My Philosophy on Friendship: Mediocrity and Solace
Summary
TLDRThe speaker reflects on the meaning of friendship in modern society, arguing that the term has become diluted and superficial. They recount their experience of losing touch with a best friend, realizing how easily people forget each other when no longer relevant. The speaker emphasizes the value of solitude for personal growth and self-reflection, criticizing modern distractions like constant socializing and media consumption. They advocate for deeper, more meaningful relationships over a large number of shallow connections and stress the importance of spending time in solitude to develop original thoughts and self-improvement.
Takeaways
- 🤝 The concept of friendship has become generalized, losing its original depth and meaning.
- 💬 A true friend is someone with whom you share deep bonds, trust, and life experiences.
- ⚖️ Modern friendships often feel transactional and superficial, lacking substance.
- 📖 The speaker shares a story about their best friend, whom they drifted apart from after the friend moved away, highlighting the fragility of relationships.
- 📵 Despite having multiple ways to contact each other, the speaker and their former best friend have not spoken in months.
- 🕰️ The speaker believes that when you stop being relevant to someone, they can forget you instantly, regardless of the time or effort invested in the relationship.
- 🧘♂️ Solitude is seen as an opportunity for personal growth, reflection, and self-improvement.
- 🎧 The constant noise and distractions of modern life prevent people from engaging in introspection or solitude.
- 🤔 The speaker argues that many people lack depth and original thought, often regurgitating opinions from external sources.
- 📚 The speaker found happiness and personal growth in solitude, spending time reading, learning, and observing, but feels miserable in social environments filled with shallow connections.
Q & A
What does the speaker suggest friends have become in modern society?
-The speaker suggests that the term 'friends' has become generalized to the point of losing meaning. Many people have numerous friends, but those relationships lack depth or substance.
How does the speaker define a true friend?
-The speaker defines a true friend as someone with whom you share a lifelong bond. This person is trustworthy, shares your ideas, and is someone you grow with, live near, and can fully trust, even in difficult times.
What experience does the speaker share about their former best friend?
-The speaker talks about a best friend they met in the fifth grade but became close with in 2020. They were best friends for three years, spending hours together daily, but after the friend moved away, they lost contact and haven't spoken in months despite having various means to communicate.
What does the speaker say happens when you stop being relevant to someone?
-The speaker believes that once you stop being relevant to someone's life, they will forget you quickly, regardless of the time, money, and effort invested in the relationship.
How many close friends does the speaker believe a person truly needs?
-The speaker believes that a person only needs one or two, maybe three, close friends who are fully devoted to each other.
Why does the speaker value solitude (or 'solace') over superficial friendships?
-The speaker values solitude because it allows for personal growth and reflection. They argue that being alone with your mind, soul, and body forces you to improve yourself, as opposed to being constantly distracted by shallow relationships or external stimuli.
How does the speaker criticize modern society’s relationship with distractions?
-The speaker criticizes modern society for constantly filling its time with distractions, such as music, people, and endless scrolling. These distractions prevent people from spending time in solitude and growing mentally or spiritually.
What comparison does the speaker make between adults and children regarding observation?
-The speaker contrasts adults with children, stating that children, particularly toddlers and babies, spend most of their time observing, listening, and playing. This helps them learn faster, while adults have forgotten the importance of doing nothing and observing.
What conclusion does the speaker reach after meeting many people in a new environment?
-After meeting many people in a new environment over three weeks, the speaker feels that most of these people lack substance and depth. They note that most people just repeat opinions they’ve heard rather than developing original thoughts, and very few seem interested in self-improvement.
Why does the speaker feel miserable despite participating in activities that are typically considered fun?
-The speaker feels miserable because they focused on socializing with many people (volume) rather than forming deep, meaningful connections (depth). This contradicted their belief in prioritizing meaningful, substantial relationships.
Outlines
🤔 The Changing Definition of Friendship
The speaker reflects on how the term 'friend' has become overly generalized in today's society, leading to a loss of meaning. They describe their personal view of a friend as someone with whom you share deep connections, trust, and loyalty—someone you can rely on in difficult times. However, they note that many people today see friendships as shallow and transactional, without real substance. They recount a personal story of a former best friend, illustrating how friendships can fade quickly when one becomes irrelevant in another's life. This experience leads them to the conclusion that it is better to have a few devoted friends, or even to live in solitude, where personal growth is possible.
😐 The Value of Solitude and Reflection
In this paragraph, the speaker emphasizes the importance of solitude for personal growth. They argue that modern distractions—such as music, constant social interactions, and technology—prevent people from truly reflecting and observing their thoughts. The speaker points out that people rarely spend time alone without any distractions, a practice they believe is essential for mental clarity and improvement. They use the example of children, who learn quickly by observing and listening, to illustrate how modern adults have lost the ability to 'do nothing' and reflect. The speaker concludes that most people today lack depth and original thought, as they merely regurgitate the opinions fed to them through external influences, such as videos.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Friends
💡Solace
💡Relevance
💡Transactional Relationships
💡Mediocrity
💡Growth
💡Superficiality
💡Loneliness vs. Solitude
💡Observation
💡Depth
Highlights
The term 'friend' has become so generalized in today's society that it no longer has meaningful depth.
A true friend is someone with whom you share ideas, grow, live near, see often, and trust fully.
Friendships in modern society often feel transactional and superficial, lacking substance.
The speaker reflects on a close friendship that lasted three years but faded after their friend moved away.
The moment you stop being relevant to someone, they can forget you quickly, despite time and effort spent together.
You only need one or two devoted friends, and without them, it's more beneficial to live in solitude.
Growth happens in solitude, where you are alone with your mind, soul, and body.
People avoid solitude by filling their lives with distractions like music, social interactions, or constant scrolling.
Many people struggle to remember the last time they were truly alone with their thoughts, just observing.
Young children observe and learn through stillness and listening, something adults have forgotten how to do.
In solitude, the speaker found personal growth, improvement, and a level sense of happiness.
The speaker noticed that people around them lacked substance and depth, often repeating opinions fed to them.
The speaker regrets focusing on quantity of relationships rather than depth during their recent experiences.
In three weeks of meeting many people, the speaker only wants to continue relationships with two individuals.
The speaker concludes that while many people view socializing as fun, they found true contentment in solitude.
Transcripts
friends what are
friends are they people we meet and
share a couple Hobbies with are they
people we share a lifelong bond with
or are they just nothing are they just
everyone I
think in today's society friends as a
term has become so generalized that it
has has no meaning you can have a
hundred friends doesn't really mean
much
my connotation of what a friend is is a
lifelong
associate a person you share your ideas
with a person you grow with a person
that you live near see often a person
that you know
and a person that you can trust fully
that you can trust with your life that
you can trust to protect your family of
Hard Times
come what most people think of friends
as
is a
transactional superficial
relationship where that relationship
doesn't result in any substance let me
tell you a story about my former best
friend I met him around the fifth grade
but we really became friends in
2020 and we were friends for three years
best friends for three years we'd see
each other every day spend two to three
hours together working out hanging out
eating we laughed together and I thought
that we were going to be friends for the
rest of our lives I thought we were
going to college together we were going
to live together together we were going
to do everything
together but he moved away after a few
years
and now I haven't talked to him in two
months I have his number he has my
number we have so many different forms
of contacting each other
but we just
don't one thing I've learned in this
world especially in the modern world is
that the second stop being relevant to
someone the second you stop being
relevant in their lives they will forget
you like
this in a heartbeat all that time money
and effort you spent just
vanishes it just goes
away you only
need one friend or maybe two friends say
three but those friends have to be
completely devoted to you and you have
to be completely devoted to
them otherwise
it's much more beneficial to live in
Solace to
live with just yourself and your
thoughts and your
actions and why I say this is because in
Solace you can grow in Solace you are
left alone with your mind and your soul
and your body and you have to do
something you have
to become better you have
to I think growth only happens in
Solace the issue is that we stuff our
minds so much with nonsense either music
coming in from our earbuds or just
constantly having people around us
or scrolling that we don't have time to
be left alone and Solace when's the last
time you sat somewhere or laid down not
asleep not listening to anything not
doing anything just sitting alone with
your thoughts
observing I've asked this question to a
few different people
and all of their answers are that they
can't remember a time when they did
that if you look at kids right young
kids toddlers and babies all their time
is just spent observing listening
playing we've forgotten how to do
nothing and doing nothing is so
important that's why kids pick up
languages so fast because they're always
just listening and looking at
interactions another thing I've notic in
the nearly three weeks that I've been
here is that everyone is just so
mediocre they don't have any real
substance or depth to them at all they
just
regurgitate the opinions that are fed to
them by the videos that they listen to
they don't have any original thought
they don't care to observe and get
original thought from
experience they don't care to improve
themselves even if they say they are
this past summer I was essentially in
Solace I spent time
mostly only with my dad I didn't really
hang out with anyone I would spend time
reading watching videos
learning
observing making myself better in the
ways that I know how
to
and I was quite happy then and I don't
think I was happy in the way that you
would consider happy I wasn't ecstatic
or bubbly I I was mostly just level my
emotions were just
level I found pleasure in the work that
I did there were times
where I was
upset but after coming here after doing
what most people would consider very fun
I was miserable and I realized it was
because I had done what I hated I had
done what I advised others not to and
that was I focused on volume rather than
depth of all the people that I've met in
the past three weeks and it's been quite
a lot of
people I might want to continue a
relationship with maybe two of them
maybe
and it's sad honestly
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