Extreme Qualities of Leaders Who Have "It" | Lead Like It Matters, Part 1

Summary

In this episode of the 'Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast', Craig explores the elusive 'it' factor in leaders and organizations, drawing on his book 'Lead Like It Matters'. He discusses the importance of embracing one's leadership extremes and the paradoxical qualities of effective leaders, such as being both optimistic and realistic, direct yet kind. Craig challenges listeners to assess their own leadership and to cultivate the qualities that make a significant impact.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Leaders who possess 'it', a certain quality that makes them stand out, are often the driving force behind organizations that also have 'it'.
• 📚 Craig Groeschel's book 'Lead Like It Matters' explores 7 principles for leadership that can be applied beyond church settings to any organization.
• 🤔 The concept of 'it' is elusive and not something that can be programmed or taught directly, but it can be 'caught' by being around others who have it.
• 🔍 Organizations and teams that have 'it' exhibit a unique vibe, vision, and momentum, which are often led by leaders who also embody these qualities.
• 💡 The book and podcast discuss the idea that 'it' is not a single quality but a combination of extreme and sometimes paradoxical leadership traits.
• 🛠️ Leaders who have 'it' are described as having extreme qualities, not being average but being excellent in a few key areas.
• 🧩 A leadership paradox is introduced as contradictory leadership qualities that, when combined, create a powerful impact.
• 🗣️ Two key paradoxes highlighted are being both optimistic and realistic, and being direct yet kind in communication.
• 🔑 Embracing one's leadership extremes is encouraged as a path to greatness, rather than striving for well-rounded mediocrity.
• ⏰ The importance of understanding and articulating the 'why' behind leadership actions is emphasized to inspire and motivate others.

Q & A

What is the main focus of the 'Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast'?

The main focus of the 'Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast' is to help leaders grow in their leadership skills, with the belief that everyone wins when the leader gets better.

How often is a new podcast episode released by the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast?

A new podcast episode is released on the first Thursday of each month.

What is the significance of the 'Leader Guide' mentioned in the podcast?

The 'Leader Guide' is a resource that provides additional content, tips, and questions for leaders to discuss with their teams, aimed at enhancing leadership growth.

What is the name of the book written by Craig Groeschel that is mentioned in the podcast?

The book written by Craig Groeschel that is mentioned in the podcast is called 'Lead Like It Matters: 7 Principles for a Church that Lasts'.

What is the central theme of the book 'Lead Like It Matters'?

The central theme of 'Lead Like It Matters' is exploring the extreme qualities of leaders who have 'it' and how these qualities can be developed and maintained to create a significant leadership impact.

What does Craig Groeschel mean by 'it' when referring to leaders or organizations?

By 'it', Craig Groeschel refers to an elusive quality that some leaders and organizations possess, which gives them a special vibe, vision, momentum, or impact that sets them apart.

How can one obtain the 'Leader Guide' mentioned in the podcast?

The 'Leader Guide' can be obtained by visiting life.church/leadershippodcast and subscribing to receive it with each new episode release.

What is the concept of 'leadership paradox' as introduced by Craig Groeschel?

A 'leadership paradox' is a term coined by Craig Groeschel to describe contradictory leadership qualities that, when combined, create a synergy of undeniable leadership impact.

What are some examples of leadership paradoxes mentioned by Craig Groeschel?

Examples of leadership paradoxes mentioned include being both confident and humble, driven yet healthy, focused and flexible, optimistic and realistic, direct yet kind, empowering and controlling, leading with urgency and patience, and being both frugal and abundant.

How does Craig Groeschel suggest developing optimism in leadership?

Craig Groeschel suggests developing optimism by training oneself to see problems as opportunities and by believing in the potential for a better outcome, even when faced with challenges.

What is the importance of being both direct and kind in communication according to the podcast?

Being both direct and kind in communication is important because it ensures clarity and understanding while also showing empathy and care for the feelings of others, leading to higher job satisfaction and lower turnover.

Outlines

00:00

🎙️ Introduction to 'Lead Like It Matters'

The speaker, Craig Groeschel, introduces the topic of leadership qualities that make a difference, referred to as 'it.' He discusses the importance of these qualities in both leaders and organizations. Craig invites listeners to the 'Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast,' emphasizing its monthly release schedule and the availability of a Leader Guide for additional resources. He encourages listeners to subscribe, rate, review, and share the podcast. Craig also highlights his book 'Lead Like It Matters: 7 Principles for a Church that Lasts,' which is an expanded version of his earlier work 'It.' He assures that the leadership principles in the book are transferable beyond church leadership. The book's proceeds are donated to help start more churches. Craig shares the story behind the book, which originated from observations and a case study of different church locations and their varying levels of success despite similar inputs.

05:02

🔍 The Elusive 'It' and Leadership Paradox

Craig delves into the concept of 'it,' an intangible quality that distinguishes exceptional leaders and organizations. He acknowledges the difficulty in defining 'it' but suggests that it is not a result of models, systems, or programs. 'It' is rare and can be killed by the wrong person, yet it is contagious. The speaker shares his research on leaders across industries who possess 'it,' revealing that these leaders exhibit extreme qualities that often seem to contradict each other. This phenomenon, which he terms a 'leadership paradox,' is where leaders display opposing yet synergistic qualities. Craig introduces the concept of leadership paradox and gives examples from his research, including Jesus' paradoxical nature as both fully God and fully man.

10:04

💡 The Eight Leadership Paradoxes

Craig outlines eight leadership paradoxes that he has identified through his research. He discusses the first three in detail: confidence and humility, drive and health, and focus and flexibility. These paradoxes are exemplified by leaders who are confident yet humble, driven yet maintain their health, and focused yet adaptable. The remaining paradoxes will be covered in future episodes. Craig emphasizes that these qualities are not just present but are extreme, contributing to the leaders' impact. He also mentions that the Leader Guide will provide more information on these paradoxes, encouraging listeners to access it for further insights.

15:06

🌟 Optimism and Realism in Leadership

Craig explores the first of the two paradoxes in depth: optimism and realism. He argues that leaders need to be optimistic to envision a better future, which is essential for inspiring followers. At the same time, they must be realistic to accurately assess current challenges and opportunities. He shares his personal journey towards developing optimism, transforming his natural tendency to focus on the negative into seeing problems as opportunities. Craig emphasizes the importance of problem-solving in leadership, stating that every business and ministry exists to solve problems. He encourages leaders to embrace optimism to believe in their capabilities and the potential for solutions, while also acknowledging and addressing real issues.

20:06

🗣️ Direct and Kind Communication

The second paradox discussed is the ability to communicate directly yet kindly. Craig argues that direct communication is essential for clarity and avoiding confusion within an organization. He contrasts direct communication with indirect styles, highlighting the importance of being clear, truthful, and detailed. Despite the need for directness, Craig also stresses the importance of kindness in leadership, which includes empathy and setting clear expectations. He dispels the myth that kindness equates to weakness, citing research that shows kindness leads to higher job satisfaction and lower turnover. Craig advises leaders to be both direct and kind, providing clear feedback and expectations to help team members grow and improve.

25:07

🚀 Embracing Leadership Extremes

In the conclusion, Craig summarizes the key points from the discussion, emphasizing the need for leaders to embrace their extremes and develop the qualities that come less naturally to them. He encourages leaders to fall in love with their 'why' and to lead with a deep sense of purpose. Craig also promotes his book 'Lead Like It Matters' as a resource for further development and invites listeners to engage with the Leader Guide for additional insights. He thanks the listeners for their commitment to leadership growth and teases upcoming content, including an interview with Tim Tebow and the continuation of the discussion on leadership paradoxes.

Keywords

💡Leadership

Leadership refers to the ability to guide and direct a group towards achieving a common goal. In the video's context, it is the central theme, with the host emphasizing the importance of leadership qualities in organizations. The script discusses how certain leadership traits can make an organization 'have it', suggesting a special quality that successful organizations possess.

💡Optimism

Optimism is a positive attitude towards life and a belief in a favorable outcome. The video underscores the significance of optimistic leaders who can envision and work towards a better future. It contrasts with the default emotion of fear that many leaders face, and it is presented as a necessary trait for those who 'have it'.

💡Realism

Realism in the video is depicted as an understanding and acceptance of the current situation, including the challenges and the need for practical solutions. It is paired with optimism to form a paradox, suggesting that effective leaders are both hopeful and grounded in reality, as illustrated by the quote from Walt Disney.

💡Paradox

A paradox, as used in the video, refers to a seemingly contradictory statement that may yet be true. The host introduces the concept of 'leadership paradox' to describe leaders who embody opposing qualities that, when combined, create a powerful leadership impact. This concept is central to explaining how leaders 'have it'.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In the script, it is mentioned as a crucial quality for leaders who are direct in their communication. The host argues that being kind and empathetic does not make a leader weak; rather, it is a strength that leads to higher job satisfaction and lower turnover.

💡Direct Communication

Direct communication is the act of expressing oneself in a clear, straightforward manner. The video emphasizes that leaders who 'have it' are direct in their communication, which is seen as a way to close the gap between confusion and clarity. It is contrasted with indirect communication, which can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of clarity.

💡Extremes

The term 'extremes' in the video refers to the idea that leaders who are great at what they do often excel in a few areas rather than being average in many. The host encourages leaders to embrace their extremes, suggesting that greatness is found in these areas of excellence rather than in being well-rounded.

💡Driven

Being driven implies having a strong motivation or ambition to achieve goals. In the video, driven leaders are contrasted with those who are healthy, suggesting a balance between strong work ethic and personal well-being. Driven leaders are seen as essential to achieving the organization's vision.

💡Humility

Humility is the quality of being modest and not thinking too highly of oneself. In the context of the video, humble leaders are those who are aware of their limitations and are willing to surround themselves with others who complement their strengths, which is a key aspect of the leadership paradox discussed.

💡Confidence

Confidence in the video is presented as a quality where leaders believe in their ability to lead effectively and make decisions. It is part of the first paradox introduced, where confident leaders also exhibit humility, knowing when to rely on others and acknowledging their own limitations.

💡Vision

Vision in the script refers to a clear picture of what the future will or could look like, particularly as it pertains to the goals of an organization. Leaders with 'it' are able to create and communicate a compelling vision that motivates and directs their team, as mentioned in the context of teams and organizations that 'have it'.

Highlights

Leadership qualities that create a special 'something' in organizations are often led by leaders who possess these qualities.

The 'something special' in organizations is not a result of a model or system but is elusive and contagious.

Leaders who possess 'it' often have extreme qualities that are great at a few things, not good at many.

Surprisingly, leaders with 'it' exhibit seemingly contradictory extreme qualities that coexist.

The concept of 'leadership paradox' is introduced, where opposing qualities synergize to create undeniable leadership impact.

Eight leadership paradoxes are identified in leaders who have 'it', with two discussed in this episode.

Optimism is necessary for leadership, as fear is a common default emotion for many leaders.

Problems are opportunities in disguise, and leaders should train themselves to see them as such.

Direct communication is crucial for clarity and should be embraced by leaders.

Kindness in leadership is not weakness; it leads to higher job satisfaction and lower turnover.

Leaders who have 'it' are both optimistic and realistic, seeing possibilities while acknowledging current realities.

Leadership effectiveness comes from embracing one's extremes rather than striving for well-roundedness.

The importance of understanding and communicating the 'why' behind leadership actions is emphasized.

A book titled 'Lead Like It Matters' is recommended for further insights on leadership.

The upcoming bonus episode promises to cover the remaining leadership paradoxes.

An interview with Tim Tebow discussing world-class leadership is teased for a future episode.

Transcripts

- When you look at different leaders,

you may think, some leaders have it and some don't.

Same with organizations.

When you look at an organization that has it,

that something special,

it's always led by a leader that has it.

What is it?

How do you get it?

How do you keep it?

In today's episode,

we're gonna look at the extreme qualities

of leaders that have it

as we learn how to Lead Like It Matters.

Hey, welcome to another episode

of the "Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast"

where we're passionate about helping you grow

in your leadership

because we know that everyone wins

when the leader gets better.

If you're new to our leadership community,

we drop a new podcast on the first Thursday of each month.

And I just wanna tell you,

subscribe wherever you consume the content.

Also, I promise you want to get the Leader Guide.

In the Leader Guide, we've got additional content.

We've got tips.

We've got questions that you can go over with your team.

How do you get it?

Well, go to life.church/leadershippodcast

and get the Leader Guide.

We'll send it to you every time we drop a new episode.

Now, if this content is helpful to you,

it's a real gift to me,

and I'm gonna work hard to bring valuable content.

If you could rate it or write a review

wherever you consume the content, that would be amazing.

Also, thank you so much to those of you

that are sharing on social media.

A shout out to a few of our loudest podcast

community members, Brittany Lee, and Nicole Potts-Gumble,

and Joseph Kellogg.

I see you out there.

Thank you for inviting others to be a part of our community.

If you do post, be sure and tag me,

and our team may repost you as well.

All right, let's go into some content.

In 2008, I wrote a book called, "It."

And I'm super excited to release a very revised

and very expanded version of the book called,

"Lead Like It Matters:

7 Principles for a Church that Lasts."

And the book is out now.

Available anywhere that books are sold.

This is a book on leadership.

And just to be super clear,

it's specifically on church leadership.

But what I wanna do is I wanna tell you

and give you a promise

that the leadership principles do transfer.

Honestly, I learn from business books all the time

and apply them to church leadership,

and leadership principles work wherever you lead well.

And so, I do wanna encourage you,

no matter what you lead,

I believe this book will help you grow in your leadership.

Buy a bunch of copies,

and I can tell you that

because it doesn't benefit me financially.

My family is very honored to donate 100% of the proceeds

to help start more churches.

And so, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy.

Buy them for your whole team,

and I believe it'll help you grow in your leadership.

The story behind the book.

This is really, really interesting to me,

and I'll tell you how it came about.

We had some observations that turned into a case study.

If you go back way back to the mid 2000s,

I lead a church along with a lot of great leaders

that oversee a church, but it's not just really a church,

it's actually a collection of churches

that still functions as one church.

So, back in the mid 2000s,

we had around seven or so different locations.

For context today, we have 43

as of the time of this recording.

When we had seven, what was fascinating

is that they were in very similar buildings.

The buildings were designed the same way.

If we blindfolded you and dropped you in one,

you wouldn't know where you were.

The worship style was exactly the same.

All of the staff members were hired

under the same processes.

They were trained in the same culture.

We had the same systems.

The volunteers were trained in the same way.

The teaching was exactly the same.

So we had almost the same inputs,

but the outcomes were shockingly different.

It was bizarre.

We would do the same things in the same way

in different locations,

and we'd have very, very different results.

And so, what happened is,

we would walk into one church and we'd say,

this place has it.

This buzz, this vibe, and the anticipation,

there's something special.

And then we'd walk into another church

with almost the exact same inputs and say,

this one doesn't have it.

We noticed the same thing on different teams

in our organizations.

We've got tons of different teams and different departments.

And you'd walk into one team meeting, and it'd be humming.

There'd be this sense of vision, direction, momentum.

And you say, this team has it.

And then you'd walk right across the hall

to an entirely different team.

And you'd say, where's the passion?

Where's the vision?

Where's the vibe?

Where's the camaraderie?

This team has it and this team doesn't.

If you think about this across any type of organizations,

you can name the churches, or the businesses,

or the nonprofits today that have it,

that something special.

You can also name the ones that had it and lost it,

and they're all around us.

So that raises the question, what is it?

And the answer is, I don't know exactly.

Like, you wrote a book on it and you don't know?

It's something that's kind of elusive

and I wanna try to unpack it for you.

What we know about it is this,

that it's not a model, it's not a system.

It's not the result of a program.

You can't program your way to it.

What's interesting is we studied it.

Is it's rare that one person can bring it,

but as you probably observed,

the wrong person can actually kill it.

It's something that can't really be taught.

I can't say here's the three steps to get it,

but it's something that can be caught.

When you're around it,

there's something contagious about it.

There's bad news and there's good news about it.

The bad news is, if you have it

or if your organization has it,

it doesn't mean that you're gonna keep it.

The good news is that if you don't have it, you can get it.

And I wanna try to help you get it in your organization

with some principles that I've learned

as we've studied this extensively over a period of years,

our biggest takeaway is this,

and I promise you, if you see a church that has it,

a business that has it, a school that has it,

a nonprofit that has it,

whatever, if you see any organization that has it,

it is always led by a leader that has it every single time.

Your organization is a reflection of leadership.

If your organization has it, that something special,

that vibe, that vision, that momentum,

the profitability, the ministry impact, whatever it is,

it's always led by a leader that has it.

Now, what I wanna do is I wanna give you in this episode

and the next episode,

exclusive content that is not found in the book.

So if you get the book, you're gonna get different content.

I'm gonna give you very fresh content

that I'm incredibly passionate about.

It is fresh off the presses.

Hot off the presses, I've been studying this.

I wanna tell you my research,

the findings that we discovered,

in studying the leaders who have it.

What we did is we looked across industries,

the leaders that have that something special

that moves the needle.

They've got respect, they've got integrity,

they've got momentum,

they've got consistent movement over time.

And we studied them to look for what are the qualities

that they had in common?

And part of what we discovered, we completely expected.

And part of what we discovered was very, very shocking

and honestly confusing.

So let me tell you what we did expect.

What was not confusing is that these leaders that have it,

they all have extreme qualities.

Meaning when you look at them,

they're not good at a lot of things,

they're great at a few things.

And these qualities are very, very extreme,

like almost annoyingly extremes at time.

And that's no surprise because we know

greatness is always found in the extremes.

Don't try to work away your extremes,

embrace them because that's where greatness is found.

That was not a surprise.

Here's what was shocking, very confusing,

is that these leaders that had it,

they had extreme qualities

that seemed to contradict one another.

They would have one extreme quality on one side,

and then, they would often have almost the exact

extreme opposite quality.

It was almost like extreme opposing qualities.

They'd be really, really,

really on one side with this quality

and then have almost this exact opposite

extreme quality on the other.

And I couldn't figure it out.

It bothered me.

It confused me.

I looked at it, I analyzed it,

and we saw it over, and over, and over, and over,

and over again.

Now, if you don't know,

besides teaching leadership,

my first calling is I'm a pastor.

And so, I went to look at the one that I talk about

when I'm preaching sermons, and that is Jesus.

And what I realized about Jesus is, guess what?

He's got some extremes.

And guess what else?

He has what appears to be very opposing extremes.

Think about it.

Jesus, according to scripture, is on one side,

He's fully God, that's an extreme.

And at the very same time, He's fully man.

Opposites and extremes, and they both coexist.

What is He?

He is the lion and He's the lamb.

Opposite extremes.

He's the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end.

His teachings were extreme.

He'd say things like,

"To find your life, you have to lose it."

"If you wanna be great, you serve."

And so, all of the sudden,

I recognized that sometimes those leaders that have it,

they have what I'd call a leadership paradox.

Here's my definition for leadership paradox.

You won't find this anywhere else.

I made it up.

What is a leadership paradox?

It's contradictory leadership qualities

that together create a synergy

of undeniable leadership impact.

Let me say it again 'cause it takes a minute

for this to sink in.

The leaders that have it,

they often have these apparently opposing extreme qualities.

It's a leadership paradox.

It's contradictory leadership qualities

that together create a synergy

of undeniable leadership impact.

As we looked at leaders,

what we did is we identified eight of these paradoxes,

and I'm gonna give you the eight now.

We're gonna talk about two today.

I'm gonna tell you where to find information

on some of the other ones.

And then in two weeks,

I'm gonna give you the final ones.

Here's what we discovered about the leaders that have it,

these paradoxes.

For one thing, on the extremes,

the leaders that have it, they are simultaneously

very, very confident.

And at the same time, they're humble.

There's confidence and there's humility.

A second paradox is that they're very, very, very driven,

strong work ethics, but they're also very, very healthy.

Another paradox, they are focused,

incredibly focused, and they're also very flexible.

It seemed like opposing, but they're both there.

We'll give you all of these in the Leader Guide,

so just please get that

and you don't have to take notes.

Pull over your card, number four is this,

the leaders that have it, they are both optimistic.

They see the possibilities, and they're realistic.

They tell the truth.

Another quality that we see in many of them,

not every leader has all of them,

but most of them have some of these qualities,

they're both direct, very, very direct

in their communication.

And yet, they're kind.

They have empathy.

Number six, these leaders,

and I can't wait to talk about this one

because it seems confusing and you may argue back,

but it's very true, they're both empowering.

They trust people.

They delegate like crazy, and they're controlling.

Isn't controlling a negative?

Not always.

They're both empowering and they're controlling.

What else are they?

Number seven is they lead with urgency.

They're urgent like crazy and they're patient.

They have both short-term urgency and long-term mindset.

And then finally, this isn't for all of them,

but many of them, especially founding leaders,

they're both frugal, like massively frugal,

and they're abundant.

They're gonna pinch pennies and they swing for the fence

and they have these apparently opposing qualities.

Now, a little bit of context.

I shared the first three,

and I'll give you a quick overview on them again,

at the Global Leadership Summit.

And that talk will play at about 1,400 sites

all through the year,

translated into 61 different languages.

So, that talk's gonna run.

After it runs its course,

we're gonna drop that content later on

on the "Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast."

If you do sign up for the Leader Guide,

I'll give you an overview of those three

that we're not covering today,

but a real quick summary of those three today would be this,

there is confidence and humility.

They're confident enough

to know how to maximize their strengths,

but they're humble enough to be keenly aware

of their weaknesses

so they surround themselves with the right people.

They're driven and they're healthy.

In other words, listen,

if you're not driven, you're never gonna get it.

But if you're not healthy, you're not gonna keep it.

They're focused and they're flexible.

What do we know about being focused?

The essence of great leadership

is actually choosing what not to do.

They're radically focused, and they're flexible.

The mission is fixed, but the methods do change over time.

Now, for the remainder of this episode,

we're gonna do a deep dive into two of the paradoxes,

and then we're gonna cover the other ones in a bonus episode

that drops two weeks from today.

So, let's dive into a couple of paradoxes in detail,

and you're gonna want to evaluate where do you stand

and what do you need to develop?

The leaders that have it,

they're both optimistic and they're realistic.

They have optimism and yet, they tell the truth.

I like what Walt Disney said.

Disney said, "I always like to look on the optimistic side

of life, but I'm realistic enough to know

that life is a complex matter."

Optimism and realism.

Let's start with optimism.

Now, why do you need optimism to have it?

Why does it matter so much?

The reason is because for many leaders,

fear is the dominant default emotion.

Let me say it again because you may identify with this.

For a lot of us, insecurity,

fear, worry is a dominant default emotion.

Think about it.

If you're awake at 2 in the morning,

you're probably not awake going,

how am I gonna manage my leadership blessings?

You know, how am I gonna seize all these opportunities?

Chances are if you're awake in the middle of the night,

you can't sleep because you're worried.

You're worried how the economy's gonna impact your business.

Or you're worried that you're not gonna measure up

or that your ideas aren't good.

Or you're worried that they're gonna know

that you don't know what you're doing, right?

To have it, a leader must be optimistic.

You wanna be able to see what's possible

when others don't see it.

And the challenges for many of us is,

many of us are not naturally optimistic.

For a lot of us as leaders,

it needs to be a developed trait.

And honestly, it is for me.

I'm not proud of this.

I don't like to admit it,

but I'm actually biased towards seeing the negative.

I tend to see what's wrong first.

And here's how I've developed optimism in my leadership,

and some of you, this need to be something you develop.

Anytime I see a potential problem,

my mind tends to race toward the negative.

Oh my gosh, this is bad.

Here's what's gonna go wrong or whatever.

And what I've done is I've trained myself to see problems

as opportunities.

Let me say it this way.

I tell our team all the time,

problems are opportunities in disguise.

I'll say it again.

Problems. What are they?

They're opportunities.

They're the potential to do something better,

and they're often in disguise.

And I wanna just say, this isn't some cute quote

that you're gonna tweet.

This is true to the core.

What is every business?

Every business is a solution to a problem.

That's what it is.

What is every ministry?

Every ministry exists to solve a problem.

Therefore, problems are opportunities

to see something great.

If you lose a staff member that's really good,

oh my gosh, this is horrible.

Actually, it can be an opportunity

to upgrade that staff member.

What do we do as leaders?

What's our title?

I did a couple of episodes on the podcast in the past.

I said that you are a CPS.

You're not just a CEO, or a CFO, or a CTO or a whatever O,

but you're a CPS.

You're a chief problem solver.

In fact, if you wanna dive into content on problem solving,

episode 66 and 68 go into great detail,

but here's a powerful thought.

The value you bring reflects the size

and the scope of the problems you solve.

Think about it.

How valuable are you in your organization,

in your nonprofit?

Well, the value you bring reflects the size

and the scope of the problems you solve.

So, if you wanna help more people, what do you do?

You solve more problems.

If you wanna make more money, what do you do?

You solve bigger problems.

And honestly, as leaders,

a lot of the problems we face are big ones.

For many organizations right now, revenue is down,

morale is low.

Church attendance might be shrinking.

You might have a troubled team member.

You might have a potential lawsuit.

Or you might have lost a big client.

With every problem, here's what we need to know.

There's always one of two wins.

Every problem, if you're optimistic,

there's always one of two wins.

There's always, number one, a solution to find.

Or number two, a lesson to learn.

Every single time, one of two wins.

We'll either figure it out

or we'll learn and get better as we go.

Fundamentally, most people want to follow a leader

who believes in a better tomorrow.

So, if you wanna have it,

you need to train yourself to believe that you're capable.

Your team is strong.

If anyone can make it work,

if anyone can find a way, you can.

Leaders that have it,

they're unshakably optimistic.

If you're not, you can train yourself to be so.

And they're simultaneously realistic.

They're optimistic.

And on the other side, they're extremely realistic.

These leaders, they're not so pie in the sky optimistic

that they failed to accurately gauge the current reality.

You've been around leaders like that, right?

No, they understand acutely that the market's gonna change,

culture changes, the economy changes,

people's needs change, their wants change,

their values change, technology changes.

And they understand that what is working now

won't work forever.

That's why leaders that have it do not ignore problems.

They don't disregard the trends.

They don't discount the competition.

They study, they know,

and they understand and tell the truth about the numbers.

And what they also do is they empower their leaders

with the freedom to communicate upwardly

to ensure that they're organizationally aware.

So, what do you need to be both optimistic and realistic?

Well, you need to embrace two truths about every problem.

Number one, you can't solve a problem

if you don't believe it can be solved.

You have to be optimistic.

Number two, you can't solve a problem

that you don't acknowledge exists.

You have to be realistic.

And that's why the leaders that have it,

they often have these two extreme

apparently opposing qualities

that working together,

create a synergy of leadership impact.

They're both optimistic and they're realistic, all right?

Let's deal with another paradox.

Are you ready?

Leaders that have it, they're also both very, very direct

in their communication.

Surprisingly direct, shockingly direct.

Like, I can't believe you just said that to me,

but they're not just direct, they're also kind.

Let's start with direct

because I'm sure that some of you have worked for a leader

or around a leader that kind of is not direct.

They beat around the bush.

Why is it that they don't speak directly?

Well, why aren't they to the point?

Well, honestly, some leaders are just afraid of conflict.

They're afraid you're not gonna like them.

Some, they just keep all the details in their head

and they don't share them plainly.

Some just don't communicate well.

But to be a leader that has it,

we have to learn to communicate clearly and directly.

And one of the clearest forms of communication

is just to say it like it is, to be direct and to the point.

What do we know about direct communication?

Direct communication closes the gap

between confusion and clarity.

So often, we have have organizational confusion

because we don't have direct communication.

Direct communication just says, this is what we're gonna do,

why we do it, how we do it,

who's gonna do it, when it's gonna be done.

It's very, very direct.

And that closes the gap between confusion and clarity.

Let's contrast direct communication

with indirect communication.

An indirect communicator often tells people

what they think that the people wanna hear.

Direct communicators, they don't do that.

They just say it like it is.

They tell the truth.

And telling the truth, we have to remember,

is very, very kind.

Indirect communicators, they're often non-committal.

You'll say, hey, can you do something?

And they'll say like, maybe, you know?

Perhaps.

I'm not sure.

I'll get back to you when they really mean no,

and that is very ineffective communication.

Direct communicators, they say what they mean.

They'll say, no, I can't do that.

No is a fair and a kind response.

In fact, I tell our leaders that a clear no

is kinder than a wishy-washy maybe.

Indirect communicators, they expect you to fill in the gaps.

And this has been one of my weaknesses

that I've had to work on.

It's in my head so I'll kind of say it

and expect you to figure it out.

No, no. I'm gonna be direct.

Direct communicators are detailed,

leaving very little to chance.

And you can learn to do that.

Leaders that have it, they're very, very direct.

They just say it.

If you're not doing a good job, they say it,

but they're not rude about it, they're also kind.

Now, anytime I talk about kindness in leadership,

I typically hear two push backs, and I wanna address those.

Number one people are gonna say,

well, if I'm kind, won't I come across as weak?

And lemme just say clearly,

kindness isn't weakness in leadership.

Kindness is always a strength.

In fact, research is fascinating.

Research shows that 90% of employees

say that empathetic leadership,

kindness, empathy, it leads to significantly higher

job satisfaction and lower turnover.

You want your people happier.

You want them more engaged.

You want them to stay.

You lead with direct communication

and with kindness and with empathy.

Now, the second pushback I'm gonna hear people say,

and they're sort of correct.

They're gonna say, well,

I know leaders that aren't kind that get all the results.

And I have to say, that's true.

We can look at all sorts of examples

of unkind, uncaring leaders that may get strong results,

for a while, but not forever.

If there's not empathy, if there's not kindness,

if you don't care about your people,

you're not gonna get results over time.

I say it all the time,

you'll never be a leader that people love to follow

if you aren't a leader who cares about people.

What is kindness in communication?

Well, it's talking in a nice tone.

It's being polite.

It's giving positive feedback.

Yes, yes, and yes.

But I want you to understand that kindness

is also setting clear expectations that's kind.

Kindness is giving truthful feedback

even when the feedback may be more helpful than positive.

Kindness is listening.

It's putting yourself into other people's shoes.

And here's the problem where it often breaks down.

Let's say you've got a team member that's struggling

and not doing well, here's what often happens.

You as a leader, that person frustrates you,

and so you're nice to them and you don't coach them,

and you don't say much, and you don't make suggestions.

And if you do, your suggestions aren't really clear

and the results aren't measurable.

And so, that team member continues to frustrate you

and you continue to be nice,

and you tolerate their bad behavior

until you finally can't take it

and you explode on them, or fire them, or whatever.

And what I wanna say is, that's not good leadership.

That's not kind.

Kindness is being direct and being empathetic

and telling them, things aren't going well.

You're not hitting the target.

And telling them very kindly, I wanna help you change

and here's how I'm gonna help you.

And then telling them here's what needs to happen

by such and such time.

And I hope you get there.

I'm gonna try to help you get there.

And if not, we're gonna need to make a change.

What is that?

That is direct and that is kind.

I like what my friend Dave Ramsey says, "Clarity is kind."

And here's what we know,

when we study the leaders that have it,

they often have these apparently opposing extreme qualities.

And one is that they're very, very direct

and they're very, very kind.

My question for you in your leadership is,

of these two paradoxes we talked about,

optimism and realism,

direct communication and kind communication,

which one do you need to develop?

And as you look at these opposing extremes

in all the paradoxes we talk about,

what's gonna be most common is that one of them

is going to be natural for all of us,

and one of them we typically need to develop.

And I would ask you this, which one do you need to develop?

Because you can't develop what you don't define.

Define it clearly, and then work on it.

Now, that's all we're gonna cover today.

We're gonna finish the other paradoxes in a bonus episode

that releases in two weeks from now.

Let's do a review.

All organizations that have it,

they're led by a leader that has it.

My question is, do you have it?

If you don't have it, do you want it?

If you want it, get the book.

I promise the book will help you in your leadership.

It's called, "Lead Like It Matters."

Available anywhere books are sold.

And a real simple piece of advice would be this,

any time you're leading,

dig deep into the why behind what you do.

Fall in love with the why.

This is why I'm here.

This is why this matters.

If you can fall in love with the why,

you can get others to join your what,

and then sell out to it.

Embrace your extremes.

And well, I really wanna encourage you,

so many people wanna be like, well-rounded.

I don't wanna be around well-rounded people.

I don't want leaders that are pretty good

at a lot of things.

I want some weird people.

I want some extremes.

Embrace your extremes and let it flow.

The bottom line is, you won't get it being safe,

you won't get it being comfortable,

you won't get it being complacent

because greatness is always found in the extremes.

And that's why I wanna say a big extreme thank you

for being a part of our leadership community.

You will want to get the Leader Guide, I promise.

There's information that's gonna help you.

And you can go through some developmental conversations

with your team.

Go to life.church/leadershippodcast.

Again, I'm gonna work hard to bring you good content.

And if you rate it,

write a review that helps increase exposure

or sharing on social media means a ton.

Now, we'll be back in two weeks

to cover the rest of the content on this subject.

And then, on the first Thursday of next month,

I'm gonna drop one of my favorite interviews that I've done

in the history of the podcast.

I spent a lot of time with Tim Tebow,

and we talked about things we've never covered on this.

And you wanna talk about world-class leadership

filled with integrity and wisdom.

That'll drop the first Thursday of next month.

Keep investing in your leadership, why?

Because we know that everyone wins

when the leader gets better.

(bright upbeat music)