4 Habits For Quiet Men That Make You Look Bad Ass

Summary

In this video, Tom Hardy's unique approach to confidence is explored. Despite social anxiety, he exudes charisma by embracing authenticity and not seeking universal approval. Hardy's willingness to polarize, be genuine in reactions, and prioritize his comfort over appearing flawless are highlighted. The video suggests that by accepting fear and imperfections, one can build genuine confidence. It concludes with a promotion for 'Charisma University,' a program aimed at enhancing social skills and confidence.

Takeaways

• 😌 Tom Hardy's charisma stems from his confidence, which is built on a few core mindsets rather than conventional body language advice.
• 🌟 Hardy is comfortable with polarizing opinions, understanding that not everyone will like him, which allows him to make a strong impression.
• 🗣️ Authentic reactions are key to Hardy's confidence; he reacts genuinely to people rather than trying to please everyone.
• 🤔 Hardy's willingness to show vulnerability, like admitting his fears and imperfections, paradoxically boosts his confidence and makes him more relatable.
• 🙅‍♂️ He doesn't shy away from being imperfect, often prioritizing honesty over appearing flawless, which people find attractive.
• 🍃 Hardy's comfort in his own skin is evident when he delays an interview to get more comfortable, showing that he values his own comfort.
• 🔑 Prioritizing personal comfort over seeking others' approval can lead to increased confidence and authenticity in social situations.
• 💬 Hardy's interviews show that he's not afraid to be himself, even if it means going against social norms, which draws people to him.
• 💌 The video suggests that to build confidence, one should focus on being authentic, comfortable, and not overly concerned with others' approval.
• 🔗 The script promotes a program called 'Charisma University' as a resource for those seeking to improve their social confidence and charisma.

Q & A

What is the key mindset that Tom Hardy has adopted to project confidence despite his social anxiety?

Tom Hardy has adopted a mindset of not trying to make the whole world like him, being willing to polarize, and being comfortable with the fact that some people won't like him.

How does Tom Hardy's attitude towards polarizing people contribute to his confidence?

Tom Hardy's attitude of being willing to polarize people allows him to make a strong impression rather than no impression, which in turn boosts his confidence.

What habit does the script suggest to help build confidence by getting used to polarizing people?

The script suggests allowing oneself to have authentic reactions to other people, which helps build confidence and get used to the idea of polarizing people.

How does Tom Hardy's approach to interviews reflect his confidence?

Tom Hardy's confidence is reflected in his wildly different reactions to interviewers based on how they act and what they ask him, showing that he is there to see if he likes them rather than trying to impress them.

What is the paradox that Tom Hardy embodies regarding his fear and confidence?

The paradox is that despite experiencing fear, Tom Hardy has learned to be confident while still experiencing some fear, showing that one can be confident and fearful at the same time.

Why does admitting one's imperfections help in building confidence?

Admitting imperfections helps build confidence because it shows authenticity, which people are drawn to, and it sends a message to oneself that they are good as they are without needing to hide parts of themselves.

How does Tom Hardy's approach to interviews differ from what most people do when they want to impress someone?

Unlike most people who may awkwardly laugh at bad jokes or pretend to be interested in a boring conversation to impress, Tom Hardy is authentic and reacts based on how he genuinely feels about the interaction.

What is the advice given for those who are nervous in social situations and want to appear flawless?

The advice is to stop trying to look flawless and instead be honest about one's fears or imperfections, as this authenticity is more appealing and helps in building self-confidence.

Why is prioritizing one's own comfort important for confidence according to the script?

Prioritizing one's own comfort is important for confidence because it shows that a person is not solely focused on getting others' approval, which can make them more genuine and less nervous in social situations.

What is the Charisma University program mentioned in the script and how does it help with confidence?

Charisma University is a program that helps individuals become more confident and charismatic by teaching them how to start conversations, hook people in the first few minutes, and build real connections. It includes a step-by-step guide and comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Tom Hardy's Unconventional Confidence

This paragraph discusses how Tom Hardy, despite having social anxiety, has developed a charismatic and confident persona. Hardy often defies conventional body language advice, such as slouching or fidgeting, yet he maintains a confident demeanor. The core of his confidence lies in his willingness to polarize and not seek universal approval. Hardy's authenticity is highlighted through his varied reactions to interviewers, showing that he values his comfort and personal opinions over impressing others. The paragraph suggests that by embracing polarizing, being authentic, and prioritizing personal comfort, one can project a strong and confident image.

05:02

🔍 The Power of Authenticity and Comfort

Paragraph 2 delves into the benefits of direct candor and prioritizing one's own comfort in social situations. It explains that admitting to imperfections can lead to authenticity, which draws people in, and that sharing these imperfections can build self-confidence. The paragraph contrasts the short-term ease of hiding flaws with the long-term damage to self-esteem that can result. It uses Tom Hardy's candid discussion of his personal struggles with addiction as an example of how to be open about one's challenges without shame. The narrative encourages starting with small revelations to build comfort and suggests that prioritizing personal comfort over others' approval can lead to a more confident and genuine social presence.

10:02

📈 Transforming Social Skills with Charisma University

The final paragraph shifts focus to the benefits of the Charisma University program, which aims to enhance social confidence and charisma. It shares testimonials from members who have experienced significant improvements in their social lives, relationships, and self-confidence after completing the course. The paragraph concludes with an invitation for viewers to join the program, highlighting its 60-day money-back guarantee as a sign of confidence in the program's effectiveness. The overall message is one of transformation and empowerment through learning and applying the skills taught by Charisma University.

Keywords

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is an intense fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people, leading to discomfort and self-consciousness. In the video, Tom Hardy's transformation from having social anxiety to exuding confidence is highlighted. The script mentions that despite growing up with social anxiety, Hardy has managed to project an image of confidence, which is a central theme of the video.

💡Charisma

Charisma refers to a compelling charm or attractiveness that can inspire devotion in others. The video discusses Hardy's charisma, which is unusual because he doesn't adhere to typical advice on body language or behavior. Instead, he displays confidence through a unique set of mindsets that make him popular and draw people towards him.

💡Polarize

To polarize means to cause to differ in opinion or feeling. The video script explains that Hardy is comfortable with the idea of polarizing people, meaning he doesn't seek universal approval and is willing to be liked or disliked. This mindset is exemplified when he says, 'I don't you love me or you hate me,' which illustrates his acceptance of differing opinions about himself.

💡Authentic Reactions

Authentic reactions are genuine responses to a situation or person, unfiltered by a desire to please or impress. The video emphasizes the importance of being authentic, as Hardy's confidence comes from reacting to people based on his true feelings rather than trying to make everyone like him. This is shown in his varied responses to interviewers, depending on their behavior and questions.

💡Confidence

Confidence is the belief in one's own abilities, qualities, and judgment. The video's central theme revolves around Hardy's confidence, which is portrayed as a result of his mindset and behavior. His confidence is described as an 'I don't give a' attitude, which is attractive and sets him apart from others.

💡Imperfections

Imperfections refer to flaws or errors in something that detracts from its quality or completeness. The video suggests that embracing one's imperfections can build confidence. Hardy is quoted as admitting his fears and vulnerabilities, which paradoxically contributes to his confidence and authenticity.

💡Addiction

Addiction is a compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. The script mentions Hardy's struggle with addiction, which he openly discusses as part of his personal narrative. His candidness about this aspect of his life is used as an example of how being open about one's imperfections can enhance confidence and relatability.

💡Control

Control refers to the power or authority to manage or direct. In the context of the video, Hardy's fear of not being in control is mentioned, which is a common human experience. His admission of this fear is used to illustrate how acknowledging and discussing fears can be a part of building confidence rather than hiding them.

💡Anticipation

Anticipation is the act of expecting or looking forward to something. The video script uses Hardy's example to discuss how fear of anticipation, such as waiting for something to go wrong, can be managed by being honest about one's feelings, which in turn can contribute to confidence.

💡Comfort

Comfort refers to a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. The video emphasizes the importance of prioritizing one's own comfort in social situations as a means to increase confidence. Hardy's example of eating during an interview to satisfy his hunger is given as a demonstration of how prioritizing personal comfort can project confidence.

Highlights

Tom Hardy has managed to project confidence despite having social anxiety, demonstrating an unusual charisma.

Hardy often slouches or fidgets, defying conventional body language advice, yet maintains a strong presence.

His confidence stems from a core mindset of not seeking universal approval, allowing him to polarize opinions.

Hardy's interview responses show he's comfortable with polarizing reactions, as seen in his 'bag of twiglets' analogy.

Authentic reactions to people, rather than seeking their approval, contribute to Hardy's confidence.

He encourages others to shift their internal dialogue from seeking approval to assessing their own comfort with others.

Hardy's candidness about his fears and imperfections paradoxically boosts his confidence and appeal.

His honesty in interviews, such as admitting to being a 'big softy,' contrasts with the typical image of a tough actor.

Hardy's approach to interviews is to be genuine rather than to impress, which endears him to audiences.

He suggests that admitting fears can lead to a more authentic and confident persona.

Hardy's comfort with his own imperfections is a strategy for building self-esteem and confidence.

He advises against pretending to be flawless, instead advocating for authenticity even when it reveals vulnerability.

Prioritizing personal comfort over fitting in can lead to a more confident and genuine social presence.

Hardy's example of eating during an interview illustrates his comfort with disregarding social norms for personal ease.

Confidence can be built by starting with small revelations about oneself and gradually sharing more as comfort grows.

Charisma University is mentioned as a program that can help individuals quickly master social confidence and charisma.

Testimonials from Charisma University members highlight improved social lives and increased confidence.

The program offers a 60-day money-back guarantee, indicating confidence in its effectiveness.

Transcripts

despite having social anxiety growing up

tom hardy has transformed himself into

someone that oozes confidence and is

incredibly popular tom's charisma is

unusual because he doesn't follow the

normal advice you might see on something

like a body language list he'll often

slouch or fidget in conversation doing

things you're quote unquote not supposed

to do

but tom has a few core mindsets you can

steal that will instantly make you more

confident in almost any social situation

these mindsets allow him to project a

confident i don't give a attitude

that draws people to him like to say a

few words

to your public

no

uh well tom i hope we can rebuild these

bridges

[Applause]

the first thing that helps tom go into

any conversation with confidence is that

he isn't trying to make the whole world

like him he's willing to polarize he's

accepted that some people won't like him

listen to him answer the interview

question what kind of snack would you be

you know sorry more of a twiglet how

about that a bag of twiglets you would

be a bag of a

it don't you you dude love me or you

hate me either way i'm a bag of twigs i

don't i don't know anyone

one minute this mindset frees you to

make a strong impression rather than no

impression tom you're the best

it wouldn't work out but i somehow wish

that you were my dad and you could give

me

thank you so much

that said getting comfortable polarizing

is a process one habit that will help

you get used to polarizing people and

just help you build more confidence is

to allow yourself to have authentic

reactions to other people the average

person's internal dialogue is i hope

this person likes me part of tom's

confidence comes from doing the opposite

he's there to see if he likes you you

can hear this in the wildly different

reactions he has to interviewers based

on how they act and what they ask him

compare tom in these next few clips to

see what that looks like you know the

reaction to venom when we first saw in

early promos was uh social media thought

he was sexually attractive that he was

hot i mean is that was that weird i mean

is it it's a weird question

no i'm just what is the question the

question why don't you ask that question

no yeah maybe that's not a good example

of camp you don't have to wear a

mouth will you

well you know only on if i feel like it

yeah

you could lie again i've never worn

again

i was wondering if you find it difficult

for celebrities to talk about their

sexuality i don't find it difficult for

celebrities to talk about their

sexuality

um are you asking me about my sexuality

um sure

why why

um thank you okay how'd you bulk up fat

a lot of fat and trickery

a lot of fat and trickery

they do that with me here on chatty man

[Applause]

i'm actually thinking

this is obvious be authentic and react

to people based on how they act

unfortunately while most people can do

this when they're with their friends

they lose that authenticity when they're

talking to someone they want to impress

i'm sure you've seen this before

suddenly they'll awkwardly laugh at bad

jokes pretend a boring conversation is a

little too fascinating and even smile

while being insulted or talked down to

that's what happens when your internal

dialogue is i really hope this person

likes me instead next time you have a

conversation that makes you nervous

purposefully shift that internal

dialogue to something like i'm excited

to see if i like them

you'll feel more confident once you stop

treating conversations like a one-sided

tryout if this seems daunting there's an

easier first step you can take to help

you build more confidence

stop trying to look flawless

watch this next clip as an example the

interviewer asks tom why he's always

playing dark psychotic characters tom

has the opportunity to come off as cool

or tough but listen to how he answers

instead does that come away from inside

you is that like a little dark little

tom in there that i think it's because i

know what frightens me do you mean and

actually i'm a big um my big softy and

uh and that's why i'm covered in tattoos

and everything is because i'm actually

quite i'm scared of everything

most people would hesitate to label

themselves as soft or scared but

ironically for a guy who says he got his

tattoos to try to put on a fake front

tom isn't fronting he freely admits his

fear

this is the weird paradox that you can

learn from tom his fear hasn't gone away

but he's learned to be confident while

still experiencing some fear here's

another example again notice how he

prioritizes being honest over trying to

appear flawless

what scares you everything

[Laughter]

everything not being in control not

knowing

anticipation like waiting for something

to go wrong

i'm an addict and alcoholic so i have my

ups and downs

direct candor admitting things most

people would try to hide has two good

outcomes for you one people will get the

sense that you're not trying to pretend

to be something you aren't and people

are drawn to that kind of authenticity

two if you make a habit of sharing your

imperfections you will slowly build more

and more confidence in yourself because

you're messaging to yourself that you

are good as you are you don't need to

hide parts of yourself to be acceptable

for other people

lying about your imperfections may feel

easier in the short term but it will

wreck your self-esteem because you're

telling yourself that you aren't good

enough

one thing to note this isn't about

unloading on people or forcing yourself

to bring this stuff up in each instance

tom is simply being honest when

answering a question that he's been

asked if you're concerned that this will

make people like you less don't worry

for most things people are just paying

off of you to decide how they'll feel

about something if you seem ashamed

they'll think it's shameful if it

doesn't seem like it's a big deal to you

it will be less of a big deal to them

if you're not quite sure how to do this

a good trick is to use the same tone of

voice you'd use to talk about what you

had for breakfast for example listen to

tom talk about where his addictions come

from and where do you think that came

from for you i don't know i don't know i

think

my my personal issues to do with you

know alcoholism or anything like that

it's indiscriminate i don't know if it's

nature or nurture or where it came from

it's just it just is and it's what i

have and i have to deal with it on a

daily basis and do you feel you're

winning

uh yeah today is a very very good day

for tommy hardy if this still seems

daunting to you start small you don't

have to start by talking about your

deepest insecurities start by sharing

small flaws or little funny embarrassing

stories you can expand what you're

comfortable revealing about yourself as

your confidence grows the next thing you

want to do to feel more confident is to

start prioritizing your own comfort

here's a quick example where tom delays

the start of an interview so he can get

more comfortable thank you he's such a

genius man

most anxious people go into social

situations trying not to attract

attention

so rather than taking actions to be

comfortable or to stand out in a

positive way you'll try to do what you

think you're supposed to do

ironically this mindset of blending in

and doing what everyone else does

actually makes you more nervous because

you're constantly asking yourself am i

doing this right

for another example you may remember tom

hardy had a small viral moment while

promoting the movie revenant he started

eating mid-interview while leonardo

dicaprio was trying to answer a question

of course the weather was always

something that was entirely

unpredictable you know 2015 was the

hottest year in recorded history so we

had weather shifts all the time that

complicated the entire uh production

some people loved this moment for

highlighting tom's i don't give a

attitude he was hungry so he ate

people are drawn to people who seem

confident in who they are

prioritizing your own comfort shows you

aren't focused solely on getting other

people's approval

now if you only saw a few seconds of it

you might think leo and the interviewer

were upset with tom for being rude but

it actually played out totally friendly

tom he's already snacking on the smoked

chocolate chips how are they what let me

try this is really good they're good

aren't they they taste like a campfire

yeah see

put those in there

yeah yeah see

not so bad

they do taste like a campfire

this is often the case when you're

nervous in social situations you have

these fears that rarely come true but

they hold you back from enjoying

yourself or forming new relationships

now whether you want to be confident

because you're looking for a new mentor

more friends or more dates there's

obviously a lot more to that than just

what we've covered so far you have to

know how to start a conversation hook

them in the first few minutes so that

they want to learn more about you and

then build a real connection so that

they want to see you again

if you'd like a step-by-step guide that

lays out how to quickly master those

skills you may like our program charisma

university it's the fastest way to

become confident and charismatic you can

read all the details in the link below

but i figure the strongest way to let

you know what it's all about is to let

the members speak for themselves so here

are a few things that charisma

university members have written in

this first one is from someone who says

their social life has transformed they

wrote i am significantly more confident

in all social situations the connection

i feel with strangers and close friends

and family alike have increased

dramatically i transitioned from someone

who never got asked to hang out

regularly to multiple people texting me

on a daily basis many people have openly

expressed their admiration for me and i

get a lot more positive attention i've

grown so much because of this course and

i cannot thank you enough

this next one comes from a guy who's

been making new relationships

before going through charisma university

i didn't know how to bring energy to a

group and i was terrible at meeting new

people

everything in my life has improved after

cu from loving myself and others more to

creating and developing amazing external

relationships there's so much more joy

in my life and cu has been a huge reason

for it

and this last one is from a guy who

joined after a breakup he says thank you

so much for charisma university i

thought that after completing this

course i'd become a smooth talker and be

able to take over a room what i didn't

realize is i'd get that and feel so

confident in myself i feel liberated

thank you for creating this course

if you want to join but you're not sure

if it's right for you you should know

that it comes with a 60-day money-back

guarantee that means you can get a full

refund for any reason at all it's 60

days even though the course is only 30

days because we want to make sure that

every single member truly feels like

they're getting massive value from the

course if you want to learn more you can

click the link on screen now or below in

the description we've got over 8 000

members go through this course and get a

ton out of it and i would love for you

to do the same

either way i hope you enjoyed this video

and i look forward to seeing you in the

next one