Anhedonia Doesn't Have To Steal Your Future!
Summary
TLDRDieses Video skizziert das Phänomen der Anhaftung, einer Symptom von Depression, die das Belohnungssystem des Gehirns stört und das Gefühl von Freude oder Genuss unterdrückt. Der Schöpfer vergleicht dieses Erlebnis mit einem akustischen Kammer, der stillste Ort auf der Welt, und diskutiert, wie man trotz emotionaler Leere an Erfahrungen teilnehmen kann, die zukünftig positive Erinnerungen hervorrufen können. Er ermutigt dazu, in schwierigen Zeiten aktiv zu bleiben, um zukünftige emotionale Belohnungen zu sichern.
Takeaways
- 🧠 Anhedonia ist ein Symptom von Depression, bei dem die Belohnungswege im Gehirn gestört werden und man keine Freude empfinden kann.
- 💡 Die Belohnungswege im Gehirn sind neuronale Übertragungen, die es ermöglichen, Emotionen wie Freude oder Begeisterung zu empfinden.
- 🌐 Anhedonia kann dazu führen, dass man Aktivitäten einstellt, aus denen man normalerweise Freude hätte, was das Leben beeinträchtigen kann.
- 🗣️ Anhedonia kann das Leben beeinträchtigen, indem sie eine Kettenreaktion auslöst, bei der man die Tätigkeiten einstellt, aus denen man keine Freude empfindet.
- 🕰️ Es gibt drei Zeitrahmen, in denen eine Erfahrung Freude bringen kann: während der Anticipation, während des Erlebnis selbst und nach dem Erlebnis.
- 🔄 Angst stößt oft die Freude bei der Anticipation von Belohnungen, während Depression und Anhedonia die Freude im Moment des Erlebnisses untergraben können.
- 🔄 Manche Menschen erleben sowohl Depression als auch Angst, was zu einer Überschneidung von negativen Emotionen in allen drei Zeiträumen führen kann.
- 🔄 Man kann in der Zukunft positive Emotionen über Ereignisse empfinden, die zuvor keine positiven Emotionen ausgelöst haben.
- 🌟 Es ist wichtig, an die dritte Zeitachse zu denken, auch wenn man in der Gegenwart oder bei der Anticipation keine positiven Emotionen empfindet.
- 💡 Trotz der aktuellen Unfähigkeit, Freude zu empfinden, kann es von Vorteil sein, an Erfahrungen teilzunehmen, die zukünftig positive Emotionen hervorrufen könnten.
Q & A
Was ist Anhedonia und wie ist es mit Depressionen verbunden?
-Anhedonia ist ein Symptom, das häufig mit Depressionen einhergeht und beschreibt den Verlust des Genusses oder der Fähigkeit, Freude oder positive Emotionen aus Aktivitäten zu empfinden, die normalerweise belohnend sind.
Wie funktioniert der Belohnungspfad im Gehirn und was passiert bei Anhedonia?
-Der Belohnungspfad ist eine Reihe von neuronalen Übertragungen oder chemischen Signalen, die durch Gehirnzellen passieren und es uns ermöglichen, Emotionen wie Freude oder Begeisterung zu empfinden. Bei Anhedonia wird dieser Belohnungspfad gestört, sodass diese Emotionen nicht mehr oder weniger stark empfunden werden.
Was ist ein Echokammer und wie ist sie mit Anhedonia vergleichbar?
-Eine Echokammer ist ein riesiger unterirdischer Bunker, der von Microsoft für Sound Engineering oder Schalltests gebaut wurde. Sie ist so still, dass man dort fast keine Geräusche hört. Diese Stille kann unangenehm und unerträglich sein, was eine physiologische Version von Anhedonia darstellt, wo man sich von allen äußeren Reizen abgeschottet fühlt.
Wie kann Anhedonia das Leben einer Person beeinträchtigen?
-Anhedonia kann dazu führen, dass Menschen Aktivitäten meiden, aus denen sie normalerweise Freude empfunden hätten, da sie keine positiven Emotionen mehr erwarten. Dies kann zu einem Abstieg in die Depression führen und das Leben einer Person negativ beeinflussen.
Was sind die drei Zeitrahmen, in denen eine Erfahrung Freude bringen kann?
-Die drei Zeitrahmen sind: während der Erfahrung, während der Vorfreude auf die Erfahrung und nach der Erfahrung, wenn man sich an sie erinnert. Anhedonia kann die Fähigkeit stören, Freude während oder vor der Erfahrung zu empfinden, aber manchmal kann man später in der Zukunft Freude empfinden, wenn man an die Erfahrung zurückdenkt.
Warum kann es wichtig sein, Aktivitäten während depressiver oder anxioser Phasen trotzdem zu unternehmen?
-Es ist wichtig, weil diese Aktivitäten zukünftige positive Erinnerungen schaffen können, die man in einem besseren emotionalen Zustand dann genießen kann. Es ist eine Art, in die Zukunft zu investieren, indem man sich emotionale Möglichkeiten erstellt, die man später nutzen kann.
Wie kann man mit der Vorstellung umgehen, dass man in Zukunft möglicherweise an Aktivitäten Freude finden kann, wenn man sie im Moment nicht genießt?
-Man kann versuchen, sich zu überzeugen oder zu glauben, dass man sich in Zukunft in einem gesünderen emotionalen Zustand befinden wird und dann die Emotionen, die man während depressiver oder anxioser Phasen nicht empfunden hat, nachvollziehen kann.
Was passiert, wenn man während depressiver oder anxioser Phasen keine memorablen Erfahrungen macht?
-Wenn man keine memorablen Erfahrungen macht, kann dies zu einem leeren Bereich im Leben führen, in dem es an bedeutsamen Erinnerungen mangelt. Dies kann das Gefühl verstärken, als ob man das Leben nicht vollständig erlebt hat.
Wie kann man praktisch die Idee umsetzen, auch während depressiver oder anxioser Phasen an Aktivitäten teilzunehmen?
-Man kann sich auf die Idee konzentrieren, dass man sich diese Erfahrungen als Investition in die Zukunft ansieht, die man später nutzen kann. Man kann auch versuchen, sich an positive Aspekte der Aktivitäten zu erinnern und sich auf die Möglichkeit zu konzentrieren, dass man sich in Zukunft freut, dass man sie überstanden hat.
Was ist der Hauptzweck des Erzählers in diesem Skript?
-Der Hauptzweck des Erzählers ist es, anderen zu helfen, indem er sein eigenes Erlebnis teilt und die Idee vermittelt, dass man auch in schwierigen Zeiten an Aktivitäten teilnehmen sollte, um positive Erinnerungen für die Zukunft zu schaffen.
Outlines
🧠 Anhedonia und die Belohnungspfade im Gehirn
Der erste Absatz behandelt das Konzept der Anhedonia, einer Symptom von Depression, die durch Störungen im Belohnungspfad im Gehirn verursacht wird. Dieser Pfade ermöglichen es dem Gehirn, Emotionen wie Freude oder Begeisterung zu empfinden. Anhedonia manifestiert sich, wenn diese neuronalen Übertragungen gestört werden, was dazu führt, dass normale Freuden empfunden werden, was zu einer Reihe von negativen Folgen wie dem Verlust des Interesses an Aktivitäten und dem Rückzug aus dem sozialen Leben führen kann.
🕰 Die Zeiträume der Erfahrungsfreude
Der zweite Absatz konzentriert sich auf die verschiedenen Zeiträume, in denen eine Erfahrung Freude bringen kann: während der Erfahrung, in der Vorstellung darauf oder nach der Erfahrung selbst. Es wird erklärt, dass wir oft nur auf die aktuelle Erfahrung achten, während die anderen beiden Zeiträume, die Vorfreude und die Rückblende, ebenso wichtig sind. Der Sprecher verwendet das Beispiel eines.echoischen Raumes, der von Microsoft gebaut wurde, um die Stille und die Unannehmlichkeiten, die daraus resultieren können, zu veranschaulichen.
🚗 Stress und die Vorfreude auf positive Ereignisse
In diesem Absatz wird beschrieben, wie Angst und Stress die Vorfreude auf positive Ereignisse untergraben können. Der Sprecher gibt ein persönliches Beispiel seiner eigenen Erfahrung, als er mit seiner Familie nach Chicago fuhr, um sein Kind zum Aquarium zu bringen. Obwohl er wusste, dass es eine positive Erfahrung sein würde, war er von der Vorfreude auf die Reise durch die Stadt芝加哥 gestresst, was die Freude der Vorbereitung auf die Reise beeinträchtigte.
🌊 Anhedonia und das Erlebnis des heutigen Moments
Der vierte Absatz besagt, dass manchmal die Erwartung auf eine positive Erfahrung durch Depression und Anhedonia beeinträchtigt wird, was dazu führt, dass man das Erlebnis im Moment nicht so genießt, wie es eigentlich sein sollte. Der Sprecher erzählt von einer Tauchreise, die er mit seinem Vater in seiner Adoleszenz machte, und wie er trotz der atemberaubenden Umgebung und der Tatsache, dass es ein Traum war, keine emotionale Verbindung zu den Ereignissen auf der Reise empfand.
🌟 Investition in die Zukunft durch heutige Erfahrungen
Der fünfte Absatz betont die Bedeutung, auch in Zeiten von Depression und Angst an Erfahrungen teilzunehmen, da diese später in der Zukunft positive Emotionen hervorrufen können, auch wenn man sie im Moment nicht empfindet. Der Sprecher teilt seine persönlichen Erlebnisse während einer Tauchreise und wie er, obwohl er sie zu der Zeit nicht als emotional belohnend empfand, heute Freude und Zufriedenheit durch die Erinnerung an diese Erfahrungen empfindet.
💭 Lebendige Erinnerungen als Investition in das emotionale Wohlergehen
Der letzte Absatz unterstreicht die Notwendigkeit, auch während schwerer Zeiten an Erfahrungen teilzunehmen, da diese zukünftig positive Emotionen hervorrufen können. Der Sprecher reflektiert über seine eigene Adoleszenz und wie die Tatsache, dass er damals nicht viel tat, zu einem Leben ohne nennenswerte Erinnerungen führte. Er ermutigt die Zuhörer, sich dennoch an positiven Erfahrungen zu beteiligen, um zukünftige emotionale Belohnungen zu sichern.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Anhedonia
💡Belohnungsweg
💡Anticipation
💡Post-Erlebnis
💡Depression
💡Angst
💡Emotionale Belohnung
💡Zukünftige Erinnerungen
💡Investition in die Zukunft
💡Lebensqualität
Highlights
Anhedonia is a symptom of depression that disrupts the brain's reward pathway.
The reward pathway involves neuronal transmissions that allow us to feel emotions like joy and excitement.
Anhedonia can lead to a downward spiral where one stops engaging in activities due to lack of emotional reward.
The concept of an 'echoic chamber' is introduced as a metaphor for the isolation of anhedonia.
The echoic chamber is a quiet, soundproofed environment that amplifies internal bodily sounds, causing discomfort.
Anhedonia can be compared to the silence of the echoic chamber, where external stimuli fail to produce emotional responses.
The importance of considering multiple time frames for experiencing joy is discussed.
Anticipation of an event can bring joy, even if the event itself is currently causing anxiety.
Depression can disrupt the ability to enjoy the present moment, even if the event is objectively enjoyable.
The future emotional state can be different from the present, allowing for retrospective enjoyment of past events.
The speaker shares a personal story of planning a scuba diving trip during a period of depression.
Despite not feeling joy during the trip, the speaker later experiences happiness when looking back on the memories.
The concept of investing in experiences during periods of low mood is introduced as a strategy for combating anhedonia.
Engaging in activities with potential for reward can create positive memories for the future, even if they're not enjoyed at the time.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of creating memorable experiences to avoid a 'black hole' in one's life.
The talk concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage in life despite periods of depression and anxiety.
Transcripts
the most uncomfortable place to be in
the entire world is your own mind when
your feelings are not working properly
if you've been here before you might
know that I'm talking about something
called anhedonia which most commonly is
a symptom of depression anhedonia occurs
when what's called a reward pathway in
our brain gets disrupted your reward
pathway is a series of neuronal
transmissions in other words chemical
signals that pass through your brain
cells that allows you to feel emotions
like Joy when you're doing something fun
or excitement when you have something
fun coming up or achievement or
accomplishment after you've completed a
task or a goal or or a to-do list item
of some kind we aren't always able to
feel these things and when the feelings
that are normally present in our mind
fade or even disappear entirely for a
period of time all that is left is our
thoughts I found myself thinking about
this the other day after I saw a Tik Tok
video about something called the I don't
know if I'm saying this correctly an
echoic chamber you guys might know what
I'm talking about it's this like
basically giant underground bunker that
apparently was built by Microsoft for
some type of Sound Engineering or sound
testing purposes and it's it's literally
the quietest place in the world it's
like this giant
underground Studio I guess you would say
it's this huge room deep underground
with just an insane amount of of noise
cancelling or sound deadening treatments
and Equipment inside of it and
apparently it is so quiet in there that
you can scream and not hear yourself so
apparently this place is so quiet that
you can hear it's kind of gross but
apparently you can hear your own bodily
functions like you can hear your heart
beating you can hear your food digesting
you can hear all the stuff that happens
inside of you because there's no other
sound to drown that out those are
literally the because they're internal
so they're the only things that are not
affected by this like Echo prooof
environment that you're in and
apparently people cannot stand being in
this this chamber for like more than a
few seconds I guess in most cases
because it's just so eerie and
uncomfortable and unpleasant to not hear
anything except for what happens inside
of you
so of course the first thing I thought
when I heard that is that's that's just
the physiological version of severe
complete in hedonia that's what that is
it it's when essentially you become
closed off to all output from the world
like it doesn't do anything anymore and
that made me think it was probably time
to do some more content on
anhedonia so if that little metaphor
makes sense to you you probably are
going to understand what I'm about to
say here but ANH hadon can literally
steal your life from you because it
creates this Chain Reaction which I've
talked about on here before where once
things if you're in a period where
nothing is feeling good to you where you
don't look forward to anything or don't
enjoy anything a very natural
consequence of that is going to be that
you stop doing those things because
essentially at that point you feel like
you're working for free I'm doing these
things I'm getting no emotional reward
from doing these things therefore I do
not wish to continue doing these things
and and that's often where our lives
when we're dealing with and I'm I'm just
going to say depression I know there's
other reasons people experience in honia
but I'm going to assume you know if
you're following this content at this
point it's probably because you you
understand the experience of depression
so when you're in a depressive episode
and you stop doing these things you stop
in some cases doing anything right
sometimes we stop interacting with
people taking care of ourselves
sometimes we stop eating I mean it can
get that bad it it just starts to ruin
your life you're in this downward spiral
that that seems like there's no way out
we've explored a couple other loopholes
to that before but there's a brand new
one I want to talk to you today and it
relates to time frames there's a way
that even in the midst of that complete
void of reward that complete absence of
positive feeling that you can still keep
your life going and that it will
eventually pay off for you so let me
introduce the concept first then I'm
going to give you a couple examples and
then at the end we will really like
solidify strategy that I want you guys
to try here the concept is when we think
about doing something like you think
about going out with your friends or
watching a movie or taking a vacation or
something like that the time frame that
we're thinking about when we try to
determine will I enjoy that thing or not
will that expenditure of time and energy
and attention be worth it will I get as
much or more from doing that thing as
what I put into it we typically only
think about the moment when we're doing
it we think about it's technically the
future when you're thinking about it but
it's what will be the present when
you're engaging in the behavior
hopefully that made sense so again
you're thinking about going out with
friends the question you ask yourself is
will I enjoy the period of time that I
am with those people I know you may not
actually be narratively asking that
question in your head but when you try
to decide should I go or not that's
essenti that's the underlying question
that you're actually trying to answer
right is it worth it that question is a
mistake because it is only considering
one of the three time frames in which an
experience can bring you Joy any
experience that you may do in the future
can bring you Joy while you're doing it
that's the obvious one I don't really
think I need to explain that anymore do
you does it feel good while you're doing
it that that's the question there some
things bring us joy or excitement or
other forms of reward before we actually
do them and I'm sure you've experienced
that right you've been excited to do
things that haven't happened yet because
you thought they were probably going to
feel good or you thought they'd probably
be a good experience or sometimes when
we're really deep in the depths of a
depression sometimes one of the things
that keeps us going is like I got that
concert in a month or I'm going to that
convention in two months and I really
don't want to miss these things and so
even though I'm not enjoying my life
right now I'm going to stick around a
bit longer because I want to make sure I
get this experience I think this
experience even in the midst of this
Darkness I'm in I think that day that
week that moment whatever is going to be
a good one so you can get reward from
just anticipating an experience right
the third one that I think this this is
the real takeaway message from this
episode the third time frame is after
and you can enjoy an experience after it
has happened
even if you did not enjoy the
anticipation of experience or the
experience itself so even if in other
words leading up to it you weren't that
excited about it and you went and did it
it still didn't feel good you may still
experience an emotional reward from
having done that thing later on in your
life it might be the next day it might
be the next week it might be months or
years later but it can happen and we
typically fake
to consider that third time frame we
usually only focus on the present
sometimes present and the anticipation
and if we don't see much possibility for
reward we usually turn down the
opportunity I'm not going to look
forward to it I'm not going to like
doing it therefore I'm not going to do
it this is how we end up in those
Vicious Cycles where we basically just
don't do anything because our brains
trick us into thinking nothing is
worthwhile and we don't consider the
third time frame I know that this is a
little little bit of an abstract idea so
I'm going to give you two examples here
of how this can get disrupted and how
you can overcome it so anxiety tends to
disrupt anticipation of reward the most
this they all flow together to some
degree but if you have a chronic anxiety
disorder what you probably know is when
you make plans the P even even if it's
something you really want to do
something you're really excited about
something you're passionate about the
period of time between having made the
plan and actually doing the thing is
often an unpleasant period of time right
because you start to stress you start to
think about all the things that could go
wrong or you know all the ways you might
make a fool out of yourself or what's
going to be difficult about it and often
with anxiety we don't enjoy the buildup
to even positive or Pleasant events even
if we believe we are likely to enjoy the
event itself give you an example of this
a few weeks back we planned to trip to
Chicago for my daughter's birthday our
daughter's birthday I should say she
doesn't belong only to me because she
really loves aquariums and the Shed
Aquarium of course is one of the
greatest aquariums in the world and
she'd never seen it so it seemed like a
no-brainer I currently live in a city of
about 125,000 people and that's honestly
about my limit I'm not a city guy um I
don't like driving in cities I don't
like parking in cities I don't like
walking in cities I like big open spaces
and acreages and forests and lakes and
long roads with few cars on them I'm a
country guy that's that's my comfort
zone right and so even though I knew
that this was going to be a good
experience not just for her but for all
of us I knew we were going to enjoy it I
did not experience a lot of excitement
or joy in the period of time between
scheduling this Chicago trip and
actually getting there mostly I
experienced stress about the Logistics
of the trip itself you know are we what
kind of count what kind of traffic are
we going to encounter did we pack
everything honestly that's more my
wife's job but um these are all things
you know these are all things that can
get messed up right these are all the
things we worry about when we've got
something big coming up so I don't even
necessarily have a lot of anxiety in
most situations these days once upon a
time I did but my average anxiety level
is pretty low on a normal day but
driving through downtown Chicago at
night is not a normal day for me you
know some people live there I don't and
so I had a lot of anxiety thinking about
doing it and then even more when we were
actually doing it so we got there Friday
night did the aquarium stuff on Saturday
the actual experience of it was mostly
enjoyable it was a really good time and
I knew it was going to be I wasn't
doubting that but I had to like overcome
I to climb this mountain first basically
this mountain of my own stress about the
traveling there about dealing with the
toll roads and and you know where did we
stop for gas how often all the kids need
to pee all this all this stuff you got
to plan right and so I only really
enjoyed it in the moment I didn't I
didn't get to enjoy that excitement my
kids did because they didn't have to
drive right so you know every day that
got closer to the trip they are getting
more and more excited I'm not but the
actual day was good so anxiety tends to
Rob us of the joy that comes from that
time frame that first third of it and
because of that we often end up not
doing things right even if we know the
event itself will be good we think about
all the leadup all the build up all the
stress we're going to feel between now
and then and sometimes we decide it is
not worth climbing that mountain I know
the view at the top would be beautiful
but the climb is just too much and I'm
just not up for it sometimes when we are
able to focus on how much we know we
will enjoy it when we do it when we get
to the top of that mountain when we
finally see the summit and look around
and say man look what I just did that
that's going to be worth it so sometimes
you can use that knowledge to push
yourself past it sometimes you can't now
sometimes the opposite happens and this
tends to be more related to depression
right sometimes we are looking forward
to something and we do think or we do
hope that it's going to be a good
experience we are counting on that we
are trusting that and when you get there
when it starts and you finally start to
you know finally in the moment that
you've been waiting for for who knows
how long and you
realize I'm not feeling it and it's not
because there's anything wrong with the
experience like this looks the way I
thought it was going to look the things
that I thought was going were going to
happen are happening but I'm just
noticing nothing is really connecting
inside of me right now I'm I'm looking
at what's unfolding around me and I'm
logically understanding that I should
feel really good right now but it's just
not there maybe it's only a fraction of
what you thought it was supposed to be
maybe it's not there at all that's the
anhedonia kicking in and that's the
depression disrupting your ability to
enjoy the present moment
now I suspect many people watching or
listening to this experience both
depression and anxiety and if that's the
case then you get that really nasty
overlap of I'm probably not going to
enjoy the buildup to it because of my
anxiety and I'm probably not going to
enjoy it even once I get past my anxiety
what's waiting for me on the other side
of that anxiety is depression and anonia
so even if I push myself through all the
stress and all this burden to do this
thing I'm still not going to get much
out of it but you probably noticed that
the time frame that's not factored in to
either of those equations is that third
time frame that I was discussing with
you earlier the future the emotions you
experience in the future when you look
back on things you have done in the past
are not the same emotions that you
experienced when that thing was
happening you need to understand this if
you want to have any chance of dealing
with depression and anxiety and anadon
you can have emotions in the future
about things happening right now that
will be different than what you're
feeling right now and it can go either
way it's probably easier to think of
examples when you have less Pleasant
emotions in the future about something
so for example you might have really
good memories with somebody that now
make you really sad to think about
because that person is gone maybe it's a
friend who you lost touch with maybe
it's a family member who's passed on
maybe it's a partner who you're not with
anymore and these were good memories
like they're not Memories when they're
happening but you know what I mean these
were good moments when they were
happening you enjoyed them they brought
you pleasure they brought you Joy and
now because that person is gone or your
circumstances have changed when you look
back on this experience you feel grief
you feel sorrow you feel loss you feel
sadness you don't feel the happiness
that you felt then
but it can go the other way too you can
experience happiness or Joy or
achievement or accomplishment in the
future about things that didn't feel
good when you did them you need to
factor this in if you don't want
anhedonia to be able to destroy your
life so let me give you an example of
this one too and then we'll wrap up with
some practical
applications when I was 17 years old my
father and I spent about nine months
planning a scuba diving trip and
something you should know about me a
couple things you should know about me I
love water I love fish and mid to late
adolescence was the absolute worst time
of my life and so essentially the
circumstances here were this was a dream
come true vacation being planned for me
in the midst of one of my darkest
periods of life so it was this there's
this interesting overlap of this amazing
thing happening at a time when I felt
awful in my life felt awful and we we
had to do all this buildup right so we
had to we had to take lessons and get
certified and um figure out where we're
were going to go and like what kind of
dive we wanted to do what kind of stuff
did we want to see my dad took care of
most of that but I did have a I did have
a hand in that process and I
remember not feeling that excited about
it not because I didn't think it was
going to be fun but just because I was
thinking about you know the plane ride
there and I was I was literally
nocturnal at this point in my life so I
was like what I'm going to be asleep
during the day well he's going to want
to do stuff and then I'm going to be
awake at night just in a hotel room by
myself with nothing to do while he's
sleeping like how how is this even going
to work so leading up to it I I I had
more stress than excitement or joy and
then you know we we did it so we fly
there we get there and there's a moment
I remember so distinctly which was the
first day so we get on this charter boat
we go like three four miles out in the
ocean in the Florida Keys to some coral
reef we get in the water and I'm not
even we're not even under the water yet
we're just floating on the surface right
I got all my gear on we're just getting
ready to get started and I remember just
looking down in the ocean as I'm bobbing
there in the waves and just seeing
hundreds of fish of every color you
could imagine just this unbeliev
unbelievable natural beauty like I had
never seen anything like that
before and my logical brain was in awe
and was like oh my gosh that is an Inc
inredible site that is so cool and I
actually this is a little weird but you
might you might get it I felt that
thought get to like like start in my
brain and get to like where my emotions
would happen and I anticipated this
feeling of like awe like or Joy or
reward like like wow what an amazing
thing this is and it just stopped like
it hit a brick wall and I I remember in
that moment thinking like oh
man Even This can't get through to me
right now this is a dream come true and
I'm aware of it even this can't break
through that wall what am I going to do
there's a few pictures of me on that
trip um I might try to add them to the
YouTube video just put them on the
bottom here because they're it's a
little bit funny to me now like it's
it's not funny because we're literally
in this paradise looking place right
this wonderful tropical environment and
then there's me my long black wet hair I
was in kind of this goth phase my hair
was wet because we were in the water
obviously just pale as can be looking as
depressed as a person can be like in
paradise and it's just this crazy
juxtaposition but it matched perfectly
what I felt inside that the discrepancy
between my surroundings and what I
looked like was the same discrepancy
occurring inside of me between my
logical mind and my emotional World
basically and it wasn't this is crucial
other people in your life won't always
understand this but you need to
understand this about yourself it wasn't
because I didn't appreciate it it wasn't
because I didn't appreciate all the hard
work that my dad put into planning this
trip or or the expenses that went into
it I'm sure it wasn't cheap it wasn't
because I didn't appreciate the
incredible natural beauty that
surrounded me I appreciated and was very
consciously aware of all of those things
throughout the trip in fact I kept
reminding myself of those things over
and over and over again in an attempt to
break through to my heart and to make
this incredible experience feel like
what I knew it was supposed to feel like
and it just didn't work I don't actually
remember exactly how long we were there
for I want to say it was maybe three or
four days it was a fairly brief trip and
there really weren't a lot of cool stuff
happened like that that thing I
described just now that was just the
first day I mean I remember we did we
did a charter fishing trip we caught
some really big grouper um a Mor eel
swam between my legs that one actually
scared me a little bit too but it was
also kind of cool like there were a lot
of amazing things that happened there
were a lot of highlights it was a great
trip but at no point did it reach my
emotional world at no point during that
trip did I feel this explosion of joy
that I knew should be there so stressed
leading up to the trip didn't really get
much out of it when I did it waste of
time right waste of money wasn't worth
it no not true not true at all because
when I look back on that trip now I feel
incredible Joy because I I remember it
it was such a memorable experience that
even though I wasn't feeling the
feelings I should have been those images
there's certain just flashes of things
that happened in that trip that were so
memorable so
memorable that they just stuck in my
brain there they're core memories that I
will carry with me for the rest of my
life and now that I am in a different
place emotionally than I was then my
life is a lot different at 40 than it
was at 17 I still have access to those
memories they are still in my mind and I
am now in a place where I can pull up
those memories and replay them in my
brain and experience the feelings to
access the emotions that I should have
had then it's a lot
like when you're a kid maybe you
remember listening to a song or watching
a movie or reading a book that was a
little too advanced for you and and you
didn't really you didn't follow the plot
or you didn't really understand what it
was about and maybe you re-experienced
that thing as an adult and you're like
oh that's what this was about I get it
now it's a lot like that feeling if you
know what I'm talking about you can have
an appropriate emotional reaction to
things from your past even if you didn't
have it happen even if you didn't
experience that emotion During the
period of time when you were
experiencing that event I really hope
that made sense I know it's kind of out
there if it did if if it didn't make
sense leave a comment and let me know
and I'll try to use my text words to
explain it better um if it did make
sense then here's what I want you to try
to do with that
information when you're when you have
opportunities to do things during a
period of high depression or high
anxiety or both I want you to keep that
third time frame in mind I want you to
try and okay this is asking a lot big
leap of faith here okay but use me as if
you relate to me use my story as an
example because that means you and I we
have some things in common right I want
you to try to believe maybe even trust
oh let's say be open to the possibility
worst case
scenario that at some point in the
future you will be in a healthier place
and when you are in a healthier place
you will be able to go back and
experience some of the emot tions that
should have been present during the
experiences you had in periods of
heightened depression and anxiety if you
can keep that in your mind and if you
can believe in that and if you can still
get yourself to do things during this
phase of your life knowing I may not
feel it right now but I hope that I will
be able to later then you are basically
investing in the future you're you're
creating these emotional opportunities
that you are going to cash in on later
it's like putting money in a mutual fund
you're probably not going to touch that
money for a while it's not it's not
going to help you pay the bills you're
not it's not gonna really bring you a
lot of Joy or excitement you know it
goes they move
slowly but you're trusting that at some
point in the future you're going to be
able to cash in on that investment you
made that's what you're doing when you
still engage in in experiences that have
high potential for reward during periods
of time when you cannot feel that reward
if you don't do that what you're going
to end up with you're you're you're G to
end up with a period of time in your
life that looks like my life from ages
14 to 18 which is you end up with a
black hole you end up with just kind of
this blank space in your life where
there should be
experiences but there's just not much
because you hardly did anything
memorable for that 4-year period of my
life I remember almost nothing almost
nothing now there are probably many
reasons for that too like I also wasn't
taking good care of myself I wasn't
sleeping well I wasn't eating right I
was very sedentary um I wasn't managing
substances as well as I should have so
my my brain wasn't very healthy so some
of it I'm sure is that my brain wasn't
able to encode Memories the way it
probably should have but that's not the
only reason the other reason is I didn't
do anything thing I I had very few
experiences worth
remembering and so it's all just a big
blur of nothingness and I just have this
Gap in my life where good stuff should
be and I know now that although I
wouldn't have felt much differently
about my life then even if I had been
doing a lot of things that could
potentially feel good I would feel
differently about my life right now I
would have more happy memories to look
back on I would have more of a sense of
having lived in adolescence I I barely
feel like I lived it like there's just
nothing there so I hope that this makes
sense to you like I said if it doesn't
let me know and I'll do my best to
follow up on it um this is a newer idea
that I've been I've been kind of running
through my head for about a week so
anytime I have a new idea I always have
to kind of like Let It Bake for a while
first and I'm always a little wary that
I might have taken it out of the oven
too quickly so if you feel like I did
today you can tell me and and I'll work
on improving this idea but as always I
hope you got good value out of this and
if you did please take the time to share
like leave a comment you know do
whatever you can do to uh to help me get
this message out to more people because
that's all I'm trying to do you may
notice I'm I'm not selling a course or
or a product or anything like that I'm
I'm literally just trying to help that's
my only goal and you can help me by just
putting my word out there to more people
that's all I'll ever ask okay best of
luck to you take care
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