Proud to call you my transgender son | Skip Pardee | TEDxReno

Summary

In this heartfelt TED Talk, a father shares the journey of his family, particularly his transgender son Dana, who transitioned at age 21. The talk explores the emotional challenges faced by transgender individuals and the critical role of family support. It emphasizes the importance of love and acceptance, as the family navigates societal perceptions and the personal growth of Dana, highlighting the resilience and strength of character that remain constant through transition.

Takeaways

• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker shares a personal story of his family's journey with his transgender son, Dana, emphasizing the importance of love and support.
• 🏳️‍🌈 Dana, born and raised as a female, transitioned to live as a male at the age of 21, highlighting the complexity of gender identity.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The family's initial reaction to Dana's revelation was one of acceptance and support, demonstrating the power of unconditional love.
• 📚 The speaker discusses the concept of 'gender spirit' to explain the internal conflict a transgender person may feel between their mind and physical body.
• 🔢 The script reveals startling statistics, such as 41% of transgender individuals attempting suicide at some point in their lives.
• 🤔 The cause of transgender identity remains unknown, despite various theories, indicating the need for ongoing research and understanding.
• 🏷️ The speaker clarifies the use of pronouns when referring to Dana's past and present, showing respect for Dana's current identity.
• 👶 The narrative emphasizes that transgender individuals are born with their identity, not choosing it, and that they have always felt a disconnect with their assigned gender.
• 🏋️‍♀️ Dana's story includes experiences of being mistaken for a male from a young age, and the challenges faced in sports and social settings.
• 🌟 The speaker recounts Dana's heroic act of saving a life at age 12, illustrating the character and strength of transgender individuals.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The family's story concludes with a call to action for parents to provide love and support to their transgender children, to prevent further suffering and potential tragedies.

Q & A

How long have the speaker and his wife been married?

The speaker and his wife have been married for 37 years.

What significant change occurred in the speaker's family four and a half years ago?

Four and a half years ago, the speaker's daughter Dana transitioned from living as a female to living as a male, identifying as a transgender person.

What was the speaker's initial reaction when Dana came out as transgender?

The speaker reassured Dana that they would still love and support her regardless of her gender identity, which was a relief to Dana.

What is the emotional conflict that transgender individuals often experience?

Transgender individuals often experience a constant emotional conflict between their gender identity (mind and spirit) and their physical body, which can be so powerful that it can potentially overpower the instinct for survival.

What is the statistic mentioned regarding suicide attempts among transgender people?

41% of transgender people attempt suicide at some point in their lives.

How does the speaker describe the process of using pronouns for Dana?

The speaker has a protocol where he uses 'she' or 'her' when referring to Dana's life before her transition and 'he' or 'him' after the transition.

What was Dana's experience like growing up, and how did others perceive her?

Dana, who was assigned female at birth, was often mistaken for a boy due to her appearance and interests. She was a tomboy and was very athletic, which was a source of confusion for others but also a saving grace for her.

What incident from Dana's childhood demonstrates her character?

When Dana was 12, she heroically saved a 7-year-old girl named Kendra from drowning at Lake Tahoe, showcasing her bravery and quick thinking.

What message does the speaker have for parents of transgender children?

The speaker urges parents to provide love and support to their transgender children, as their emotional well-being is crucial, and lack of support can lead to severe consequences such as suicide.

How has the family's relationship with Dana changed since her transition?

The family's relationship with Dana has grown closer since her transition, and they express the same level of love and pride for her as they did before, now embracing her as their son.

What is the speaker's hope for the impact of his TED talk?

The speaker hopes that his TED talk will inspire and give courage to transgender individuals and their families, potentially preventing suicides and family breakdowns.