Modern Gaming.
Summary
TLDRThe video script is a passionate critique of modern gaming's shortcomings, from bloated AAA titles and broken launches to the cynicism of live service models and battle passes. It laments the loss of fun and innovation, criticizes the industry's reliance on remasters, and bemoans the shift from casual enjoyment to a job-like grind. The narrator also expresses frustration with the state of game preservation, digital sales, and the impact of online communities on the gaming experience.
Takeaways
- 😀 The speaker humorously criticizes modern gaming practices, suggesting that they often prioritize monetization over fun and player satisfaction.
- 😅 The script satirizes the reliance on battle passes and microtransactions, likening them to cynical money-making schemes that detract from the gaming experience.
- 😓 The speaker expresses disappointment in the state of AAA game releases, which are often plagued by bugs and incomplete features, yet still attract large audiences.
- 😩 The script laments the decline of local multiplayer and the rise of online services, which have led to a loss of social gaming experiences and an increase in technical issues.
- 😤 The speaker criticizes the trend of re-releasing old games with minimal updates, suggesting that it indicates a lack of innovation in the industry.
- 😐 The script touches on the nostalgia for older games and the frustration with modern gaming's complexity and lack of straightforward fun.
- 😒 There's a critique of the gaming industry's focus on creating cinematic experiences at the expense of engaging gameplay mechanics.
- 😠 The speaker is exasperated with the length of time and resources required to install and maintain modern games, which contrasts with the simplicity of older titles.
- 😔 The script discusses the lack of new and original IPs in the gaming industry, with many games feeling like rehashes or sequels without significant innovation.
- 😕 The speaker reflects on the changing nature of gaming communities, from the excitement of new discoveries to the obligation and grind of keeping up with online gaming trends.
Q & A
Why does the speaker criticize the modern gaming industry's use of battle passes?
-The speaker criticizes battle passes for turning games into a grind for cosmetic items rather than focusing on gameplay and fun, and for pressuring players into progressing in a way that detracts from the natural enjoyment of gaming.
What is the speaker's view on the current state of AAA games?
-The speaker believes that AAA games are often launched in broken states, filled with bugs, and overhyped, leading to disappointment. They also criticize the reliance on promises of future improvements rather than delivering a complete and polished experience at launch.
Why does the speaker mention the Master Chief Collection and its issues?
-The Master Chief Collection is used as an example of modern gaming's problems, where despite the nostalgia and initial excitement, players had to endure technical issues, broken features, and a frustrating user experience before being able to enjoy the games.
What does the speaker imply about the gaming community's reaction to poorly launched AAA games?
-The speaker implies that the gaming community is quick to criticize and express disappointment with AAA games that launch in poor states, yet they continue to support and purchase these games, indicating a cycle of dissatisfaction and continued financial support.
What is the speaker's opinion on the remastering of games?
-The speaker is critical of the remastering of games, seeing it as a cash grab by publishers who charge players again for the same content, often with minimal improvements or updates.
Why does the speaker argue that modern gaming is less fun than ever?
-The speaker argues that modern gaming is less fun due to the focus on monetization, broken launches, overhyped promises, and the loss of simple, enjoyable experiences that were more prevalent in the past.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of backwards compatibility in gaming?
-The speaker values backwards compatibility as it allows players to access and enjoy games from previous generations without issues, criticizing companies like Sony and Nintendo for not embracing quality emulation of their back catalogs.
How does the speaker describe the change in the gaming industry's approach to creativity and innovation?
-The speaker describes a shift from creativity and innovation in the past, with experimental gameplay and unique experiences, to a focus on monetization, remasters, and a lack of new ideas in the modern gaming industry.
What does the speaker suggest about the future of gaming based on the current trends?
-The speaker suggests a bleak future for gaming if the current trends continue, with a focus on monetization over fun, technical issues, and a lack of innovation leading to a decline in the overall enjoyment of gaming.
Why does the speaker express frustration with the modern gaming community's focus on competitive play?
-The speaker is frustrated because the focus on competitive play has led to a loss of casual, easy-to-pick-up games that provided a sense of accomplishment and fun without the pressure of being the best or mastering complex mechanics.
What is the speaker's stance on the use of digital sales and the impact on physical sales?
-The speaker prefers physical sales and is critical of digital sales for their reliance on online servers and licenses, expressing concern that digital games may not be accessible indefinitely and that physical copies are becoming less valuable.
Outlines
🎮 Disillusionment with Modern Gaming Trends
The script laments the state of modern gaming, criticizing the prevalence of battle passes, microtransactions, and the prioritization of graphics over gameplay. It highlights the disappointment of gamers with AAA titles that promise much but often fail to deliver, citing examples like Halo Infinite, Cyberpunk 2077, and No Man's Sky. The nostalgia for older games and the camaraderie of playing them is contrasted with the current gaming landscape, which is described as being filled with broken code, high budgets, and a lack of fun.
😓 The Decline of Social Gaming and Matchmaking
This paragraph discusses the deterioration of social gaming experiences, with a focus on the decline in transparent and enjoyable matchmaking systems. The author criticizes the shift from social playlists to a more competitive environment, where progression is tied to battle passes, pressuring players to grind rather than enjoy the game naturally. The paragraph also touches on the lack of transparency in matchmaking and the frustration of dealing with complex user interfaces and technical issues.
📚 The Overproduction and Lack of Originality in Games
The script criticizes the gaming industry for its lack of originality, pointing out the trend of remasters and reboots that offer little innovation. It mentions the exploitation of beloved franchises like The Last of Us and the Master Chief Collection, with companies seemingly prioritizing profit over quality. The paragraph also expresses frustration with the expectation to repurchase games that have been re-released with minimal improvements.
🕹️ The Necessity of Backwards Compatibility and Emulation
The author argues for the importance of backwards compatibility and quality emulation to preserve the gaming legacy of past consoles. They provide statistics on the number of games available for older systems like the NES, SNES, PlayStation, and N64, questioning why such a small fraction of these games are playable today. The paragraph criticizes Sony and Nintendo for not making better use of their intellectual property and for not providing a satisfactory way for gamers to access and enjoy their classic games.
🎨 The Loss of Creativity and Individuality in Game Design
This paragraph reflects on the bygone era of creative and experimental game design, where gameplay and storytelling were not confined to strict rules. The script contrasts this with the current state of gaming, where creativity is often stifled in favor of high production values and monetization. It also mocks the modern trend of simulators that are overly specific and lack the broad appeal of games from the past.
📈 The Impact of Ubisoft's Formulaic Approach on Gaming
The script criticizes Ubisoft for its formulaic approach to game development, which has led to a sense of obligation and exhaustion among gamers. It discusses the company's reliance on checklists and fetch quests, which have turned games into a chore rather than a source of enjoyment. The paragraph also pokes fun at the idea of subscribing to Ubisoft Plus, questioning the value it adds to a gamer's life given the lack of critically acclaimed games released by the company in recent years.
🏆 The Death of Easy-to-Master Games and the Rise of Competitive Play
The author bemoans the loss of easy-to-pick-up, easy-to-master games, which allowed players to achieve a sense of mastery and satisfaction. They argue that modern games are too focused on online competition, leading to a skill curve that is constantly changing and making it difficult for players to ever feel truly proficient. The paragraph also criticizes the shift away from local multiplayer experiences and the joy of playing games that are intense and fun without the pressure of online rankings.
🌈 The Monotony of Aesthetics in Indie Games
This paragraph criticizes the indie game scene for its overuse of pastel color palettes and low-poly graphics, suggesting that these aesthetics are chosen for nostalgia rather than creativity. The script argues that this trend has led to a lack of visual diversity and innovation in indie games, making them feel monotonous and indistinguishable from one another.
📀 The Stagnation of Game Development for Older Consoles
The script discusses the long console generations and the impact they have on game development, suggesting that many games are still being made with the capabilities of older consoles in mind. This leads to a stagnation in innovation, as developers prioritize compatibility over pushing the boundaries of what is possible. The paragraph calls for a greater focus on innovation and cutting-edge technology in game development.
💸 The Negative Impact of Digital Sales on Physical Gaming
The author criticizes the rise of digital sales in the gaming industry, arguing that they have negatively impacted physical sales and the longevity of games. They express frustration with the reliance on cloud servers and the potential for games to become unplayable when these servers are eventually shut down. The paragraph also criticizes the practice of including key codes in physical game boxes, which ultimately only provide a digital license rather than a tangible product.
🤖 The Infiltration of Discord Bots and the Decline of Community
This paragraph criticizes the overuse of Discord bots and the negative impact they have on gaming communities. The script argues that these bots often spam servers with irrelevant information, detracting from the quality of community interaction. It also expresses a desire for a return to simpler communication platforms like Skype, suggesting that the complexity and rules of Discord servers have made gaming communities less enjoyable.
🕹️ The Transformation of Gaming into an Obligation
The script concludes by lamenting the transformation of gaming from a source of fun and excitement into an obligation. It criticizes the need to keep up with multiplayer meta changes, game sales, and the management of game libraries. The author argues that gaming has become a chore, with the joy and excitement of the past being replaced by cynicism and a sense of duty to maintain relationships and progress in games that often feel broken or incomplete.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Battle Pass
💡Live Service
💡Skill-Based Matchmaking
💡Remasters
💡Backward Compatibility
💡Cinematic Games
💡Indie Games
💡Loot Boxes
💡Gamers
💡Discord
💡Digital Sales
Highlights
Fall Guys' implementation of a battle pass and the modern gaming trend of monetization.
The critique of modern gaming as a 'comfort crutch' and the disillusionment with the current state of gaming.
The comparison of modern gaming to a printer ink that deactivates without sufficient in-game currency.
The lament over the end of the 'cozy, satisfying weekend rental' era for games.
The frustration with AAA game launches being 'bigger, longer, more broken, and less fun'.
The experience of playing old games like Duck Hunt and Jenga on Halo 3 amidst technical issues.
The cynicism towards the industry's focus on high budgets and broken code over player enjoyment.
The critique of AAA games like Halo Infinite, Cyberpunk 2077, and No Man's Sky for their lack of entertainment value.
The argument that consumers continue to buy games despite their disappointments, fueling the cycle of poor game quality.
The discussion of the evolution of multiplayer gaming from social to competitive and the impact on fun.
The critique of the live service model and its effect on game progression and enjoyment.
The commentary on the length of time it takes to install modern games, using Call of Duty as an example.
The criticism of remasters and the industry's lack of innovation, with The Last of Us as a case study.
The desire for backwards compatibility and the frustration with the lack of access to old games.
The critique of PlayStation and Nintendo's failure to emulate their back catalog with quality.
The argument that modern games are overproduced and lack the creativity and excitement of the past.
The commentary on the state of indie games, with a focus on the prevalence of pastel color block aesthetics and low-poly design.
The critique of digital sales and their impact on physical sales, and the preference for owning physical copies of games.
The frustration with the reliance on Discord for gaming communities and the desire to return to simpler communication methods.
The lament over gaming becoming a job-like obligation rather than a source of fun and relaxation.
Transcripts
why does fall guys have a battle pass
you want to escape you want a Whimsical
Adventure you want to fall back on
gaming as a comfort crutch [ __ ] you
grind for cat ears this is modern gaming
don't be fooled by those who claim it's
never been a better time to be a gamer
modern gaming is the dick that'll say
anything I can to [ __ ] you modern gaming
is the printer ink that deactivates
itself if you don't have enough V bucks
modern gaming is the gun I want to use
to kill the era of the complete cozy
satisfying weekend rental is over games
are bigger than ever longer than ever
more broken than ever and worst of all
less fun than ever don't bother getting
your friends together to play the quirky
multiplayer mini-games from ATV off-road
Fury too they're [ __ ] done the guys
at the top are done they figured it out
video games are done recently my friends
and I got together to play some old fun
games facilitated by the Master Chief
Collection a collection of all the Halo
games before Halo 5. exactly zero people
knew how invites worked data installs
for specific games worked or how any of
the cursed and wretched uis worked file
shares were broken clients were crashing
but we all [ __ ] worked through it
until we were finally able to experience
the Bliss that is duck hunt and Jenga on
Halo 3 but that's what modern gaming is
now a morsel of fun wrapped in the most
cynical pudding of broken code and 500
million dollar budgets never exist all
right listen this is gonna be an
unorganized video and uh we're going to
jump from topic to topic there's
literally zero way to organize my
disdain and cynicism for this industry
that currently stands so let's just
pretend that this is a list video what's
the list video called top 18 reasons
modern gaming has made my dick stop
working number one Halo infinite and
cyberpunk 2077 and no man's sky and
Madden NFL and Battlefield and Star
Citizen AAA games hate you they hate the
notion that they'd have to actually
Entertain You So instead they just wish
upon a star and promise it'll all come
together someday every Madden game
that's released is trashed by the pros
and littered with bugs literally every
ambitious video game launches in the
state that no man's Sky did quote
unquote everything simulators like Star
Citizen that promised the world rob you
blind and [ __ ] your dog cyberpunk 2077
had the audacity to have a great art
style an amazing soundtrack while also
enacting Poland's wish for its very own
Divine showcase for overhyped technical
buffoonery and Halo infinite has the
otherworldly nerve to make a road map
announcing the beta for match XP as a
[ __ ] feature needless to say very few
developers have the ability to Reign it
in and have a pep talk good enough to
stop smoking meth in the [ __ ] break
room long enough to turn their games
around Hello Games is the shining
example everyone loves to bring up with
how they turn no man's sky around from a
broken unplayable mass of [ __ ] to
something that people pretend is fun to
play a pure sandbox without fluid feel
still sounds like a bad time to me but
hey some journalists change their rating
so we all better go on Twitter until the
message the consensus has changed
why even bother releasing the game in 14
months when we can release it
in 15 minutes
Todd Howard I haven't even finished the
wall Textures in the first level 14
minutes and 50 six seconds typing any
video game up these days just leaves you
with the same feeling you get when a
beautiful girl doesn't appreciate your
hard-earned 100 save file in Sonic
Adventure 2. disappointment my Chow can
run circles around you Francine their
Champion Fighters and can fly high so
they can reach the highest of all the
heavens Francine Why Don't You Love Me
Francis number two you keep buying it
these games demonstrate the bare minimum
for what could be considered software
and the market is spoken we'll be angry
but God damn it take my money even
though nobody plays these games after
launch they line up to buy it it makes
my [ __ ] jaw drop the amount of raw
unfiltered hardened Diamond Eyes
reinforced ionized copium surrounding
the rocky launch of AAA games with half
a billion dollar budgets is too much you
all need to snap out of it and do
something more worth your time and money
like getting a payday loan everyone
[ __ ] knows you're gonna spend it on
FIFA's Ultimate Team anyway you stupid
[ __ ] idiot number three
making is dumb now in 2007 Bungie
dropped the Angelic sex toy that was
Halo 3 kept you coming back for more in
the orgasms only got better you got to
play the game with your friends Finding
matches was transparent the ux was fat
and thick those pre and post-game Lobby
fights the service records and even The
Limited events before the live service
battle passes of modern day rock hard
flaccid
titanium
tinfoil crunchy peanut butter store
brand expired smooth brain peanut butter
what once was a valuable tool for
matching players into fun and engaging
matches morphed into the half-working
algorithm that ranks the percentage
chance you'd [ __ ] someone on okcupid.com
skill based matchmaking or similar
backpack marmalade takes your stats and
matches it with some other basement
dweller with stats agonizingly similar
so that you can have a neat precise
Bleak gray
infographic 50 win rate No More social
playlists just sweat and unemployment if
you're not smoking enough crack to keep
up with these little shits that just got
picked up from detention then get ready
for the extremely clever [ __ ] talking in
the DMS so yeah you're gay
what happened to fun what happened to
progression derp how many challenges do
I have to complete today to unlock male
fertility progression used to mean
steady progress no matter what XP coming
at you baby nice job in that last match
you did really well and you're improving
good job battle passes ruined
matchmaking because you're pressured
into the natural need to progress no
longer are you drunkily making Bets with
your friends trying to no scope noobs
upside down on the couch with the blood
rushing to your head you've effectively
evolved into the kids washed up Adderall
dealer sweating hard and long enough to
get 35 kill streaks to unlock the weed
b-90 matchmaking isn't fun it's not
transparent and you can't even see how
many players are online anymore unless
you read too closely at Dev blogs
talking about [ __ ] playlist health or
frown long enough until you're magically
looking at steamcharts.com and it fills
me with an endless Solas void wishing
for my own death and that's if you can
even bear how long it takes to install
the [ __ ] game you want to play
speaking of number four it takes the
latter half of your adolescent years for
Call of Duty to install
uh hey what's up man yeah you're taking
down the internet for the whole [ __ ]
apartment complex could you please get
off I mean Jesus Christ listen man I'm
just saying it's not that good number
five remasters of remasters of have my
[ __ ] shelf is remasters you know God
[ __ ] forbid the industry come up with
a new idea reboot this reboot that
reboot my foot up my own ass and charge
me 70 bucks The Last of Us was
originally released to critical Acclaim
and then re-released one year later to
critical Acclaim and then re-released
again in 2022 with a shiny new title and
the critics finally shot on it
just kidding it released a critical
Acclaim don't get me wrong I shotgun hot
cold cans of member berries just as much
as the next aging depressed tumbler fan
but we all roll over like a happy
[ __ ] puppy when we learn Publishers
want to charge us again for the same
[ __ ] game there's never been one
single re-release with bad reception
except for all of these titles and even
then they become the definitive
nickel but honestly kind of funny that
343 slapped what was basically a fan mod
texture pack on one of the most beloved
video games of all time and boxed it up
with its own artwork that looks like it
was copied from some 240p Xbox 720
console concept designed YouTube video
and patted themselves on the back and
said holy [ __ ] we are so [ __ ] awesome
that we're gonna focus on every single
wrong key area possible and [ __ ] all
over the Goodwill of the most patient
fan base in existence in perpetuity
games like the Master Chief collection
and ironically the new Last of Us Part 1
PC Port should have been NBA Street
Volume 2 style slam dunks where all they
had to do was not screw it up it took
Master Chief Collection almost five
years to be considered playable and I'm
sure the Last of Us Part One will go the
route of the GTA Trilogy Where marketing
will claim the game is fixed with a huge
patch even though it wasn't and promptly
abandoned since there's no battle pass
now I want to make something very clear
I want to play these old games I want to
be able to prove that I own a copy of a
game from another generation and be able
to play it no questions asked that's
just a little tight butthole called
backwards compatibility what would
simplify this mess emulate the game
instead of partying it number six why
can't PlayStation and Nintendo realize
they're back catalog with quality
emulation the Nintendo entertainment
system came out in 1983 and has about
720 games the Super Nintendo
entertainment system came out in 1990
and has about
1750 games the Sony PlayStation came out
in 1995 and has about 3060 games the
Nintendo 64 came out in 1996 and has
about 390 games one of them being
Ocarina of Time which Dylan won't shut
the [ __ ] up about in his mid at best the
PlayStation 2 came out in the sizzling
year 2000 and has a whopping 4 379 games
the Nintendo GameCube came out in 2001
and has about 652 games in total that's
roughly 10 900 games how many of these
games can you still play today one I'm
pretty sure Bandicoot 2 works pretty
good with an emulator Sony and Nintendo
both called me on the phone and said
shut the [ __ ] up you idiot God you're
stupid you don't even deserve to see
color you're so [ __ ] stupid the whole
world should be in black and white their
words not mine the fact that Sony and
Nintendo have so many IPS wasting away
will never make sense to me for the
jaded audience like me all I want is
access to the games during the era you
used to be cutting edge and exciting
compared to today everything is soft
rounded safe and monetized back in the
day fmvs were weird and experimental
gameplay never had a single rule as to
how it needed to be controlled and
creativity was at an all-time high now
today's bastions of creativity live on
the coked out Boards of 4chan or
overrealized over inflated overly
specific simulators launched on
Kickstarter such as eyebrow piercing and
butthole enema simulator number seven
all PlayStation games are c-tier AMC
dramas
you got games like God of War or Horizon
forbidden West sprinkle next to these
double a roguelikes such as fraternal
that's Sony's entire modern Library
here's my point a game doesn't have to
be a cinematic Masterpiece there's other
ways to keep a player engaged but it
can't be fun according to this guy this
guy and this guy Sony games are
cynically overproduced TV shows and to
illustrate that I'll introduce you to
Jeremy Jeremy has seen some Marvel
movies when he was a kid won't shut up
about breaking bad and unironically
watched some shows on the CW Jeremy is
going to play God of War Ragnarok and
Horizon forbidden West five times each
because everyone on Reddit is discussing
the lore of all the moments he was too
bored to focus on Jeremy also feels the
obligation to join constructive Reddit
threads about the merits of the 100
million dollar video game Jeremy also
pretends to have always loved Spider-Man
before buying the PS4 game Jeremy has
nothing to do with himself because he's
alone and undriven Jeremy has depression
Jeremy is going to re-watch Breaking Bad
a few more times and play God of War
again Jeremy has to move some install
falls off his secondary drive to the
internal drive and that's probably going
to take an hour Jeremy figures he'll try
a new video game like pizza Tower but
it's unfamiliar to him Jeremy can't
sleep at night Jeremy is going to play
Horizon forbidden West Jeremy overeats
Jeremy got rejected by the girl at work
Jeremy is going to join a forum for Sony
game fan fiction Jeremy is insecure and
feels like he's learned Nothing in life
Jeremy is going to binge watch Better
Call Saul Jeremy is going to play The
Last of Us Part Two Jeremy is
surprisingly still alive number eight
new original IPS are literally just
bio-mutant 5.5 out of 10. start a game
company and make a new IP know what
you're gonna make bio mutant it's a
halfway semi-decent creative idea that's
too ambitious to fully flesh out in a
satisfiable manner for any player and
everyone walks away full of empty
calories and says you can have pretty
Graphics you can have smooth gameplay
but the second you prioritize those two
things over an immersive and creative
gameplay Loop your EA Games challenge
everything this concept isn't new either
crucify my dick but Fable is a perfect
example of this the original Fable
Trilogy is exactly indicative of this
phenomenon I'm talking about engaging
visuals smooth enough gameplay and a
continuing complicated case of bulimia
those games had zero narrative worth
paying attention to zero gameplay
addicting enough to engage with the
world propped up with paint and plywood
and worst of all Peter molynew marketed
it connecting people together and
allowing them to tap on this massive
Cube and I said and I'm known for these
things I said there's something amazing
in the side number nine you
you be soft everyone knows Ubisoft games
or checklists they're the embodiment of
fetch quests and guilt through progress
bar Ubisoft ruined gaming they sucked
all the fun out level gated everything
calling it a [ __ ] RPG and turned
gaming from something exciting
challenging and inspirational into
something so rounded basic and
comfortable that it wouldn't be
surprising if the next Assassin's Creed
game came with a five dollar McDonald's
coupon
Ubisoft plus is an extremely appropriate
move for the company acting as yet
another layer of obligation for these
depressed and unfulfilled cubicle water
bags with wives who hate them to
distract themselves from the fact that
the child they had didn't fix their
broken Spirit bust out the wiki and walk
through Jon it's time to 100 the game
before your wife burns your dinner
here's a list of things you can buy with
that money instead an artisanal sandwich
15 things at the dollar store a second
phone line to hide the fact that you're
cheating on your wife or burning your
[ __ ] dinner get access to all the
upcoming Ubisoft games on day one
including their back catalog 14.99 a
month okay let's think about what kind
of value that money adds to your life
every service has to have a value ad
right okay what's the last great video
game you played truly great I'm willing
to bet that whatever game it was crack
90 on Metacritic how many games do you
think Ubisoft released that cracked 90
on Metacritic in the last 10 years go
ahead I'll give you some time to guess
I'll give you a hint it's one syllable
all right the answer is actually nine
games so if we divide that by one every
year we get almost a great game every
year oh just kidding the answer is
actually three so you're paying 15 a
month and you don't even get a coin
Flip's chance to play a great game that
year wow oh just kidding I lied the
answer is one one [ __ ] game and it
was almost exactly 10 years ago Rayman
Legends great game love this game more
people should have played it maybe I
should subscribe to Ubisoft yelling
aside that's based basically zero great
games a decade in case you're a high
school dropout subscribe to Ubisoft plus
playing number 10 Far Cry a billion Far
Cry 6 is the equivalent of those web
apps that show your percentage
progression through their curated
onboarding tutorials you know and once
you're done
[ __ ] it I don't know here's some [ __ ]
that's been around since just cause 2.
everyone on Reddit and Google Plus and
vote knows that Ubisoft released Far Cry
3 and said oh
[ __ ] yeah and then kept releasing the
exact same game for over 10 years here's
what you get in Far Cry 3 constant
shitty Random Encounters brain dead AI
an incomprehensible dog [ __ ] mess of a
story The Bottom tier worst crafting
mechanics known to game designers
horrible driving horrible quests a cop
out sandbox that everyone pretends is
super engaging to mess around with
because three guys recorded a few
quote-unquote
gifts on Reddit and a sincere lack of
anyone that gave a single [ __ ] about
getting it to Market Far Cry is a money
printer a money printer that requires a
lighting update once every four to five
years blood dragon might have been fun
but I stopped caring while I was writing
this sentence number 11 valve where
that
[Applause]
or you know where where are you valve is
legendary they've released some of the
most influential and critically
acclaimed games ever made and basically
lowered the barrier of entry for PC
gaming as a whole steam changed PC
gaming it unified all their products
mods and their Community they pumped
that storefront out released a bunch of
hats created entire economies and became
the first program any PC Gamer installs
when they're shiny new parts pre-built
Tower and gaming laptop arrived in the
mail a comfy portal rivaling that of the
blade era of the Xbox 360 dashboard oh
yeah Half-Life released in Holiday 1998
after forming just two years prior by
Future chungeloid Gabe Newell and Mike
Harrington it used a tantalizing
cocktail of In-House code and the
engines for both Quake 1 and Quake 2. it
blew Gamer's minds and gave them all
orgasms it's still a joy to play to this
day because of how immersive it actually
is and holds up very well in general
presentation with passion drive and a
lack of sleep all before everyone
cracked down on crunch culture
originating from people who actually
gave a [ __ ] about the games they
developed like Bungie creating Halo
valve created a masterpiece that holds
up today a few ports even released to
the Dreamcast and PS2 as well this is
where valve started and games like this
from new Studios just don't happen
anymore what was the last good brand new
IP from a freshly formed Studio
experiment 101 and bio mutant do we have
to go over that point again bio mutant
5.5 out of 10 after Half-Life valve just
put out bangers expansions commercial
packages of legendary fan made mods a
new physics engine that's totally not a
big deal didn't [ __ ] change the rules
of the industry or anything a 10 out of
10 sequel that sadly left without its
own 10 out of 10 sequel but the fanfic
Community gets a solid C plus a puzzle
game with a cute Cube that has probably
one of the most sleeper songs during the
credit scene that I'm pretty sure no one
except me has heard of trust me you
wouldn't be into it this was a Triumph
the Hat economy game the world's best
zombie horde game second only to back
for blood back back for blood
really honestly is the best
horde video game
what do you mean
well I mean clear it's got better
graphics it's got like
you can it has like modern Technologies
I'm gonna bomb this apartment I'll go I
can't talk I'm being serious right no
back for blood is better than left for
dead you're full [ __ ] shut the [ __ ]
up no the cards they're like visually
appealing no back for blood is better
than left for dead kill yourself League
of Legends but better than League of
Legends as informed by people I talk to
who sometimes played League of Legends
back in 2014 and a bunch of other cool
awesome [ __ ] that's industry leading
like Half-Life Alex how the wait are you
serious a bunch of this [ __ ] is VR Tech
demos how the [ __ ] was there a six-year
gap between this and are you serious
valve where the [ __ ] are you sure you've
got the steam deck and you fumbled
drunkenly back when you release the
Steam Machines but no other game
developer has such a solid and
consistent Community excitedly modding
your games making memes or whatever
except for maybe Bethesda but they just
ended up yelling at the Fallout engine
until it agreed to try to be a live
service if valve made an RPG any at all
and put it on Source it'd smack everyone
in the balls get those [ __ ] puzzle
dudes create new Concepts for exciting
new and engaging mechanics valve is the
closest thing we have to some kind of
Open Source game developer if they put
out anything at all maybe the
conversation would shift away from
companies like Ubisoft or Activision or
number 12 EA squandered EA sports
EA sells sports games fit's got a turf
or a court or a field EA's got a game
for it most of these games are released
yearly with game breaking bugs broken
Cloud Integrations that completely wipe
multiplayer season progress and the
battle pass to end all battle passes
Ultimate Team it's a loot box game mode
what's a loot box a loot box is a slot
machine that's it you pay money you play
the slots every video game actually had
them for about three years until some
people bitched about CS go and Star Wars
Battlefront 2. it's a racket to take
advantage of the potential gambling
addicts in the previously untapped
Market of literal [ __ ] children you
put money in you get athletes with
different ratings make your own team
with those athletes I don't know call it
an ultimate team you pay lots of money
get dispensed mostly [ __ ] until you
finally get a diamond and still get
stomped stacking your team against
people online because no amount of stats
is gonna hide the fact that the only
word in your vocabulary is bruh before
all of this Ultimate Team loot box
chicanery there existed experimentation
excitement and fun one under an actual
EA label and that label was EA Sports
big NFL Street SSX NBA Street FIFA
Street these games really made you feel
like you were Batman these games totally
captured the spirit of extreme sports at
the time the X Games were everywhere and
Doritos were going ape [ __ ] with all
their flavors so EA put out a
snowboarding game where you can flip
your character in every direction jump
off painted metal ramps and
unrealistically grind on a chain link
fence SSX was very well reviewed so they
capitalized on that with a little remix
but let's just go ahead and call it a
sequel SSX tricky this game was Bonkers
there was no limit to what could be
described as a trick hands feet and log
defying physics were everywhere all
while the game blasts run dmc's It's
Tricky the insanity doesn't end there's
a DJ that's scratching records and
announcing your tricks you're doing the
worm or turning into a helicopter and
this game was [ __ ] hard AI is
aggressive and fast learn those
shortcuts because you're gonna need them
also be prepared to restart the
[ __ ] trick events until you
actually land that triple Rodeo Uber
trick while nabbing the goddamn times 5
multiplier ssx3 is objectively better
though seamless snowboarding
mountaineering from Peak 3 to Peak One
with DJ atomica was dope as [ __ ] NFL
Street was the other game I played a lot
as a kid I loved football and NFL Street
loved me it was a fast-paced and
wonderfully exaggeratingly animated
version of the sport and it was easy to
pick up and play the game was unfairly
challenging towards the end of the
career mode since it relies so heavily
on in-game stats but that just made it
more fun to fully max out a character in
the way you intended the outfits are a
complete joke but exaggeration was key
here your characters jump a million
goddamn feet in the air to catch a ball
every movement is definitely big play
this game with your friends and every
play is going to be a screaming match
games need to be as intense as this
these days and they just aren't and as
far as I'm concerned NBA Street holds
the crown of being the only sports game
in the world to make chain counters fun
it's basketball but with all these
little moves that consume turbo and add
to a meter called the game breaker score
a bunch of moves back to back before
making a sick dunk your opponent is
going to [ __ ] a brick cause they are
[ __ ] the game breaker makes you op as
hell for one play and can take points
away from your opponent while you score
some buffoonery that does not exist in
modern gaming scoring points has never
been as fun as in these EA Sports big
games the overall presentation and feel
of these games is still downright
exhilarating while they are not in
contention for being the best
competitive games in the world you could
argue that their nature of being easy to
pick up and relatively easy to master
was what sold the entire experience
speaking of which number 13 not enough
easy to pick up easy to master games
thanks to the fact that every game these
days is connected to the [ __ ]
internet try hards are always finding
new and innovative ways to measure their
dicks every game is competitive which
means if you want to master a game good
luck mastering that game against the
millions of players trying to master the
game the skill distribution is literally
a bell curve so if you want to be really
good chances are you never will be but
if you go back in time to play something
like ssx3 you never had that constant
element of the skill ceiling changing on
you the AI or game was hard coded and
you could breach their ability
definitively I would 100 put money on
the fact that Gamers today are way more
insecure about their gamer abilities
than they were 20 years ago gone I say
gone are the days of trying to impress
other awkward people by proclaiming
you're a epic gamer now everyone just
plays fortnite on their phones while
watching GTA 5 role play streams in the
background get up Joshua dinner was
ready 40 minutes ago also your dad found
out about your progress report so start
crying Hydro Thunder hurricane crash
team racing all those Nintendo
Platformers Spyro the Dragon Halo
campaigns Rhythm games like Guitar Hero
and rock band spend enough time in these
games and you almost certainly would
become very good you might not top the
leaderboards on speedrun.com but you
almost always reached a sense of Nirvana
playing a game efficiently with great
mechanics in a trance-like state those
tricks and SSX that you land that just
net you the three question mark man
that's a good feeling do you get the
same feeling play Modern Warfare 2
Search and Destroy no who cares if
you're slightly better than a seventh
grader indie games May scratch the sitch
but I got a bone to pick with them
number 14 every indie game is a color
blocked low poly roguelike too many
indie games or roguelites and have a
pastel color block aesthetic and our low
poly solely for the sake of monostalgia
that's it that's the point number 15 all
games are still made for PS2 I don't
have a lot to say about this category
but console Generations are too long the
one that felt the longest was the gap
between the Xbox 360 and the PS3 jumping
to the Xbox One and PS4 truth be told
gaming still felt pretty shitty to play
on Console during that period that was
the best ERA to be a PC Gamer so you
could brag to your friends that you have
things like a high refresh rate monitor
and a liquid CPU Cooler that you won't
maintain at all gaming on consoles got a
huge quality of life improvement with
this latest generation of series
consoles in the PS5 but most games are
still developed with the previous
generation in mind game makers are
constantly sacrificing Cutting Edge
technology for people stuck in the past
and granted it may be a difficult
situation to get out of but I don't care
Innovation is important damn it number
16 digital sales are complete
[ __ ] digital sales ruined physical
sales most of the time when you buy a
console game there's nothing on that
disc other than a license and the
uncaring Blu-ray letters staring back at
your worthless fat face buy a game
digitally great you'll get to play it
forever right oh
to keep this point short you should be
able to buy a license for something and
use it indefinitely relying on cloud
servers to stay online forever for me to
download the game My will 20 years from
now is obviously [ __ ] because one
day the servers will be gone so that's
why I opt to buy the physical games so
imagine my frustration when these
[ __ ] just put key codes in the
box and call it a day nailed it my Xbox
discs will be worthless one day since
all they're good for is a digital
license or maybe a broken pre-pre-alpha
version of cyberpunk 2077 burn to them
or some [ __ ] like that number 17
everything is a Discord bot
[ __ ] Discord the UI sucks the
notifications are [ __ ] annoying every
server has like a billion asinine rules
everyone on there is terminally online
it doesn't know what the concept of
having the life or grass is and every
server has that one channel where all it
does is spew out bot generated garbage
that exactly zero percent of people care
about but one moderator enabled the bot
because they thought it would be cool
get off Discord let's all go back to
Skype and number 18. thanks to the
[ __ ] internet gaming is now a job you
need to keep up on multiplayer meta
balance changes game sales mil Sim
Discord Clans DLC what games are
functional which are completely broken
and which platform that's applicable to
grinding battle passes moving games
around your drives because these
companies turned you into your own
personal [ __ ] librarian for their
uncompressed audio files and fan made
Wiki instructions on how to play these
obtuse janky games made in unity with
poorly made or zero to tutorials gaming
is not fun it's an obligation it's
maintaining broken relationships with
people on Discord who have BPD so you
have someone to play chivalry with once
every two months it's grinding out a
battle pass because developers paywall
satisfying multiplayer progression it's
staring at your own library for 30
minutes unable to decide what to play
next installing uninstalling and moving
games from drive to drive it's a
transparent memory of something that was
exciting it's cynical it's the opposite
of fun it's over
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