How to NEVER run out of things to say
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Lloyd, a dating coach, shares actionable tips on how to never run out of things to say when talking to women. He emphasizes the importance of not over-filtering yourself, elaborating on your responses, and being expressive rather than sticking to facts. Lloyd suggests storytelling and using descriptive details to engage conversations, offering five key questions to ask. He also highlights strategies like using silence effectively and encouraging the other person to contribute more. His ultimate goal is to help viewers build engaging, natural conversations and create deeper connections.
Takeaways
- 😀 Stop filtering yourself too much. The key is to express your thoughts and emotions freely, as you would with a close friend.
- 🙂 It's not what you say, but how you say it. You can get away with saying a lot if it's said in a playful and relaxed manner.
- 😄 Give longer, more descriptive answers. Short, one-word responses kill conversations.
- 😎 Practice storytelling by describing your feelings, environment, and experiences. This keeps the conversation engaging.
- 🤔 Use five basic questions when in doubt: What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do? Who are you with? What's your plan for tonight?
- 😏 Try the chain of association drill. Pick key words from what the other person says and build new topics from them to keep the conversation going.
- 😜 It's okay to backtrack when you make a mistake. Apologize or explain, and then move on confidently.
- 😊 If you run out of things to say, ask her to tell you more about herself. It's a high-value move and keeps the conversation flowing.
- 😇 Be okay with silence. Awkward pauses can build tension and attraction. Let them sit instead of constantly talking.
- 🤩 Focus on taking action and practicing these skills in real-life interactions. Execution is the key to mastering these techniques.
Q & A
What is the main focus of the video?
-The main focus of the video is teaching men how to never run out of things to say when talking to women, especially in dating scenarios, and how to keep conversations engaging and meaningful.
What is the first tip the speaker provides for not running out of things to say?
-The first tip is to stop filtering what you say. The speaker advises being more natural and open in conversations, as people often filter themselves too much when talking to an attractive woman, which leads to awkward silences.
Why does the speaker emphasize how you say things rather than what you say?
-The speaker believes that the delivery and tone of what is said are more important than the actual content. Even potentially controversial statements can be received positively if said in a playful or confident manner.
What mistake do many men make when talking to women according to the speaker?
-Many men give short, one-word answers during conversations, which makes it difficult to keep the conversation going and leads to disengagement from both parties.
How can men become better at keeping conversations going, according to the speaker?
-Men can become better at keeping conversations going by learning to elaborate on their answers, telling stories, and painting vivid pictures using emotions and descriptions. Being a good storyteller helps to keep people engaged.
What is the purpose of the five questions the speaker suggests asking during conversations?
-The five questions are designed to keep conversations going smoothly and gather important information about the woman, such as her background and what she's doing that night, which can help determine if further interaction is worthwhile.
Can you explain the 'Chain of Association' drill?
-The 'Chain of Association' drill helps maintain a flowing conversation by using key words or phrases from the other person’s statement to form new related topics. This allows the conversation to continuously evolve and introduces fresh topics.
Why does the speaker suggest being okay with silence during conversations?
-The speaker suggests being okay with silence because awkward silences can create tension, which is a natural part of attraction. Silence also gives the other person an opportunity to contribute to the conversation.
What does the speaker mean by 'telling her to talk' and why is it important?
-The speaker encourages men to ask the woman to talk about herself if they feel the conversation is dying out. This helps to shift the focus onto her and allows her to qualify herself, which is an important dynamic in dating.
How does the speaker propose handling situations where something offensive is said?
-The speaker advises acknowledging the mistake, apologizing quickly, and moving on. Most people are forgiving if they sense that the mistake was unintentional and addressed immediately.
Outlines
🎯 Introduction and the Common Struggle of Running Out of Things to Say
The speaker, Lloyd, introduces himself as a dating coach and addresses the issue many face: running out of things to say during conversations with attractive women. He relates this to personal and student experiences of awkward silences. Lloyd promises practical tips on maintaining conversations, progressing toward desired outcomes, and being captivating while encouraging the other person to contribute more.
🗣️ Stop Over-Filtering Your Thoughts
Lloyd explains that filtering thoughts too much is a major reason why people struggle in conversations, especially with someone they find attractive. He contrasts how freely people talk to close friends versus someone new. He encourages expressing thoughts more openly, stressing that it’s not always about what you say but how you say it, even if it might seem inappropriate at times. He advises to embrace mistakes, backtrack if necessary, and keep pushing forward, rather than over-filtering.
💬 Give Detailed Responses, Not Short Answers
Lloyd discusses the importance of avoiding short, one-word responses. He encourages elaboration, sharing stories, and tapping into emotions. This helps create a better conversation flow and builds a stronger connection. He advises practicing storytelling skills and using descriptive language to paint a vivid picture, making the conversation more engaging and preventing it from drying up.
❓ Use the Five Simple Questions to Keep Conversations Going
Lloyd introduces five simple questions to ask when stuck in a conversation: 'Who are you?' (name), 'Where are you from?' (location), 'What do you do?' (occupation), 'Who are you with?' (companions), and 'What are your plans?' (for the night or day). These basic questions maintain a normal conversation flow and can lead to deeper connections. He reassures that even 'boring' conversations can be successful, emphasizing that it’s how you ask, not what you ask.
🔗 Master the Chain of Association
Lloyd introduces a conversation technique called the 'Chain of Association,' where you pick keywords from a statement and expand on them to keep the conversation flowing. He provides an example of how to continuously link topics, showing how this method can prevent running out of things to say. He advises practicing this drill alone to become more comfortable and spontaneous in conversations.
🙋♀️ Encourage Her to Talk About Herself
Lloyd suggests directly asking the other person to share more about themselves if you run out of things to say. This tactic shifts the focus and puts the conversational burden on them, creating a more balanced dialogue. He emphasizes this approach as a high-value move that shows confidence and positions you as someone who isn’t just trying to impress, but is genuinely curious about the other person.
🤐 Be Comfortable with Silence
Lloyd advises that silence is not always a bad thing and should not be feared. He points out that many people, especially beginners, panic when there’s a lull in conversation, but awkward silences can actually build tension and attraction. He suggests embracing these moments as opportunities for reflection and letting the other person fill the gap, which can lead to deeper conversations.
🚀 Take Action and Keep Practicing
In his concluding remarks, Lloyd stresses the importance of action. He notes that many people fail to develop effective conversational habits because they don’t practice. He encourages viewers to reach out for consultation to improve their skills and reminds them that consistent effort is key to success. He closes by inviting comments, likes, and subscriptions to his channel.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Filtering
💡Elaboration
💡Storytelling
💡Chain of Association
💡Silence
💡Captivating
💡Questions
💡Vibe
💡Intent
💡Tension
Highlights
The speaker introduces himself as Lloyd, a dating coach, offering practical and actionable advice for dating and building connections.
The main topic of the video is how to never run out of things to say during conversations, particularly with attractive women.
Lloyd emphasizes the importance of not filtering your speech too much, explaining that self-filtering often leads to awkward silences and stifles conversation.
The concept of 'how you say something' being more important than 'what you say' is highlighted as a crucial factor in successful conversations.
Storytelling and being descriptive with emotions and experiences are emphasized as key to captivating conversations.
Lloyd discusses the common mistake of giving short answers, which shuts down the conversation. Instead, he advises providing more detailed responses.
To enhance conversations, Lloyd suggests developing storytelling skills, such as painting a picture by talking about sights, sounds, feelings, and environment.
He introduces the concept of the 'five questions,' which can serve as conversation starters and help assess logistical compatibility with someone.
Lloyd introduces the 'Chain of Association' drill, a method to keep conversations flowing by branching off from a single statement or idea into related topics.
The importance of being okay with making mistakes and offending someone is mentioned, as Lloyd advises how to backtrack from awkward or offensive remarks.
Lloyd stresses the importance of not just trying to impress someone but also seeing if they are a good fit for your life.
He suggests putting the responsibility of conversation on the other person by asking them to share more about themselves, which shifts the dynamic in a positive way.
Lloyd encourages being comfortable with silence, explaining that awkward silences can actually build tension and enhance attraction.
He advises men to allow space for women to contribute to the conversation, as constant talking might prevent the other person from engaging.
The speaker ends by inviting viewers to take action, suggesting a consultation for those who want to further develop their conversational skills.
Transcripts
what's going on you guys my name is
Lloyd your pickup and dating coach here
with the single guy we're giving you
practical and actionable advice that
really works not some mainstream be
yourself [ __ ] today were to be
talking about a subject that a lot of
people ask me and that's how to never
run out of things to say especially with
an attractive girl so if you clicked on
this video you've probably been in that
situation where you're talking to a girl
and you just can't think of what to say
next and then there's like a really
awkward silence and then you just both
leave with like a bad taste in your
mouth okay so this has probably happened
to you and to happen to a lot of my
students and it used to happen to me a
lot too but ironically it never happens
to me anymore because I go by the tips
that I'm going to give you in this video
in this video I'm gonna show you how to
never run out of things to say I'm gonna
show you how to say things that are
actually gonna progress it in the
direction that you want like get a phone
number get around in a daze or have sex
with her you know moving into positive
direction and then I'm also gonna show
you how to be captivating and help her
contribute to the conversation more okay
so let's get right into it
the first tip that I'm gonna give you is
first of all stop filtering what you say
so much stop filtering what you say so
much you guys most of you watching this
video I guarantee you you probably have
a best friend or someone that you can
talk to you for just hours on end like
you kind of lose track of time
you'd never run out of things to talk
about with this person why is this well
it's because you're not filtering what
you say whatever your thoughts and
feelings are you're you feel free to
express them with this person because
you trust them but when it's with a hot
girl you start filtering you start
saying ah don't say that that's not cool
or that's lame she's not gonna like that
or you know they don't say that you know
if you're thinking about like I don't
allow this girl is like really nice too
it's obviously you probably don't want
to say something like that but guys go
too far when they filter a lot of what
they say so in this I want you guys to
stop filtering what you say so much
remember it's not what you say it's how
you say it even what I just said where I
was to saying all this girl is really
nice tits I probably shouldn't say that
I can actually get away with saying that
sometimes because it's the way you say
it especially if you say things in a
very playful manner you can get away
with saying a lot of stuff and you have
to
be conscious of the intent okay if
you're intending to try and have a vibe
between two people if you're trying to
like have a good connection well then it
helps to not filter yourself so much not
stifle the thoughts that you have inside
a lot of guys they're self-conscious
because they feel like the thoughts that
they have to express just aren't cool or
people don't want to hear about them you
know I used to be one of these people
when I was in college and majoring in
physics and I didn't think that anybody
would really want to talk about that and
the truth is they don't want to talk
about the math equations but they are
curious to hear my experience if you're
able to capture your experience you're
able to delve into the emotions behind
it whatever subject you're talking to I
guarantee you people are gonna enjoy
hearing it okay they don't really care
so much about the facts the figures they
care about your experience they care
about the emotions and the vibe of the
conversation is gonna have as a result
of that okay now when you start talking
more without filtering yourself
obviously there are times where you're
gonna make a mistake we're gonna say
something that might offend her maybe
something's too rude or something like
that and you have to backtrack a little
bit okay so what I'm really good at and
guys I mess up all the time when I'm
talking to people sometimes I make a
joke nobody laughs sometimes I say
things that I like to inappropriate
somebody gets offended it's fine I just
backtrack I just say hey sorry I didn't
mean to offend you and then we move on
or hey that joke kills around my mom you
know just whatever okay so you just be
able to backtrack recognize when you've
made a mistake and then keep pushing for
people are usually quick to forgive if
you recognize the fact that it might
have upset somebody or it might have
offended somebody and hey look you're
not gonna make friends with everyone so
if even if you rub some people the wrong
way that's okay what's not okay is never
attempting and never expressing yourself
because you're not going to get any
results from that tip number two is stop
giving such short answers okay most guys
when I hear them talk to women they'll
at the girl will ask them a question
they'll be like hey how was your day and
they'll just be like fine and the bike
oh cool where are you from here oh nice
where your friends at they're around
it's like dude like this girl is trying
to talk to you man and you're being like
like no wonder you're running out of
stuff to talk about because you keep
giving these short one-word answers and
as a result when you ask her a question
what is she gonna do she's gonna give
one
defensive answers as well so that
doesn't make for a very good
conversation those conversations die out
super quick nothing's gonna happen from
what you should start doing is get good
at be elaborating get good at expressing
hey what really happened in your day
okay
again delve into the emotions here women
do not care about the logical facts
figures in fact most people don't care
about that in you know your stories okay
sure that gets the information across if
you're in a business meeting very
effectively but when you're in a
conversation with somebody you're not
trying to pass off information you're
trying to experience you're trying to
feel you're trying to be a part of the
conversation and hang out with that
person and it doesn't really matter so
much about the facts and figures I mean
if you listen to like you know the way
women talk on the phone or the way they
talk to each other it that like the
content doesn't matter it's the fact
that they're hanging out and there's
like a vibe between the two of them
that's the real important thing here so
get good at giving longer answers maybe
you could say instead of saying oh my
date was good just tell a little story
tell like you know I was walking back
home the other day and I was feeling
kind of weird like I don't know why I
was feeling weird like I feel like I had
a good day at work I felt like
everything was going good and about half
an hour later I realized I was hungry
and as soon as I ate I felt better now
that seems like a lame silly story but
the fact that I was expressive the fact
that I kind of delved into the emotions
a little bit I guarantee you that's
actually not a bad story to tell a woman
you know especially if you guys are
talking flirting with each other you
know we should probably oh my god yes
the other day like I thought I was
hungry too it sounds silly but you guys
have to realize that it's not about the
content of what you're saying it's how
you're saying it and the relatability of
it and that too and the fact that you're
experiencing with another person okay so
stop giving such short answers one thing
that really helps with this to become a
good storyteller I've you know you can
check out a video I actually have a
video on this subject or how to be a
better storyteller and I tell about you
have to paint pictures when you're
talking to someone you have to talk
about what you saw what you heard maybe
what you felt maybe if you tasted some
things who get really good at being
descriptive of the environment you're
right not only you're gonna be more of a
captivating speaker but you're also
gonna have more to talk about you're
gonna be able to keep the conversation
going and people are gonna be really
entranced in what you're saying when I
was telling that story I was kind of
talking about my feelings when I was
feeling
hungry a little bit it was a short story
but you can see how descriptive I am
when I tell stories and that's why
there's so much more engaging and that's
why I can talk for a lot longer than a
lot of most people tip number three are
the five questions that I go by so if
you haven't seen my video on five
questions I ask every girl when I'm out
watch that video right now basically
these are oshit questions these just
like if you can't think of anything to
say you can't think of anything to ask
her you go for these five questions
they're really simple the first three or
small talk the last two are logistical
so it's basically who are you this is
kind of like what's your name
where are you from what do you do like
your occupation and the last two are who
are you here with and what's your plan
for tonight or what are you up to today
you know the last two are gonna tell you
if it makes sense for you to keep
talking to her like if she's at a
bachelorette party and she leaves the
next day or if she actually lives in the
area and she's gonna be hanging out
there that night okay so these are
really important for to see if you're
gonna make progress with this girl but
they're also like just easy questions
that she knows the answer to and she's
gonna tell you it's not like a really
complicated question that's gonna like
lead to something crazy these are normal
questions that everybody asks and it's a
normal part of the conversation and so a
lot what a lot of guys try and do is
they're they emphasize too much they
think because there's because they're
filtering what they say they think that
normal questions are boring and that
they shouldn't ask them well I have
normal boring conversations all the time
and a lot of times they can lead to sex
it's remember it's not what you say it's
how you say it okay so these questions
are totally fine if you just want to
keep the conversation going in a normal
fashion and sometimes the conversation
gets a little too crazy like we're
talking about something really obscure
constantly bantering and then I'll bring
it down to a normal level just so I show
or that hey I'm a normal person and I'm
trying to get to know you and it just
kept you've built up a little bit of
comfort too tip number four is the chain
of Association drill so this is
basically how you keep the conversation
going how you keep finding new topics of
conversation to talk about you never
really run out of topics of conversation
and you can practice this by yourself
basically the drill is this if you're
talking to someone and she says
yesterday I ran a mile okay so you have
three things that you can talk about
there I know I was honest about two
before but
you have three things you have yesterday
ran mile any three of those things you
can come up with a news and new
statement so let's do ran okay so when I
was in in middle school I did a lot of
track if I ran a lot of track and field
so there's a new statement right there
you can talk about middle school you can
talk about track and field and you can
talk about competing
so let's key in on that's key and on
competing I compete a lot whenever it
comes to sports I'm a very competitive
person so right now I'm doing jujitsu
and so I compete a lot when I'm doing
jujitsu and although it's kind of new
and exciting for me and I'm not very
good at it I'm still able to to go
against guys that I feel like I'm making
progress against ok so now we have a new
statement now we have jujitsu now we
have well we had competition but that's
what we were talking about before and
then we have getting better and
improving so let's say you wanted to
talk about a new statement so getting
better improvements a big part of life
so if you are trying to be a happy
person I would say that you should be
constantly improving on things
improvement is one of the biggest
antidotes for depression in my opinion
ok so now we have new statement talking
about depression happiness and talk
about quality of life let's talk about
depression a lot of people are depressed
these days you know it runs through my
family I've dealt with a little bit of
my life but I think the key thing about
here is to not focus on it too much and
just concentrate on moving and working
ahead because I've my opinion action
improving those are the types of things
they're gonna make you a better person
and they're gonna keep you happy overall
in the long term and I think going for
happiness actually is one of the biggest
mistakes that people make because when
they're going for happiness they put too
much expectation on it I think we should
really go for his satisfaction ok cool
so you can see how we went from we went
from I ran a mile to two track-and-field
to competing and improving to depression
to quality of life so you saw how like
with a bunch of these topics they kind
of linked together ok and we're able to
just talk non-stop about different
things ok
practice doing this where you focus on
the
individual words these individual topics
and then link them all together and you
can rant you can talk forever for ages
okay now this might seem like a weird
thing to do and it might not seem like a
good conversation but again it's not
what you say it's how you say it like I
said if you hear way girls talk on the
phone it sounds nonsensical it's a lot
of times it sounds very confusing but
again it's not about the content of what
they're talking about it's the fact that
they're bonding with each other it's the
fact that they're actually just hanging
out and experiencing stuff with each
other the words yeah sure they can make
it get a little bit of a difference but
that's not why they're doing in the
first place
and once you're able to tap into this
you're able to actually free yourself
and have that million-dollar mouthpiece
that everybody talks about where you
just have endless stuff to talk about
and you're able to move it in a
direction that people want to keep it
exciting
I remember what while you're doing this
we should want to do is you what you
should want to link it with the tips
that I gave before which is tap into the
emotions get descriptive start telling
stories paint pictures if you're good at
doing both of these things in tandem
that's what give you that's what gives
you the million dollar mouthpiece
basically this is a person that can move
conversations in a direction that he
wants you can talk endlessly and you can
talk with anyone so this is not just
good for picking up women this is good
for life tip number six is if you really
can't think of anything to say there's a
lonely conversation you feel like you've
been talking for a while tell her to
start talking okay one of the things
that I use the align that I use all the
time is if I can't you know I've meet a
girl at the bar and then we kind of go
sit down someplace else I'll be like hey
tell me more about yourself okay
so in these scenarios you're putting it
back on her kind of like my previous
example but this is more direct and this
is a high-value thing to do man this is
like hey tell me more about yourself
let's see if you know I like you you're
getting her to qualify rather than you
just talking the whole time a big
problem that I see a lot of beginner
guys have is they're constantly trying
to speak of constantly trying to impress
the girl that they're talking to let her
impress you for a little bit okay
that's what a guy who's got a lot of
options does you know he's not seeing if
this if oh can I delete get this girl to
like me he's saying hey is this girl
good for me in my life that's what he's
going for and that's what I want you
guys to go for more as well too now
sometimes when you say hey tell me more
about
yourself she's gonna be like oh well
where do you what do you mean by that or
I'll say like you know tell me more
about yourself and then she'll be like
oh like what do you want to know and
I'll be like well I'll start I'm Lloyd
my favorite colors blue I like to do Jiu
Jitsu and on the weekends I walk my dog
so then she'll go and she'll say
something silly and then you have a
bunch of stuff to work with maybe she
walks her dog too maybe she does she
works out a bunch of topics that you can
talk about there and now you're you have
stuff to talk about
tip number tip number seven this is the
final tip that I'm gonna give you be
okay with silence be okay with silence a
lot of beginner guys and students that I
have they want to keep talking and if
they feel like there's any lull in the
conversation any sort of awkward silence
all the attractions killed it's over the
set done okay that's not true a lot of
times awkward silences are the best
things to have I will actually
intentionally put in awkward silences
sometimes the reason why I do this is
because if you don't if you're
constantly talking all the time you
don't let any any time for things to sit
you don't let any time for tension to
arise tension is that little bit of you
know playful discomfort that you get
especially with two people who like each
other that should be happening there
should be a healthy amount of like a
little bit awkward silences a little bit
of tension to it and if you hide away
from that
well you just killed a major part of the
attraction process or a major part of
the the you know the relationship okay
what you need to do is you need to be
okay with awkward silences give yourself
a little bit of time to think of
something new but think of something to
ask her or think hey you know what
there's something I don't know about
this person I'd like to know more about
her you know those are the types of
things that I want you guys to start
doing where rather than you're
constantly thing you hey how can i
impress this person how can I look good
you know what can this girl do for me
and once you're okay with awkward
silences you'll see a lot of times if
you've been talking for a while you let
the conversation the silence sit a
little bit should be like so where are
you from or like you have any siblings
or like you have a girlfriend she asks
you that obviously she's probably
interested in you you know but you never
gave her the opportunity to do that cuz
you were constantly talking okay so a
lot of times I'll see you guys fall into
that trap so don't be scared of awkward
silence don't be scared of silence in
general man give yourself a minute or
two
and then come back to it or not a minute
or two your resolves a few seconds and
then come back into the conversation all
right so that's all I have to say about
this subject if you guys have any more
tips that I didn't think of please put
in the comment section below we'd love
to hear them if you guys are wondering
how to do this in your everyday life I
would say 99% of the people that are
watching this video are not going to
develop the actual habits that are that
it takes to be able to talk non-stop and
never run out of things to say and the
reason why is because they don't go out
and execute or they don't execute
properly they're not taking action the
best way to start taking action is shoot
me an email let's hop on a consultation
call we'll talk about your goals and
we'll see if we can help you reach them
if you're going out this is a good idea
for you to do and something that it will
definitely get those results that you're
looking for so you guys have any
questions put in the comment section
below if you made Tyrion consider
subscribing I'll come out videos like
this every single week hit that like
button I'll talk to you guys soon good
luck out there
[Music]
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