When pressured to marry don't do these things!

Summary

In today's episode of 'Real Talk with Da Podcast,' host Adida Emmanuel addresses the pressures of society on individuals to marry. Adida emphasizes the importance of making personal decisions about marriage without succumbing to external pressures, as it is a personal life choice with significant consequences. The podcast discusses the potential for pressured marriages to lead to divorce and encourages listeners to focus on their own plans, communicate with well-meaning friends and family, and maintain self-confidence in their decisions. Adida advises against rushing into marriage and highlights the financial implications of both marriage and divorce.

Takeaways

• 💡 Never marry out of pressure as it's a personal decision that impacts your life alone.
• 💸 Marriage and divorce are costly, avoid the cycle of rushing into marriage due to societal pressure.
• 🎶 The day after the wedding, you're alone with your spouse, so ensure it's the right choice for you.
• 👥 Don't let others' opinions or actions dictate your path; stay true to your own plans and desires.
• 🚫 Avoid succumbing to pressure that can lead to a wrong marriage, which is what you're trying to prevent.
• 🗣️ Communicate with those pressuring you, expressing your need to focus on other aspects of life.
• 💪 Maintain confidence in your decisions and don't let external pressure sway you from your path.
• 🤔 Pause and contemplate before making a marriage decision, it's not something to be rushed.
• 🏃‍♀️ Don't avoid social events or friends due to marriage pressure; face it with clarity and conviction.
• 🚫 Do not let the pressure to marry distract you from other important life goals like education or career.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the podcast episode?

The main topic of the podcast episode is about the things one should not do when pressured to marry.

Why does the podcast host emphasize that marriage is a personal decision?

The podcast host emphasizes that marriage is a personal decision because it is a significant life event that should not be influenced by external pressure, as it directly affects the individual's happiness and well-being.

What is the host's stance on the idea of marrying due to societal pressure?

The host is against marrying due to societal pressure, arguing that it can lead to an unhappy and potentially disastrous marriage and divorce.

Why does the host suggest that one should not let others dictate their life choices?

The host suggests that one should not let others dictate their life choices because each person is unique and has their own path, and making decisions based on pressure can lead to regret and dissatisfaction.

What does the host mean when they say 'the music fits you're going to have to dance to the tune'?

The host means that when the right circumstances or conditions for marriage present themselves, and one is ready and willing, that's when they should proceed, not because of external pressure.

What advice does the host give regarding biological clock and loneliness as pressure points?

The host advises that these are unnecessary pressures and that everyone has their own set of concerns; thus, there's no need to add to them by pressuring oneself or others.

Why is it important to listen to one's instincts when considering marriage, according to the host?

According to the host, it is important to listen to one's instincts because they often provide an intuitive sense of what is right or wrong for the individual, and ignoring them can lead to poor decisions.

What does the host suggest as a strategy for dealing with friends and family who pressure one to marry?

The host suggests communicating openly with those who pressure one to marry, expressing the desire to focus on other aspects of life and maintaining one's personal plan and goals.

Why does the host encourage maintaining focus on personal goals despite marriage pressure?

The host encourages maintaining focus on personal goals because these goals contribute to one's overall happiness and success, and deviating from them due to pressure can lead to unfulfillment.

What is the host's view on rushing into marriage due to pressure?

The host's view is that one should never rush into marriage due to pressure, as it can result in a wrong choice of partner and potential divorce, which are both costly and emotionally draining.

What final advice does the host give to those who are facing marriage pressure?

The host advises to be confident in one's decisions, not to lose focus on other aspects of life, and to remember that marriage is a significant commitment that should not be entered into lightly due to external pressure.

Outlines

00:00

💍 The Perils of Marrying Under Pressure

In the first paragraph, Adida Emmanuel addresses the issue of societal pressure to marry. He emphasizes that marriage is a personal decision and should not be influenced by external pressures. He points out that marriage is a significant financial commitment and that the consequences of a wrong choice can lead to divorce, which is equally costly. Adida advises listeners to be true to themselves and to communicate their stance to friends and family who might be pressuring them. He also encourages individuals to focus on their own plans and not let the pressure of marriage distract them from their personal goals. The paragraph concludes with a reminder that everyone has their own pace and path in life, and it's essential to stay confident and resolute in one's decisions regarding marriage.

05:03

🚫 Avoiding the Pressure to Marry

The second paragraph continues the discussion on the topic of marrying under pressure. Adida stresses that one should not rush into marriage and that it's crucial to reflect on personal life goals and desires. He suggests that avoiding social events due to the fear of being pressured about marriage is not the solution; instead, individuals should maintain their focus and not let the pressure dictate their life choices. Adida also cautions against neglecting other important aspects of life, such as education and career, in the pursuit of finding a spouse. The paragraph ends with a reminder of the high costs associated with both marriage and divorce, reinforcing the message that one should not succumb to pressure when it comes to making such a significant life decision.

Keywords

💡pressure to marry

The concept of 'pressure to marry' refers to the societal or familial expectations that compel an individual to enter into marriage, often irrespective of their personal readiness or desire. In the script, Adida Emmanuel emphasizes the negative impact of succumbing to such pressure, as it can lead to marrying the wrong person or entering a marriage without conviction, which can result in divorce.

💡marriage

Marriage is a legally and socially recognized union between two individuals. The video script discusses marriage as a significant life decision that should not be rushed into due to external pressures. It is portrayed as a lifelong commitment that requires mutual conviction and understanding between partners.

💡divorce

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage. The script uses the term to illustrate the potential consequence of marrying under pressure. It suggests that marrying for the wrong reasons can lead to unhappy unions and ultimately divorce, which is costly both emotionally and financially.

💡biological clock

The 'biological clock' is a culturally ingrained concept that suggests there is an optimal window of time for having children, often used to pressure women into marriage and parenthood. The script critiques this notion as a form of pressure that is unnecessary and should not dictate an individual's life choices.

💡instinct

Instinct refers to an innate, typically fixed pattern of behavior in response to certain stimuli. In the context of the video, Adida advises listeners to trust their instincts when it comes to marriage. If one's instinct tells them that marrying a particular person is not right, they should not ignore this gut feeling.

💡plan

A 'plan' in this context refers to a personal strategy or set of goals for one's life. The script encourages individuals to have their own plans and not let societal pressures derail them. It suggests focusing on personal aspirations such as education, career, or financial stability.

💡communication

Communication is the act of conveying or exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. The video script highlights the importance of communicating one's feelings and boundaries to friends and family who may be pressuring one to marry. It suggests open dialogue as a means to manage such pressures.

💡focus

Focus refers to the act of concentrating one's attention on a particular object or activity. The script advises against losing focus on other aspects of life due to the pressure to marry. It encourages individuals to continue pursuing their education, career, and personal growth.

💡self-love

Self-love is the practice of appreciating and caring for oneself. The video script stresses the importance of self-love and being happy with oneself, suggesting that this is crucial in resisting pressures to marry and in making sound decisions about one's life.

💡willpower

Willpower refers to the ability to control one's impulses and make decisions based on logic and reason, rather than emotions or external pressures. The script mentions willpower as a key factor in resisting the pressure to marry and making decisions that align with one's personal convictions.

💡contemplation

Contemplation is the act of thinking deeply about something. The video script encourages contemplation before making a decision about marriage. It suggests taking the time to reflect on what one truly wants from life, rather than rushing into marriage due to external pressures.

Highlights

Marriage should not be rushed due to societal pressure as it can lead to divorce.

It's important to dance to the tune of your own life, not someone else's expectations.

The pressure to marry can come from well-intentioned friends and family.

Biological clock and fear of dying alone are common pressures that are unnecessary.

Everyone has personal struggles, so there's no need to add pressure on others or oneself.

Marriage should be a mutual decision between both partners, not forced by external pressure.

Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it probably is.

Have your own plan and don't let pressure divert you from your goals.

Communicate with those pressuring you and set boundaries.

Being confident in your decisions is crucial, especially when it comes to marriage.

Strong willpower can lead you to better outcomes than succumbing to pressure.

Marriage is not a race; take the time to contemplate what you truly want.

Avoid running away from social events due to pressure; face them with confidence.

Don't let the pressure of marriage distract you from other important life goals.

Live your life fully, and everything will fall into place as it should.

Remember that marriage and divorce are both expensive; avoid the latter by not rushing into the former.

Transcripts

hello and welcome to today's episode of

real talk with da podcast my name is

Adida Emmanuel you know me and I know

you always real so today's topic I'm not

going to take too long it's just going

to be talking about what are the things

you shouldn't do when you're pressured

to

marry I repeat what are those things you

shouldn't do while pressure to marry so

marriage is expensive right and so is

divorce so who would want to go through

that route I mean if you get married why

would you want to divorce so my point is

why would you want to make

pressure allow you to get married so

that's why today's topic is very

important call your friends that are

matur single call anybody that you think

needs to hear this and send it to them

and click like

so the first reason why you should never

C for pressure is because it is about

you it is your life it has to do with

you and you alone because when the music

fits you're going to have to dance to

the tune this thing about marriage is so

funny that all the paparazi actually

doesn't really end because if you have a

good marriage right but what if

something now happens because you C to

pressure and then you marry the wrong

person that day is a day that is for

everybody right but after that day the

Beauty and the very funny thing about

that night is that you guys are alone

and then everybody goes to their houses

and then they have moved on and they

have forgotten what they put you through

so there's no reason whatsoever for

anybody to be pressured or to fall for

the pressure because you can not

actually dictate what people do to you

but you can actually dictate how you

react to it so that's why I'm saying

never ever allow them or people yeah we

know that some of them have good

intention and stuff like that and then

they start but even in their good

intentions they talk about the

biological clock they talk about you

want to die lonely and stuff like that

these things are pressure that nobody

needs because the truth is everybody has

something that is that is bothering them

but it's just different

so why do we have to keep putting

pressure on ourselves or putting

pressure on people or allowing them to

put pressure on you because that's part

of your life you have not checked it or

take the take the um take the button so

that's one thing you should never do

remember a marriage can never happen

unless both partners are convinced right

so if you're not convinced and then they

pressurize you to marry the person

there's a problem and with women we

always have instincts but we just

somehow just don't even you know

recognize our Instinct if your instinct

probably tells you it's not okay then

it's really not okay it's really not

okay and with the guy too yeah I mean

you should also be careful because this

pressure it goes both ways now have your

own plan right decide what is best for

you you as in you when I say you I mean

why

you whatever it is that you want to do

whether you want to further your

education whether you want to look for a

better job whether you want to have

Financial stability concentrate on your

own plan and do not allow pressure to

make you deviate from him from it

distractions is what you really don't

need the next thing you want to do is

you want to communicate with friends and

family that are putting you under

pressure thank you is I know you love me

but you see can we focus on other things

there's no need to run away from parties

or run away from events of your cousin

that is getting married or your K you

know there's no need be yourself be in

your world be happy for yourself and

love yourself that's the most important

thing it could come out as okay she's

being you know

opinionated and stuff like that whatever

anybody can see anything but it is about

you and about the fact that it is what

you want you you of course you have an

ideal thing that you want and so you

will not allow anybody to put you under

pressure because at the end of the

day right I'm saying in English at the

end of the day you will carry your load

by yourself be confident if you have

decided that it's not yet time then

leave it that way and stick to it

because when you Buckle Under Pressure

it will take you nowhere a strong

willpower will definitely take you

somewhere then always pause and

contemplate marriage is not something

that you should rush into I said it

earlier when the day is done you just

sit down and think about what you want

from life you don't want to be pressured

you pressure can make you get into the

wrong marriage and that is exactly what

we're trying to avoid you see if a lot

of people have not been pressured to get

married probably would have fewer

divorces yeah because at the end of the

day when people get into married then

you start hearing something like I

didn't know you know I was put under

pressure and stuff like that hello never

ever allow pressure to make you get Mar

so I'm saying the things you should

never do is never ever run away from

parties run away from Friends run away

from people that are organizing parties

because okay because you're single no

face it Ed on and let them know what you

want never lose your focus as for the

disturbing you for marriage and then

because of that you leave other parts of

your life right other part of your life

that is supposed to be supposed to be

working on other part of your life like

maybe studying you know some people

actually fixate themselves on this

marriage so much so that once they

finish school they don't want to do

anything else all they want to do is now

searching and then they keep searching

going from one Church Hotel Club I don't

know different places just to find a man

then they now make it a missionary

case right you're supposed to live your

life everything will fall in place do

you believe it because everything works

together for good to them that love God

never ever allow pressure to get a hold

of you so much so you get into the wrong

marriage remember marriage is expensive

so is divorce that's where we stop today

for to see you again next episode my

name remains ATA like I said earlier on

and I'm just here minding my father's

business take care and bye for now

[Music]