ready and motivated to implement

discipline and structure and all that

stuff and change right now but maybe

you're not and that's okay either way I

know for me I'm kind of like taking my

time slowly but surely easing into this

new reality but it's not going to be an

automatic switch it's just not how life

works so anyways first thing I think

it's really important to keep in mind

this year is that discipline is

self-love this is something that I

really struggled with and something that

if y'all have been following me for a

while y'all know as I entered into my

soft girl feminine era I was like let's

just chill let's just Vibe I'm over

Society in the 3D I don't want to follow

any of the rules and I just want to go

on my own pace as I kind of fell deeper

and deeper into that I started to

realize that there's actually a lot of

power in having discipline I think the

key to this is doing things out of love

instead of doing them out of Shame

whatever good habits you want to start

implementing whatever bad habits you

want to get rid of you're doing these

things because you love yourself not

because you're in trouble not because

you're a bad person or you've been a bad

person or you've been doing a bad job we

always want the best for ourselves

because we love ourselves and it can be

hard to truly feel like that sometimes

because Society teaches you that if

you're not doing this then you're not

doing enough or if you're not making

this much money then you're not good

enough here or if you don't wake up at

5am every single day then you can't

possibly be successful and be rich it's

not true none of it is true you can

really truly make the rules of your own

reality because you are living in your

own world there is so much power in you

deciding what rules work the best for

you so for example if you're the kind of

person who's on Tick Tock right before

they go to sleep and you're recognizing

that that is no longer serving you it

can be hard to let that go when it can

feel like a lot of pressure that like oh

my gosh it's 10 p.m right now and I'm

still scrolling through Tick Tock what

is wrong with me and then you feel this

shame and then you feel this guilt and

then you're mad at yourself when you're

coming from that place of fear and anger

of oh no I did something wrong so I need

to change it's not going to help you but

when you start shifting your perspective

and realizing that oh I'm putting my

phone away because I honor myself and I

love myself and I want to give my mind

that time to settle down and to relax

and to not have other people in my ear

in my subconscious mind before I fall

asleep or right when I wake up even when

you start recognizing that you're doing

these things to protect yourself in the

same way you would protect a little girl

or a little kid who doesn't know any

better when they go about doing things

they're not healthy for them when you

start having that loving perspective for

yourself discipline and healthy habits

become a lot easier because you realize

you're doing these things out of love

instead of out of Shame so as you're

starting to plan and look at you know

what habits you want to start

implementing and what habits you want to

get rid of for this new year I really

encourage you to start looking at it

from a healthy perspective and when you

find yourself getting into a negative

cycle or a negative way of thinking

about them take a step back go within

and really ask yourself what it is that

you truly want out of life what again

what do you want your reality to look

like recognize that you deserve to have

that reality right and these habits that

you're going to be implementing are for

you to get closer to that reality that

you already deserve also I think it's

really important to recognize that it's

not going to be an overnight thing as

you start kind of trying to implement

new things new habits you are not going

to be an overnight success manifesting

whatever it is that you want out of life

whether that be just more money you

quitting your job you traveling

somewhere any of the any whatever it is

you want it's a journey and I talk about

this a lot on my channel but oftentimes

we get so focused this on the outcome

the results that we want that end goal

that we take ourselves out of the

present and we stop enjoying the journey

but in reality the whole point of this

life is to enjoy the journey of getting

anywhere that you want to get so you are

not going to be an overnight success

with anything that you are trying to

implement because that's not the point

it wouldn't be fun if you were it

wouldn't be fun if you woke up tomorrow

and you had nothing that you need to

change nothing that you needed to

improve and you were just life was

perfect it would not be fun anymore

there would be no point in living

because you've had it all and there's

nothing else to learn so even thinking

about like a healing journey and trying

to be your best self spiritually

mentally that is not going to ever have

an end goal they're constantly evolving

we're constantly growing spiritually so

stop focusing so much on an end goal yes

have goals don't get me wrong have goals

have things that you're working towards

but don't Focus so much on that end

result I say all the time focus on the

journey and do not obsess over being an

overnight success and do not obsess over

being perfect right away because you're

going to get frustrated with yourself

you're going to burn yourself out and

you're going to be

a month into the new year and you're

going to feel like giving up and that's

not the way that you want to approach

your goals I really encourage you this

year focus on making small changes doing

small things small adjustments to your

habits into your routines until you

start to feel more in flow with

everything I'm reading this book right

now called a tap Atomic habits highly

highly recommend it and he basically

talks about this you know when you're

whenever you're trying to make any kind

of change in your life it's not really

about making this one big Grand gesture

and suddenly again your life is just

completely different when you wake up

the next day it's really about making

small changes every single day and as

you make more and more small changes as

you adjust maybe your morning routine a

little bit every single day the small

things that you start doing become more

automatic and that's when you start to

add more changes in your life it's not

just about becoming again an overnight

success suddenly you know posting one

time on YouTube and hoping that your

channel is just gonna pop off right that

is an amazing an amazing hope and dream

to have but it's not just about that

right it's about figuring out how you

can build a system so you can be

consistent and so you can build on it

more and more instead of trying to focus

again on this overnight change so I

really encourage you if you haven't

already start taking an inventory of

your habits and your current systems and

start figuring out what little

adjustments you can make to again

further shift into the reality that you

want to align to so I think the winter

is the perfect time to do this I did

this a lot in December and I feel like

I'm still doing this quite a bit right

now where I'm really just sitting with

myself spending a lot of time alone to

be honest and really just asking myself

what it is that I want in this next year

again what it what do I need to walk

away from what is no longer serving me

but also what do I need to start doing

to embody who it is that I want to be

and also who do I want to be a lot of

times I feel like we think that we need

to have everything figured out all of

our goals all of our plans for the next

year as soon as the New Year comes but

you may find as you sit with your

yourself a little bit more again go into

meditation Journal pray do whatever

works best for you you may start to feel

yourself being called to different

things that you weren't normally called

to before so really pay attention really

listen to again your inner guidance

system pay attention to what's going on

in your daily life what synchronicities

you're noticing and again you may start

to find that there's a path for you that

you feel really called to once you start

doing that more and more you may start

to find yourself being called to write

this down to take notes to maybe make a

vision board a vision board is a really

great way to kind of put that

visualization into like the actual 3D

material world and then from there I

really just like to plan out everything

I break down my goals through like

yearly monthly weekly and then even

daily to do so I timeline my entire year

I break it down into quarters and then I

really just list out in each quarter

what are the major things happening and

placing your goals in that timeline so

you maybe have a goal of starting a

YouTube channel and that's awesome but

don't don't just say that you have a

goal starter YouTube channel in 2023

have that in your timeline know that you

want to start your YouTube channel by

March of 2023. I just think having a

timeline is a really good way to shift

your goals from these like ambiguous

things in this list to an actual

timeline that you can build an action

plan around and then you can kind of

shrink things down to your monthly goals

I like to get really specific with these

things so I have like my work goals but

I also have like my spiritual and my

body goals how much time do I want to

dedicate to learning a certain topic

every single month what are those topics

how am I going to do that and then also

how am I going to break that down week

by week and then you can also break that

down day by day I think it's just really

important as you're doing this to focus

on systems and not just goals so as

you're planning out your month what can

you do week to week and also day to day

to further align yourself to who it is

that you want to be don't Focus again so

much on that end goal and focus more on

aligning your current self to your

future dream self so for example for me

one of my major goals for 2023 is

learning more about investing in real

estate investing specifically I want to

build more passive income I want to

build my wealth and I just really want

to learn more about how to do that so

I'm really trying to make a plan of like

okay how can I do that day to day like

at least for like 30 minutes to an hour

in the morning and one platform that

I've been using to do this is called

arrived and I want to plug them really

quickly because they are the sponsor of

today's videos shout out to them a ride

if you guys have never heard of them is

a real estate crowdfunding platform that

actually makes it really easy to get

into real estate investing with as

little as a hundred dollars so you go on

the platform and they actually have

properties that they have hand selected

and done a lot of research on that you

yourself can invest in with other people

and start making Returns on obviously

real estate is one of those things that

takes a while to kind of get into if you

are interested in buying your own home

or investing in it but arrived is

amazing because it makes it very

accessible to invest in real estate and

just to learn more about the end

industry they actually have a whole

section on their website where you can

learn more about real estate real estate

investing and learn more about how to

kind of make more money off of their

website I'm going to leave my link to

them down below if you guys want to

check them out I just want to shout them

out because I just think it's an amazing

new platform that I've kind of been

getting into and I know that a lot of us

have goals of building passive income

and again growing our wealth in 2023 so

I think arrive is an amazing way to do

that and yeah shout out to them again

for sponsoring today's video and I know

that 2023 there is so much for us to

accomplish and to do but I just really

encourage you to again First Look within

on yourself spend these next few weeks

these next few months this season or

spend whatever time you need honestly to

really go within and make sure that you

know what it is that you want to be

doing don't Focus so much on what other

people are doing don't focus on what

Society is telling you listen to

yourself listen to your spirit and

really take that time to go inward so

you know where it is that you're being

guided to go in 2020 three so hopefully

this is helpful you guys I love you guys

so much I hope you guys are doing well

and having an amazing start to your New

Year let me know in the comments down

below what do you really focus on in

this current season

um to better yourself and to again

further align your reality to where it

is that you want to be and I will see

you guys in the next one