Jordan Peterson - Side Effects of Telling Lies

Summary

The speaker uses the story of Pinocchio to explore the consequences of lying, emphasizing the complexity and complications that arise from dishonesty. They discuss the importance of truth-telling, especially in high-stress situations, and share personal anecdotes to illustrate the point that honesty can be a protective mechanism. The narrative also touches on the idea that nature, symbolized by the Blue Fairy, is forgiving, but there are limits to deception, even for the most charming of characters.

Takeaways

• 🌳 The script personifies Nature as the Blue Fairy, suggesting that nature is forgiving and understanding, especially towards children.
• 🤔 Pinocchio's naivety and moral ambiguity are highlighted as he lies instead of admitting his wrongdoings, reflecting his lack of self-awareness.
• 📏 The concept of honesty is emphasized through the metaphor of Pinocchio's growing nose, illustrating the complications that arise from dishonesty.
• 🗣️ The speaker shares a clinical perspective on the importance of truth-telling, especially in unpredictable or dangerous situations.
• ⚠️ Lying to paranoid individuals is cautioned against, as it can escalate tensions and lead to dire consequences due to their heightened vigilance.
• 🔍 The speaker advises to tell the truth minimally and carefully when in a difficult situation, as a form of self-preservation.
• 🛂 An airport incident is recounted to demonstrate the practical application of truth-telling in a tense scenario, underscoring its effectiveness.
• 🐉 The script likens the act of lying to the mythological hydra, where one lie begets multiple complications, leading to an uncontrollable situation.
• 😅 The downfall of politicians like Anthony Weiner is used as an example of how lies can spiral out of control, causing greater damage than the initial mistake.
• ⏳ The Blue Fairy's leniency towards Pinocchio serves as a reminder of the potential for forgiveness, but also the importance of learning from one's mistakes.

Q & A

What does the Blue Fairy represent in the context of the transcript?

In the transcript, the Blue Fairy represents Nature, who is portrayed as forgiving and understanding, especially towards children.

Why does Pinocchio lie to the Blue Fairy instead of telling the truth about his kidnapping?

Pinocchio lies to the Blue Fairy because he is naive and not fully aware of the consequences of his actions. He also lacks a clear understanding of his own intelligence and the intelligence of others.

What is the significance of Pinocchio's growing nose in the story?

Pinocchio's growing nose symbolizes the consequences of lying. It serves as a reminder that lies can lead to more complex situations and eventually become difficult to manage.

Who is Mark Twain, and what quote is attributed to him in the transcript?

Mark Twain, also known as Samuel Clemens, is a famous American writer. The quote attributed to him in the transcript is: 'One of the advantages to telling the truth, is that you don't have to remember what you said.'

What lesson does the speaker learn from being a clinician that is relevant to the story of Pinocchio?

The speaker learns as a clinician that telling the truth, even in difficult or dangerous situations, can be a protective mechanism and can sometimes save one's life.

Why is it dangerous to lie to someone who is paranoid, according to the transcript?

Lying to someone who is paranoid is dangerous because paranoia makes people hyper-vigilant. They are constantly watching for signs of deceit, and a lie can quickly escalate the situation.

What is the advice given for dealing with a potentially violent or intimidating situation?

In potentially violent or intimidating situations, the advice is to tell the truth minimally, avoid bravado, and follow instructions carefully to increase the chances of a peaceful resolution.

How does the speaker describe the process of lying and its consequences?

The speaker describes the process of lying as creating a 'hydra' of problems. Each lie can lead to multiple unexpected consequences, requiring more lies to cover them up, eventually leading to a 'Ball of Lies' that becomes painfully evident.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate the dangers of lying?

The speaker gives the example of a politician, Anthony Weiner, who initially made a mistake but then compounded it with more lies, leading to a scandal that could have potentially been avoided by telling the truth.

What does the Blue Fairy tell Pinocchio regarding his future behavior?

The Blue Fairy tells Pinocchio that while she is willing to forgive him this time, she cannot intervene on his behalf again, implying that he must learn from his mistakes and stop lying.

Outlines

00:00

🌳 Nature's Forgiveness and the Consequences of Lying

The speaker begins by discussing the role of 'Nature' as a forgiving entity, using the example of a mother's acceptance of her child's behavior. This is contrasted with the societal expectation that children should be truthful. The narrative shifts to the story of Pinocchio, where the character's naivety and lack of moral compass lead him to lie, resulting in his punishment, symbolized by the growth of his nose. The speaker reflects on the importance of honesty, citing Mark Twain's quote about the simplicity of truth-telling. They then share personal experiences as a clinician, emphasizing the value of truthfulness in unpredictable situations, especially when dealing with individuals who are paranoid or potentially violent. The speaker concludes by stressing that honesty can be a protective mechanism in dangerous circumstances.

05:02

🗣️ The Hydra of Lying and its Unintended Consequences

In the second paragraph, the speaker delves into the complexities and repercussions of lying, likening it to the mythological hydra where each lie spawns multiple complications. They use the example of children learning early on that a single lie can lead to a cascade of additional lies to cover up the initial untruth. The speaker humorously references the case of politician Anthony Weiner, illustrating how a single mistake can spiral into a major scandal due to attempts to conceal it. The narrative returns to Pinocchio, where the Blue Fairy, acknowledging his youth and naivety, offers him a chance to correct his ways but warns him against repeating his dishonest behavior. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of truth and the potential for forgiveness when mistakes are acknowledged and not compounded by further dishonesty.

Keywords

💡Nature

In the context of the video, 'Nature' is personified as the Blue Fairy, symbolizing the innate qualities and tendencies that are inherent in living beings. The speaker suggests that Nature, like a mother, is more forgiving towards children, providing them with opportunities to learn and grow. This is evident when the Blue Fairy appears and offers Pinocchio a chance to correct his ways, illustrating the theme of second chances and the capacity for change.

💡Naive

The term 'naive' is used to describe Pinocchio's character, indicating a lack of experience or wisdom. His naivety is highlighted when he fails to recognize the consequences of his actions and tells lies, which leads to his nose growing. This relates to the video's theme of the simplicity and innocence of children, and how their lack of understanding can lead to mistakes that have to be learned from.

💡Truthfulness

Truthfulness is a central concept in the video, as it contrasts with the act of lying. The speaker emphasizes the importance of telling the truth, as exemplified by the quote attributed to Mark Twain. In the narrative, Pinocchio's lies lead to his nose growing, symbolizing the complications and consequences that arise from dishonesty. The video uses this to underscore the value of honesty and its role in personal integrity.

💡Paranoia

Paranoia is mentioned in the context of dealing with individuals who are overly suspicious and potentially dangerous. The speaker advises against lying to paranoid individuals, as it can exacerbate their condition and lead to harmful outcomes. This concept is tied to the video's broader message about the importance of honesty, even in high-stress or dangerous situations.

💡Hyper-vigilance

Hyper-vigilance is described as a heightened state of alertness and watchfulness, often associated with paranoia. In the video, it is used to explain why lying to paranoid individuals is particularly risky, as they are extremely attentive to others' behavior and can easily detect deceit. This term helps to illustrate the video's point about the high stakes of honesty in certain social dynamics.

💡Consequences

The concept of 'consequences' is integral to the video's message, as it discusses the outcomes that follow actions, particularly lying. The speaker uses Pinocchio's growing nose as a metaphor for the escalating complications that result from dishonesty. This keyword ties into the broader theme of cause and effect, emphasizing that actions have predictable repercussions.

💡Intimidation

Intimidation is referenced in the context of dangerous situations where one might feel threatened or coerced. The speaker suggests that telling the truth can be a protective mechanism in such scenarios, as it can defuse tension and prevent escalation. This keyword is used to illustrate the practical applications of honesty in maintaining personal safety.

💡Lies

Lies are a recurring theme in the video, often contrasted with the truth. The speaker discusses how lies can multiply and become increasingly complex, leading to a 'Ball of Lies.' This concept is exemplified by Pinocchio's story, where his initial lie about a monster leads to further fabrications. The keyword 'lies' is central to the video's exploration of honesty and its impact on personal and social interactions.

💡Protection

Protection is mentioned in relation to the truth as a form of self-preservation in challenging circumstances. The speaker argues that being truthful can protect one from the negative outcomes of lying, such as the loss of trust or the escalation of conflicts. This keyword is integral to the video's advocacy for honesty as a means of safeguarding oneself.

💡Politicians

Politicians are used as an example to illustrate the consequences of lying and the subsequent attempts to cover up the truth. The speaker cites Anthony Weiner and Richard Nixon as cases where initial mistakes were compounded by dishonesty, leading to significant scandals. This keyword serves to highlight the video's message about the repercussions of dishonesty, even at the highest levels of public life.

Highlights

Nature is personified as the Blue Fairy, symbolizing a forgiving and nurturing force.

Children are inherently forgiven more readily due to biological and societal wiring.

Pinocchio's naivety and moral ambiguity are highlighted through his actions and decisions.

Pinocchio's intelligence is questioned as he fails to recognize his own and others' capabilities.

The significance of truth-telling is underscored by Pinocchio's lie leading to a physical manifestation of deceit.

A quote attributed to Mark Twain emphasizes the simplicity of truth over the complexity of lies.

The narrator's clinical experience teaches the value of honesty in unpredictable situations.

Deception can be dangerous, especially with individuals who are paranoid and hyper-vigilant.

The narrator shares a personal anecdote about the importance of truth-telling in a tense airport situation.

Lying is compared to a hydra, where one lie breeds multiple complications.

The downfall of politicians like Anthony Weiner is used as an example of the consequences of lying.

The Blue Fairy's leniency towards Pinocchio is contrasted with the harsher reality of political scandal.

The narrative suggests that initial honesty could have prevented escalation into scandal.

Pinocchio's lies grow into an 'elaborate series of lies', illustrating the snowball effect of dishonesty.

The Blue Fairy's warning to Pinocchio about the consequences of continued dishonesty.

Transcripts

...so the blue Fairy shows up, so that's Nature. So what I'm saying is, that Nature will cut kid's a break.

If you think of Nature and the guise of... well, their mother for example,

but even the biology of other people.

Because we're wired to accept behavior from children, that we wouldn't accept from other people.

So, Nature will forgive.

So she shows up, in her heavenly guise, and says:

"What's going on?", and Pinocchio...

Again - because he's naive, but also because he's not good.

He's not evil either. He's neither, or both, it depends on how you look at it.

And...

He also has no idea how smart he is and how smart he isn't, or how smart the person he's talking to is.

And uh...

Instead of admitting what he's done,

he lies about it.

And that's interesting, because it does suggest, that

he understands at some level, that he set himself up for this.

Because you know, he could just say- he could have just told the truth:

"This horrible Fox...

kidnapped me, and sold me to this slave holder."

Which is... true, it's a lot more true than the story he tells.

He tells a story about some monster.

You know, a fictional monster.

He could've told even ¾ of the truth and have it worked, but he doesn't, he just...

obscures the story entirely. And this is the part of the movie that people remember.

Um... and I'd edited this out for years, when I was talking about this movie.

[temporary stammer]

I forgot why it was so significant.

His nose grows, right? And...

It- it grows to ridiculous length.

And why is that?

[Freeze-frame from the 1940 "Pinocchio"]

I think it was Mark Twain,

[a.k.a.] Samuel Clemens, I think, who said:

"One of the advantages to telling the truth, is that you don't have to remember what you said."

And that- God, that's worth listening to, because...

*sigh*

So, there's a bunch of things I've learned as a clinician.

And one of them is, cause you're often in really weird situations with people, if you're a clinician.

Because things happen, that don't happen normally.

And you don't know what to do.

And so, what I've learned, is I just say what's happening.

Whatever it is, regardless of what it is, you know. I'll just try to describe it,

as accurately as I can, and not worry about - in some sense, not worry about the consequences.

You know, like I'm not going out of my way to cause trouble, but...

If you're in a really... And I'm telling you, this can save your life at times.

Especially if you're dealing with someone who's paranoid, who's really paranoid.

You do NOT lie to someone who's paranoid and violent.

Because as soon as you lie, you're aligned with the forces that are persecuting them.

And they're gonna be wa- because paranoia makes people hyper-vigilant, like they're on amphetamines.

In fact, you can make people paranoid by giving them enough amphetamines,

and you can make paranoid people MORE paranoid by giving them amphetamines.

So they're hyper-vigilant,

because they feel that everything is predatory and against them.

And so they're watching you, like you would not believe.

WAY more than you're watching them.

And if you flicker a lie while you're talking to them,

and they're really on the edge, you- you're done.

So it's one thing to really know, if you're ever in a really bad situation,

and you don't know what to do.

You tell the truth minimally. Don't disclose too much, that's just another lie.

You tell the truth minimally, and carefully, and hopefully.

And you MIGHT get out of it. You might get out of it,

but if you falsify it...

Look the hell out.

So...

The truth is a real mechanism of protection in dangerous situations.

You know, so if someone's trying to intimidate you, and you think

they might get violent, and they ask you if you're afraid,

then - you tell them,

that you're terrified and that you hope, that things will go okay.

Or you say...

*waves finger*

I'll give you an example.

One time I was in an airport, and uh...

We're in this lineup to fly back to Canada, that said "International Flights".

And so, it's a long lineup, like 50 people, and we got a-

I got about three from the front, there's still like 40 people behind me, and

the guy behind the counter decided, that he was just gonna shut down the line, and that we could all go

to this other line, which was like 300 people long!

And I suggested, that he... not do that, because we'd been standing there for half an hour,

and that he could just deal with the 20 of us that were left, and

and, like, have a clue.

So he called the sheriff, right away.

And this was down in Florida, and it wasn't that long after 9/11.

And so these guys came up, and they were armed! And they came and said...

Looked at me, because of course, he told them that I was causing trouble.

Which I wasn't. I was just trying to not...

let...

What would you say.

An arrogant, bureaucratic scum rat take advantage of me.

[laughter]

So... which is not the same as causing trouble.

So anyways, as soon as the cops came up, I said "Look,

I'm going to do exactly what you tell me to do, right now,

and I'm not gonna cause any trouble.

But I would like you to hear what actually happened."

And so, that's a good example of a situation like that. It's like,

if someone's got you,

no bravado, it's a very bad idea.

And I was going to do exactly what they told me, because you know...

They didn't know who I was. And I didn't know what they had been told.

So, anyhow...

The problem with lying, is that it's a hydra.

And kids find this out very early. Cause you tell one lie, and

what happens, is it has one of the consequences that you expect, maybe you get away with it.

But it has 3 or 4 others that you don't expect.

And so, it's like it grows some... some complexity.

Then you have to tack a lie on each of those little

"Complexity-O-crops", and then they grow three more complexities, and soon

this little lie turns into a great big Ball of Lies, and at some point it becomes

painfully evident to everyone.

And by that time, you're in such- You see this with politicians, like that guy who was sexting.

Um... [student] Anthony Wiener.

Anthony Weiner, yeah! Perfect name for him, man, it's so funny.

[giggle]

I shouldn't make that comment cause it's so obvious, but it's still funny.

[laughter]

But you know, he... That's exactly what happened to him, it's like...

It wasn't even so much the event. Because...

You know, people are stupid, they make mistakes.

And actually, the public is somewhat forgiving, if you say:

"Yeah jeez, I'm a real moron, and you know... Like really. Seriously. How could I do that?

But I did, and like... I'll try not to do it again."

But what happens with politicians, is...

(and I'm not speaking specifically of politicians), is they'll make an error,

and it gets exposed, and then they make three others trying to cover it up.

Happened with Nixon, for example.

And then the whole thing just turns into a complete scandal.

And maybe they could have got out of it at the beginning, by just - telling the truth.

It's like "Yes. I'm an idiot, you know.

I'll try not to do it again."

Well, that isn't what happens in this case, and Pinocchio

grows this elaborate series of lies, and

the Fairy is willing to be a little generous to him,

because he's little and cute, and he's still a puppet,

and she tells him... not to do that.

And that she's gonna give him a pass this time, but

that she isn't going to be able to intervene on his behalf again.