Top 5 Self Improvement Mistakes
Summary
TLDRIn this reflective video, Adonis shares his journey of self-improvement, highlighting the common mistakes he made along the way. He discusses the pitfalls of inattentive content consumption, the importance of honesty in habit tracking, the necessity of taking action over mere contemplation, overcoming fear to make significant life changes, and the wisdom of recognizing the right 'season' for personal growth versus social engagement. His candid narrative serves as a guide for young men navigating their self-improvement paths, emphasizing the need for focus, accountability, and courage.
Takeaways
- 😀 Focused Consumption: The importance of paying full attention to content for better learning and improving attention span.
- 😥 Honesty in Habit Tracking: Being truthful with oneself about completed habits to avoid self-deception and foster real progress.
- 🤔 Action Over Analysis: Recognizing that taking action is more crucial for self-improvement than just thinking or journaling about it.
- 😨 Embracing Fear: Understanding that fear is natural when making big changes, but courage means feeling the fear and acting anyway.
- 😣 Avoiding Distractions: Identifying and eliminating distractions, such as social media, that hinder one's focus on self-improvement.
- 👫 Seasonal Priorities: Acknowledging that different life stages may require different priorities, such as focusing on self before seeking relationships.
- 🚶♂️ Individual Growth: The necessity of personal growth and healing before engaging in new relationships or social activities.
- 🔄 Adapting to Change: Learning to adapt to new environments and changes for personal development, even if it feels uncomfortable initially.
- 📝 Accountability: The value of being accountable for one's actions and habits as a key component of self-improvement.
- 🛑 Recognizing Mistakes: The script emphasizes that recognizing and learning from mistakes is an integral part of personal growth.
- 🌱 Self-Reflection: Encouraging self-reflection to identify current habits or behaviors that may be hindering one's self-improvement journey.
Q & A
Why does Hamza keep changing his content style in the video?
-The script does not explicitly state why Hamza changes his content style, but it implies that his evolution in content style is part of his self-improvement journey and learning from mistakes.
What is the first self-improvement mistake that Adonis talks about in the script?
-The first mistake Adonis mentions is not consuming content mindfully, as he used to flick through videos and recommended sidebars instead of focusing on the content at hand, which worsened his attention span.
What is the action step suggested for improving attention span according to the script?
-The action step suggested is to make the video full screen and watch it for as much time as available without the urge to click away or change things, which helps in increasing attention span.
Why did Adonis feel like a 'dirty little man' in the script?
-Adonis felt that way because he lied about completing his meditation habit by ticking off a box on his habit tracker even though he hadn't actually meditated.
What lesson did Adonis learn from his habit tracker mistake?
-Adonis learned the importance of staying accountable and being honest with his self-improvement actions. He realized that leaving an unchecked box serves as a reminder and a motivator to complete the habit the next day.
What was the mistake Adonis made regarding his journaling habit?
-Adonis spent a lot of time journaling about decisions and thoughts without taking actual action, which led to no real improvement in his life.
What is the action step for addressing the issue of journaling without action?
-The action step is to identify the topics or decisions often journaled about and then take concrete action on them, as nothing changes until action is taken.
What fear did Adonis have to overcome when considering moving out of his apartment?
-Adonis had to overcome the fear of change and leaving a familiar environment, which was hindering his personal growth.
What is the lesson Adonis learned from his mistake of being afraid to make decisions?
-Adonis learned that courage is the skill of feeling fear but doing the action anyway, and that fear should not prevent making necessary changes in life.
What was the mistake Adonis made after moving back home for self-improvement?
-Adonis made the mistake of spending time on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, which distracted him from his self-improvement goals and led to sleep deprivation.
What is the personal learning lesson from Adonis' mistake of using dating apps?
-The lesson was recognizing the season of life he was in, which required focus on self-improvement rather than distractions like dating, and understanding that there will be other seasons for social life and relationships.
What is the final action step suggested in the script for the viewers?
-The final action step is to comment on the video sharing one's self-improvement story and the mistakes they are working on overcoming, which helps in personal growth and assists others by sharing experiences.
Outlines
🧘♂️ Overcoming Distractions in Self-Improvement
The speaker, Jeffrey, begins by discussing his initial foray into self-improvement, highlighting the common mistake of not fully engaging with educational content. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on one piece of content at a time to improve attention span. Jeffrey then introduces Adonis, who has made numerous self-improvement mistakes but has grown from them. Adonis reflects on the fear of making mistakes and shares his experiences from 2020, where he consumed content in a scattered manner, affecting his learning. He advises viewers to resist the urge to click away and to watch content attentively to enhance their focus and learning.
📝 The Pitfalls of Dishonesty and Inaction in Habit Building
Jeffrey transitions into discussing the importance of honesty and action in building habits. He recounts a personal anecdote from 2020 where he dishonestly marked off habits on a habit tracker even though he hadn't completed them, leading to a lack of progress. He contrasts this with the realization that leaving unchecked boxes on a habit tracker can motivate action due to the discomfort of admitting failure. Jeffrey also shares his experience with journaling, where he spent time writing without taking action, which ultimately did not lead to any life improvements. The lesson here is that action is essential for change, and one should not merely dwell on thoughts or writing without executing them.
🤯 Courage Over Comfort: Facing Fear to Make Changes
The narrative continues with Jeffrey discussing the fear that held him back from making significant life changes, such as moving out of an unhealthy environment. He admits to being paralyzed by the fear of change and the comfort of familiarity. However, he learned that courage means feeling the fear and taking action anyway. Jeffrey shares a side note about his second channel, where he posts raw, unedited videos, including one about conquering the fear of heights. He encourages viewers to identify their fears and take action despite them, using his own experience of ending a long-term relationship as an example of facing fear to initiate change.
🌙 Balancing Self-Improvement and Personal Life
In the final paragraph, Jeffrey talks about the mistake of neglecting self-needs in pursuit of social interactions. After moving back home to focus on self-improvement, he found himself wasting time on dating apps, which detracted from his goals. He realized that he needed to prioritize his mental health and personal growth over social activities. Jeffrey's lesson was to recognize the season of life he was in and to adjust his actions accordingly. He advises viewers to assess their current life stage and whether they need solitude for self-improvement or are ready to engage in social activities. He concludes by urging viewers to share their self-improvement stories in the comments, fostering a sense of community and support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Meditation
💡Self-improvement
💡Mistakes
💡Attention Span
💡Accountability
💡Action
💡Fear
💡Environment
💡Courage
💡Seasons of Life
Highlights
Jeffrey's observation of Hamza's content style changes and its impact on meditation.
Adonis's journey of self-improvement through learning from mistakes.
The importance of focusing attention span while consuming educational content.
The action step of watching content in full screen to enhance attention.
The pitfalls of dishonesty in habit tracking and its effects on self-improvement.
The realization of the necessity to stay accountable for true progress.
The paradox of journaling extensively without taking action leading to stagnation.
The distinction between the value of reflection and the necessity of action.
Overcoming the fear of making decisions by embracing courage.
The personal story of moving out of a familiar environment for growth.
The importance of recognizing and embracing the right season for social life.
The self-realization of the consequences of spending time on dating apps instead of self-focus.
The lesson of prioritizing self-improvement over distractions.
The call to action for viewers to share their self-improvement stories in the comments.
The introduction of Adonis's second channel for more personal and unedited content.
The emphasis on the value of community and joining Adonis's free self-improvement groups.
The final action step to engage with the content and the community for continued growth.
Transcripts
Jeffrey starts watching Hamza wow this
is so cool and wait wait wait why does
he keep changing his content style sorry
[Music]
Jeffrey sorry guys he's finally about to
start meditating but he gets a
notification it's Jessica will Jeffrey
ruin his meditation
session
Adonis Adonis has made every single
self-improvement mistake known to man
and also known to the aliens and the AI
Bots and all of them wow he's collected
them
all but it's interesting the more
mistakes that Adonis makes the more that
he has grown Adonis looks around and
wonders why the men of today are so
scared of making mistakes mistake number
one so back in 2020 4 years ago I was
just getting onto self-improvement for
the first time and I went on to my
computer and I'd be watching these
videos like how to get out of a rout how
to start meditating but I was doing it
in the worst way instead of letting it
just play and I could learn and kind of
invest into the video I would flick
through and start looking at the sidebar
of the recommended videos and start
scrolling down and everything if you're
consuming content like this and you're
fully focused and you're watching like a
fulllength podcast or something awesome
cuz that's education but I was literally
flicking around worsening my attention
span and not even learning anything take
your grubby hands off the the mouse or
the laptop or the phone and just watch
it with your full attention and so your
action step right now is to make this
video full screen and just watch it for
as much time as you have you know if
you're in a rush I'm not going to tell
you like force yourself to watch it all
the way through because it's good for my
revenue or anything but the seconds or
minutes that you do have to watch this
video put it in full screen and just
watch it just resist that urge of
clicking away of changing things because
when you resist that urge that's how
your attention span goes up as well
mistake number two so I was in the bed
room of my apartment and I was drawing
up this habit tracker so this is back in
like 2020 as well right kind of like
this one I pin it up into the wall and
it's got like meditation journaling
whatever later on that day I'm going to
take off the boxes and there's one box
that I haven't done it was
meditation I look at the box for a few
seconds and I just tick it
anyway I just lied I thought that I'd
feel kind of you know better about that
because you it was going to be a bit
embarrassing if I didn't take the box
but almost right away I felt like such a
dirty little man and it was the most
interesting thing I actually didn't
improve and start meditating more by
doing that if anything I probably
started to meditate less I learned this
lesson over like a few weeks where you
know I kept on like lying and checking
off the boxes that I didn't do
eventually something hit me and I was
like wait if you leave the box unchecked
which feels uncomfortable because you're
admitting like you messed up that
negative pain would probably cause you
to take it more seriously and make sure
that you check it off the next day and I
realized I had been cheating myself from
more progress not just you know I was
lying and not holding myself accountable
but that I would have made more progress
if I was just honest because I would
have had this very clear indicator that
I had been slacking on meditation so I
can figure out how to add more
meditation so the mistake was not
staying accountable and being dishonest
with my self-improvement actions and my
Learning lesson from this was literally
just be honest have the Habit tracker
but if you miss a day leave it unchecked
because when you leave it unchecked and
your mind automatically looks at it and
you're like oh man you know I missed
that day or whatever it is like I missed
missed being in ketosis yesterday it
kind of like makes you take it a little
bit more seriously the next day so even
though it hurts admitting that you
messed up you'll be less likely to mess
up if you stay honest so your action
step here is to draw up your habit
tracker just like this one here with
whatever habits you think you need right
now and then to stay honest and don't
likee mistake number three so I'm in
that apartment a few years ago and I'm
sat there journaling in this notepad
right and my fingers are aching you know
when you Journal so much that your
fingers literally hurt right so my
fingers are aching one page go over and
two pages Boom the next day I'm
journaling and my fingers are aching the
next day I'm journaling and my fingers
are ating and the next and the next and
the next for weeks I'm journaling I'm
deciding I'm thinking but my life didn't
actually change the mistake was that I I
was doing all of this like you know
journaling and thinking and planning and
all of that stuff but I wasn't actually
taking action my Learning lesson from
this mistake was doing those things like
journaling and thinking that it's really
nice it's really powerful but it's not
the work the work is the work the work
is literally you turning everything off
and then meditating the work is you
hitting the gym the work is you sending
that text message or the voice message
to someone that you need to speak to the
work is making that decision that's
tough right that's the work
thinking about it is not the work
journaling about it is not the work I
spent weeks of my life just journaling
about stuff without actually taking
action and so nothing improved for me so
your action step is to just pause for a
second and think about the topic or the
thing or the decision that you often
Journal about or you think about and
then take [ __ ] action on it cuz
nothing changes until you take action
you can write multiple journals but
nothing changes in fact that's exactly
what I was doing at this point like this
is brutal to say I wanted to break up
with my girlfriend right this this was
like four five years ago right and I
used to journal about that decision
almost every day for months for months I
Journal till my fingers hurt on this
decision but I was just too afraid to
make the decision and I didn't take any
action on it and so my life didn't
improve I used to journal about wanting
to quit weed but I didn't take any
action and so my life didn't improve and
speaking of being afraid mistake number
four I remember debating the decision to
change my environment and basically move
out of that apartment that I was in in
like early 2020 and so I would think
about it all the time I would Journal
about it and I was just so afraid so it
was this big decision should I move back
home to my parents house because that
environment that I was currently in I
was in like this apartment with this
girl that I didn't really have a good
relationship with I was talking weed all
the time it wasn't good for my growth
day in day out I used to think about
this decision but I was so scared of
making a change because I was just used
to this life and it was familiar for me
and so I delayed the decision so much
because of just of fear my Learning
lesson from that mistake is that you're
going to have fear to make big changes
in your life especially away from
something that feels familiar but you
need courage courage is the skill of
feeling fear
but doing it anyway when I learned that
something clicked and I was like oh so
when you feel fear you don't have to
listen to it it gave me permission to be
afraid of something but then to do it
anyway a quick side note if you're
subscribed to my second Channel I post
like kind of shorter weirder like
unedited videos right and one of the
videos I just posted there is called 17
minutes of fear and it's me conquering
my fear of like heights and jumping into
water it's something that I'm like quite
afraid of right I don't know what it is
my legs just kind of lock up and I'm up
on this like little bridge above water
for 17 minutes whil friend after friend
comes over to me to try and encourage me
to jump and for 17 minutes I'm literally
just coping on
there that's it let's go let's go you
got it Courage is the skill of feeling
the fear but then eventually just doing
the thing anyway 3 2 1 go
[Music]
so here's an action step for you if you
relate to that think about right now
what you're afraid of what decision are
you afraid of making what conversation
are you afraid of
having and then just think about it like
this you can be afraid of that thing but
do it anyway you can walk up to that
person and be shaking but start the
conversation anyway that's exactly what
I did with that girlfriend that I had I
was so afraid to tell her that I was
going to leave and that I didn't want to
be together so afraid you know cuz it
was so familiar we were together for
like three years we lived together for
years right and so I was so afraid until
one day I thought like if I just start
the
conversation it'll happen so I sat next
to to her and I like I whimpered out the
words of like I'm I'm I'm leaving and
I'm going to like you know move back
home and I don't want to live like this
anymore as soon as I said that even
though I was so afraid to say it it's
like the conversation happened she
understood because neither of us were
happy and things went into motion and
then mistake number five so weeks after
that moment where you know I I said to
the girl I was Weir that I was going to
move back home and everything I end up
moving back home having this new
environment where I can go all in on
self-improvement I've like shaved my
head I'm like going hard on monk mode
right it gets like 8:00 p.m. 9:00 p.m.
it's my bedtime and I'm just about to
get into bed but I'm horny as [ __ ] even
though I'm supposed to be on monk mode
what I do is I go on my phone and
download Tinder hinge Bumble and I start
spending a [ __ ] ton of time making my
profile and starting to you know match
with the girls that had already liked me
like instantly and having these
conversations and I'm seeing the time
get later and later it's 10: it's 10:30
p.m. it's 11:00 p.m. I'm going to wake
up at 6:00 so I'm literally realizing
like I'm going to be sleep deprived I
start getting weirdly like agitated
whilst I'm texting these girls and
everything and then I just stop and I
realize wait this is just stupid I moved
home to just completely focus on myself
and right now I don't really like want
to spend any time with girls and even
guys I just needed some time alone to
you know figure out my own life and get
my life in order and I realized like
wait what am I doing like I'm going to
be waking up sleep deprived tomorrow or
I'm going to wake up late and then not
get my my morning routine and the things
that felt so good for me and why like I
I don't there's nothing serious that I
want with these girls right now I'm not
in the position to like think about
someone else so what is this like why am
I so like like why am I wasting my time
with this I'm not where I want to be I
don't have those like materialistic
successes that would be so nice like I
didn't have a car I didn't have money I
was on benefits but also I didn't have
like the inner work I wasn't like even
close to being healed from the
relationship I was in I wasn't happy I
wasn't mentally healthy and I was making
progress but that was because I was like
completely by myself and able to focus
on the things that I wanted and so it
gets to about 11:00 p.m. I know I'm
going to be sleep deprived I finally
turn off my phone and as I'm going to
sleep I'm almost like pissed off at
myself thinking like why did you just
spend like 2 hours like if you just went
to bed and slept at the right time I
would have been fast asleep by now I
would have gotten 2 hours extra of sleep
and I would have like gotten to the
point where I feel you know really happy
to start dating again earlier my
Personal Learning lesson from that was
that girls will always be there and in
some seasons of your life you'll want a
beautiful girl by your side but in
others you won't and you need to know
what season of life you're in because
For Me That season where you know I was
just moving back home to go hard on
self-improvement that wasn't a season of
life where I even wanted like women in
my life or even friends I literally just
wanted to like get my mental health back
in order I wanted to like start making a
bit of progress in business and
everything and then I could start
stepping into like the social life again
so here's your action step if you're
relate to this mistake decide what
season of life you're in right now is it
one where you just need complete focus
on yourself because you feel like you're
just not at the level where you're like
happy at all and you need to focus on
maybe the inner work like the sort of
spirituality mental health trauma things
or maybe the outer work like for example
the physique the business cuz if you
need to focus on those things it can be
valuable for you to not have like the
distraction of dating and messaging a
bunch of girls and everything and just
being kind of detached away from that so
that all of your sort of mental
bandwidth is on yourself but also
truthfully you could be in a season
where you actually feel pretty happy
about yourself you've made a bunch of
progress you're happy now you want to
add in more of the social life and
remember that's still part of your
self-improvement too right having
friends having a beautiful woman on your
arm who's so sweet who's so feminine
that's still your self-improvement
journey the question you've just got to
ask yourself is are you in that season
right now of the social life of the
dating or are you in the season of more
of the sort of solo Grind Mode and
there's no right or wrong answer it's
just which one do you really feel like
you need more right now one final action
step that'll help us all scroll down to
the comments of this video right now and
go write a comment about your
self-improvement story and also which
one of these mistakes that you feel like
you're making that you need to get out
of you'll be sharing your journey so
you'll feel vulnerable and there's a lot
of growth in that but also they'll be
someone who will read your comments and
it'll help them and then finally when
you comment it helps the YouTube
algorithm share share this kind of video
to more young men which means that more
young men get on to self-improvements
the top two links in the description by
the way are my free self-improvement
communities you can go and click on
those if you want to join do the hard
work especially when you don't feel like
it mAh
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