How to Love Someone that is Hard to Love

Summary

In this video, Father Mike Schmitz addresses how to love difficult people, emphasizing that while it's easy to love those who recharge us, true love is tested with those who drain us. He explains three key points: first, acknowledge some people are harder to love; second, we can only give love if we first receive love from God; and third, love is a one-way street, where we will the good of others without expecting anything in return. He also highlights the importance of setting boundaries while showing love, as we're not called to be doormats.

Takeaways

• 😀 Father Mike Schmitz acknowledges that some people think he speaks too quickly, and he tries to slow down for this video.
• 🙂 There are people who are easy to love and people who are difficult to love, and loving the easy ones doesn't make us virtuous.
• 🙃 Jesus teaches us to love not just those who love us but also those who are difficult, including enemies.
• 😌 Loving difficult people doesn’t necessarily mean they are our enemies, but they could just annoy us or get under our skin.
• 🙄 To love others, we must first receive love from God—'We love because God first loved us.'
• 😊 St. Bakhita experienced God's love in a transformative way, which enabled her to love even those who hurt her.
• 💡 Love is a one-way street, meaning we love others without expecting anything in return. Relationships are two-way streets, but love itself is not.
• 🤔 Loving difficult people might not result in a reciprocal relationship, but it involves willing the good for the other person.
• 😇 Setting boundaries is important, as loving others doesn't mean becoming a doormat; wisdom and boundaries are necessary.
• 🙏 The love we give flows from God's love for us, and we are called to extend this love to others, regardless of how they treat us.

Q & A

What does Father Mike Schmitz mean by 'love is a one-way street'?

Father Mike explains that love is a one-way street because it involves willing the good of the other person, regardless of whether they love you back. He contrasts this with relationships, which are two-way streets requiring mutual give-and-take.

Why does Father Mike say it’s important to distinguish between people who are easy to love and those who are difficult?

Father Mike emphasizes the importance of recognizing that loving people who are easy to love doesn't make us more virtuous. The real challenge and test of love, as taught by Jesus, is loving those who are difficult to love, including enemies and those who frustrate us.

How does Father Mike suggest we handle people who drain our 'love battery'?

He suggests that it’s helpful to recognize when someone drains our energy or love but also reminds us that this is where true love is tested. We should strive to love these people despite the difficulty and maintain healthy boundaries.

What role does God’s love play in our ability to love others, according to Father Mike?

Father Mike stresses that we can only love others because God first loved us. To truly love difficult people, we must first receive and understand the unconditional love of God through Jesus.

What lesson can we learn from Saint Bakhita’s life regarding love?

Saint Bakhita experienced extreme hardship but was able to love her enemies because she understood she was 'definitively loved' by Jesus. Her deep understanding of God's love allowed her to forgive and love those who had hurt her.

Why does Father Mike caution against being a 'doormat' when loving difficult people?

Father Mike explains that while we are called to love others, we are also called to be wise and set boundaries. Loving someone doesn’t mean letting them walk all over us; it’s about willing their good without allowing them to harm us.

How does Father Mike define love in this context?

Father Mike uses Saint Thomas Aquinas's definition of love, which is 'willing the good of the other.' This kind of love does not require reciprocity or good feelings; it’s about choosing to act for the benefit of another.

What practical advice does Father Mike give for loving difficult people?

Father Mike advises us to first acknowledge who is difficult to love, recognize that we cannot give what we don't have (we must first receive love from God), and establish clear boundaries while choosing to will the good of the other person.

How does Father Mike relate Jesus’s teachings to loving difficult people?

Father Mike refers to Jesus’s teachings, which emphasize that loving only those who love you is not a true test of discipleship. To be a follower of Jesus, one must love even their enemies and those who are hard to love.

How does Father Mike suggest balancing love and boundaries?

Father Mike suggests that while we are called to love others as Jesus loves us, it’s important to be wise and set boundaries. These boundaries allow us to love difficult people without being mistreated or drained in an unhealthy way.