What Your Anxiety Is Trying to Tell You | Tour Stop: San Diego
Summary
TLDRThe speaker explores the concept of goal-directed actions and the hierarchy of motivations, delving into the nature of emotions and their role in guiding behavior. They discuss how positive emotions propel us towards our goals, while negative emotions indicate obstacles. The talk also touches on the importance of shared narratives for societal unity and the pitfalls of postmodern skepticism towards overarching stories, advocating for a narrative that fosters internal and social harmony.
Takeaways
- 🔍 The script discusses the importance of understanding the hierarchy of goals and motivations in human behavior, emphasizing that actions are nested within a sequence of goal-directed actions.
- 🤔 It highlights the process of questioning 'why' to uncover deeper motivations, suggesting that people often cannot articulate the ultimate reasons behind their actions, hinting at a fundamental purpose or meaning.
- 🌐 The concept of 'reciprocal altruism' is introduced, suggesting that being productive and generous encourages others to do the same, leading to a more stable and harmonious society.
- 📚 The script touches on the idea of a 'divine order' and the eternal battle between good and evil, indicating a deeper, possibly religious or philosophical, substrate to human actions and motivations.
- 🚀 The speaker encourages making conscious what is often an implicit understanding of these motivations, suggesting it can lead to a more meaningful and directed life.
- 😞 Disappointment and anxiety are described as signals that a person's goal-directed pathway has been disrupted, leading to a state of complexity and uncertainty about how to proceed.
- 😖 Anxiety, in particular, is characterized as the emergence of multiple pathways when a singular, clear path to a goal is no longer available, causing a breakdown in attentional hierarchy.
- 😊 Positive emotions are linked to a clear pathway towards a valued goal, providing motivation and energy conservation as one moves closer to achieving that goal.
- 💡 The script explains that positive emotions not only propel action but also reinforce habits that are beneficial, while negative emotions indicate a need for reevaluation or change.
- 🎬 The process of empathy and understanding others is described through the mechanism of adopting the goals and emotions of characters in a narrative, such as in a movie.
- 🌱 The importance of a shared narrative for societal unity and peace is emphasized, suggesting that without a common understanding and direction, conflict and disunity arise.
- 🛑 The critique of postmodernism's skepticism towards meta-narratives is presented, warning of the dangers of internal and social disunity without a unifying narrative or story.
Q & A
Why does the speaker ask a series of 'why' questions to students?
-The speaker asks a series of 'why' questions to students to illustrate how their actions are nested in a sequence of goal-directed actions, which can be more or less sophisticated. This helps in understanding the underlying motivations and goals behind their actions.
What happens when people run out of explanations for their actions?
-When people run out of explanations for their actions, it indicates that their sequence of goal-directed actions lacks sophistication. They may become defensive or aggressive, as they haven't deeply considered the underlying reasons for their behavior.
How does the speaker describe the difference between sophisticated and unsophisticated goal-directed actions?
-Sophisticated goal-directed actions are nested within a well-developed hierarchy of answers and reasons, often reflecting complex motivations and long-term planning. Unsophisticated actions, on the other hand, are shallow and may only be a few steps deep, lacking deeper purpose or long-term goals.
What role does negative emotion play in goal-directed behavior?
-Negative emotion signals that an individual's current actions are not relevant to their goal or are interfering with it. It can lead to disappointment and anxiety, indicating that the pathway to the goal has been disrupted.
How does the speaker explain anxiety in relation to goal disruption?
-Anxiety arises when the pathway to a goal is disrupted, leading to a multiplicity of pathways and an inability to compute the necessary energy to achieve the goal. This results in chaos and a collapse of an organizing narrative.
What is the significance of positive emotion in goal-directed actions?
-Positive emotion impels individuals forward towards their goals. It is linked to the perception of a clear pathway to a valued goal, increasing efficiency and reducing energy demand as one progresses towards the goal. It also encourages the development of productive habits.
How does the brain's dopamine system relate to goal-directed behavior?
-The brain releases dopamine when an individual's actions successfully lead to a desired outcome. This dopamine release reinforces the neural circuits involved in those actions, making them stronger and more likely to be repeated, thus fostering positive habits and motivation.
What is the role of shared narratives in a civil society?
-Shared narratives are crucial for a civil society because they align individuals' emotional states and behaviors, making interactions predictable and reducing conflict. Without a uniting narrative, social disunity and internal conflict arise.
What critique does the speaker offer regarding postmodernism's view on narratives?
-The speaker critiques postmodernism for its skepticism of meta-narratives, arguing that this leads to internal disunion and social disunity. The postmodernist view that all narratives are about power and oppression is seen as overly dismal and impractical for fostering a peaceful and productive society.
How does the speaker connect the idea of play and romantic love to a well-organized life?
-The speaker suggests that play and romantic love represent the manifestation of a wise instinct that orients individuals towards meaning and positive relationships. Engaging in play and romantic love in adulthood can lead to a fulfilling life and harmonious relationships.
What does the speaker imply about the importance of fairness in business relationships?
-Fairness in business relationships is essential for long-term success. Providing reliable service and delivering on promises builds positive emotions and trust with customers and employees, fostering repeat business and a good reputation, while dishonesty leads to failure and resentment.
Outlines
🤔 The Pursuit of Goals and the Nature of Disappointment
The speaker begins by illustrating the concept of goal-directed actions, using the Socratic method to question the motives behind everyday activities. They explain how people often have a hierarchy of reasons for their actions, which can range from simple desires to complex philosophical justifications. The discussion then shifts to the emotional responses of disappointment and anxiety, which arise when the expected pathway to a goal is disrupted. The speaker uses the metaphor of a car breaking down to explain how such disruptions can lead to a cascade of anxious thoughts about the consequences and alternatives. The paragraph concludes with the idea that understanding and making conscious one's underlying motivations and beliefs can be beneficial.
😨 Anxiety as a Signal of Narrative Disruption
This paragraph delves into the role of anxiety as an indicator of complexity and the loss of a clear path towards a goal. The speaker describes how anxiety emerges when the body cannot efficiently allocate resources to achieve an objective, and how it signals the reemergence of chaos in one's life. They also discuss the positive emotions associated with moving towards a goal, explaining how positive emotions like enthusiasm are linked to a clear pathway forward and are reinforced by the brain's dopamine release, which encourages the development of beneficial habits. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of emotions in guiding actions and the significance of a coherent narrative in one's life.
👥 Shared Narratives and the Basis of Society
The speaker discusses the importance of shared narratives in creating a unified and peaceful society. They argue that understanding others' goals and emotions is crucial for social cohesion, and that this is achieved by adopting the same frame of reference as others. The paragraph highlights the idea that a lack of a unifying narrative can lead to internal and social disunity, with the potential for conflict. The speaker criticizes postmodernist skepticism towards meta-narratives, suggesting that it can lead to a fragmented and unhappy existence, and instead promotes the idea of a shared story that unites people in their internal and social lives.
🤝 The Importance of Ethos in Relationships and Business
In this paragraph, the speaker explores the importance of a proper ethos in maintaining healthy relationships and successful business practices. They argue that self-tyranny, oppressive relationships, and exploitative business practices are not only unsustainable but also lead to misery and conflict. The speaker advocates for fairness, reliability, and good treatment of employees as the foundation for a prosperous business. They also touch on the idea of rediscovering the spirit of play and romantic love as a means to maintain meaningful relationships and a joyful life, drawing a parallel to the teachings of Christ about becoming like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Goal-directed actions
💡Sophistication
💡Disappointment
💡Anxiety
💡Positive emotion
💡Narrative
💡Postmodernism
💡Power and oppression
💡Play and romantic love
💡Ethos
💡Dopamine
Highlights
The concept of nested goal-directed actions and the process of questioning 'why' to understand underlying motivations.
The idea that people may have difficulty articulating the ultimate reasons for their actions, revealing a hierarchy of values.
The notion of sophistication in life goals and how it relates to the depth of one's value hierarchy.
The discussion on reciprocal altruism and its role in encouraging productivity and generosity for societal benefits.
The exploration of the 'religious substrate' and the deep-seated beliefs that influence our actions and reactions.
The role of disappointment and anxiety as signals for the disruption of goal-oriented pathways.
Anxiety as a response to the emergence of multiple pathways when a singular goal is obstructed.
The analogy of a car breaking down to explain the onset of anxiety due to disrupted plans.
The explanation of how positive emotions propel us towards valued goals and the link to action.
The neurochemical basis of positive emotions, including the role of dopamine in motivation and habit formation.
The advice against forming habits of pursuing things detrimental to oneself due to the internalization of negative patterns.
The energy conservation aspect of positive emotions and how they signify increasing efficiency in goal achievement.
The role of narratives in understanding characters in movies and the emotional resonance with audiences.
The importance of shared narratives for unity and peace within society and the pitfalls of narrative disunity.
The critique of postmodernist skepticism towards meta-narratives and the potential for internal and social disunity.
The discussion on the necessity of a uniting narrative for societal cohesion and the implications of its absence.
The idea that the instinct for play and romantic love may represent a deep orientation to meaning and a wise approach to life.
The importance of aligning actions with positive values such as honesty, reliability, and fairness for societal harmony.
The conclusion that narratives guiding attention and values are essential for personal and societal well-being.
Transcripts
so imagine you have a goal in mind you
want to get to work in the
morning I used to ask my students
question like this is like what maybe
they're going to write an
essay why are you writing the essay why
are you in class I'm in class because I
uh I need to I need this class because I
it's part of my major why why did you
why did you pick a major like that well
I'm interested in psychology well why
did you come to get a degree well um I
think I need a degree to get a job well
why do you need a job well I need a job
to keep Body and Soul together and maybe
to be productive and maybe to you know
establish a name for myself and why do
you want to do that well because you
know it's it's part and parcel of living
properly and why do you want to live
properly and well then and how would you
live if you live properly and at that
point people are usually unable to
answer you know because you can just
push people with questions about why
until they run out of explanations but
the point is is that you're always doing
whatever you're doing because what
you're doing is nested in a sequence of
goal directed actions and those can be
more or less sophisticated if you're not
very sophisticated at all you the
nesting might be like two structures
deep you know maybe you're uh I don't
know you're bored and you want to go get
drunk you know and why well because you
don't want to be bored and and and if
someone pushes you a little farther than
that you just you hit them and you know
you don't you don't want to delve into
it but if you're sophisticated you have
a pretty good high hierarchy of of of of
answers so you might say well why why do
you want to be a productive in generous
Citizen and and and like I said people
usually bought them out there but you
could say well that's part of reciprocal
altruism and if I'm productive and
generous then that'll encourage other
people to be productive and generous and
if we're all prodive I and generous
together then there'll be more for
everyone and we'll all get along better
and we'll get along for a longer period
of time and that'll make us all more
stable and that or make our societies
better and then you might say what why
is that relevant you might say well
because the alternative to that is
something like a descent into something
approximating hell and so that's part of
a reflection of the divine order and the
eternal battle between good and evil and
then you could push it farther than that
and you could say well are you going to
be on the side of the Redemptive hero
are you going to be side on the side of
the Eternal adversary like you can keep
digging down farther and farther and the
farther down you dig you the more you
get down into what you might describe as
the implicit religious substrate and
uh and it's very much useful to know
that and to make as much of that
conscious as possible so now imagine
that you've uh you've come to this talk
tonight because you've decided to aim up
and maybe you haven't formulated that
precisely explicitly but something is
driving you in this direction and then
you come to the talk and you find out
that I'm talking about something that
isn't what you expected and it doesn't
seem to be moving you along on your
pathway forward to that end what's going
to happen is you're going to be
disappointed and you might be anxious
too you're going to be disappointed
because disappointment signals that
you're experiencing something that's not
relevant to the goal that you are
attempting to pursue and that might in
fact be interfering with it that's what
negative emotion does and maybe if
you're disappointed in what I say that
also makes you anxious because you
assume that you would come here and I
would say something relevant because you
assumed that you knew who I was and then
it turned out that I didn't and then you
don't know who I am and then you don't
know what you're doing here and then you
get anxious and the reason you get
anxious is because that's what anxiety
is four it tells you when the pathway to
your goal has been disrupted so multiple
Pathways have now emerged so imagine
you're driving your car to work and it
quits and what happens is you get
anxious and the reason you get anxious
is because well you were beadling along
quite nicely in your world and
everything was reduced to like a
unidimensional Simplicity you weren't in
a car as an object you were in a thing
that took you to where you wanted to go
and it was just doing what it was
supposed to be doing tracking you along
the pathway to your goal and then it
fails and you're off on the side of the
road and you get anxious because how the
hell are you going to get to work and
what if you don't get to work and is
your boss not going to be very happy
with you and maybe this is the third
mistake you've made this week and what
if you get fired and weren't you an
idiot for buying this car maybe you
shouldn't have a car at all maybe you
should have walk to work and you know
maybe you should take a bicycle because
after all that would save the planet and
you know and maybe now you have to take
your car to a mechanic but the last time
you went to the mechanic you got ripped
off cuz you're too stupid about vehicles
to manage one and you're kind of stupid
about technology in general and aren't
you stupid and maybe you're too stupid
and isn't your wife going to that's
anxiety right and that's the emergence
of a multiplicity of Pathways right and
so what anxiety signifies is the
degeneration of a an attentional
hierarchy into multiplicity and the
reason you get anxious and it feels bad
is because now your body can't compute
how much energy you have to put out in
order to get to your
goal and so you you can't organize the
world you're you're you're apt to use
more resources then you'll replenish and
if you continue to do that then you'll
die and so anxiety is a signal that
complexity has reemerged chaos that's
the Eternal Dragon of chaos chaos has
reemerged because your narrative has
collapsed and so
so that's negative emotion that's what
negative emotion signifies is that it's
the it's the collapse of an organizing
narrative and so that's very interesting
to know so you feel positive if I walk
on the
stage and I see I know I'm supposed to
go to the front of the stage say and the
reason I want to do that is because I
know I have to talk to you and that's NE
and I want to talk to you because I
think it's valuable to talk to you Etc
that's nested in a hierarchy of value
and if I see a clear
pathway to the front of the stage then
that actually produces positive emotion
and that positive emotion impels me
forward because positive emotion does
impel you forward that's what it's for
that's how positive emotion is linked to
action so if you're
enthusiastic you're enthusiastic because
you can see a pathway forward to a
valued goal and that enthusiasm
manifests itself this is true even
neurochemically it manifest test itself
as positive motivation to move forward
and not only that if you're moving
forward and it's working your brain
tracks the fact that it's working and
then that's linked to dopamine release
by the way which is what cocaine
releases um it's linked to dopamine
release and the other thing your brain
is doing even when you're just walking
to where you want to go if you're
successfully walking there your brain
tracks what you're doing there's
circuits that are activated while you're
doing it and if what you're doing
results in the result you desired then
the dopamine floods those little neurons
that are active and makes them grow and
and flourish and so as you practice
something that's working the circuit
that is activated as you're practicing
is bathed in dopamine and that that
makes it stronger and that feels good
it's growth it's part of positive
emotion and so the positive emotion
moves you forward but also in encourages
you to develop a habit of that practice
and so one of the things I would bloody
well say is don't make a habit of
pursuing things that aren't good for you
because you build That Into You that's
what happens if you become addicted to
something you know you build a little
monster inside you that's grown it's
there it's it's after one goal uh
despite everything else not a good
outcome so now positive emotion also
signals the fact that it's also an
energy
conservation observation so as I move
forward towards my goal with each step I
take it's going to take less energy to
get to the goal and so that means I'm
that that the positive emotion
signifies what would you say it
signifies the increasing efficiency of
Your Action As you move towards a goal
so negative emotion signifies the fact
that things have got too complex for you
to to manage and positive emotion
signifies that you're approaching your
goal and becoming and that there's less
Demand on energy output with every step
forward and so that's emotion and that's
pretty much worth knowing and then what
happens when you're watching a movie is
you you you infer the goal of the
protagonist or or the or the villain for
that matter you infer the goal of the
character that's being portrayed on the
screen you adopt that goal as your own
then you play out the emotions in your
own body which mimics the structure
that's that what would you call the
character that's being portrayed on the
screen and you live that all out inside
you and that's also how you understand
other people right you don't listen to
someone and then figure out what they're
saying and then infer what they're
thinking that isn't how it works what
you do is you listen to someone until
you figure out what they're up to as
soon as you figure out what they're up
to you can adopt that frame of reference
as soon as you adopt that frame of
reference you have the same emotions and
that's what makes you United and so
that's so interesting so then you think
look there's 5,000 people in here if
there were 5,000 chimpanzees you'd guys
would be tearing each other into shreds
cuz no one would be able to know what
anyone else was up to but because all of
you are here paying attention to the
same thing in the same way you have
virtually identical emotional States and
that means instantly your behavior is
rendered predictable to one another and
there's no difference between that and
peace they're the same thing and so what
that means is that one of the predicates
of a civil productive and peaceful
Society is that everyone inhabits the
same
narrative and you might say well we
don't need the same narrative it's like
yes we do because if we inhabit a
different narrative then we're running
emotionally in different directions and
we will not understand each other and we
will run into conflict and that conflict
can become deadly at at the drop of a
hat and so it's it's a precondition for
a civil society that everyone is united
in the same narrative and then that begs
the question right what is the narrative
in so far as we're unified and another
question which is what should the
narrative be right now the
postmodernists figured out that we look
at the world through a story but they
said they became their Mantra is they
became skeptical of meta narratives
which are uniting narratives and that's
all well and good to be skeptical about
meta narratives but you run into the
problem of internal disunion because if
you don't have a uniting narrative then
you're divided against yourself and you
run into the problem of social disunity
because if we're not looking at the same
thing for the same reason then we can't
get along and those are big problems now
the way the
postmodernists glided over that immense
cataclysmic problem was to offer the
proposition that the narrative that
unites us is just one of power and
oppression right and that the
fundamental motivation that guides first
of all even your internal organization
your own internal tyranny you know
you're oppressing your ID or your
natural self and then if you establish a
relationship with someone like a
marriage well that's just a
manifestation of patriarchal oppression
and if you organize a business
relationship it's a relationship of
mutual exploitation and so far and so on
all the way up the political hierarchy
all the way back into the past a more
dismal view of human existence couldn't
possibly be formulated and I always
think about it as a kind of implicit
confession it's like so you think the
world's all run by power do
you okay I know what game you're playing
and attempting to justify and it's
completely bloody Preposterous because
first of all if you tyrannize yourself
you're going to be one miserable
creature plus you're going to Rebel
constantly as you already know I'm sure
all of you have tried at one time or
another in your life to force yourself
to do something with a whip so to speak
and what you in instantly find is that
you're so condemned to be free that
you'll even resist your own tyranny
right try telling yourself to do
something and see if you do it I'm going
to go to the gym that's New Year's I'm
going to the gym three times a week two
hours a day it's like no you're not
you're going to last like 3 days and
then you're going to find an excuse the
rebellious part of you is going to find
an excuse then you're not going to do it
and it's a bloody mystery isn't it
because you'd think you could tell
yourself what to do because otherwise
who are you you know
you're the part that told yourself what
to do but you don't listen so what the
hell's that part that's you that's for
sure so you can't even tyrannize
yourself with any efficiency and then if
you're
married men you're married try tyring
your wife and and see how well that
works and like it might work for 10
minutes but she's not as big as you but
she's a lot sneakier and so and you have
to wake up with her tomorrow morning and
so even if you do win the fight which
you won't she's going to bloody well
take it out on you the next day and no
wonder and so you're bound in that
relationship by the necessity of
continual iterative interactions right
and they have to be moderately peaceful
or you're going to tear each other into
shreds and if it's constant conflict
you're both going to just exhaust
yourself and die so how the hell is that
going to work so it has to be at least
mutually reinforcing and maybe if you
really got it together well you could
interact with each other in a way that
improved your interactions across time
and maybe you're wise enough so that if
you were on that track the way you would
experience that in the moment would be
as exactly the kind of relationship
you'd want to have with someone and that
would be something like the spirit of
play and romantic love and that would be
the manifestation of an instinct that
orients you across time properly in a
relationship in the moment and that's
such a wonderful thing to know right
that instinct for play and romantic love
might be the voice of the wisest
Instinct you have the deepest
orientation to meaning that you have you
know because there's nothing more
delightful in a marriage or in a family
if you have children than to be able to
engage in something like voluntary play
and you know if you could have the world
set up the way you would want it to if
you had any sense wouldn't it be
something if mostly what you did was
something akin to play and that's
equivalent Christ in the gospel says
know that unless you become like a
little child you'll never enter the
kingdom of heaven and what does that
mean it it means to ReDiscover that
intense immersion in life and that
capacity for play that characterized us
all as children that we can't maintain
because we have to mature but that we
could ReDiscover as adults if we were
sufficiently wise and careful and so and
then you know if you have friends it's
like well you you tyrannize your friends
well then you don't have friends you're
just a bully with henchmen and as soon
as you stumble they're going to stab you
in the back cuz you surrounded yourself
with Craven Psychopaths they're just
going to wait for the moment to take you
out that's not a friendship obviously
and if you're running a business and
those of you who've run businesses who
have a clue no this is true it's like
what happens if you rip off your
customers well you can get away with it
once or twice but word gets around in no
time flat and then you're just done and
bitter and resentful because your idiot
machinations didn't work but if you
engage in fair trade and you're reliable
and you deliver what you promised and
you're half decently good to your
employees and the people that you work
for then they're going to be pleased
with you and they're going to come back
and they're going to talk to their
friends about how well you did and
you're going to flourish and none of
that's arbitrary you know that's all
Guided by the manifestation of a certain
form of attentional priority right you
go to your customer's house maybe you're
a plumber and the first thing you do is
you listen to their damn problem and so
at least you have enough sense to engage
in dialogos right you you you actually
want to hear what the problem is and
then you actually want to solve it and
if if you do that with some diligence
they're going to be pleased with you
because they don't want sewage all over
the rug and so your interests are
aligned and if you offer what you
promise then you're going to evoke
positive emotion in them and quell their
anxiety and that's exactly the service
that you're offering
and so that means you're acting out the
proper story you're productive and
generous and honest and there's nothing
arbitrary about that as a as a ethos
that unites you internally and that also
makes it possible for you to exist in a
peaceful and productive Society
[Music]
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