8 Charts That Will Change The Way You See Dating
Summary
TLDRThe video explores how men and women perceive attractiveness on dating platforms like OKCupid, Match, and Tinder. It discusses differences in standards for casual hookups, the high importance of physical attractiveness for both genders, and how attractiveness correlates with online dating success. The video also delves into the effects of age, occupation, height, and neuroticism on dating and relationships. It concludes by highlighting the significant role of physical appearance and other factors like social status in shaping the modern dating landscape.
Takeaways
- 📊 Men perceive women's attractiveness following a bell curve, with the majority rating women as average (3 out of 5).
- 🚹 Only one in six men are considered above average by women, suggesting a skewed perception in dating standards.
- 🔍 The perception of male attractiveness by women varies significantly based on the context of the dating platform, becoming stricter for more casual encounters.
- 📚 Data from OK Cupid, Match.com, and Tinder reveal that women's standards for casual dating are higher compared to serious dating.
- 🤔 The study indicates that women's higher standards in casual dating might be a response to the additional risks they face in such scenarios.
- 💃 In speed dating settings, physical attractiveness is the most valued trait by women, with a strong correlation to positive responses.
- 💼 Men's social status, particularly their occupation, plays a significant role in their perceived attractiveness, independent of income.
- 🔝 The most attractive men on dating platforms are those in the top 5% of physical attractiveness, demonstrating an exponential effect on dating success.
- 👵 Men's and women's desirability peaks at different ages, with men consistently preferring younger women, while women's preferences shift slightly as they age.
- 🤝 Both men and women have similar preferences for height in potential partners, with both genders generally preferring partners of similar or greater height.
- 💔 Women initiate a majority of divorces, and this trend is consistent across different types of relationships, potentially linked to higher neuroticism in women.
Q & A
How do men perceive women's attractiveness according to the bell curve mentioned in the script?
-Men perceive women's attractiveness on a standard bell curve, with the average rating being 2.83 out of 5, and the most common rating being three.
What does the script suggest about the attractiveness standards of women on dating sites?
-The script suggests that women's standards for men increase as the dating site becomes more casual, indicating that higher standards are applied for casual intimacy.
What does the 'Dataclysm' book by Christian Rudder reveal about the differences in how men and women view each other's attractiveness?
-The book 'Dataclysm' summarizes data from OK Cupid, revealing that men and women have different perceptions of each other's attractiveness, with women's standards varying based on the nature of the dating site.
How does the script describe the correlation between physical attractiveness and the perceived attractiveness of a profile on online dating sites?
-The script describes a strong correlation between physical attractiveness and the perceived attractiveness of a profile on online dating sites, with a correlation coefficient of 0.92 from OK Cupid data.
What was the average distribution of points women assigned to different traits in the 2016 speed dating study mentioned in the script?
-In the 2016 speed dating study, women assigned points to six traits, giving all attributes near even value, indicating that they initially considered all traits to be of similar importance.
What did the actual distribution of points assigned by women during the speed dating event reveal about their preferences?
-The actual distribution of points assigned by women during the speed dating event revealed that physical attractiveness was by far the most important attribute, with a correlation coefficient of 0.801.
How does the script explain the exponential effect of attractiveness on online dating?
-The script explains that the effect of attractiveness on online dating is exponential, with the top 5% of men being seen as more than twice as desirable as a 90th percentile man, and each percentile making a bigger difference the closer one gets to the top.
What role does a man's social status play in his perceived attractiveness according to the 'what makes you click' study?
-According to the 'what makes you click' study, a man's social status, particularly his occupation, plays a significant role in his perceived attractiveness, with some industries boosting attractiveness more than others.
How do men's and women's preferences for age change as they get older, as described in the script?
-Men's preferences for age do not change much as they age, consistently being most interested in women aged 20 to 22. However, women's preferences do change, with older women starting to prefer dating men slightly younger than when they were younger.
What does the script suggest about the relationship between height preferences and gender in dating?
-The script suggests that both men and women prefer dating partners of similar height, with men preferring women shorter than themselves and women preferring men taller than themselves.
How does the script explain the high percentage of divorces initiated by women?
-The script explains the high percentage of divorces initiated by women by suggesting that women are more sensitive to negative emotions due to higher neuroticism, which makes them more likely to initiate divorce.
Outlines
📊 Perception of Attractiveness in Dating
This paragraph discusses how men and women perceive attractiveness differently in the context of dating. Men's perception of women's attractiveness follows a standard bell curve, with the average rating being 2.83 out of 5. In contrast, women's perception of men is skewed, with only one in six men considered above average. The paragraph introduces Christian Rudder, former CEO of OKCupid, who shared insights from the dating site's data. As the dating context becomes more casual, women's standards for attractiveness increase, which is rational given the additional risks women face in casual encounters. The importance of physical attractiveness is highlighted, with a study showing a strong correlation between physical attractiveness and positive responses in speed dating.
🔍 The Impact of Attractiveness and Social Status on Dating
The second paragraph delves into the exponential effect of physical attractiveness on online dating success. It reveals that the top 5% of men dominate in receiving matches and messages, being seen as more than twice as desirable as men in the 90th percentile. The paragraph also examines the role of social status, particularly occupation, in a man's perceived attractiveness. Some industries, despite high salaries, do not significantly boost a man's attractiveness, while others like firefighting and law enforcement do. The discussion also touches on the age factor in dating preferences, showing that men's preferences remain consistent across ages, favoring younger women, while women's preferences shift slightly as they age.
📈 Height Preferences and Divorce Statistics in Relationships
The final paragraph addresses height preferences in dating, indicating that both men and women prefer partners of similar height, with men preferring women shorter than themselves and vice versa. It also presents surprising statistics on divorce, suggesting that women initiate a majority of divorces and that this trend is consistent even in same-sex relationships. The paragraph concludes with a hypothesis that neuroticism, a personality trait associated with sensitivity to negative emotions, may be a significant factor influencing these divorce rates, as women are more likely to be neurotic and thus more likely to perceive and act on relationship issues.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Bell Curve
💡Attractiveness
💡OK Cupid
💡Dataclysm
💡Tinder
💡Correlation Coefficient
💡Physical Attractiveness
💡Social Status
💡Industry Attractiveness
💡Age and Desirability
💡Height Preferences
💡Neuroticism
Highlights
Men perceive women's attractiveness on a standard bell curve, with an average rating of 2.83 out of 5.
Only one in six men are considered above average by women, according to the data.
The perception of attractiveness varies by the context of dating, with higher standards for casual encounters.
Christian Rudder, former CEO of OK Cupid, released data insights into the dating market in his book 'Dataclysm'.
On Tinder, the curves of perceived attractiveness move further apart compared to OK Cupid.
Women's standards for casual intimacy are higher due to the additional risks they take on.
Physical attractiveness is the most important attribute for women in speed dating, with a correlation coefficient of 0.801.
The correlation between physical attractiveness and perceived profile attractiveness in online dating is 0.92.
The effect of attractiveness is exponential, with the top 5% of men dominating in online dating.
Social status, particularly occupation, significantly contributes to a man's perceived attractiveness.
Men's preferences for women's age remain consistent, being most interested in women aged 20 to 22.
Men receive the most attention from women between the ages of 25 to 30.
Both men and women's height preferences depend on their own height, with a preference for partners of similar height.
Women initiate 69% of divorces, and this percentage remains consistent in same-sex relationships.
Neuroticism, sensitivity to negative emotions, is hypothesized as a reason for the high divorce initiation rate by women.
Transcripts
This is a chart showing how men perceive women's attractiveness, looks pretty normal. Men tend to
perceive women's attractiveness on a standard bell curve. On the scale of 1 to 5 the average
is 2.83 with the most common rating being three. 8% are above the four and 17% below
a two. All pretty normal, and here is how women perceive men. Yeah, doesn't look so
good for men. Taking this at face value only one in six men are above average in an absolute sense,
and if we translate this plot to something more familiar like IQ, then we have a world where
women think 58% of men are brain damaged. When we dive a little deeper though it becomes clear
this isn't a men or too ugly to date thing, it's a men or too ugly to hook up with thing.
This is OK Cupid one of the biggest dating sites in the world and this is Christian Rudder the
former CEO of the platform. In 2009 looking to promote the platform Rudder and his team
began to release data from the site giving us an insight into what the dating market really looks
like behind closed doors. In 2014 he released the book dataclysm summarizing much of of the
data revealed by the site. Within the book Rudder displays the differences between how men and women
view each other's attractiveness on the site, but when asked about it in an interview promoting the
book and platform this is what he had to say. Tinder those curves move even further apart uh
match they move closer together. The male curve barely moves it's really the female curve that
moves around. The the men kind of have the same curve on all three sides and it's the
female curve that moves around. When OK Cupid was acquired by the match group in 2011 Rudder got
access to the rest of the match group's biggest platforms data. The two biggest of which at the
time Match.com and Tinder give us a lot of insight into what's really going on here. Although charts
or data were never posted we can estimate based on what Rudder said. This is an estimate of how
women perceive men on Match.com and this is an estimate of how women perceive men on Tinder.
We can see that for women as the dating site becomes more casual in nature the standards climb.
Although people like to push the narrative that women are delusional and have too high standards,
the data seems to say the relatively high standards are only for casual intimacy.
Which when you consider the additional risks women take on with intimacy the relatively high
standards seem reasonable. Essentially women are thinking if I'm going to take the risk of
a casual hookup he better be attractive. The next question is then "what makes someone attractive?"
To answer this question I'd like to bring forward a study from 2016 looking at what women look for
in a speed dating context. The study started by giving women a list of six traits and asking
them to assign points to each trait based on how important it was to them. The average
distribution of points the women provided looked like this. All attributes given near even value.
After completing the dates the women were asked to assign the points to the men at the dating event
then which men they were going to see again. This is the chart displaying the actual distribution
of what was seen as important by the women at the event. Physical attractiveness was by far the most
important attribute with the amount of positive responses and level of physical attractiveness
having an astonishingly large correlation coefficient of 0.801. For comparison the
correlation coefficient between IQ and academic performance is 0.54. Think about that for a
second. For those wondering online dating shows an even stronger correlation with the data from
OK Cupid showing a 0.92 correlation coefficient between physical attractiveness and the perceived
attractiveness of a profile. Confirming what a lot of men have recently begun to realize. Physical
attractiveness is just as important to women as it is for men, women just don't admit it. Another
thing I think most people aren't aware of is the effect of attractiveness is exponential. The 2011
study what makes people click mate preferences in online dating looked at various traits to see
what makes people attracted to each other. The study separated that 22,000 participants facial
attractiveness into deciles of attractiveness, with the top 10% getting separated into two
groups, giving the top 5% their own group. To no one's surprise the study found attractive
people were significantly more likely to receive messages and match requests, but the distribution
was eye opening. We see a steady climb in matches and messages as participants get more attractive
until we get to the top 5%. Miles above the rest the top 5% of men dominate in online dating,
seen as more than twice as desirable as a 90th percentile man. Data released from OK Cupid
tout similar if not even more telling results showing the exponential effects of physical
attractiveness. Each percentile makes a bigger and bigger difference the closer you get to the
top. I don't want the takeaway from this video to be that looks are the only thing that matter
because they're not another large contributor to a man's attractiveness is his social status. If we
look again at the 'what makes you click' study, we can see a large contributor to a man's perceived
attractiveness is his occupation. Regardless of a man's individual income the industry he worked
in had a large impact on if women attempted to match with him. This is a chart showing the
attractiveness of different Industries men in the study worked in and my fuzzy best estimates of the
average salary in those industries. As you can see there's a correlation between the average salary
in the industry and the attractiveness of it, but it's certainly not a one to one. Industries
like computer, engineering, science, government, politics, finance/accounting make a large amount
of money but don't give the men in them much of an attractiveness boost. Industries like fire
fighting, law enforcement, and military don't make a ton of money but give the men in them
large boost in their attractiveness. And over here less attractive than being unemployed are service,
hospitality, and labor. And up here in the corner the highest paid and most attractive career option
for men legal/attorney, maybe your parents were right about considering law school. Something I've
heard discussed a lot over the last few years is how men get better with age will women only
get less desirable, and while the former is true the latter isn't. This is a chart showing the age
at which men and women are most desirable to each other at every age. The thing that sticks out the
most is that men's preferences don't really change as they age always being the most interested in
women 20 to 22. I think we all knew that though, something I don't think most men realize is that
the prime demographic they're interested in 20 to 22-year-old women are are most interested in 21
to 25-year-old guys. That's your Peak guys it's not your early 30s and it's certainly not 38. It
is worth noting that as a man you'll receive the most attention from women in general between the
ages of 25 to 30. This essentially means men have two primes. A first Prime from the ages of 21 to
25 when Prime women 20 to 23 are most attracted to you, and a second Prime from ages 25 to 30,
when you'll get the most attention from women overall. I think it's also worth pointing out that
even women start wanting to date a little younger as they get older. Dating truly is a younger man's
game and despite men seeming to age better in women's eyes than women do in men's eyes Father
Time continues to stay undefeated. Now there's one more thing in the 'what makes you click'
study I want to show you. When reading through the study I found this. The researchers concluded
that both men and women's height preferences depend on their own height. Basically being
shorter than a woman will on average make you be seen as significantly less attractive than
a man of the same height as her, and in a whole another category than men taller than
her. I don't think this is too surprising, but here's something I think will be. Yes,
this is men's height preferences for women outside of being reversed, men prefer women shorter than
themselves, men's height preferences for for women are nearly identical to women's height preferences
for men. Which makes sense when you think about it. Would you want to date a girl 5 inches taller
than you? Women feel the same way about dating men shorter than them. Although men and women
think similar in regards to height one thing they don't think similar in regards to is divorce. A
commonly thrown around statistic is that women initiate 69% of divorces, but here's another
stat that makes it even crazier. If we look at the percentage of same-sex divorces that are male-male
versus female-female we see that female-female relationships are responsible for 78% of same-sex
divorces. Female-female marriages are more common than male male ones though a 55-45 split,
so we have to adjust for this. After we adjust for the differences in relationship commonality,
the relative split of same-sex divorces are 69% women, 31% men. Despite men and women not even
being involved in each other's relationships the divorce percentages remain the same.
Pretty unbelievable, right. The current common hypothesis is this is due to trait neuroticism.
Which measures one's sensitivity to negative emotions. If you take a random man and woman,
the woman will be more sensitive to negative emotion, more neurotic, 62% of the time. This is
why women are commonly seen as more emotional and volatile, both sub-characteristics of neuroticism.
What this means for divorce though, is that in 62% of relationships the woman will feel the problems
in the relationship more than the man will. Which explains a large portion of this seemingly
astonishing statistic. And there you have it. 8 charts that hopefully changed the way you see
dating and relationships. If you find this kind of stuff interesting subscribe to my newsletter
down below. It's free with no ads, and I go over concepts and charts like these every Thursday at
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