3 Easy Steps To Become A Cool Person (Explained With Science)

Summary

This video explains how to become a popular student by balancing fear and admiration. It presents three methods to make others fear you, such as excelling in sports or rejecting social invitations, and three ways to make people love you, including standing out through subtle style choices and building female social capital. The video emphasizes using techniques like personality differentiation and persuasion to earn both respect and friendship, helping students achieve a balanced reputation of being both loved and feared.

Takeaways

• ⚽ Use sports to build fear among peers: Participating in physically demanding sports can make others see you as tough and capable.
• 👊 Mild to severe sports create different levels of fear: Sports like basketball or weightlifting build strength, while combat sports like boxing or wrestling make you feared.
• 😎 Do what you want to build respect: Being disciplined and focused on your goals, like working out, will earn respect from peers and make you more attractive.
• 👋 Reactive attachment: Saying 'no' to hanging out because you're committed to your routine increases your desirability, especially among girls.
• 🧠 Use social rejection wisely: Debating controversial topics confidently can make others fear engaging with you, enhancing your reputation.
• 🎭 Personality differentiation: Stand out through subtle changes in your style, such as wearing a unique accessory, to attract more attention.
• 💼 Social capital: Building relationships with females can boost your popularity, and joining classes with a higher ratio of women can help.
• 📚 Choose the right classes strategically: Medical science, general education, and social science classes have higher female participation, increasing chances for friendships.
• 😊 Persuasion techniques: Use techniques like positive gossip, remembering names, and specific compliments to make others like you.
• 📝 Personalize conversations: Keeping track of details about people's hobbies and interests makes your interactions more engaging, leading to instant likability.

Q & A

What was the main focus of the research conducted by the University of Connecticut in 2019?

The research aimed to understand why certain kids in school were popular and why others weren't. It found that the most popular students were both loved and feared by their peers.

What is the perceived superiority effect, and how does it relate to sports?

The perceived superiority effect occurs when people spread rumors or highlight the skills of individuals to make them seem unbeatable, increasing fear and admiration. In sports, excelling in a sport can make others perceive you as superior, which can increase your popularity and make others fear you.

Which sports are categorized as 'mild,' 'moderate,' and 'severe' in terms of creating fear among students?

Mild sports include basketball and weightlifting, which increase physical reputation. Moderate sports include contact sports like American football and rugby, which make you appear tougher. Severe sports include combat sports like boxing and wrestling, which give you a reputation of being someone not to mess with.

How does reactive attachment make someone more attractive to others?

Reactive attachment refers to becoming more attractive by being less available or harder to get. By sticking to a disciplined routine, like going to the gym, and turning down social invitations, you can appear more determined and stand apart, making you more attractive.

How can practicing debate help create fear among other students?

Practicing debate helps you become better under pressure and more dominant in discussions. As you improve, others will start fearing being socially rejected or losing arguments when around you, increasing their fear of challenging you.

What is personality differentiation, and how can it help in becoming popular?

Personality differentiation involves making yourself stand out from others in subtle ways, such as through your style. By differentiating yourself with something unique but not overly flashy, like a stylish watch, you can become more approachable and popular.

How does social capital with female friends influence popularity?

Social capital with female friends refers to having a large circle of female acquaintances. Research shows that students with more female friends tend to be more popular. Joining classes that have a higher ratio of females, such as medical science or social science, can help increase female social capital.

What are the five persuasion techniques to make students love you?

The five persuasion techniques are: 1) Share positive gossip about others to boost both their and your reputation. 2) Use someone's name when greeting them and saying goodbye. 3) Compliment specific things they care about. 4) Remember and ask about important events they mention. 5) Take note of the hobbies and interests of popular students and ask about them.

Why is it important to balance being feared and loved to become a popular student?

Balancing fear and love is important because it creates a dual reputation where students respect your strength and discipline, but also enjoy your company. This balance makes you both intimidating and approachable, increasing your popularity.

What role does style play in becoming a popular student?

Style plays a role in personality differentiation, which makes you unique and approachable. A subtle yet distinct style, such as wearing a stylish accessory like a watch, helps elevate your status without drawing negative attention, making you more popular.