Why You Struggle to Follow Through (Thinkers vs Doers)

Summary

The video script delves into the distinction between thinkers and doers, exploring the intrinsic and extrinsic motivations that drive individuals. It suggests a four-step process, from triggered situational interest to a well-developed individual interest, to transform curiosity into sustained action. The speaker shares insights from working with Olympic athletes and highlights the importance of continuous exposure, theory crafting, and internal reflection in cultivating discipline and focus. The script also discusses the role of feedback and the potential pitfalls of seeking it too early in the learning process.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The distinction between thinkers and doers lies in the ability to intrinsically motivate oneself, rather than relying solely on external circumstances.
• 🧠 There is a scientific methodology to transition from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, which involves four discrete steps based on neuroscience research.
• 🌱 The first step is 'triggered situational interest,' where curiosity is sparked by environmental factors, often accompanied by negative emotions.
• 🔄 'Maintained situational interest' is the second step, emphasizing the importance of continued exposure to the subject of interest without necessarily overcoming initial negative feelings.
• 🎮 'Merging individual interest' is the third step, where individuals start to internalize their interest, often through theory crafting or mental simulations about the activity.
• 🏆 The fourth step is the development of a 'well-developed individual interest,' characterized by a stable and intrinsic motivation that is resilient and sustainable over time.
• 🕵️‍♂️ Theory crafting is a critical internal process where individuals reflect on and strategize about their interests, which is essential for moving from thinking to doing.
• 🤝 Appreciating the contributions of others becomes important in phase four, as it shows a deeper understanding and internalization of the subject matter.
• 🔁 Feedback should be sought later in the process, as it can be detrimental to beginners who lack the confidence and stability to incorporate it constructively.
• 🚀 The transition from thinker to doer is not about luck or inherent differences but can be achieved by following a skill progression that turns curiosity into sustained action.
• 🌟 Success in one area of life, such as career or relationships, can create a positive feedback loop, enhancing the likelihood of success in other areas.

Q & A

What is the main difference between people who think about doing things and people who actually do them according to the script?

The main difference is that people who actually do things are more disciplined and focused, and they are able to intrinsically motivate themselves, whereas others are prompted to action only by external circumstances.

What are the two types of motivation mentioned in the script?

The two types of motivation mentioned are extrinsic motivation, which is prompted by external circumstances, and intrinsic motivation, which comes from within and drives individuals to act without external rewards.

What is the first step in transitioning from a thinker to a doer as described in the script?

The first step is 'triggered situational interest,' which is an interest that is triggered by the environment and is not controlled by the individual.

Why is it important not to overcome negative emotions immediately when experiencing 'triggered situational interest'?

Overcoming negative emotions is not the immediate goal because the value of doing so is not yet recognized by the brain. Instead, continued exposure to the subject of interest is what leads to 'maintained situational interest.'

What is 'maintained situational interest' and how is it different from 'triggered situational interest'?

Maintained situational interest is an interest that is consistently triggered by the environment, leading to continued exposure and engagement with the subject. It is different from triggered situational interest in that it is sustained and not just a one-time reaction to a situation.

What is the significance of 'theory crafting' in the process of moving from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation?

Theory crafting is significant because it represents a shift from external to internal focus. It involves reflecting on and thinking about the subject matter internally, which is a critical step in developing intrinsic motivation.

What is the role of 'appreciating the contributions of others' in the final phase of developing intrinsic motivation?

Appreciating the contributions of others helps to deepen one's understanding and engagement with the subject. It shows that the individual has developed a stable and confident interest in the subject, which is a sign of well-developed intrinsic motivation.

Why can feedback be detrimental if received too early in the process of developing a skill or passion?

Feedback can be detrimental early on because it may discourage individuals who have not yet developed confidence in the subject. Negative feedback can squash curiosity and motivation if received when the interest is not yet stable.

How does the script relate the process of developing intrinsic motivation to the experiences of Olympic athletes?

The script uses Olympic athletes as examples of individuals who have successfully followed the steps to develop intrinsic motivation. It suggests that these athletes have gone through the stages of curiosity, continued exposure, theory crafting, and appreciation of others' contributions to reach their high level of performance.

What is the potential outcome for someone who follows the steps outlined in the script to develop intrinsic motivation?

The potential outcome is a transition from being a thinker to a doer, with the ability to take a simple curiosity and turn it into a sustained, intrinsic motivation that can lead to success in various areas of life, similar to the experiences of the Olympic athletes mentioned in the script.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Dichotomy of Thinkers and Doers

The video script begins by exploring the difference between people who are prompted to action by circumstances (thinkers) and those who intrinsically motivate themselves (doers). It questions whether there is a fundamental difference between these two types and introduces the concept of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. The speaker shares their curiosity about the distinction and hints at a methodology to transition from being a thinker to a doer, setting the stage for the discussion to follow.

05:00

🏅 The Path to Intrinsic Motivation

This paragraph delves into the steps that lead from being curious to developing sustained motivation. It discusses the concept of 'triggered situational interest' and the pitfalls of curiosity often being accompanied by negative emotions. The speaker explains that overcoming these emotions isn't necessary to progress; instead, continued exposure to the subject of interest is key. The importance of maintaining situational interest through consistent external engagement is highlighted, as is the role of parents or external forces in fostering early discipline in high achievers.

10:00

🎮 From External Curiosity to Internal Interest

The speaker uses the analogy of gaming to illustrate the transition from external curiosity to an internal interest in a subject. They explain the process of 'theory crafting' as a critical step in moving from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation. This involves internal reflection and strategizing about the subject, rather than relying solely on external inputs. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of this internal work in transforming a fleeting interest into a deeper, more enduring passion.

15:01

🧠 The Internalization of Interest and Theory Crafting

Continuing the discussion on theory crafting, this paragraph emphasizes the importance of internal reflection and the development of personal strategies or ideas about the subject of interest. It contrasts thinkers, who consume external content without internalizing it, with doers who reflect and theorize internally. The speaker suggests that this internal process is what differentiates those who act on their interests from those who only think about them.

20:01

🏆 Achieving a Well-Developed Individual Interest

This paragraph outlines the final phase of developing intrinsic motivation: moving from an emerging individual interest to a well-developed one. It discusses the importance of appreciating the contributions of others and the value of feedback in this phase. The speaker warns against seeking feedback too early, as it can be detrimental without a solid foundation of confidence and interest. The paragraph concludes by reinforcing the idea that following the outlined steps can help transform a thinker into a doer.

25:02

🚀 The Neuroscience of Transitioning from Thinker to Doer

The final paragraph of the script wraps up the discussion by emphasizing the neuroscience behind the transition from thinker to doer. It reiterates the importance of the four-step process in nurturing curiosity and turning it into sustained intrinsic motivation. The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the effectiveness of these steps and encourages viewers to apply them, suggesting that success in various aspects of life often goes hand in hand and is not a matter of luck but of learning and applying these motivational skills.

Keywords

💡Intrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic motivation refers to the internal drive to engage in an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for external rewards. In the video, this concept is central to the theme of turning curiosity into sustained action. The script discusses how people who are intrinsically motivated are more disciplined and focused, and it explores the process of cultivating this type of motivation from a state of mere curiosity.

💡Extrinsic Motivation

Extrinsic motivation is the drive to perform an action because of external rewards or pressures. The video contrasts this with intrinsic motivation, explaining that some people are prompted to act by circumstances or deadlines, which is different from the internal drive discussed in the context of intrinsic motivation.

💡Thinkers vs. Doers

The script categorizes people into 'thinkers' and 'doers,' with thinkers being those who contemplate actions and doers being those who actually follow through. This distinction is used to explore the difference between having a fleeting interest and developing a passion that leads to action.

💡Cognitive Steps

Cognitive steps refer to the mental processes or stages one goes through to achieve a goal or develop a skill. The video outlines specific cognitive steps that are necessary to transition from being curious about something to being intrinsically motivated to pursue it, which includes exposure, reflection, and theory crafting.

💡Triggered Situational Interest

This term describes the initial phase of curiosity that is sparked by an external situation or event. The video script uses this concept to explain the starting point of developing interest in something new, which can be triggered by seeing someone else engaged in an activity or by encountering a novel idea.

💡Maintained Situational Interest

Maintained situational interest is the stage where curiosity is sustained through continued exposure to the subject of interest. The script emphasizes the importance of this stage in the process of moving from external to internal motivation, where consistent engagement with the subject deepens the interest.

💡Merging Individual Interest

Merging individual interest is the phase where a person starts to internalize their interest, beginning to reflect on and engage with the subject matter on a personal level. The script describes this as a critical transition from being externally motivated to developing an internal, individual interest.

💡Theory Crafting

Theory crafting is the process of internally generating and reflecting on ideas or strategies related to one's interest. In the context of the video, it is a key cognitive step where a person starts to think deeply about how to approach their interest, moving from external exposure to internal motivation.

💡Well-Developed Individual Interest

This term represents the final phase in the process of developing intrinsic motivation, where the interest has become stable, resilient, and deeply personal. The script uses this concept to illustrate the endpoint of the journey from thinker to doer, where the individual has a strong, sustained passion for their interest.

💡Feedback

Feedback in the video is discussed in the context of its role in reinforcing or refining one's skills or interests. It is presented as a critical component for those who have reached a stage of well-developed individual interest, where they can use feedback to improve and grow, unlike in the early stages where it might be discouraging.

💡Olympic Athletes

Olympic athletes are used in the script as examples of individuals who have successfully transformed their curiosity into intrinsic motivation and have reached a high level of expertise in their field. Their stories serve to illustrate the effectiveness of the cognitive steps outlined in the video.

Highlights

Intrinsic motivation can be developed rather than being an inherent trait.

There are two types of people: thinkers and doers, with a methodology to transition from one to the other.

Curiosity can be a stepping stone to intrinsic motivation despite sometimes being accompanied by negative emotions.

Continued exposure to a subject can foster curiosity and lead to sustained interest.

Maintained situational interest is a phase where external triggers keep the interest alive without internalizing it yet.

Theory crafting is a critical step in moving from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, involving internal reflection on the subject.

Thinkers can become doers by engaging in internal processes like theory crafting rather than just external exposure.

The difference between thinkers and doers may not be a fundamental personality difference but a skill that can be learned.

Olympic athletes and high achievers follow specific steps to cultivate passion and discipline.

The four discrete steps from curiosity to sustained action involve environmental triggers, continued exposure, theory crafting, and individual interest development.

Negative emotions associated with curiosity can be a pitfall, but they can also be leveraged to deepen engagement with the subject.

The importance of not overcoming negative emotions immediately but allowing them to coexist with curiosity.

How parental influence can contribute to the development of intrinsic motivation in early stages.

The role of consistent environmental triggers in maintaining situational interest and moving towards intrinsic motivation.

The transition from external motivation to internal motivation involves appreciating the contributions of others and seeking feedback.

Feedback should be sought when there is a stable interest and confidence in the subject, not in the early stages of curiosity.

The neuroscience behind the progression from curiosity to intrinsic motivation and the practical steps to facilitate this process.

The speaker's personal journey from a thinker to a doer and the impact of applying the discussed methodology on his life.

The paradoxical nature of thinkers who consume content without internalizing it, contrasting with doers who reflect and act.

Transcripts

some of us are prompted to action by our

circumstances but then there are other

people who seem to be able to

intrinsically motivate themselves and so

this is a question that I always kind of

wondered about are these people

fundamentally different or am I missing

something and it turns out that there is

a methodology to this this is something

that you can level up there are two

types of people in this world people who

think about doing stuff and people who

actually do stuff and we're kind of

aware of this right we sort of have this

idea of extrinsic motivation and

intrinsic motivation some of us are

prompted to action by our circumstances

if we have a deadline if we have a test

to study for if we have a particular

project that needs to be completed then

we can act but then there are other

people who seem to be able to

intrinsically motivate themselves who

are more disciplined and focused and

what's the difference so I've always

wondered you know are there two types of

people is this like a fundamental

difference is this down to your genes

down to your personality what separates

people who think about doing things from

people who do things and you may have

wondered this too are thinkers

fundamentally different from doers so

you may get excited about something just

like everyone else but you and your

friend both get excited about something

and a year later you've sort of

forgotten about it you didn't really

follow through and your friend is

actually stuck with it what's the

difference that's what we're going to

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something that I've thought about a lot

because I myself was a thinker right I

got super curious about things I would

get very excited about stuff sometimes

I'd order a bunch of books I'd be like

okay yeah like this is going to be my

thing I'm going to learn to break dance

I'm going to learn to play a new

instrument and then a couple weeks would

go by in my sort of curious passion

would end up dissipating completely and

I looked around at other people and I

sort of noticed that some people when

they get curious about stuff are able to

follow through with it turn it into

discipline and stay consistent and so

this is a question that I always kind of

wondered about are these people

fundamentally different or am I missing

something which is why I was absolutely

thrilled when I had the opportunity to

work with not one but two Olympic

athletes so these are people who were

literally the best in the world at the

particular thing that they do and as I

was working with them on unrelated

things in the back of my mind I was

always wondering okay like I'm going to

try to figure out how did this person

accomplish this how did this person

develop such a passion have such strong

intrinsic motivation and I came to a

couple of conclusions which we'll share

with you but still I wasn't quite sure

right right because in this situation I

have a sample size of two I have two

human beings who are incredibly High

performing so I can't quite extrapolate

that out or form a conclusion about the

population at large which is why I was

thrilled to discover that we basically

figured this out there's a bunch of

Novel re research in Neuroscience around

extrinsic motivation and intrinsic

motivation and how to turn from a

thinker into a doer and this actually

has four discrete steps that if you do

something like work with an Olympic

Athlete you'll discover that they went

through these steps and the tricky thing

is that some of these steps aren't

really visible so we'll sort of see what

someone else is doing we'll look at

someone who's like very disciplined and

they get a lot of stuff done and we'll

think to ourselves like okay I'm going

to start doing what they do but when we

try to do it it doesn't seem to work out

and that's because the research has sort

of shown us that there are internal

cognitive steps that you need to take as

well and as you go through these

cognitive steps you will literally take

something that you are curious about and

turn it into sustained action so the

first step is something called a

triggered situational interest so as

we've learned more about the brain we've

sort of discovered that everyone starts

with curiosity but then there are

certain things that you can do once you

are curious to Foster that Curiosity and

then eventually turn that Curiosity into

a sustained motivation so the first

thing to understand about phase one is

that it's something that you don't

control it is triggered by the situation

so it is environmental in nature and you

kind of get curious about something so

if you see someone playing a particular

video game you'll be like oh that's a

pretty cool game like maybe I should

learn how to play that game too but

there are a lot of things that we don't

quite understand about curiosity and

there's one major Pitfall that we tend

to fall into and that is often times

curiosity actually comes with negative

emotions and we tend to think about

curiosity as a positive thing right we

think that Curiosity sometimes attracts

us to stuff which is why we get confused

when even when we get curious about

things we seem to not do anything about

it why is that it's because in the

triggered situational interest often

times we have some negative emotion that

actually keeps us from pursuing it so

I'll give you all a simple example when

I was in college I decided that I wanted

to be cool man I'm going to be cool so I

went to a break dancing class and I was

like oh man like I'm going to learn how

to break dance I'm going to be a be boy

I'mma get the ladies it's going to be

cool and I went to this break dancing

class where a lot of people were break

dancing and I was like damn that's super

cool and I felt pathetic I'm not that

graceful I don't have that rhythm in my

body I don't know if I can ever do this

it completely destroyed my confidence

which is something that is very common

when we get curious about something it

actually comes with some degree of

negative emotion and so what a lot of

people will then do is they'll say like

oh you have to overcome that negative

emotion right like that's what someone

like Dr K on the internet would tell you

to do oh you have some negative emotion

process that emotion regulate that

emotion go to therapy do journaling so

that the negative emotion goes away and

then you can pursue your curiosity turns

out that's wrong so what we want to do

for and there's research that shows this

if we want to move past a triggered

situational interest I see something in

the environment and I'm interested in it

we don't actually need to engage with it

further we don't have to overcome any

anything within ourselves what we

actually need to do is just focus on

continued exposure continued exposure is

what leads us to something called

maintained situational interest so this

once again is an interest that is

triggered by our environment so we're

still externally motivated but the

trigger is consistent right so it's

maintained situational interest and this

is where it's like super cool because if

you're like me you love learning about

doing things

instead of actually doing things which

is literally exactly what we want to do

to eventually reach intrinsic motivation

it may seem like it's a step in the

opposite direction but when we study

people who start off with curiosity and

end up with a lifelong passion this is a

critical step what we really want to

focus on if you're curious about

something is not overcoming the

negativity but just continue to expose

yourself to that thing you don't have to

conquer any internal thing and the

reason for that is very simple because

at this point it is not worth it the

part of your brain that calculates the

value of overcoming a negative thing

doesn't think that this is worth it so

if I overcome that embarrassment and I

go to class the next day and I'm really

fighting and struggling with that

embarrassment it's not like I learn how

to break dance immediately after

overcoming that emotional hump

overcoming the emotional hump doesn't

really get me anything at that point

which is why we actually don't want to

invest in doing it all we want to focus

on is continued exposure so you should

by all means go to the class again you

should learn about it so this is what's

really interesting learning about the

content that you're interested in

qualifies as maintaining that

situational interest so you can actually

watch YouTube videos about it you can

read a book about it and notice what

happens when I start watching YouTube

videos or reading books or talking to

people or hanging out with people who

are break dancers I'm not actually

learning how to break dance yet I'm not

forcing myself to overcome that

negativity I'm just continuously feeding

my mind and when I work with these

Olympic athletes I find that they had

this too so in the early stages of their

training they frequently had a parent

who maintained their situation on their

behalf when we look at people who are

exceptional we tend to find that they

start early and before they even develop

a passion of often times their parents

force them to do it and if you've had

parents that have forced you to do

something and you may have wondered why

did this not become a passion for me

that's because you probably didn't do

steps three or four so we really want to

focus on is continued external exposure

learning about the thing sort of

engaging with the thing we can deal with

some of the negative emotions but you

basically want to continue feeding your

mind with more stuff about your

curiosity so what we basically want to

do in step two is continue that exposure

because if we get super passionate about

something and let's say I go to like a

guitar class or something and then I

order a bunch of like a guitar and a

bunch of music but then I know never go

back to the class what's going to happen

the guitar is going to sit in my closet

so instead what I need to do is just

focus on continued exposure into to a

certain degree engaging with that

community and this is when we transition

from an externally oriented interest to

an internally oriented interest so phase

three is called the merging individual

interest and if yall are Gamers you are

going to understand this incredibly well

so at some point we're kind of focused

on you know the external environment

we're watching people do it we're sort

of thinking about it hopefully you

engage in some way right so I'm not

saying that you can be a complete

bystander at some point you should you

know pick up a guitar and try playing

something engage with the community give

it a shot but you don't need a lifelong

passion yet and there is a critical step

that triggers moving from extrinsic

motivation to internal motivation and

that is Theory crafting so let's think

about this from the analogy of video

games so I see someone else playing a

video game oh like that's pretty cool

like there are people playing Street

Fighter 6 like Street Fighter 6 seems

like a fun game so you don't have to

actually play it right away right then

the key thing to do is let's continue

hanging out with people who play sf6 and

then eventually I'll pick up the

controller I'll experiment around a

little bit I'll start to have a little

bit fun but I'm getting crushed because

these people are way better than I am

and normally I would sort of give up on

it at that point that's when the theory

crafting steps in so if you've Theory

crafted think about this for a second

who are you engaging with when you

Theory craft you're not engaging with

the external environment you're not

watching YouTube videos about it you're

sitting there when you go to bed at

night instead of falling asleep you're

running through ideas in your head

you're like okay maybe I could do this

and maybe I could do this or I should

play this character if I did this I

could do it this way if I build this

character I'm going to level up I'm

going to have a maximum strength I'm

going to use int as a dump stat I'm

going to use Charisma as a dump stat cuz

charisma's for noobs or whatever you're

playing if you're playing Elden ring or

like shadow of the earth tree because

that's coming out nowadays you know

you're thinking about all this stuff so

this is really important to understand

because in the first two phases we are

sort of getting external input our input

is is from the outside and we sort of

have this internal reaction we're also

reacting to the outside but when we

start to develop an emerging individual

interest we are now dealing with

ourselves we are playing around with the

information we are

reflecting on the information we are now

focused within us and if you've Theory

crafted you know exactly what I'm

talking about so now what we want to do

for whatever your interest is we want to

start Theory crafting it so now the

reward and the focus is not external

anymore it's like oh I'm thinking about

this I get excited about it my mind

really enjoys it and this is a critical

step from becoming a thinker to a doer

doers are people who think about things

and reflect on things internally whereas

I know it sounds kind of weird thinkers

continue to expose themselves to the

external environment now you may think

to yourself but isn't a thinker internal

no no no no no this is what is so

paradoxical and so revolutionary about

it someone who continuously watches

videos about self-improvement on the

internet but doesn't do the internal

work don't pay attention to themselves

don't Theory craft their own Solutions

they're continuously watching One video

after another video after another video

after another video they're engaged with

the external environment there is not

that transition so you can watch every

single video on this channel and never

change unless you start to do the

internal work makes sense right so for

anything that you want to develop an

intrinsic motivation for what you really

need to focus on is reflecting on what

you've learned and of course you have to

try stuff out that's usually in phase

two but we really want to reflect on

what we've learned to sort of Foster and

really support that internal interest

and if you do that you'll eventually

move to the last phase which is a

welldeveloped individual interest so

this is kind of phase four where at this

point you're you're going to look at

someone else and you're going to see

like when this person is passionate or

disciplined or Call It Whatever you want

to they have a sustained interest which

is intrinsically motivated at this point

they appear to be doers because they're

engaging with this stuff over time so

for anything that you want to develop

intrinsic motivation for you need to

reflect on what you've learned and ask

yourself questions about it so at this

point once again it's individual it's

intrinsically motivated but at this

point it is well developed it has a

certain degree of resilience and

stability to it this is where all the

the Olympic athletes that both of the

Olympic athletes that I've worked with

are this is where Esports professionals

I've worked with are this is where a lot

of doctors that I work with are

entrepreneurs CEOs they're all sort of

in this phase where they have a highly

developed sense of this thing and it's

sustainable over time now the really

interesting thing is that this phase is

characterized by two steps which often

times we try to do way too early which

can have paradoxically negative effects

so the first thing about this phase is

this is when we start to appreciate the

contributions of others so I'll give you

all a simple example okay so let's say

you Theory craft a particular build and

you have all your ideas about this build

and why it'll work and why it won't work

and then the interesting thing is once

you've done some Theory crafting you are

far more likely to understand the theory

crafting of someone else you're far more

likely to appreciate the theory crafting

of someone else know what it's like to

construct your own build so when someone

else comes up with a build you're like

oh that's really interesting how did

they come to that conclusion why are

they why do they have the stat

distribution that they have why do they

have the item timings that they have why

are they choosing to play this

combination of characters whatever the

game is it doesn't really matter but I

don't know if this kind of makes sense

but this is when you start to really

appreciate the contributions of others

since you've developed your own thought

process your own internal meta or

strategy you can appreciate the meta or

strategy of other people so for me for

example you know I read a ton and what

drives my reading is not necessarily

that I just want to learn it's not that

I'm an empty vessel I actually have a

lot of my own ideas about clinical work

Psychiatry Neuroscience spirituality so

now when I read someone else when I read

a textbook whether it's Aaron Beck's

like book on cognitive behavioral

therapy or it's you know the bhagwad

Gita by Krishna so whoever I read

Krishna morti it doesn't really matter

like now I have my own perspective and

now I absorb that information so much

more and it'll keep that momentum going

and as I'm sure youall can imagine the

more of this stuff that I read the more

of an expert I become the problem is

that if we engage in this stuff too

early it's important to get some degree

of exposure and I recognized that

earlier I said it's okay to watch a

YouTube video we need some kind of

external input but there's a big

difference between an external input

that Fosters my curiosity

and really having the bandwidth and

background to digest another way of

thinking right we're not experts at the

beginning we don't understand someone

else's meta we don't understand like

this person is break dancing this way

this person is break dancing this way

when I don't know how to break dance we

just want to watch 5 minute YouTube

videos that are like wow that's pretty

cool like I want to learn how to do that

later on we want to go more in depth and

what I find is that when people who are

in Phase One or phase two and they try

to read a lot of books about something

what they actually do is like this is

kind of boring it's not really that

engaging and the second thing that we

want to do to maintain phase four and to

really be sort of committed to something

is ask for feedback now this often times

confuses a lot of people because we have

this idea in life that we should all be

asking for feedback can I get feedback

can you give me feedback feedback

feedback feedback feedback about the

relationship why didn't you like the

date why did you like the date why

aren't you texting me I go why why did I

ghost you what am I doing right at work

what am I doing wrong at work what like

you know we're all so feedback obsessed

but it turns out that feedback can be

bad for you so remember that in Phase

One when we're first getting curious

about something when I go to the break

dancing class and I feel intimidated

because all these people there are so

strong and so graceful if I ask for

feedback what impact do you think that

will have if I feel some degree of

negativity towards the subject I'm

excited about it and I feel intimidated

and if I ask someone hey what do you

think about my break dancing and they

give me honest feedback yeah it seems

like you're pretty early and you have a

lot to work on if I have that negative

emotion feedback early on will actually

destroy my motivation and kill my

curiosity it will not develop into a

passion in order to receive feedback and

utilize feedback pretty well what we

really need is confidence in the subject

at hand the more stable and confident

the more sustained our interest is

negative feedback won't be able to

squash it in fact since I have a stable

interest in something when I receive

feedback then I can incorporate that

feedback because I have that foundation

and then I can grow now there are

absolutely cases where early on you want

feedback but what we sort of know from

scientific studies is that feedback

becomes more and more and more important

the further in your journey you are and

that early on if I take a six-year-old

kid and I say hey you got a bunch of

these math questions wrong or I'm

telling them you did this wrong in chess

and you did this wrong in chess and you

did this wrong in chess they're much

less likely to ever want to play chess

again and if you've given feedback to

some students you know even if you're

playing a video game what you'll find

you'll observe the same thing is that

not all human beings are capable of

receiving feedback we have this idea

that it's such a wonderful thing and we

should be giving it and receiving it all

the time but it requires a lot of

confidence instability to actually

receive and incorporate feedback so if

you follow these four steps it will

transition you from a thinker to a doer

we have Neuroscience studies that

literally show us okay when a human

becomes

curious this is what activates in their

brain and curiosity is not the same as

intrinsic motivation curiosity is a

desire for more external exposure let me

go see more of it let me touch it let me

play with it I'm looking for information

from the outside the problem is that for

so many of us we get so excited because

we get excited about this thing and we

want to play around with it but we don't

quite know how to make the transition

from temporary excitement to sustained

intrinsic motivation and what we really

need to do is follow these four steps

just exposing ourselves more we want

more and more input to feed our

curiosity but if we're not careful our

brain will eventually get bored of that

and it'll be like that's enough H let's

move on to the next thing because it'll

naturally get curious about something

else and then it'll be drawn to that

thing so how do you avoid switching over

to the next thing that's when you need

to switch to an intrinsic motivation you

need to start reflecting asking your

questions Theory crafting and as you all

know I don't know if this makes sense

but if you've ever Theory crafted

something the more you Theory craft the

more you want to play but think about

how powerful this is because you're not

getting external environmental exposures

at that point all of the Dy is

transitioning to Intrinsic and once that

drive to Intrinsic is there then we can

help it grow and Excel like you will

start to excel as you start to think

about other thinkers in the space

appreciating the other ways that people

make builds as well as soliciting and

incorporating feedback so if you're

someone who's struggled with intrinsic

motivation if you're someone who's just

a thinker instead of a doer I strongly

encourage yall to follow these steps and

I can't guarantee that you'll become an

Olympic aete but I certainly know that I

was a you know 19-year-old kid who was

failing out of college who got curious

about a thousand things I ran for

Student Government I was I joined a

fraternity I was playing I was trying to

clim climb the Warcraft 3 ladder I was

trying to date and all of it was a mess

and now it's like everything is going

well for me gratefully right so I have a

job that I'm relatively happy about I

have a relationship that I'm relatively

happy with I have a family that I'm

relatively proud of I still play video

games I'm climbing rank in mm are and

that's the really crazy thing right

because when we look at other people in

the world it seems like there are two

camps of people and this was something

that was so confusing to me because at

the beginning I thought like okay during

character creation in life everyone gets

the same amount of points right so like

I can level up strength but then that

comes at the cost of int or Charisma the

problem is that in the real world it

seems that the opposite is true having a

successful career that you love makes it

more likely for you to develop a healthy

relationship and if you have a healthy

and successful relationship and you have

a healthy and successful career then you

are more likely to be happy in life so

the real crazy thing is that if we look

in the real world it seems lopsided it

is completely imba some people have it

all and some people don't have any of it

and we look at this and we think to

ourselves how is this are some people

just fundamentally luckier do some

people get the the Short Straw and some

people get the long straw but it turns

out that no that's not actually the case

that there is specifically a

neuroscience-based skill progression

that allows you to take a simple

curiosity and turn it into a sustained

motivation and people who learn this

process because these Olympic athletes

that I worked with by the way one of

them was a student at Harvard Medical

School and it's like holy that's so

op how is it the these people are so

good at all of the stuff and I am so bad

at all of the stuff I literally mentored

someone whose resume was like three

times as good as mine it's wild and it

turns out that there is a methodology to

this there is skill behind it it just

like cooking or playing a video game or

learning how to talk to other human

beings this is something that you can

level up and follow these steps and we

hope that it'll work for you

one

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