Japanese lady reacts to tips to attracting a Japanese woman - Dating beyond borders

Mrs Eats

20 Oct 202010:54

Summary

TLDRThis video offers insights on how foreign men can attract Japanese women, discussing cultural differences and social expectations. The hosts, Marina and Yui, highlight key points like politeness, personal space, and the importance of planning dates. They mention that Japanese women may not always express direct interest, and group dates are common early on. The video also touches on the concept of 'kokuhaku' (confession) for establishing relationships. While traditional gender roles are discussed, the hosts acknowledge that dating dynamics in Japan are evolving, especially among younger generations.

Takeaways

👩‍🏫 Japanese women often do not directly reject advances; they prefer to be polite and may not show direct interest.
🇯🇵 Foreign men are seen as exotic and may have an advantage when approaching Japanese women, but understanding cultural nuances is essential.
🤔 Guesswork is necessary when gauging a Japanese woman's interest, as they may not explicitly show it.
🌸 Japanese culture values politeness and subtlety in social interactions, making direct approaches seem aggressive.
💪 Opinions vary on the type of women Japanese men prefer, with some appreciating strong, assertive women.
🎩 Being a gentleman, such as opening doors or helping with coats, is appreciated in Japan.
🚶‍♀️ Personal space is important in Japan, with a preference for longer distances compared to Western cultures.
👥 Group dates are common initially, allowing women to feel more comfortable and get their friends' opinions.
🗺️ Japanese women appreciate men who plan and organize dates, showing thoughtfulness and care.
🗣️ Clear communication and defining the relationship status (kokuhaku) is important for understanding where each person stands.

Q & A

What is one advantage foreigners have when trying to attract a Japanese woman, according to the video?
-Foreigners may seem exotic to Japanese women, which can be an advantage in attracting them.
Why do Japanese women rarely reject men outright during an approach?
-Japanese women tend to be polite and avoid direct rejection, even if they are not interested, which can make it difficult for men to gauge their interest.
How do Japanese women typically respond to flirting or an approach?
-They may respond politely, have some chit-chat, but often without genuine interest unless they ask for a phone number or show clear signs of engagement.
What is the cultural difference between Japanese and Western women when it comes to showing interest?
-Western women may make it clearer whether they are interested or not, whereas Japanese women may not show clear signs, leaving more guesswork.
What type of women do Japanese men typically prefer, according to one of the speakers?
-Japanese men are often said to prefer feminine, kind, and quieter women rather than strong or aggressive women.
What is the Japanese cultural perspective on personal space and physical contact?
-Japanese people typically maintain a larger personal distance compared to Westerners, and close physical contact too soon can make them uncomfortable.
How are group dates perceived in Japan?
-Group dates are normal in Japan, especially for early dates, as it allows women to bring friends for advice and feel more comfortable while getting to know someone.
What is expected of men when planning a date with a Japanese woman?
-Japanese women generally appreciate when a man takes the lead in planning the date, organizing it smoothly, and showing thoughtfulness by making decisions such as where to go and what to eat.
How important is guessing a woman's preferences in Japanese dating culture?
-It is common for Japanese women to expect men to guess their preferences, rather than asking directly every time where they want to go or what they want to eat.
What is 'kokuhaku' in Japanese dating culture?
-'Kokuhaku' is a formal confession of feelings, where a person asks if the other wants to be in a serious relationship, establishing the status of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Outlines

00:00

👋 Introduction to Dating Advice for Attracting Japanese Women

Mrs. Eats introduces the video, where Marina and Yui discuss tips for attracting Japanese women, with a focus on cultural differences. The video is aimed at foreigners who may not be familiar with Japanese dating customs. They humorously acknowledge that while foreigners might seem exotic, there’s no magic trick to impress Japanese women, and it requires understanding their cultural behavior.

05:02

💬 Approaching Japanese Women: Guesswork and Politeness

Marina and Yui explain that Japanese women rarely say 'no' directly due to politeness, even if they're not interested. This makes it hard to tell if a woman is attracted to you, unlike Western women who are often more direct. They joke about the confusion men face when trying to interpret a woman’s polite response. It's also noted that Japanese men prefer feminine and quiet women, though Yui disagrees, stating some men enjoy stronger, more assertive women.

10:06

🤝 The Importance of Social Intelligence and Personal Space

The conversation shifts to the cultural importance of social intelligence in Japan. Approaching a woman too aggressively can be off-putting, and there’s a significant difference in personal space expectations. Japanese people tend to maintain a greater distance than Westerners, which can make physical closeness uncomfortable. They emphasize the importance of being considerate and respectful of these boundaries.

🎎 Group Dates and Leadership in Japanese Dating

Yui and Marina talk about the norm of group dates in Japan, where a woman might invite friends to get to know you better. This doesn’t mean she’s uninterested, but that she needs more time. Japanese women often expect men to take the lead in planning dates, showing appreciation for thoughtful preparation. However, they also want men to anticipate their needs without asking directly, such as offering a jacket if she's cold.

💡 Kokuhaku: Confession and Relationship Dynamics

The concept of 'kokuhaku' or confession is discussed, where a formal declaration is made to confirm a relationship. Without this, a woman might not know if she’s your girlfriend. They joke about needing to ask the father’s permission for serious relationships, but ultimately, the video stresses the importance of being clear about your intentions with a Japanese woman.

📅 Modern Japanese Dating and Evolving Expectations

Marina reflects on how some of the dating advice in the video feels outdated. Based on her experience with college students, she believes that Japanese women today are more forward, and men are more open to women taking the lead in dating. The video closes with a hopeful tone, inviting viewers to continue learning about cultural nuances in dating.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Approach

In the context of the video, 'approach' refers to how someone initiates contact with a Japanese woman. It highlights the cultural differences in approaching women, where Japanese women may not directly reject advances but remain polite, making it hard for men to gauge interest. This reflects the indirect communication style prevalent in Japanese culture.

💡Politeness

Politeness is emphasized as a core aspect of Japanese social interactions, especially between men and women. Japanese women may maintain politeness even when disinterested, leading to ambiguity. This concept underscores the importance of reading subtle cues rather than expecting direct responses in romantic contexts.

💡Personal Space

Personal space refers to the physical distance that Japanese people prefer in social interactions. The video explains that Japanese women typically require a larger personal space compared to Western women, and getting too close too soon can make them uncomfortable. This concept highlights cultural sensitivities around physical proximity.

💡Group Dates

Group dates, or 'goukon', are common in Japan and are suggested as an initial way to get to know a Japanese woman. The video explains that women often invite friends on early dates to seek opinions or make the environment more comfortable. This practice shows the importance of collective social validation in romantic pursuits in Japan.

💡Leadership

Leadership in this context refers to Japanese women's preference for men who take the initiative in planning and organizing dates. They appreciate men who put thought into the date, as it demonstrates care and effort. This aligns with traditional gender roles where men are expected to lead while women follow.

💡Indirect Communication

Indirect communication is a key cultural element in Japan. Instead of explicitly stating their feelings or intentions, Japanese women may rely on subtle gestures and hints. The video stresses that men need to 'guess' what a woman likes or wants, as direct questioning can be seen as undesirable.

💡Kokuhaku

'Kokuhaku' is the Japanese term for a confession of love or feelings. In Japanese culture, romantic relationships often begin with this formal declaration. The video explains that without such a confession, the woman may be unsure about the seriousness of the relationship, illustrating the structured nature of romantic progression in Japan.

💡Gentlemanly Behavior

Gentlemanly behavior refers to small gestures of kindness and chivalry, such as opening doors, offering a jacket, or pulling out chairs. The video highlights that such behavior is highly valued by Japanese women, as it signifies respect and care, and it plays a crucial role in attracting them.

💡Exoticism

Exoticism in the video refers to the advantage foreigners may have when attracting Japanese women. The speaker suggests that being foreign makes a man 'exotic' and thus more appealing to some Japanese women, though this advantage does not guarantee success without understanding cultural norms.

💡Cultural Expectations

Cultural expectations encompass the various traditional norms and behaviors that are expected in Japanese dating culture. The video discusses these, such as the man leading the date and maintaining a respectful distance, which are essential for navigating relationships with Japanese women.

Highlights

Japanese women typically don't say no when approached, which can lead to confusion in gauging interest.

Foreigners may have an advantage as they are considered exotic, but cultural understanding is still key.

Japanese women often remain polite even if they have no interest, making it hard to tell their true feelings.

Guessing whether a woman is interested becomes a challenge due to politeness, unlike in Western cultures where rejections are more direct.

Japanese men traditionally prefer quiet, feminine women, but modern Japanese women can be more assertive.

Personal space is very important in Japan, and Japanese women tend to keep a greater distance, especially early in relationships.

Small gestures of politeness, like opening doors or pulling out chairs, are highly appreciated by Japanese women.

Physical contact and closeness early on is not common and may make Japanese women uncomfortable.

Group dates are more common for initial meetings to ease into getting to know someone.

Japanese women tend to prefer men who take the lead in planning dates and making decisions.

There is an emphasis on the man showing effort by planning activities that show thoughtfulness toward the woman.

Japanese women might not openly express discomfort, even if they feel cold, but expect men to notice and offer help.

The 'kokuhaku' (confession) is a traditional way to formalize relationships in Japan, where men declare their feelings.

Although the video contains some traditional views, modern Japanese women are increasingly more assertive and independent.

Cultural norms are evolving in Japan, with younger generations showing more openness toward non-traditional dating dynamics.