A pro wrestler's guide to confidence | Mike Kinney

TED
13 Nov 201713:28

Summary

TLDRIn this inspiring narrative, the speaker recounts his journey from a young boy captivated by professional wrestling to becoming 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw, a wrestler who found his unique identity. After the death of his father, he discovered the importance of authenticity in the ring, learned to amplify his own traits, and eventually earned a spot in WWE's Monday Night Raw. Despite retiring from wrestling, he carries the lessons of self-discovery and personal growth into fatherhood, encouraging his children to embrace their own unique talents.

Takeaways

  • 😀 The speaker grew up with a passion for professional wrestling, inspired by his father and the drama of the sport.
  • 🎭 At 16, the speaker's interest led him to help set up a wrestling ring and learn moves, despite the physical toll.
  • 🐊 He adopted the wrestling name 'Gator' and later 'Cowboy Gator Magraw', using his unique traits to stand out in the wrestling world.
  • 👕 He used his artistic skills to design his own wrestling costumes, reflecting his personality and comfort in his own skin.
  • 😂 Leveraging his natural humor, he decided to be an entertaining wrestler, focusing on making the audience laugh rather than intimidate.
  • 🤼‍♂️ The speaker's wrestling career included a stint with WWE, where he played a fake security guard, showcasing his versatility.
  • 🏆 Despite not wrestling in the WWE, the experience motivated him to push himself harder and become a more prominent figure in wrestling.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 After retiring from wrestling due to an injury and the birth of his first child, the speaker continued to embody the 'turned-up' version of himself in everyday life.
  • 👨‍👧‍👦 As a parent, he encourages his children to discover their unique talents and 'turn themselves up', just as he did in his wrestling career.
  • 🌟 The message is about self-discovery and embracing one's individuality, using personal strengths to achieve one's fullest potential.

Q & A

  • What was the speaker's childhood dream inspired by his father?

    -The speaker's childhood dream was inspired by watching professional wrestling with his father, and he wanted to become a world heavyweight champion like his favorite wrestlers on TV.

  • How did the speaker's father respond when he expressed his wrestling ambitions?

    -The speaker's father would usually smile and calmly say that he could count on his son to be his retirement fund, indicating a light-hearted support for his son's dreams.

  • What significant event led the speaker to start his wrestling journey?

    -The speaker started his wrestling journey when a small wrestling show came to his town in Minnesota, and he asked the wrestlers to teach him moves and help set up the ring.

  • How did the speaker's wrestling persona 'Gator' come to be?

    -The speaker's wrestling persona 'Gator' came to be when he needed a wrestling name at the last minute, and since 'Jesse The Body' Ventura was already taken, he chose 'Gator' because he had a giant poster of an alligator in his room.

  • What advice did an experienced wrestler give the speaker that changed his life?

    -The experienced wrestler advised the speaker that the best wrestlers are just themselves, but 'turned up,' meaning they should focus on their strongest traits and amplify them in the ring.

  • How did the speaker cope with his father's unexpected passing?

    -The speaker coped with his father's passing by returning to wrestling almost immediately, as it was something that belonged to him and his dad, and it helped him feel normal again.

  • What was the turning point for the speaker's wrestling career?

    -The turning point for the speaker's wrestling career was when he decided to amplify his own unique traits, such as wearing trunks as a big guy, designing his own costumes, and using his humor to entertain the audience.

  • How did the speaker's wrestling persona evolve into 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw?

    -The speaker's wrestling persona evolved into 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw by combining his desire to be a man's man like his dad, his admiration for the cowboy image, and the inspiration from country singer Tim McGraw's last name.

  • What was the significance of the WWE call for the speaker?

    -The call from the WWE was significant for the speaker as it was an opportunity to be part of Monday Night Raw, which was a dream come true and a validation of his hard work and dedication to wrestling.

  • Why did the speaker retire from professional wrestling?

    -The speaker retired from professional wrestling due to a bad shoulder injury that required surgery, and the desire to be present for the birth of his first child, wanting to be there for his family as a father.

  • What lesson does the speaker want to pass on to his children?

    -The speaker wants to teach his children to reach their fullest potential by turning themselves up, which means identifying their unique talents and amplifying them for the world to see.

Outlines

00:00

🤼‍♂️ The Wrestling Dream Begins

The speaker reminisces about his childhood, growing up watching professional wrestling with his father and idolizing wrestlers like Hulk Hogan. He describes his early attempts at wrestling in his living room, his father's calm response to his childhood ambitions, and the excitement of seeing a wrestling show come to his town. He shares his eagerness to learn from the wrestlers, despite the physical pain of their training, and his father's pride in his wrestling endeavors. The paragraph concludes with the tragic passing of his father, which deeply affected him but also motivated him to return to wrestling as a means to feel normal again.

05:03

🎭 Finding One's Wrestling Persona

The speaker reflects on the advice he received from a seasoned wrestler to be 'turned up' versions of himself, leading him to embrace his unique traits. He recounts his journey of self-discovery, deciding to wear trunks to showcase his comfort with his body, and using his artistic skills to design his own wrestling costumes. He also leverages his humor to differentiate himself in the ring, aiming to entertain rather than intimidate. The speaker's transformation into 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw is detailed, including the inspiration for his last name and his commitment to becoming a memorable wrestler. The narrative culminates with his call from the WWE, the pinnacle of wrestling organizations, and his realization that his unique persona was the key to his success.

10:05

🏆 Life Beyond the Ring

The speaker discusses his transition from professional wrestling after a shoulder injury and the birth of his first child, choosing to focus on family life. He emphasizes the enduring influence of his wrestling persona, 'Gator,' in his daily life and the support of his wife. He humorously notes the challenges of being a former wrestler and parent, such as controlling his instincts at his children's sports events. The speaker conveys a deeper understanding of his father's wishes for him, which were about reaching his potential rather than financial support. He shares his aspirations to guide his children in discovering and amplifying their unique talents, just as he did in wrestling. The paragraph concludes with an encouragement to the audience to look inward, embrace their true selves, and not be afraid to express their fullest potential.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Professional Wrestling

Professional wrestling is a form of sports entertainment that combines athletic moves with theatrical performances. It is a key theme in the video, as the speaker reminisces about growing up watching it with his father and eventually participating in it. The wrestling scenes described, such as body-slams and high-energy audience reactions, illustrate the excitement and spectacle of the sport.

💡Showmanship

Showmanship refers to the ability to entertain and engage an audience, often through dramatic or theatrical means. In the context of the video, showmanship is a crucial aspect of professional wrestling that the speaker admired and eventually embodied. It is exemplified by the flamboyant entrances and dramatic performances of the wrestlers.

💡Persona

A persona is a character or mask that an individual adopts, often in a performance context. The speaker discusses developing his wrestling persona, 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw, which involved creating a distinct look and character to connect with the audience. The persona is a vehicle for the wrestler's showmanship and is integral to their identity in the ring.

💡Apprenticeship

An apprenticeship is a period of learning a trade or skill through practical experience under the guidance of a skilled practitioner. The speaker describes his early wrestling experiences as a form of apprenticeship, where he learned the ropes and developed his skills by observing and practicing with more experienced wrestlers.

💡Retirement Fund

A retirement fund is a sum of money saved for the purpose of providing retirement income. In the video, the speaker's father jokingly refers to his son's wrestling career as his retirement fund, indicating his support and the potential financial success associated with a wrestling career.

💡Loss

Loss is the state of losing someone or something, often used in the context of death. The speaker recounts the profound loss of his father, which deeply affected him. This loss is a pivotal moment that drives him to find solace and a sense of normalcy in returning to wrestling.

💡Turning Up

Turning up, as used in the video, means to amplify or enhance one's personal traits to create a more impactful persona. The advice given to the speaker to be 'turned up' led him to focus on his unique qualities, such as comfort in his own skin and humor, to craft his wrestling character and ultimately find success.

💡Entertainment

Entertainment is the activity of providing amusement or enjoyment. The video emphasizes that, beyond the physical aspects, wrestling is fundamentally about entertainment. The speaker discovers that his strength lies in entertaining the audience, making him memorable and engaging.

💡Injury

An injury is damage to the body caused by physical means. The speaker mentions suffering a bad shoulder injury, which, coupled with the birth of his first child, led to his retirement from professional wrestling. This keyword highlights the physical risks and realities of a wrestling career.

💡Potential

Potential refers to the capacity to develop or succeed in the future. The speaker reflects on his father's desire for him to reach his fullest potential, not just in wrestling but in life. The concept of potential is central to the message of self-discovery and fulfillment presented in the video.

💡Parenthood

Parenthood is the state or experience of being a parent. The speaker discusses his transition into parenthood and the influence it had on his decision to retire from wrestling. Parenthood also becomes a new context in which he seeks to instill the values of self-discovery and personal growth in his children.

Highlights

The speaker, 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw, humorously describes his wrestling persona and the audience's enthusiastic response.

Gator's wrestling journey began as a child, inspired by watching professional wrestling with his father.

He recalls his father's influence and their shared love for the drama and athleticism of wrestling.

At 16, Gator's encounter with a local wrestling show sparked his ambition to become a wrestler.

Gator's first experiences with wrestling involved helping set up rings and learning moves, despite the physical challenges.

The death of Gator's father had a profound impact, leading him to seek solace and identity in wrestling.

A veteran wrestler's advice to be 'turned up' versions of oneself became a pivotal moment for Gator's career.

Gator's realization that he didn't have to conform to the typical wrestler image was a key turning point.

He decided to amplify his comfort with his body by wearing trunks, setting him apart in the wrestling scene.

Gator's talent for drawing led him to design unique, personalized wrestling costumes.

His humor and ability to entertain became central to his wrestling persona, distinguishing him from other performers.

The concept of 'Cowboy' Gator Magraw was born, combining his desire to embody a man's man with a cowboy theme.

Gator's hard work and persistence paid off with an invitation to join WWE's Monday Night Raw.

Despite not wrestling on his first WWE appearance, Gator's commitment to his character left a lasting impression.

Gator's wrestling career expanded, leading to more frequent matches across the United States.

A shoulder injury and the birth of his first child prompted Gator to retire from professional wrestling.

Gator's wrestling persona, though retired, continues to influence his life and how he encourages his children to discover their potential.

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-discovery and embracing one's unique talents.

Transcripts

play00:13

Picture it: a big, sweaty, tattooed man

play00:16

in a cowboy hat and chaps,

play00:18

is in the ring

play00:19

as the arena full of fans cheer him on.

play00:21

Their hero:

play00:23

"Cowboy" Gator Magraw.

play00:25

Gator bounces off the ropes and is quickly body-slammed to the mat.

play00:29

His wild opponent leaps into the air,

play00:31

crashing down onto Gator's rib cage.

play00:34

Gator struggles to breathe, wondering:

play00:37

"Is this really what my father wanted for me?"

play00:39

(Laughter)

play00:41

That wild man in the chaps ...

play00:44

was me.

play00:45

(Laughter)

play00:47

(Applause)

play00:48

(Cheers)

play00:57

And the answer to the question, surprisingly,

play01:00

is yes.

play01:01

(Laughter)

play01:03

I grew up watching professional wrestling

play01:05

with my dad.

play01:07

And like him, I loved everything about it:

play01:09

the showmanship, the athletic skill,

play01:11

the drama.

play01:13

I'd be this little boy, bouncing all over our living room,

play01:16

pretending to be my favorite wrestlers from TV.

play01:19

My dad actually reminded me a little bit of Hulk Hogan,

play01:22

but I was Hulk Hogan and he was Andre the Giant.

play01:24

I'd get all serious on him and say things like, "Dad ...

play01:27

someday I am going to be world heavyweight champion."

play01:32

And he would usually smile and very calmly say,

play01:36

"OK, then I guess I can count on you to be my retirement fund."

play01:40

(Laughter)

play01:42

When I was 16,

play01:43

a small wrestling show came to my little town in Minnesota.

play01:46

I couldn't believe it.

play01:47

Nothing like that had ever come to my town before.

play01:49

So I got to the arena early in the morning the day of the show,

play01:52

waiting out in the parking lot to see if I could spot some wrestlers

play01:56

pulling up in their cars.

play01:58

It wasn't as creepy as it sounds.

play02:01

But I could definitely tell who the wrestlers were,

play02:03

just the way they walked.

play02:04

They were tall and confident and intimidating,

play02:07

with their tank tops and Zubaz and fanny packs.

play02:10

Why wouldn't I want to be them?

play02:12

(Laughter)

play02:13

All I could think about was who are these people,

play02:16

and what are they like?

play02:17

How did they become wrestlers?

play02:20

So before the show started,

play02:21

I walked into this tiny arena --

play02:24

more like a gymnasium --

play02:25

and I asked them if I could help set up the wrestling ring.

play02:28

"Sure, kid. No problem."

play02:31

And then I pleaded with them to show me some wrestling moves.

play02:34

"Sure, kid. No problem."

play02:37

Man, they would just punch and kick me -- hard!

play02:39

But I never complained.

play02:41

They would come to my town for one night every couple of months that year,

play02:45

and then -- poof! -- next day, they were gone.

play02:47

By the next year,

play02:48

they finally told me about an actual wrestling training camp

play02:51

that one of the wrestlers was running,

play02:53

and I begged my parents to sign me up.

play02:55

Next thing I knew, I was a high school senior by day

play02:58

and wrestling in front of live audiences by night.

play03:01

I had this giant poster of an alligator hanging on my bedroom wall.

play03:04

So when I needed to come up with a wrestling name at the last minute

play03:08

and Jesse "The Body" Ventura was already taken --

play03:10

(Laughter)

play03:11

I went with "Gator."

play03:12

I also wrestled in a t-shirt and camouflage pants

play03:15

because that's what I had in my closet.

play03:18

I hadn't quite figured out how to develop my own persona yet,

play03:21

but I was learning.

play03:22

It was sort of like an apprenticeship.

play03:24

But I was a wrestler.

play03:25

And my dad would come to all my matches

play03:27

wearing a t-shirt that said, "Papa Gator" across the front.

play03:30

(Laughter)

play03:31

And he'd brag to his friends

play03:33

about how his son was going to pay for his retirement someday.

play03:36

(Laughter)

play03:37

And I would've.

play03:39

Not long after I started wrestling,

play03:41

my dad unexpectedly passed away.

play03:46

And as you can imagine,

play03:48

especially as a teenage boy,

play03:50

it destroyed me.

play03:54

If you've ever lost someone,

play03:56

you know what a difficult time that can be.

play03:58

Your mind -- it's not working right.

play04:01

The whole thing is just so surreal.

play04:05

I wanted to feel normal again, even if it was for just a second,

play04:08

so I went back to wrestling almost immediately.

play04:11

Wrestling belonged to me and my dad, you know?

play04:15

So there I was,

play04:16

sitting in the locker room,

play04:18

getting ready for a match within days of my dad passing away.

play04:22

He was gone.

play04:24

And sitting there alone --

play04:27

it felt like I was hiding.

play04:29

But it also felt like I needed to be there.

play04:33

One of the wrestlers who'd been on the scene a long time

play04:35

knew what I was going through,

play04:37

and he came over to see how I was holding up.

play04:39

I couldn't get the words out.

play04:41

I just said, "I don't know what I'm doing."

play04:45

And then we just sat there in silence --

play04:47

just ... silence.

play04:51

Before he got up to get ready for his own match,

play04:53

he gave me this piece of advice

play04:54

that would change the entire direction of my life.

play04:57

He told me the best wrestlers are just themselves, but "turned up."

play05:03

He said successful wrestlers find the traits within themselves

play05:06

they're the strongest at

play05:07

and make those the focus of who they become in the ring.

play05:11

So there I sat --

play05:13

a scared teenager who didn't know who he was

play05:15

or why he was even wrestling anymore.

play05:18

I looked around the locker room at some of the other wrestlers,

play05:21

and I thought,

play05:22

"I look so different. How can I ever be like them?"

play05:25

And then it hit me.

play05:27

That's the moment I realized I didn't have to be like them.

play05:31

What I did have to do was find out: What did it mean to be me?

play05:34

What made me unique,

play05:36

and how could I use it to my advantage?

play05:39

I knew I wasn't a chiseled athlete like some of these guys,

play05:41

but I really didn't care.

play05:43

So the first thing I thought was,

play05:44

"How can I amplify something as simple as: comfortable with my own body?"

play05:49

I didn't know.

play05:51

And then I thought:

play05:53

Speedo.

play05:54

(Laughter)

play05:57

(Applause)

play06:04

Or "trunks,"

play06:05

as we call them in wrestling.

play06:07

Yeah, trunks.

play06:09

I could be this big guy

play06:10

who was comfortable wearing these little trunks

play06:12

in front of a bunch of strangers.

play06:14

So I ditched the t-shirt and camouflage pants,

play06:16

and Gator's new wardrobe was born.

play06:18

(Laughter)

play06:19

I was also pretty good at drawing cartoons,

play06:21

so I wondered if I could turn that up.

play06:23

I could design my own wrestling costumes,

play06:26

so each pair of trunks would have its own unique design and color,

play06:29

all of them completely different --

play06:31

and extremely comfortable, by the way.

play06:33

(Laughter)

play06:35

And I was also the funny kid in school,

play06:37

believe it or not.

play06:39

So I thought maybe I could turn that up.

play06:41

Maybe I could go from the boy who made his buddies laugh

play06:45

to the man who could rally hundreds or thousands.

play06:48

So I committed to the idea

play06:50

that my character wasn't going to be as scary as some of the others.

play06:53

I'd be hilarious from the moment I walked into the arena.

play06:56

With every wrestling match, I dug deeper.

play06:59

I found out that I could laugh at myself.

play07:01

So this guy would dance and sing his entrance music

play07:03

all the way to the ring.

play07:05

That was dancing, by the way.

play07:06

(Laughter)

play07:08

I found out that I was an OK wrestler,

play07:09

but I was an even better entertainer.

play07:11

And turning myself up made me unforgettable to the fans.

play07:14

I was trying to find those things about me --

play07:17

the simple things that were special,

play07:18

and then ask, "How can I turn them up?"

play07:21

Now, I knew I wanted my character to be a man's man like my dad was.

play07:25

I thought, "What's more of a man's man than a cowboy?"

play07:30

And that's when Gator became "Cowboy" ... Gator ...

play07:35

Yeah, I needed a last name.

play07:37

I thought about it until my head hurt. I couldn't come up with anything.

play07:41

I'm sitting there watching TV one night, flipping through the channels,

play07:44

and this commercial comes on

play07:45

about a country singer who had just won an Entertainer of the Year award.

play07:49

Tim McGraw.

play07:50

He's a cool cowboy with a great last name.

play07:52

And I liked his music.

play07:53

It was just all part of my process.

play07:55

But I just kept turning myself up

play07:57

until I became Cowboy Gator Magraw!

play08:02

(Laughter)

play08:04

(Applause)

play08:10

And I knew that if I kept turning myself up

play08:13

and pushing myself harder,

play08:15

the opportunities would come.

play08:17

And then it finally happened.

play08:20

In the middle of the night,

play08:21

I got a phone call.

play08:24

It was the call I wish my dad was around to hear.

play08:28

The WWE,

play08:30

the biggest wrestling organization in the world,

play08:32

wanted me to come and be a part of Monday Night Raw.

play08:36

Yes -- all of my hard work and miles on the road were finally paying off.

play08:42

I got to walk down the WWE Raw entrance ramp on live television --

play08:47

(Laughter)

play08:49

dressed up as a fake security guard --

play08:51

(Laughter)

play08:52

to escort another wrestler to the ring.

play08:54

(Laughter)

play08:57

Sure, I was disappointed I didn't get to wrestle,

play08:59

but very few wrestlers get any kind of call from the WWE.

play09:02

Maybe one in a few hundred.

play09:05

And becoming Cowboy Gator Magraw is what got me there.

play09:08

So instead of walking away that day,

play09:11

I decided to turn myself up again

play09:13

and become the best security guard I could.

play09:16

In fact, I did it so well,

play09:17

I was the only guard to get a close-up on TV that night.

play09:21

That's a big deal, you know?

play09:23

(Laughter)

play09:26

And I got to sit backstage that entire day

play09:28

with some of the most famous pro wrestlers in the world,

play09:31

some of which were heroes of mine as a kid.

play09:33

And I got to listen to them and learn from them,

play09:36

and for that day,

play09:38

I was accepted as one of them.

play09:41

Maybe my experience with the WWE wasn't ideal.

play09:44

I mean, I didn't get to wrestle.

play09:46

But it made me work harder,

play09:49

turning myself up louder year after year.

play09:52

I was becoming the biggest version of myself in the ring,

play09:55

and other people took notice.

play09:57

Before I knew it,

play09:58

I'd gone from wrestling maybe once a month in Minnesota

play10:01

to as often as four times a week all over the United States

play10:04

on the independent wrestling circuit.

play10:06

I was literally living my dream.

play10:11

While wrestling over the next few years,

play10:13

I suffered a pretty bad shoulder injury

play10:15

right around the same time my wife and I found out

play10:17

that we were expecting our first child.

play10:19

I know what you're thinking,

play10:20

but believe me when I say those two events are completely unrelated.

play10:24

(Laughter)

play10:30

But I needed shoulder surgery,

play10:33

and I wanted to be home with my family.

play10:35

It was my turn to be a dad.

play10:38

So on July 27, 2007,

play10:41

I wrestled my final match,

play10:43

and walked away from professional wrestling

play10:45

to pursue the next chapter of my life.

play10:48

And as time passed,

play10:49

the strangest thing started to happen.

play10:51

I found out that once someone has been turned up,

play10:54

it's pretty hard to turn them down.

play10:57

I left the ring but Gator stayed with me,

play10:59

and I use the turned-up version of myself every day.

play11:02

My beautiful wife has been with me through this entire journey.

play11:05

And by the way -- she does not like pro wrestling.

play11:09

(Laughter)

play11:10

Like, at all.

play11:12

But she was always my biggest fan.

play11:14

She still is.

play11:16

She knows there's always going to be some part of Gator Magraw in here,

play11:20

and she wants our daughter and twin sons to discover themselves

play11:23

the way that I did,

play11:24

but probably with fewer body slams and steel chair shots to the head.

play11:27

I mean, do you know how many times she's had to remind me

play11:30

not to clothesline the referees at my kid's soccer games?

play11:33

(Laughter)

play11:34

I mean, it was just the one time,

play11:35

and my daughter was clearly fouled!

play11:37

(Laughter)

play11:40

As a parent now, I've begun to realize that my dad wanted something

play11:43

much more valuable than a retirement fund.

play11:46

Like most parents,

play11:47

he just wanted his kids to reach their fullest potential.

play11:50

I'm trying to teach my children

play11:52

that turning yourself up is just not some perfect idea of how to be great,

play11:56

it's a way of living --

play11:57

constantly looking for what makes you different

play12:00

and how you can amplify it for the world to see.

play12:02

And by the way, my kids don't like wrestling, either.

play12:05

(Laughter)

play12:06

But that's OK with me,

play12:08

because they each have their own unique talents that can be turned up

play12:11

just like the rest of us.

play12:12

My one son -- he's a whiz at electronics.

play12:15

So maybe helping him turn up makes him become the next Steve Jobs.

play12:20

My other son and my daughter -- they're great at art,

play12:22

so maybe helping them turn up their gifts

play12:24

helps them become the next Pablo Picasso.

play12:28

You never know what you have the ability to do

play12:30

until you dig.

play12:32

And don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

play12:34

I mean, look around.

play12:36

They say that if you get nervous in front of an audience,

play12:38

just imagine them in their underwear.

play12:40

But then I think, "Hey, I've wrestled in less."

play12:43

(Laughter)

play12:44

(Applause)

play12:53

Look, the wrestling circus doesn't need to come to your town

play12:56

before you get an invitation to be the real you --

play12:58

the bigger, more stunning version of yourself.

play13:01

It doesn't even necessarily come from our parents.

play13:03

Turning yourself up means looking inward toward our true selves

play13:07

and harnessing the voice that says,

play13:08

"Maybe, just maybe,

play13:11

I am more than I thought I was."

play13:13

Thank you.

play13:14

(Applause)

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