ASMR~ Lord Farquaad does your Makeup 🏰
Summary
TLDRThe script presents a comical and chaotic narrative set in a fantastical world. The protagonist is courted by two 'big booty' contenders competing for his affection through a twerking duel. Amid the absurdity, familiar fairy tale characters like Shrek’s sister and the Muffin Man make appearances. The protagonist navigates the bizarre antics of these characters, including a 'secret admirer' letter, chaotic makeup sessions, and humorous misunderstandings. Themes of rivalry, humor, and parody drive the plot as the protagonist reflects on self-discovery and isolation, all wrapped in quirky, over-the-top dialogue and interactions.
Takeaways
- 😂 A twerking duel is proposed to determine who will win someone's love.
- 👑 Two characters, Muffin Man and Princess Platano, are competing for the affection of a lord.
- 🤔 Princess Platano is introduced as an eccentric character, with some spooky qualities.
- 😅 The Lord struggles with his feelings, finding Princess Platano's appearance intimidating but intriguing.
- 🎮 Pinocchio invites everyone to his Twitch stream, and the Lord is asked to be a special guest.
- 🍪 The Lord reminisces about his clubbing days and his brief encounter with Cinderella.
- 🎄 Christmas decorations and the Jonas Brothers' hand-painted gift are mentioned humorously.
- 💌 The Lord receives a humorous letter from a supposed secret admirer, filled with nonsensical threats.
- 🤣 A comical makeup session takes place, with the Lord commenting on the transformations.
- 🎤 Princess Platano reveals she writes her own music and performs a snippet of a love song.
Q & A
What is the main event or competition discussed in the script?
-The main event is a twerking duel between two 'big booty' individuals competing for the Lord's love.
Who are the two main competitors in the duel?
-The two main competitors are referred to as 'the Muffin Man' and 'Princess Platano,' both described humorously with exaggerated features.
What is the Lord’s reaction to Princess Platano’s appearance?
-The Lord comments that Princess Platano is 'quite spooky,' and despite acknowledging her plump rump, he expresses concern that her looks might frighten people.
What interaction occurs between the Lord and his assistant regarding Princess Platano?
-The assistant suggests the Lord should apologize to Princess Platano for his rude remarks, but the Lord refuses, saying he doesn’t chase after people.
What is the role of Pinocchio in the story?
-Pinocchio invites everyone, including the Lord, to join his Twitch stream, even requesting that the Lord be a special guest.
How does the Lord react to the invitation from Pinocchio?
-The Lord sarcastically asks if he can sign something to have Pinocchio banned from his stream instead.
What comedic misunderstanding occurs with the letter from Shrek?
-A letter, assumed to be from Shrek or the Lord’s 'uncle,' threatens the Lord to give back the swamp, or he will be turned into stew. The Lord doesn’t seem to take the threat seriously and questions what 'PS' in the letter means, jokingly guessing 'PlayStation.'
What humorous elements are introduced with references to other fairy tale characters?
-There are references to Cinderella, whose family supposedly makes her eat borscht, and to Rapunzel and her 'hairy' features, adding comedic twists to well-known fairy tale characters.
What happens during the makeup session with Princess Platano?
-Princess Platano is getting a makeover with exaggerated beauty tips, including the Lord joking about using too much makeup and referencing a 'Superman cape,' which the princess calls a cloak.
What is the final resolution of the duel or competition?
-In the end, the Lord cancels the duel, declaring that no one wins, and he will remain alone, ruling his town by himself.
Outlines
💃 Twerking Duel for Love
The speaker is preparing for a contest where two 'big booty baddies' will compete in a twerking duel to win their affection. The first contestant, referred to as 'the Muffin Man,' is introduced, followed by the second, who is described as 'Princess Platano.' However, the speaker criticizes her appearance, calling her spooky. After fumbling a chance to apologize, the speaker reflects on past mistakes, including interactions with 'Sleepy Token.'
🎄 Christmas Decorations and Clubbing Memories
The speaker discusses their castle decorations for Christmas, which includes a painting by the Jonas Brothers. As they reminisce about their clubbing days and meeting Cinderella, they describe various whimsical interactions with characters from fairy tales. The paragraph includes lighthearted commentary on clubbing memories, Cinderella's odd family dynamics, and a mysterious letter from 'Shrek' demanding the return of his swamp.
👑 Awkward Encounters and Failed Transformations
The speaker has an awkward encounter, recalling a previous match on Tinder, which led to someone standing them up. The speaker jokes about needing a full transformation and wig, while engaging in humorous banter about their appearance and struggles with relationships. The scene shifts toward the speaker feeling bitter about love and deciding to run the town alone, with no one winning the duel.
🎤 Singing and Life Advice
The speaker highlights their 'chiseled structure' and expresses reluctance to alter their appearance, fearing they will resemble Buzz Lightyear. They briefly sing a song they wrote and offer some advice about living authentically, dismissing the idea of true love. The scene concludes with a mix of humor and heartfelt advice, as the speaker encourages others to live their best life, ignoring haters and superficial relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Twerking Duel
💡Big Booty Baddy
💡Princess Platano
💡Muffin Man
💡Sleep Token
💡Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
💡Shrek's Sister
💡Twitch Stream
💡Christmas Decorations
💡Figgy Pudding
Highlights
Introduction of two characters competing in a twerking duel for the speaker's affection.
Introduction of the Muffin Man as the first 'big booty baddy' and humorous commentary on their competition.
Second competitor introduced as Princess Platano, with a mix of humor and playful banter.
Playful exchange about the Muffin Man and Princess Platano's appearance, with a focus on their physical traits.
Humorous dialogue about a misunderstanding involving Shrek and Princess Platano.
A competition is set to take place before sunset, furthering the rivalry between the two characters.
Comedic moment about cookies and the speaker’s attraction toward Rapunzel.
Discussion about the lack of Christmas decorations, leading to a humorous mention of the Jonas Brothers.
Introduction of a secret admirer’s letter, written in a comical and nonsensical style.
The secret admirer is revealed to be Shrek, with further humorous comments about the letter.
The speaker talks about makeup and a possible transformation, blending humor with playful vanity.
Playful banter about a twerking duel being called off, leaving the speaker to 'run the town alone.'
Comedic exchange about personal insecurities, with characters reflecting on their looks and personalities.
A musical moment, with Princess Platano singing a song she wrote, showcasing humor and self-expression.
The transcript ends with a playful farewell between the characters and the wish for living one’s best life.
Transcripts
you do me this I've got two big booty
budies that want to be my
queen
huzzah I say a twerking duel shall be
competed for my
love mirror mirror on the
wall show me the Buddies of course
our first big booty baddy
is the muffin
[Music]
[Applause]
man our next big booty B is about to
walk in right through those doors yes we
caught her taking a d behind your CLE my
Lord shorty so eager to meet
me already mark marking her territory I
see quick shall I change HS yes my Lord
yes you're so sexy it is
fail my Lord my Lord she has
arrived guess
who
hello there
oh who are
you
a you must be Shrek's sister how dare
you sh to my castle un no this is
Princess platano the other
bdy
wo is
me indeed she's got a plump rump but
goly she is quite
spooky princess
plat you are but a diamond in the
rough
I do fear your wicked looks May frighten
the people of D that's not very nice
where you going come back your outs the
Lord what the freak go
apologize no if she thinks I'm going to
run run run as fast as I can to her I'm
not I don't chase well you fumbled the
bag my Lord like you're honestly
mid yeah she's pretty swag and she
listens to sleep
token
hello
again sorry about
earlier that was the old me I'm a
changed man
now
didn't know you were also a sleepy token
lover
CU I would be lying if I told you
that I didn't wish that I could be your
man oh maybe make a good girl
B I've
got here ye here ye Pinocchio is involed
inviting all to join his twitch stream
he is live now is that all oh ins sign
here my Lord he wants you to be a
special guest on his stream of course
what can I sign to have him banned here
my Lord
mhm
there I shall help you get ready for the
twerking duel that will be set before
sunset today
this is still a competition
yes the Muffin Man actually doesn't seem
so bad now that I think of it three
cookies i' smash for a cookie
too damn here I thought Rapunzel was a
hairy girl winner winner chicken dinner
princess
BL you've put even my stubble to
shame I think I put too
much for
you oh you like my
castle got some decorations for
Christmas what decorations there's no
Christmas spirit in here at all
taste the freaking season to crack some
nuts okay there so it's
Christmas that's oh yes that was hand
painted by the Jonas Brothers you know
them yeah we're
friends that was an early Christmas
gift
[Music]
oh sorry would you like some
onance
gods
yeah that's right turn it
[Music]
up this song brings back so many
memories you know back for my clubing
[Music]
days yes that is where I met
Cinderella she caught my eye but only
for a
second
I don't know my sexy Puffs must have
intimidated her to come and talk to
[Music]
me her family makes her eat some
bosi wait you left your saato and her
sister's got like a big ass foot the end
call me a stalker but I do really keep
track of everybody who enters a D Lo
that's kind of creepy Jack and His Giant
asparagus that one about the
froggy this
[Music]
one there I shall start your makeup now
princess thank you so much for all your
help no no hug no hug got freshly
pierced
nips whatever it is the
cream Ginger hello
again the
cream something smells
delicious there you you got the goods
pass it on sure I got some popcorn in my
bag I think you're right is here I can
hear your horse now I don't hear
anything you better hurry he sounds
hungry no my horse doesn't sound like
that it sounds more like okay something
smells like something sus and I don't
know
what he you hear ye a letter has been
delivered from a secret admirer my Lord
ew I must take off my gloves for this
juicy juicy
read
wonder who it could be from Stacy gue
let's see Rose is a red violet so blue
my but are green and so is my poo give
me back me swamp or I will turn you into
stew PS I'd love to lick your
[Music]
BS what the freak does PS mean
PlayStation okay
just SC of this now please thank
you oh that silly letter was from your
brother Shrek I believe but I don't have
a brother oh must be your uncle then
he's mad because all the fairy tale
creatures are taking over his stinky
stinky
swamp I don't care as long as they are
far far away from my perfect town dck
good
tomorrow the fairies and I just made
some figgy
pudding everyone is welcome to join
us oh bring us some figgy ping oh bring
us some figgy
ping bring us some figgy
ping and bring it right
[Music]
e
[Music]
hallelu
I'm going to be honest you look so
familiar oh my god did I match with you
on tender oh my God I have these days
where I feel like being really really
nice but it's obviously an
accident I'm so sorry yeah actually I'm
not sorry you stood me up you said you
were too busy walking your pet goose I
was lies really it's true
[Music]
look well it seems your silly stupid
gase was much more important than I his
name is Christopher theii no one
asked
you're going to need the whole bottle
yeah for get the natural look you need a
whole new transformation you need a
whole new wig excuse me this is not a
wig I was blessed by my
mommy
got some Froggies here to blend this out
go on give one a little
Smo maybe if you're lucky you might
actually find someone who loves you not
yeah well no one's going to love you
with your Superman cape it's a
[Music]
clo
hope you know the duel is
off no one
wins yeah I will stay alone and run this
town
[Music]
alone
[Music]
consider this community service a simple
act of kindness I thought you were
different yeah well I thought you you
are a
princess you are a cold evil witch but
so are you I suppose we both
are let's be
besties this is really going to snatch
your
face my chiseled structure for example
no please I don't want to look like Buzz
Light
here let anyone steal your swag this
Christmas season oh haters got to
go
shush miror or I will shatter you with
my fist no need your looks alone would
Shatter
Me Anyways princess PL I heard you like
to sing oh yes and I write my own music
too give me a little sneak peek with you
I want you to be my lover not for winter
but also the summer I will always be
late for supper for
you how was
[Applause]
that
cheeks you can never have too
much blend it
out okay I know these are really big but
the look really good on
you you know what they say go big or go
home go
home
glue hold
still
yes
Merry
Christmas Che
bones but yeah girl go live your best
life live for you okay true love is a
waste of
time on the first day of Christmas my
true love gave to me too many
problems
Lippy a little bit
things let
good princess pla your ride is here well
best of luck to you I wish you well
not
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