The True Story Behind LEADERS EAT LAST

Summary

The speaker shares a profound experience of leadership and service, inspired by military values and a personal journey to Afghanistan. The narrative unfolds from a conversation about 'officers eat last' to witnessing a fallen soldier's return, highlighting the selfless commitment and deep bonds within the military. The story emphasizes the transformative power of surrendering to service and the strength found in community and love, which transcends into civilian life.

Takeaways

• 📚 The title 'Leaders Eat Last' originates from a conversation with a Marine, emphasizing the principle that leaders prioritize the needs of others before their own.
• 🏆 The military awards medals for self-sacrifice, contrasting with the business world where bonuses are given for actions that may involve sacrificing others for personal gain.
• 🎖️ The speaker's personal experience in Afghanistan with the Air Force provided a deep understanding of the sacrifices made by military personnel.
• 🛫 The speaker's journey involved traveling on various Air Force planes, including a C5 cargo plane and a KC-135 tanker, highlighting the logistical challenges faced by the military.
• 🚨 A rocket attack near the speaker's location in Bagram Airfield underscored the constant danger and the importance of maintaining calm under pressure.
• 🛌 The speaker's moment of panic and fear in Afghanistan led to a realization about the importance of purpose and service, especially in challenging situations.
• 🤝 The concept of 'true service' emerged as a willingness to serve those who serve others, which the speaker learned through a moment of surrender and acceptance.
• 💔 The emotional experience of bringing home a fallen soldier in a casket on a C-17 flight, and the solemnity of the military's farewell, deeply impacted the speaker.
• 🌈 The return to Andrews Air Force Base marked by a rainbow symbolized a sense of hope and completion of a difficult journey.
• 🗣️ The speaker's report to military headquarters about the experience in Afghanistan, including the emotional recount of the casket's return, demonstrated the supportive nature of the military community.
• ❤️ The power of love, community, and culture in the military was a central theme, with the speaker emphasizing the deep bonds and mutual respect among service members.

Q & A

What is the origin of the title 'Leaders Eat Last'?

The title 'Leaders Eat Last' comes from a conversation the speaker had with a Marine who explained that 'officers eat last', a concept shared across the military.

What is the main theme of the opening story in 'Leaders Eat Last'?

The opening story in 'Leaders Eat Last' is a war story that contrasts the sacrifices made by military personnel with the behavior of some in the business world.

Why did the speaker travel to Afghanistan with the Air Force?

The speaker traveled to Afghanistan with the Air Force at the request of a general who wanted him to see the men and women perform their duty and understand what they do.

What was the purpose of the mortuary tour at Dover Air Force Base?

The tour of the mortuary at Dover Air Force Base served as a stark reminder of the sacrifices made by fallen soldiers and set the tone for the speaker's deployment.

What challenges did the speaker face when trying to leave Afghanistan?

The speaker faced the challenge of finding a flight to leave Afghanistan, as there were no other planes going in the direction needed until Tuesday, causing a moment of panic and fear.

How did the speaker cope with the fear of being stuck in Afghanistan?

The speaker coped with the fear by surrendering to the situation, deciding to serve in any way possible, and finding a sense of purpose in being there.

What was the significance of the casket on the flight back to Germany?

The casket on the flight represented a fallen soldier being brought home, and the speaker felt it was the greatest honor of his life to be part of this mission after learning about true service.

What was the emotional impact of the speaker's experience on the military personnel?

The emotional impact was profound, as seen in the respect and honor shown to the fallen soldier, the tears and support among the military personnel, and the speaker's own deep reflections on service and community.

How did the speaker's experience in Afghanistan influence his understanding of leadership?

The speaker's experience in Afghanistan deepened his understanding of leadership as a commitment to serve others, especially those who serve their country, and the power of community and culture built on love.

What was the reaction of the military personnel when the speaker shared his emotional story at the headquarters?

The military personnel, including a four-star general, encouraged the speaker to continue sharing his story by saying 'go on,' showing support and understanding in a moment of emotional difficulty.

What did the speaker learn about the difference between the private sector and the military?

The speaker learned that in the military, there is a strong sense of community, support, and love among personnel, as opposed to the private sector where individuals might be pushed aside during moments of emotional struggle.

Outlines

00:00

🇺🇸 Leadership Insights from Military Experience

The speaker begins by sharing the origin of the concept 'Leaders Eat Last' through a conversation with a Marine, emphasizing the importance of leadership that prioritizes the well-being of others. The narrative then shifts to a personal war story, highlighting the stark contrast between military and business practices, where the former rewards self-sacrifice for the benefit of others, while the latter often does the opposite. The speaker recounts a visit to Afghanistan with the Air Force, detailing the experience of witnessing an airdrop mission and the vulnerability and camaraderie felt during a rocket attack at Bagram Airfield.

05:03

😔 Fear and Surrender in a War Zone

The speaker describes the emotional turmoil of being stranded in Afghanistan, facing the fear of being unable to leave and the panic that ensues. This leads to a moment of surrender, where the speaker resigns to the situation and seeks to find a sense of purpose in serving the military personnel around them. The realization of the true meaning of service and the willingness to contribute in any way possible bring about a profound sense of calm and clarity. The unexpected opportunity to board a flight arises just as this realization is made, marking a turning point in the narrative.

10:04

🛫 Honor and Service on the Flight Home

The speaker recounts the solemn experience of boarding a flight carrying a fallen soldier's casket, an unscheduled mission that arose from the recent ceremony they had witnessed. The respect and honor shown by the Airmen towards their comrade are palpable. The flight is a quiet and reflective one, with the speaker finding themselves sleeping next to the casket, a moment of deep honor and connection to the concept of service. The journey continues with a medical evacuation flight, bringing wounded soldiers home, and an insightful conversation with a doctor about the profound difference between civilian and military medical missions.

15:04

🌈 Reflections and the Power of Community

In the concluding paragraph, the speaker shares their experience of reporting back to the military headquarters about their journey and insights. The recounting of the emotional journey, particularly the story of the fallen soldier, overwhelms the speaker, leading to a moment of support from a four-star general who encourages them to continue. This experience underscores the power of community, the strength of a culture built on love and support, and the profound impact of the military's sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. The speaker's final message is one of encouragement and support, embodying the spirit of resilience and the importance of community in overcoming personal struggles.

Keywords

💡Leadership

Leadership in this context refers to the ability to guide, influence, and inspire others towards achieving a common goal. The video's theme revolves around the concept of leadership, especially the principle of 'leaders eat last,' which signifies that true leaders prioritize the needs of their team over their own. An example from the script is the conversation with the Marine, emphasizing that officers eat last, reflecting a selfless leadership style.

💡Sacrifice

Sacrifice is the act of giving up something valuable for the sake of others or a greater cause. The script contrasts the idea of sacrifice in the military, where individuals are honored for selfless acts, with the business world, where the term is often misused. The speaker's experience in Afghanistan, where he witnessed the dedication and sacrifice of military personnel, reinforces the theme of selfless leadership.

💡Service

Service, in the video, is the commitment to helping others, especially those who serve others. The speaker's realization of the true meaning of service comes when he decides to help in any way he can while stranded in Afghanistan. This concept is exemplified by the military personnel who serve their country and each other, even in the face of danger.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to perceived threats or danger. The script describes the speaker's experience of fear when he was stuck in Afghanistan and believed there would be another rocket attack. This fear was eventually overcome by a surrender to the situation and a decision to serve, illustrating the power of mindset in overcoming fear.

💡Purpose

Purpose is the reason for which something exists or is done, often providing a sense of direction and meaning. In the video, the speaker invents a purpose for his presence in Afghanistan to cope with fear, which is to bear witness and tell the story of the military personnel. This highlights the importance of having a clear purpose in challenging situations.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or to endure hardships without breaking. The speaker's journey in Afghanistan and his interactions with the military personnel demonstrate resilience, as they all face adversity and continue to perform their duties with determination.

💡Comradeship

Comradeship refers to a close friendship or camaraderie among people who share a common experience or goal. The script emphasizes the strong bonds of love and support among military personnel, who refer to each other as brothers and sisters. This sense of comradery is a key element of the military culture and contributes to their effectiveness and morale.

💡Honor

Honor is a deep sense of integrity, respect, and esteem for oneself and others. The video describes the honor the speaker felt in bringing home a fallen soldier and the honor military personnel feel in serving their country and each other. This honor is a driving force behind their actions and dedication.

💡Community

Community refers to a group of people who share common values, interests, or goals. The script discusses the power of community, particularly in the military, where individuals support each other and work together towards a common purpose. The speaker's experience in Afghanistan underscores the importance of community in overcoming challenges.

💡Insight

Insight is the understanding or perspective gained from experience or deep thought. The speaker shares insights gained from his time in Afghanistan, such as the importance of leadership and service, and how these insights can be applied in other areas of life. The script illustrates how personal experiences can lead to valuable insights.

💡Emotions

Emotions are the feelings that individuals experience in response to various stimuli. The script describes the raw emotions the speaker felt when recounting his experiences to the military brass. Emotions play a significant role in the narrative, showing the human side of leadership and the impact of shared experiences.

Highlights

The concept of 'Leaders Eat Last' originates from a conversation with a Marine who emphasized the leadership principle that officers prioritize the needs of their troops over their own.

The speaker shares a personal story of visiting Afghanistan with the Air Force to witness military operations firsthand, gaining a deeper understanding of leadership and service.

An intense experience at Dover Air Force Base where fallen soldiers are received, setting the stage for the speaker's journey and introspection on leadership.

The realization of the stark difference between military and business practices, where the former rewards self-sacrifice for the greater good and the latter sometimes incentivizes sacrificing others for personal gain.

A harrowing account of a rocket attack at Bagram Air Base that hit close to where the speaker was, highlighting the immediate dangers faced by military personnel.

The profound moment of surrender and acceptance of helplessness that led to an overwhelming sense of calm and a desire to serve selflessly.

The transformative experience of being part of an airdrop mission in Afghanistan, witnessing the logistical efforts that support troops on the ground.

The emotional struggle of waiting for a flight out of Afghanistan and the panic that set in when it seemed there were no immediate options to leave.

The unexpected opportunity to board a plane carrying fallen soldiers, offering a deeply humbling and reflective moment for the speaker.

The solemn duty of bringing home a fallen comrade, and the honor the speaker felt being part of this sacred mission.

The silence and respect observed on the flight carrying the fallen soldier, contrasting sharply with the camaraderie and conversation on previous flights.

The speaker's emotional recounting of their experience to military brass, and the supportive response that underscored the military's culture of resilience and care.

The insight that true service involves choosing to serve those who serve others, a realization that came from the speaker's own moments of fear and surrender.

The importance of community, friendship, and a strong culture built on love, as illustrated by the military's response to the speaker's emotional sharing.

The speaker's commitment to using the phrase 'go on' as a form of encouragement and support, inspired by the military's approach to helping individuals through difficult times.

The overarching theme that love is a fundamental component of military effectiveness, with service members expressing deep bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood.

Transcripts

what's interesting about the story of

humanity and the concept of leadership

last first of all the title leadership

last comes from a conversation I had

with a marine right I said what makes

Marines better than all the other all

the others and he said officers eat last

and it's a concept shared across the

military it just happened to be with a

marine that's where that title comes

from and the opening story in leader Z

last is a war story

um you know I like to joke that they're

that uh in the military they give medals

to people who are willing to sacrifice

themselves so that others May gain and

in business we give bonuses to people

who are willing to sacrifice others so

that we may gain right

uh um but the true origin story for

leaders eat less which is not in the

book

was

um when uh came from an ex and I don't

talk about it that often I have talked

about it but I don't talk about that

often which is I had the opportunity to

go to Afghanistan

uh with the Air Force

um I had been doing a lot of work with

the mobility forces the air Mobility

forces

um are the branch of the Air Force that

are responsible for all of the the big

planes that don't

drop bombs or shoot bullets so no

fighter jets no bombers but the tankers

the cargo planes Air Force One all of

that stuff belongs to air Mobility

command and the general who's in charge

you know he said you know you've got to

know us really well but it would mean a

lot to me if you would be willing to go

to Iraq or Afghanistan to see our men

and women perform their Duty I would

like you to see what they do would you

be willing to go

and I said yes

um and they chose Afghanistan and I

didn't tell my family and very few

friends

um for the simple reasons I didn't want

them to worry

I told my parents that I was going away

with the Air Force for a few days true I

told them I was going to Germany

true I told him I'd be on a lot of

planes I'd probably be out of touch for

a while true I just didn't tell them I

was going from Germany to Afghanistan

and minor detail minor detail and it

became very real when I was at Dover Air

Force Base uh which is where we left

from and the first thing we got was a

tour of the mortuary where all the

Fallen Soldiers came through Dover

and then we went and I got fitted for my

uh Kevlar vest and helmet and they asked

me do you want the extra ceramic plate

like yes

um we flew

we flew uh to Germany on a C5 amazing

experience big big huge cargo plane with

like whole helicopters in the back

um and then we flew tobagrum uh on a

kc-135 tanker and the Air Force was

stretched so thin that they were using

tankers to bring inbound and stuff these

planes aren't designed to land in war

zones they have no defensive

capabilities they have no flares they

have nothing

and everything was fine

um and we landed in Bagram and the the

side door of the plane was open but we

were still on the plane we haven't got

enough we'd been on the ground maybe 10

minutes this is 10 o'clock at night it's

middle of the night they do that for

safety because we have no defensive

measures

um uh we're on the ground for maybe 10

minutes and the base came on a rocket

attack

and three rockets hit 100 yards off our

nose and you could hear them and the air

raid sirens blared and this through the

speaker they told everybody to go to

their bunkers to cover

and we are on a plane

and there's nothing we could do and and

nobody put on their helmets or their

vests because

our plan is filled with gas that's not

going to do anything

and everybody was weirdly relaxed and

for those who View and I think there's a

couple of you in the audience who've

been in a war zone you you have all the

feelings you're supposed to have but you

don't have them at the right times

so I was relaxed

yeah

um the Aryan Sirens turned off the all

clear was given and we could go to our

quarters we went to our quarters me and

my two escorts two officers who went

with me and

um and my only responsibility was to do

an airdrop Mission and they're not

regularly scheduled so we went to our

quarters we got like two maybe three

hours of sleep if we're really lucky got

up super early in the morning then we uh

did an airdrop in a C-17 where we flew

an hour and a half out to the middle of

Afghanistan to afford operating base

dropped down to 2000 feet the big door

open at the back and supplies parachuted

out the back and we were sitting right

there watching it happen it was an

incredible experience

come back to Bagram after the mission

was completed and now the goal is to

leave the country

and nothing's really regularly scheduled

and you sort of you have to find a plane

that we can get on to come home and we

did we found an aircraft that was an

outbound aeromedical Mission which means

they're taking away the taking back home

fallen soldiers and and Marines and

Airmen and sailors out of the war zone

and we had to get permission from the

pilots they said yes and then we waited

and waited and waited and waited and

waited and waited and waited and waited

and waited and waited and eventually we

got on the plane

all of our stuff was trapped down and

about five minutes before we're supposed

to leave the pilot came up to us and

says I need to bump you I need more room

for stretchers

and if there's ever a good reason to get

bumped off a plane this is about as good

as it gets so we got off the plane and

now the goal was to find another plane

we could get on and that's when we found

out that there were no other planes

going in the direction we needed to go

until Tuesday and it was only Saturday

and in that moment of upon receiving

that news every fiber of my being sank

um I could feel the panic

coming now that I didn't have before

I became a person that I am not and I

could see it happening like one of the

PA offices while the public affairs

officer said I can get you on a flight

to you know

Kazakhstan Kyrgyzstan but you don't have

the right visa and I put my finger in

his face and I said you get me on that

plane like I don't talk to people that

way you're in fear what's that you were

in fear I I was consumed by fear right

um

uh we went back to our quarters we're

all pretty exhausted and I lay on the

bed and I close my eyes there's no way

I'm sleeping and my mind is racing but I

close my eyes one of the officers said

well I'm gonna see if I can find another

flight and he left and the office the

other officer said well I'm gonna go to

the gym

and because I was in my bed with my eyes

closed you thought I was sleeping and as

he walked out the room he turned off the

lights

I'm now left by myself in this dark room

my mind is racing and I'm consumed by

fear I am now convinced I would bet

money I am a hundred percent convinced

that there's gonna be another rocket

attack it's definitely going to land

wherever I am and the way that my

parents are going to find out that I am

in Afghanistan is the someone who's

going to knock on the door and tell them

I'm convinced

I I

don't want to be there I regretted

saying yes

I'm lonely

and I am in the purpose business so I I

get this and so I thought to myself okay

you don't have a sense of purpose that's

what you need you need purpose you need

purpose okay so I started inventing

purpose I'm like you're here to give

witness and then come back and tell

their story

and I'd feel amazing and

and then like three minutes later

I wasn't amazing I was back into deep

panic and fear and I would do this a

couple of times I I would come up with

some nonsense and I think we do this

ourselves we come up with some

rationalized nonsense that sort of lasts

a little bit

and everything was exaggerated and

compressed for me you know

um and I I couldn't come up with

anything else and so I lay in that bed

and I I gave up

I I resigned myself

to being powerless and stuck you

surrendered surrender I I just gave up I

surrendered and and in that moment of

surrender

this intense calm came over me

I'd even go so far as to say excitement

where having now surrendered and given

myself up to the situation I decided

that I wanted to serve

that I would volunteer that would give

talks if they wanted around the base for

troop morale I would sweep floors if

they wanted me to I would carry boxes I

didn't care how menial the tasks were I

wanted to be there to serve

as if it were a movie the timing was

uncanny having just come to this

realization

having just learned what true service

means that truly to live a life of

service means the choice to serve those

who serve others

not everybody to serve those who serve

others

having just come to this magical insight

as if the door flung open it was Major

Throckmorton he said there's another

flight that's leaving we can get on it

we can get it there's another flight but

we have to leave now we have to leave

now they're really going to leave

without us where's Matt I'm like he's at

the gym

so we ran to the gym

he's on the treadmill like we gotta go

we gotta go there's another flight we

gotta go just as a quick aside

I'm not a in I'm not military so I'm not

allowed to wear uniform anything like

that

and I'm wearing uh khakis and a goal

shirt

which is like contractor wear

and a pair of boots and I'm scruffy and

I'm little

so I kind of look like Special Forces

[Laughter]

so when all the other troops see me run

into the gym go up to Once one guy and

go we gotta go we gotta go we gotta go

they're all like

what's going on

that was my little thrill

Ed anyway we ran back to our quarters we

grabbed our stuff he didn't have time to

shower he threw his uniform back on we

grabbed our packs and ran out to the the

flight line

to catch our plane as soon as we got to

the flight line we could see the C-17

that we were going to board and just as

we got there a security Cordon came down

and they wouldn't let us onto the field

because somewhere else on base

there was a fallen soldier ceremony

happening and what happens is out of

respect everything on base stops

and so we sat on the curb and we waited

and why we were sitting on the curb I

told the guys what I had just gone

through in the bed

and I I wept

it brings me to tears now I wept as I

told them the story and one thing people

don't realize about the military is

crying is just fine it's just fine

there's a lot of crying and it's just

fine

they hold space

yeah and uh we finally the security

Cordon came back up and we went and

boarded our aircraft

and what I haven't told you is the

reason that this was an unscheduled

aircraft and the reason

um it showed up as we would be carrying

the soldier for whom they just had

the ceremony

we got on the plane where the only three

passengers on that plane

and the Army brought upon the aircraft a

single flag drape casket and laid it in

the middle of the cargo bay

and all of the Airmen stood at attention

I didn't know what to do and I put my

hand on my heart I kind of felt like an

idiot and so I just stood at attention

with them in this perfect line

as the Army laid down the casket they

did a slow eight count salute to say

goodbye to their comrade we watched them

March off the plane hug and cry as they

walked out of sight the air crew got to

work and strapped down the precious

cargo and then we left it was a nine and

a half hour flight overnight back to

Ramstein back to Germany

and as soon as we got in the air

everybody like staked out a piece of

real estate to get some sleep and I was

last because they all sort of scattered

and so I was left uh sleeping next to

the casket

um on every other flight I was on WE

joked we talked we had a blast on every

other flight on this flight barely a

word was spoken on every other flight I

hung out in the cockpit talked to the

pilots on this flight I never visited

the cockpit once

um and I will tell you it was the

greatest honor of my life having just

learned what true service means getting

to bring home someone who understands

service more than I ever will

we get to Bagram we get to Ramstein and

our final flight home is uh an an air

medical evacuation where we're bringing

wounded the wounded back to America from

Germany

um some of them ambulatory some of them

not and it's a more relaxed on this

flight but in the back of the aircraft

there's a single Gurney

it was nurses tending to a whole bunch

of troops and there's a there's like

four doctors tending to one Marine who's

what they call ccat which is an

artificial coma

uh and I sort of stayed away out of

discomfort from the back of the plane

and I sort of like at some point like I

should really go so I went back and

talked to the docs and they were telling

me his wounds his buddy had stepped on

an IED and was killed and he took the

shrapnel he had traveled in the chest he

lost an eye

um shrapnel in the skull and

um and they were telling me how uh some

of the trauma care that was being

developed in Afghanistan and Iraq was

slowly making its way to civilian

hospitals back home so even when they're

wounded they're giving back to us

and the head doc the guy in charge was a

reservist from Austin

who works in an ER and I I asked him a

question had I not gone through what I

went through I asked him a question I

would never have asked him

I said I said you're a good guy you work

in an ER you save lives for a living

are these missions different than your

job back home

and he looked at me said there is no

comparison

he said 90 to 95 of the people who come

through the ER are either drunks or

idiots

he says there's not a single drunk or

idiot here he says the honor I get on

these missions

doesn't equate to an entire career

we made it back to Ramstein back to

Andrews Air Force Base we made it back

to Andrews Air Force Base we were the

last plane to land right before a huge

storm came in

which was amazing that they let us land

and we got off Andrews and there was

this the biggest rainbow I've ever seen

in my life

over over the over the base

I'll tell you one final piece to this

the deal I made with the general was

that I would go do my thing and then he

wanted me to come back to headquarters

and Report out what I had seen and share

any insights that I may have gleaned

and so about two weeks later I went back

to headquarters and did just that and I

stood in an auditorium

smaller than this and all of the brass

was there all the generals a bunch of

kernels like all the brass were there

and I told him what I went through in

the airdrop and some things that I was

really impressed by and the little

tweaks that I could see and I was going

over in my head do I want to tell the

story of coming home with this casket

and I sort of like was debating and I

finally decided to tell the story

And the emotions were raw I mean it had

just happened

And the emotions were raw and

I started telling the story and I I

couldn't

I swelled up and I I couldn't I couldn't

get the words out

and something magical happened

and you realize the difference between

private sector and these magical human

beings

if I and it's happened if I'm on a stage

and I well up and I get stuck somebody

in private sector will say it's okay

don't worry

right as if to push you aside

when I got stuck and welled up on that

stage

two words were spoken by the four star

who was sitting at the back of the room

he said

go on

as if to say go on you're safe or go and

we're with you

and that's amazing yeah he didn't say

stop

in a time of pain in a time of fear in a

time of overwhelm he did not say stop he

said go on

and this is why I wrote that book

because you realize the power

of community the power of friendship the

power of of a strong culture that is

built on love and I don't use that term

lightly if you ask folks in the military

I've I've talked to the the hardest of

Hardcore Warriors and I say what is it

that makes you good at what you do and

they say love they say love they love

each other we call each other colleagues

and co-workers they call each other

brother and sister and that relationship

is real

and from that day on when my friends

struggle I say go on

and that's why that book exists