Put Yourself First, Not Last - How To Be Selfish So You Can Be Generous - Dan Lok
Summary
TLDRIn this motivational talk, Dan emphasizes the importance of 'strategic giving'—helping others in a way that benefits both parties. He explains that while it’s great to have a giving heart, it’s crucial to establish relationships that also positively impact your own business or life. Dan shares a personal story of helping Jay Conrad Levinson, father of Guerrilla Marketing, by writing a successful ad for him. This act of giving led to more business opportunities for Dan. He encourages focusing on building one or two key relationships rather than meeting as many people as possible.
Takeaways
- 🌍 You can't save the world if you can't save yourself first.
- ❤️ Many people love helping others but often don't get much in return.
- 🤝 The philosophy of helping others in hopes of good karma may not always work as expected.
- 🙌 Some people constantly help others but neglect their own needs and goals.
- 📝 Strategic giving is essential: focus on giving to people who can make a difference in your life or business.
- 💡 An example of strategic giving: offering help to someone influential, like Jay Conrad Levinson, without expecting immediate returns.
- 📈 By helping Jay, the speaker tripled his sales and built a valuable relationship, showing the power of targeted generosity.
- 🎯 You only need a few key relationships that truly matter for your business success, not a large quantity.
- ⚖️ The goal is to focus on quality over quantity in building relationships.
- 🗝️ Aim to walk away from networking with one or two key contacts who can significantly impact your business.
Q & A
What is the main lesson the speaker has learned?
-The speaker has learned that you can't save the world if you can't save yourself.
What issue do people who love helping others often face, according to the speaker?
-They often help others but end up not receiving much in return for their efforts.
What philosophy do some people follow when helping others?
-They believe that if you help enough people, good karma or something beneficial will come back to you.
What problem do 'nice entrepreneurs' often face according to the speaker?
-They help everyone around them but tend to neglect helping themselves.
What is the speaker's recommendation for overcoming this issue?
-The speaker recommends 'strategic giving,' which involves giving in a way that establishes meaningful relationships that positively impact one's business and life.
Can you provide an example of how the speaker used 'strategic giving' in their career?
-The speaker offered to write a better ad for Jay Conrad Levinson's Guerrilla Marketing Association without charging anything. This helped increase sales and built a strong relationship.
What was the outcome of the speaker's work for Jay Conrad Levinson?
-The ad tripled Jay’s sales, making him happy and willing to help the speaker by giving a testimonial and referring other business owners.
Did the speaker expect something in return for their help?
-No, the speaker wasn't expecting something in return, although it would have been nice. The focus was on the strategic nature of the giving.
What advice does the speaker give regarding building relationships at networking events?
-The speaker advises focusing on building one or two key relationships that will make a difference, rather than collecting many business cards.
What is the key takeaway regarding the quality of relationships?
-The speaker emphasizes that the quality of relationships is more important than the quantity, and that even just one or two strong connections can significantly impact your business.
Outlines
💡 The Importance of Self-Care in Helping Others
Dan begins by highlighting a crucial lesson: you can't save the world if you don't take care of yourself. Many people enjoy helping others, networking, and giving generously, but often feel unreciprocated. Dan asks the audience if they’ve experienced this and challenges the notion that good karma always brings returns. He mentions meeting many kind and generous entrepreneurs who help everyone but neglect themselves, urging a change in approach.
🎯 Introducing the Concept of Strategic Giving
Dan introduces the idea of 'strategic giving,' advising that giving should be done with the knowledge that it can positively impact one's business and life. He encourages the audience to take note of this key concept. Strategic giving means establishing relationships with people who can make a difference, instead of just giving to anyone without considering the potential benefits for personal growth or business advancement.
📝 Dan's Early Career as a Copywriter
Sharing a personal example, Dan recounts his early days as a copywriter, explaining that he wrote ads and marketing materials for clients despite not having much of a track record. He realized he needed to speed up his success by aligning with influential people who could help him build credibility faster. This led him to seek out opportunities for strategic giving.
📚 Collaborating with the Father of Guerrilla Marketing
Dan shares a story about how he approached Jay Conrad Levinson, the father of Guerrilla Marketing, to offer his copywriting skills. Dan offered to rewrite the ad for Jay’s Guerrilla Marketing Association for free, believing he could help improve sales. His gamble paid off when his copy tripled Jay’s membership sales, marking a turning point in Dan's career through this key strategic relationship.
🤝 Building a Mutually Beneficial Relationship
After successfully helping Jay increase sales, Dan explains how Jay wanted to return the favor. Dan asked for a testimonial and potential referrals, leveraging Jay’s massive network. This mutual benefit solidified a long-term relationship. Dan emphasizes that while he wasn't expecting anything in return, the strategic nature of his giving allowed him to establish a valuable connection that contributed significantly to his career.
📈 The Power of Quality Relationships Over Quantity
Dan closes by reinforcing that the goal isn't to collect as many contacts as possible, but rather to form one or two high-quality relationships that can genuinely impact one's business. He underscores that these key connections can be transformative, highlighting the importance of prioritizing quality over quantity when networking. This approach, he argues, leads to greater long-term success.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Strategic Giving
💡Self-Preservation
💡Networking
💡Guerrilla Marketing
💡Reciprocity
💡Business Relationships
💡Testimonial
💡Value Exchange
💡Track Record
💡Quality over Quantity
Highlights
You can't save the world if you can't save yourself.
Many people love helping others but don't receive much in return.
Helping others doesn't always lead to personal benefit, even if good karma is expected.
Some of the nicest people, always helping others, forget to help themselves.
The concept of 'strategic giving' involves giving to someone with the knowledge that it will also benefit your life or business.
Example: As a young copywriter, Dan offered to improve a membership ad for Jay Conrad Levinson without charging anything.
By improving Jay's sales letter, Dan helped triple the membership sales for Guerrilla Marketing Association.
Afterward, Dan asked Jay for a testimonial and referrals, which helped build his career.
Strategic giving does not guarantee a return, but it positions you to possibly receive something valuable in the future.
You only need to build relationships with a few key people who can make a difference in your business.
The focus should be on quality, not quantity, of relationships.
Instead of gathering many business cards, aim for one or two key connections that matter.
Dan's strategic giving to Jay opened doors for him to work with other business owners.
He emphasizes that it's possible Jay may not have given anything in return, but the giving was still strategic.
Building just one or two impactful relationships can be far more valuable than trying to help everyone.
Transcripts
(energetic rhythmic music)
- [Dan] There is one big lesson that I've learned
is that you can't save the world
if you can't save yourself.
Now how many of you have a
love helping people and you go there and you network
and you have this giving heart
and you just try to help everybody,
but at the end of the day
you just don't get a whole lot in return.
I mean how many have done that?
Okay, so you try to help people
and you kind of bind to the philosophy
if you help enough people good karma
something will come back to you right.
But how come 'cause I have met people
the nicest people you ever met
nicest entrepreneur you will ever meet.
They always helping other people.
Always trying to save the world.
You need something you ask and they are helping everybody
except themselves.
So what's the deal.
Well here's my recommendation.
And write this down.
It's called strategic giving.
Strategic giving.
You want to be giving to a person that
you know when you establish the relationship
that it's going to make a difference
in your business and in your life.
Let me give you an example,
when I was copywriter in my early 20's,
I was just trying to get clients
and in case you don't know a copywriter
I was writing ads for people.
Creating marketing pieces and campaigns.
And at the time I didn't have a lot of track record
and I had a few clients,
but I thought to myself
well I need to build some track record.
Who can I go to who will help me do that?
I would shorten the process.
So I found the father of Guerrilla Marketing.
How many of you have heard of Guerrilla Marketing?
Yeah Jay Conrad Levinson, right.
So he passed away a few years ago.
So I approached Jay
and at the time Jay had a membership
called Guerrilla Marketing Association online.
So I approach Jay
and I basically say hey Jay I look at your page
I think I can write a better ad for your membership
to help you sell more membership.
And I'm not gonna charge anything.
And I just want to help you out.
Okay he said sure he'd help me
and then I did that and helped him
and because he used my sells letter
my copy, it basically triple his sales.
So, is Jay happy? Yes.
And so then they were oh Jay
and you know Jay was asking
"what can I do for you young man"
I said Jay well you know if you don't mind,
if you like the work,
do you mind to give me a legal testimonial or
I know you've got so many
'cause Jay has sold over 20 million books worldwide.
I know you've got a massive database.
Maybe there are other business owners that need
ads and other marketing help,
can you refer them my way?
Sure, and that's how I started a relationship.
So, with that one strategic giving
I was giving.
Now would it be possible that even I
wrote the ad for Jay and at the end
he didn't do anything for me.
Would that be possible?
So, I wasn't expecting something.
It would be nice
but that's okay.
But it's strategic giving
that I know that this person who I am establishing a
relationship with that will make a difference.
And you only need two or three adults.
So my goal for you for this evening
is not for you to meet as many people as possible
to walk away with you know 20 or 30 business cards.
That's not the point.
My goal is for you to meet one.
To walk away with one or two key relationships
that will make a difference in your business.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
That's it. Just one or two.
So quality not quantity.
Quality.
(energetic rhythmic music)
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