My Daughter, Malala | Ziauddin Yousafzai | TED Talks

Summary

In this powerful speech, the father of Malala Yousafzai reflects on the patriarchal norms that oppress women and girls, detailing the injustices they face from birth. He proudly shares his own journey of supporting his daughter's education and activism, which led to her international recognition and the family's struggle against the Taliban. He emphasizes the importance of challenging societal norms and discriminatory laws to empower women and break the cycle of oppression.

Takeaways

• 👨‍👧 The speaker, Malala's father, takes pride in being known by his daughter, highlighting the importance of her achievements and challenging traditional patriarchal norms.
• 🌟 Malala Yousafzai began advocating for education and women's rights at a young age, gaining national and international recognition for her courage and activism.
• 📚 Education is a pivotal theme in the script, with the speaker emphasizing its transformative power and the significance of enrolling his daughter in school despite societal constraints.
• 🚫 The script describes the harsh realities faced by girls in patriarchal societies, where they are often denied basic rights, including education and freedom of movement.
• 💔 The emotional toll of societal expectations is evident, as the speaker recounts the sadness and guilt associated with the birth of daughters and the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles.
• 🔒 The concept of 'honor' is critiqued as a restrictive and harmful social construct that controls the lives of both women and men within patriarchal families.
• 🌐 The speaker calls for a global shift in mindset, urging men and women in tribal and patriarchal societies to challenge discriminatory norms and laws that oppress women.
• 📖 Malala's story is used as an example of how one person's courage can inspire change, despite the risks and the fear imposed by oppressive regimes like the Taliban.
• 🤝 The importance of supporting and encouraging daughters to be strong, vocal, and independent is highlighted, as well as the role of fathers in challenging and changing societal norms.
• 🌟 The script concludes with a message of resilience and the power of education to empower individuals, as exemplified by Malala's continued activism and her family's unwavering support.

Q & A

What was Malala's father's initial reaction to her birth?

Initially, Malala's father admits he did not like newborn children, but when he looked into Malala's eyes, he felt extremely honored.

Why did Malala's father name her 'Malala'?

Malala's father named her after Malalai of Maiwand, a heroic, legendary freedom fighter in Afghanistan, whom he admired.

What was the significance of Malala's enrollment in school according to her father?

Enrollment in school was a significant event in Malala's life because it represented the recognition of her identity and her name, and it marked her entry into a world of dreams and aspirations.

How did Malala's father's upbringing differ from the traditional norms of patriarchal societies?

Malala's father encouraged her intelligence and brilliance, allowed her to sit with him when his friends visited, and took her to different meetings, instilling in her values that went against the traditional lessons of obedience and honor.

What was the impact of Talibanization on women's rights in the region where Malala lived?

Talibanization led to a complete negation of women's participation in political, economic, and social activities, the closure of hundreds of schools, prohibition of girls' education, forced veiling of women, and severe restrictions on their movements and freedoms.

How did Malala respond to the restrictions imposed by the Taliban?

Malala stood for the right to education, wrote a diary for the BBC, volunteered for the New York Times documentaries, and spoke from every platform she could, becoming a powerful voice against the Taliban's restrictions.

What was the reaction of Malala's father when she was shot by the Taliban?

Malala's father experienced a doomsday feeling, with the world turning into a big black hole for him and his family. He questioned whether he should be blamed for what happened to Malala.

How did Malala's mother support the family during her hospitalization?

Malala's mother consoled her husband by telling him not to blame himself, affirming that they stood for the right cause and that God would protect Malala.

What did Malala's father mean when he said he did not clip her wings?

By saying he did not clip her wings, Malala's father meant that he allowed her the freedom to express herself, pursue her education, and advocate for her rights without hindrance.

How does Malala's father describe her resilience during her recovery?

Despite the severe pain and challenges she faced, Malala never complained and reassured her family that she would be okay, showing great resilience.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍👧 Patriarchal Society and Malala's Fame

The speaker, Malala's father, discusses the societal norms in patriarchal and tribal societies where daughters are often not celebrated. He contrasts this with his own pride in being known as Malala's father. Malala began advocating for education and women's rights at a young age, and her recognition with the National Youth Peace Prize in 2011 brought her fame. The speaker reflects on the historical injustices and restrictions faced by women, such as lack of celebration at birth, limited freedom, and forced seclusion as they grow older. He also touches on the impact of these norms on both female and male family members, illustrating the burden placed on men to uphold 'honor' and provide for their sisters.

05:03

📚 Education as a Path to Change

The speaker emphasizes the importance of education in breaking the cycle of oppression and changing societal norms. He shares his personal journey of valuing his daughter's education and compares it to the experiences of his sisters who were denied the same opportunity. He recounts how he named his daughter Malala after a legendary Afghan freedom fighter, symbolizing his hopes for her future. The admission of girls to school in patriarchal societies is highlighted as a significant step towards recognizing their identity and potential. The speaker's commitment to education as a tool for emancipation is evident in his efforts to teach his students to challenge traditional norms and expectations.

10:03

🔒 The Impact of Talibanization on Women's Rights

The speaker describes the rise of the Taliban and its devastating effects on women's rights, including the prohibition of girls' education and the enforcement of strict dress codes. He recounts the fear and suffering that ensued, with many silenced or punished for speaking out. Despite the risks, Malala continued to advocate for education, using various platforms to amplify her message. The speaker recounts the traumatic event when Malala was shot by the Taliban, expressing the profound impact it had on his family. He shares the resilience and courage Malala displayed during her recovery, which served as an inspiration to him and others.

15:03

🦅 Resilience and the Power of Support

The speaker reflects on the strength and resilience shown by Malala during her recovery, noting how she provided comfort to her family despite her own struggles. He highlights the normalcy of Malala's life outside her role as an activist, emphasizing her relatability. The speaker is asked about his mentorship and the factors that contributed to Malala's courage and outspokenness. He responds by stating that he did not clip her wings, allowing her the freedom to grow and express herself. The narrative concludes with a message of empowerment and the importance of supporting the next generation.

Keywords

💡Patriarchal societies

Patriarchal societies are those in which men hold primary power and are the dominant authority in social, political, and family structures. In the video, the speaker discusses how in such societies, the birth of a girl is often met with disappointment, and girls are not given the same opportunities as boys, such as education and freedom of movement. This concept is central to understanding the challenges faced by women and girls in the narrative.

💡Injustice

Injustice refers to the unfair treatment or unequal access to rights and opportunities. The video highlights the historical and ongoing injustices faced by women, such as being unwelcomed at birth, denied education, and confined to the home without the freedom to make their own choices. The speaker uses the term to emphasize the systemic nature of the discrimination against women.

💡Education

Education is the process of acquiring knowledge, skills, and values, and it is a central theme in the video. The speaker's daughter, Malala, campaigns for the right to education, which is depicted as a fundamental human right and a pathway to empowerment. The video underscores the transformative power of education in challenging patriarchal norms and breaking the cycle of injustice.

💡Honor

In the context of the video, 'honor' refers to the societal expectations and codes of conduct that dictate the behavior of women in patriarchal societies. The speaker describes how these norms confine women and girls, restrict their freedoms, and can even lead to violence if they are perceived to have transgressed. The concept is used to critique the oppressive nature of so-called 'honor' in these societies.

💡Obedience

Obedience, as discussed in the video, is the expectation for girls and women to be submissive and to follow the dictates of male family members without question. The speaker challenges this norm by encouraging his daughter and other girls to unlearn obedience and to assert their rights and aspirations, thus advocating for a shift in societal expectations.

💡Talibanization

Talibanization, as used in the video, refers to the extreme repression and exclusion of women from public life, as enacted by the Taliban regime. This includes banning girls from schools, enforcing strict dress codes, and limiting women's movements. The term is used to illustrate the dire consequences for women's rights and freedoms under such regimes.

💡Emancipation

Emancipation in the video refers to the process of freeing individuals, particularly women, from oppressive social structures and gaining the right to control their own lives. The speaker uses education as a tool for emancipation, teaching his students to challenge traditional norms and to strive for equality and self-determination.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the ability to recover and adapt in the face of adversity. The video showcases Malala's resilience after she was attacked by the Taliban, as she continued to advocate for education and women's rights despite the personal risks. Her story exemplifies the strength and determination required to challenge oppressive systems.

💡Discrimination

Discrimination is the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially based on gender. The video discusses how discriminatory laws and societal norms in patriarchal societies actively work against the basic human rights of women, reinforcing gender inequality and limiting opportunities for women.

💡Freedom fighter

A freedom fighter is someone who fights for the rights and liberties of others, often in the face of oppression. The speaker names his daughter Malala after Malalai of Maiwand, a legendary Afghan freedom fighter, highlighting the importance of standing up against injustice and the legacy of resistance that Malala embodies.

💡Human rights

Human rights are the basic rights and freedoms to which all individuals are entitled. The video emphasizes the importance of fighting for the human rights of women, particularly in the context of patriarchal and tribal societies where these rights are often violated. The speaker calls for the abolition of discriminatory laws and societal norms that infringe upon women's rights.

Highlights

Fathers in patriarchal societies are known by their sons, but the speaker is proud to be known by his daughter.

Malala Yousafzai began advocating for education and her rights in 2007.

In 2011, Malala received the National Youth Peace Prize, gaining national fame.

The speaker's identity shifted from being Malala's father to being known as her father.

The history of women is marked by injustice, inequality, and exploitation.

In patriarchal societies, the birth of a girl is often met with sadness and discomfort.

Girls are expected to be quiet, humble, and submissive, with limited freedom as they grow older.

The concept of 'honor' in patriarchal societies restricts girls' lives and can lead to violence.

The brother's responsibility for his sisters' well-being can lead to personal sacrifices and limited opportunities.

The speaker named his daughter Malala after a legendary Afghan freedom fighter, Malalai of Maiwand.

Enrolling a girl in school in patriarchal societies is a significant event, signifying recognition of her identity.

The speaker's five sisters never went to school, highlighting the importance of Malala's education.

The speaker encouraged Malala's intelligence and involvement in discussions with his friends and in meetings.

Education was used as a tool for emancipation, teaching students to challenge traditional norms.

The Taliban's rise led to severe restrictions on women's rights, including banning girls from schools.

At age 10, Malala stood up for the right to education, writing for the BBC and appearing in documentaries.

Malala was shot by the Taliban in 2012, an event that deeply affected her family.

Despite her global advocacy, Malala remains a typical teenager with everyday concerns.

The speaker's mentorship allowed Malala to flourish by not clipping her wings.

Transcripts

In many patriarchal societies and tribal societies,

fathers are usually known by their sons,

but I'm one of the few fathers

who is known by his daughter,

and I am proud of it.

(Applause)

Malala started her campaign for education

and stood for her rights in 2007,

and when her efforts were honored in 2011,

and she was given the national youth peace prize,

and she became a very famous,

very popular young girl of her country.

Before that, she was my daughter,

but now I am her father.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if we glance to human history,

the story of women

is the story of injustice,

inequality,

violence and exploitation.

You see,

in patriarchal societies,

right from the very beginning,

when a girl is born,

her birth is not celebrated.

She is not welcomed,

neither by father nor by mother.

The neighborhood comes

and commiserates with the mother,

and nobody congratulates the father.

And a mother is very uncomfortable

for having a girl child.

When she gives birth to the first girl child,

first daughter, she is sad.

When she gives birth to the second daughter,

she is shocked,

and in the expectation of a son,

when she gives birth to a third daughter,

she feels guilty like a criminal.

Not only the mother suffers,

but the daughter, the newly born daughter,

when she grows old,

she suffers too.

At the age of five,

while she should be going to school,

she stays at home

and her brothers are admitted in a school.

Until the age of 12, somehow,

she has a good life.

She can have fun.

She can play with her friends in the streets,

and she can move around in the streets

like a butterfly.

But when she enters her teens,

when she becomes 13 years old,

she is forbidden to go out of her home

without a male escort.

She is confined under the four walls of her home.

She is no more a free individual.

She becomes the so-called honor

of her father and of her brothers

and of her family,

and if she transgresses

the code of that so-called honor,

she could even be killed.

And it is also interesting that this so-called

code of honor,

it does not only affect the life of a girl,

it also affects the life

of the male members of the family.

I know a family of seven sisters and one brother,

and that one brother,

he has migrated to the Gulf countries,

to earn a living for his seven sisters

and parents,

because he thinks that it will be humiliating

if his seven sisters learn a skill

and they go out of the home

and earn some livelihood.

So this brother,

he sacrifices the joys of his life

and the happiness of his sisters

at the altar of so-called honor.

And there is one more norm

of the patriarchal societies

that is called obedience.

A good girl is supposed to be

very quiet, very humble

and very submissive.

It is the criteria.

The role model good girl should be very quiet.

She is supposed to be silent

and she is supposed to accept the decisions

of her father and mother

and the decisions of elders,

even if she does not like them.

If she is married to a man she doesn't like

or if she is married to an old man,

she has to accept,

because she does not want to be dubbed

as disobedient.

If she is married very early,

she has to accept.

Otherwise, she will be called disobedient.

And what happens at the end?

In the words of a poetess,

she is wedded, bedded,

and then she gives birth to more sons and daughters.

And it is the irony of the situation

that this mother,

she teaches the same lesson of obedience

to her daughter

and the same lesson of honor to her sons.

And this vicious cycle goes on, goes on.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this plight of millions of women

could be changed

if we think differently,

if women and men think differently,

if men and women in the tribal and patriarchal societies

in the developing countries,

if they can break a few norms

of family and society,

if they can abolish the discriminatory laws

of the systems in their states,

which go against the basic human rights

of the women.

Dear brothers and sisters, when Malala was born,

and for the first time,

believe me,

I don't like newborn children, to be honest,

but when I went and I looked into her eyes,

believe me,

I got extremely honored.

And long before she was born,

I thought about her name,

and I was fascinated with a heroic

legendary freedom fighter in Afghanistan.

Her name was Malalai of Maiwand,

and I named my daughter after her.

A few days after Malala was born,

my daughter was born,

my cousin came --

and it was a coincidence --

he came to my home

and he brought a family tree,

a family tree of the Yousafzai family,

and when I looked at the family tree,

it traced back to 300 years of our ancestors.

But when I looked, all were men,

and I picked my pen,

drew a line from my name,

and wrote, "Malala."

And when she grow old,

when she was four and a half years old,

I admitted her in my school.

You will be asking, then, why should I mention about

the admission of a girl in a school?

Yes, I must mention it.

It may be taken for granted in Canada,

in America, in many developed countries,

but in poor countries,

in patriarchal societies, in tribal societies,

it's a big event for the life of girl.

Enrollment in a school means

recognition of her identity and her name.

Admission in a school means

that she has entered the world of dreams

and aspirations

where she can explore her potentials

for her future life.

I have five sisters,

and none of them could go to school,

and you will be astonished,

two weeks before,

when I was filling out the Canadian visa form,

and I was filling out the family part of the form,

I could not recall

the surnames of some of my sisters.

And the reason was

that I have never, never seen the names

of my sisters written on any document.

That was the reason that

I valued my daughter.

What my father could not give to my sisters

and to his daughters,

I thought I must change it.

I used to appreciate the intelligence

and the brilliance of my daughter.

I encouraged her to sit with me

when my friends used to come.

I encouraged her to go with me to different meetings.

And all these good values,

I tried to inculcate in her personality.

And this was not only she, only Malala.

I imparted all these good values

to my school, girl students and boy students as well.

I used education for emancipation.

I taught my girls,

I taught my girl students,

to unlearn the lesson of obedience.

I taught my boy students

to unlearn the lesson of so-called pseudo-honor.

Dear brothers and sisters,

we were striving for more rights for women,

and we were struggling to have more,

more and more space for the women in society.

But we came across a new phenomenon.

It was lethal to human rights

and particularly to women's rights.

It was called Talibanization.

It means a complete negation

of women's participation

in all political, economical and social activities.

Hundreds of schools were lost.

Girls were prohibited from going to school.

Women were forced to wear veils

and they were stopped from going to the markets.

Musicians were silenced,

girls were flogged

and singers were killed.

Millions were suffering,

but few spoke,

and it was the most scary thing

when you have all around such people

who kill and who flog,

and you speak for your rights.

It's really the most scary thing.

At the age of 10,

Malala stood, and she stood for the right

of education.

She wrote a diary for the BBC blog,

she volunteered herself

for the New York Times documentaries,

and she spoke from every platform she could.

And her voice was the most powerful voice.

It spread like a crescendo all around the world.

And that was the reason the Taliban

could not tolerate her campaign,

and on October 9 2012,

she was shot in the head at point blank range.

It was a doomsday for my family and for me.

The world turned into a big black hole.

While my daughter was

on the verge of life and death,

I whispered into the ears of my wife,

"Should I be blamed for what happened

to my daughter and your daughter?"

And she abruptly told me,

"Please don't blame yourself.

You stood for the right cause.

You put your life at stake

for the cause of truth,

for the cause of peace,

and for the cause of education,

and your daughter in inspired from you

and she joined you.

You both were on the right path

and God will protect her."

These few words meant a lot to me,

and I didn't ask this question again.

When Malala was in the hospital,

and she was going through the severe pains

and she had had severe headaches

because her facial nerve was cut down,

I used to see a dark shadow

spreading on the face of my wife.

But my daughter never complained.

She used to tell us,

"I'm fine with my crooked smile

and with my numbness in my face.

I'll be okay. Please don't worry."

She was a solace for us,

and she consoled us.

Dear brothers and sisters,

we learned from her how to be resilient

in the most difficult times,

and I'm glad to share with you

that despite being an icon

for the rights of children and women,

she is like any 16-year old girl.

She cries when her homework is incomplete.

She quarrels with her brothers,

and I am very happy for that.

People ask me,

what special is in my mentorship

which has made Malala so bold

and so courageous and so vocal and poised?

I tell them, don't ask me what I did.

Ask me what I did not do.

I did not clip her wings, and that's all.

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. (Applause)