The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus.
Summary
TLDRThis video script narrates a personal journey through the self-help industry, highlighting its allure and potential pitfalls. The speaker shares how self-improvement books initially boosted confidence but led to an addictive cycle of consumption without tangible progress. Warning against the industry's profit-driven motives and the culture of 'hustle', the script advocates for genuine self-reflection and practical action over endless content consumption.
Takeaways
- 📚 The speaker was introduced to self-development through Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', which sparked a year-long journey of personal growth.
- 🌀 The allure of self-development led to a cycle of consuming books, guru advice, and various self-help materials, creating a sense of constant progress and motivation.
- 💡 The feeling of accomplishment from self-help content can be addictive, often leading to a cycle of buying more materials without actual progress.
- 🚫 The self-help industry is a multi-billion dollar business that capitalizes on dissatisfaction and the desire for self-improvement, potentially leading to overconsumption.
- 🤔 The speaker encourages questioning the motives of self-help gurus and the real value of the content they produce, to avoid falling into the trap of endless consumption.
- 💭 The speaker experienced a loss of passion for acting, which contradicted the self-help narrative of constant positivity and success, leading to a realization that struggle is a natural part of life.
- 🔄 The concept of 'hustle culture' within self-help promotes working hard without necessarily working smart, which can lead to burnout and ineffective efforts.
- 🛑 The speaker warns against the darker sides of the self-help industry, which may create illusions of progress and keep consumers hooked on the next product or idea.
- 📈 The importance of taking action and applying self-help advice is highlighted, as opposed to merely consuming content without making meaningful changes.
- 📘 The speaker recommends practical books like 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle and 'Unscripted' by MJ DeMarco, which provide genuine insights without promoting dependency.
- 👍 The speaker appreciates the viewers for watching and encourages them to reflect on the traps of the self-help industry and to apply discernment in their personal development journey.
Q & A
What was the catalyst for the speaker's initial interest in self-development?
-The speaker's curiosity was piqued when they saw a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' in the hands of a friend, which eventually led to their exploration of self-development.
How did the speaker's life change after they started reading self-development books?
-The speaker began to focus on various aspects of self-improvement such as joining a gym, paying attention to diet, scheduling their days, and taking their passion for acting more seriously.
What is the term the speaker uses to describe the illusion of progress felt after consuming self-help content?
-The speaker refers to this as 'action faking', a concept where one feels accomplished without making actual progress.
What is the estimated worth of the self-help industry by 2022, according to the script?
-The self-help industry is estimated to be worth thirteen point six billion dollars by 2022.
Why does the speaker believe that the self-help industry profits from people's dissatisfaction?
-The speaker suggests that the self-help industry thrives on people's feelings of inadequacy, which makes them more likely to consume self-help products and services in search of improvement.
What is the term 'hustle culture' as described in the script, and what are its potential issues?
-Hustle culture is described as a romanticized concept of working hard for the sake of working hard, with potential issues including burnout and working hard at the wrong things.
What is the speaker's view on the concept of 'hustle' in the self-help community?
-The speaker criticizes the concept of 'hustle' as being overemphasized and potentially misleading, as it can lead to working hard without achieving meaningful results.
What personal realization did the speaker have about their passion for acting after being involved in the self-help industry?
-The speaker realized that they were losing their passion for acting, which led to feelings of dread and doubt, and that the self-help industry had made them feel that having negative thoughts was wrong.
What advice does the speaker give regarding the consumption of self-help content?
-The speaker advises to be cautious and question the value of self-help content, to avoid falling into the trap of consuming more than one puts into action.
What are some of the practices the speaker found genuinely helpful in their life?
-The speaker found going to the gym, eating healthier, having a regular sleep schedule, writing down goals, meditating, and reading practical books to be genuinely helpful practices.
What two books does the speaker highly recommend and why?
-The speaker recommends 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle and 'Unscripted' by MJ DeMarco because they felt these books provided practical advice without promoting artificial motivation or dependency on products.
Outlines
📚 The Allure of Self-Development
The speaker recounts their journey into the world of self-development, which began with curiosity about a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People.' After a year of procrastination, they delved into self-improvement, engaging in various activities like reading, exercising, and following self-help gurus. This led to a surge in confidence and motivation, but also to the realization of some underlying issues within the self-development industry.
💡 The Illusion of Progress in Self-Help
This paragraph delves into the addictive nature of self-help, driven by the dopamine rush that comes from the feeling of accomplishment after consuming self-help content. The speaker warns about the illusion of progress and the potential for action faking, which is engaging in activities that seem productive but do not lead to tangible results. They highlight the self-help industry's profitability, questioning the motives of gurus and the real value they provide.
💸 The Business of Self-Help and Its Pitfalls
The speaker discusses the self-help industry as a massive business, capitalizing on people's dissatisfaction and desire for improvement. They caution against the trap of endless consumption of self-help products and the chase for motivation, which can lead to financial strain and a lack of real progress. The paragraph also touches on the darker side of the industry, where profits are made at the expense of consumers' genuine well-being.
🚫 The Struggle with Hustle Culture and Real Progress
In this paragraph, the speaker reflects on their personal experience with the concept of 'hustle culture' within self-help, which promotes constant hard work without necessarily focusing on the right tasks. They discuss the risks of burnout and the importance of working smart rather than just hard. The speaker also shares their realization that struggle is a natural part of life and that the self-help industry often glosses over this reality.
🛑 A Word of Caution for Self-Help Seekers
The final paragraph serves as a cautionary note for those interested in self-help. The speaker emphasizes the importance of discernment when consuming self-help content and questions the need for constant consumption of books, courses, and seminars. They share their personal journey of realizing the limitations of the self-help industry and the importance of finding balance and authenticity in one's pursuit of self-improvement.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-development
💡Dale Carnegie
💡Procrastination
💡Motivation
💡Dopamine
💡Action Faking
💡Hustle Culture
💡Burnout
💡Artificial Motivation
💡Self-Help Industry
💡Struggle
Highlights
The speaker's journey into self-development began with curiosity about a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.
The impact of Dale Carnegie's book led to a year of self-improvement activities including gym attendance and diet changes.
The speaker's immersion in self-development led to following various gurus and adopting practices like meditation and visualization.
Despite feeling more confident and motivated, the speaker began to notice issues within the self-development world.
A warning is issued about the potential toxicity within the self-development industry.
The self-help industry's profitability relies on individuals' dissatisfaction and the illusion of progress.
The concept of 'action faking' is introduced as a form of procrastination where one feels accomplished without actual progress.
The self-help industry is criticized for creating an addictive cycle of consumption without substantial personal growth.
The estimated worth of the self-help industry and its reliance on continuous consumer spending is highlighted.
The speaker reflects on their naive belief in the self-help community's genuine intent to improve lives.
A critique of the self-help industry's exploitation of consumers' insecurities and the pressure to constantly seek improvement.
The realization that the self-help industry thrives on consumers' discontent and the pursuit of the next best thing.
The speaker's personal experience with losing passion for acting and the struggle to reconcile this with self-help teachings.
The acknowledgment of the need to accept struggle and the limitations of the self-help industry's positive messaging.
A critique of 'hustle culture' within self-help, emphasizing the importance of working smart, not just hard.
The dangers of burnout and ineffective efforts from blindly following the self-help industry's advice on constant work.
The speaker's recommendation of practical books and practices that have genuinely contributed to their life.
A final warning about the potential traps of the self-help industry and the importance of critical thinking and self-reflection.
Transcripts
I still remember how it started it was
four years ago I just finished a normal
day of school and went to me up with one
of my best friends as I approached him
outside the school gates I noticed a
book in his hands and me being the
curious kid that I was asked him what he
was reading the front cover looked ugly
it was an obnoxious read with a font
that didn't look quite right but what
fascinated me was the title how to win
friends and influence people it took me
a whole year of procrastinating before I
finally decided to do it I ordered Dale
Carnegie's book from Amazon and I
started reading and just like that I was
hooked
self development consumed me I signed up
to the local gym I started paying
attention to what I was eating
I started scheduling my days out I
started taking my passion for acting at
the time more seriously I read book
after book after book I followed all the
Guru's I was told to follow meditating
taking cold showers reading affirmations
to myself visualizing my goals I read
more I exercised more I hustled more I
felt more confident and motivated than I
had ever felt before
this is it I told myself this is what my
life had been missing everything was
perfect
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at least that's what I wanted people to
think the world of self-development had
changed many things for me but there
were some glaring issues issues that I
had to come face-to-face with and let
this video be a warning to those of you
that are looking to improve your life or
situation wherever you're at I've been
wanting to make this video since
starting this channel and I've finally
plucked up the courage to do it so get
ready to sit back relax and join me as
we dive into the toxic world of
self-development
[Music]
[Music]
Hey
are you looking to improve your life do
you want to change your current
situation have you had enough of having
enough do you want more happiness money
do you want to be liked do you want
people to notice you more okay hi do you
want to prove them wrong the people that
you know don't believe you can achieve
something great this is where it begins
at least for me is started here the
reason I procrastinated on buying Dale
Carnegie's book was because I never felt
the need to that was until my first year
of college for whatever reason I
struggled to fit in and find my place in
that first year although technically I
had friends that was this underlying
sense of loneliness like I just wasn't
myself I was constantly worried about
what other people were thinking of me
and I had this unhealthy desire to be
liked by everyone then I got to a point
where I said enough was enough I didn't
like feeling the way I did so I decided
to make a change and that is what
brought me to the world of self-help
this context is important to note
because one of the biggest reasons for
someone wanting to improve themselves is
because they have a sense of
dissatisfaction with where they're
currently app and there's nothing wrong
with our sentiment wanting to change
your current situation because you're
unhappy with it is a very powerful thing
to do the problem here lies in your
vulnerability if you're in a dark place
and you're looking to get out of it you
can be susceptible to certain problems
self development has a nice lure to it
doesn't it a world of people trying to
be better versions of themselves a world
where you take control over your life
and decisions a world that makes you
feel like you're making progress like
you're maturing and doing what nobody
else's this is it you tell yourself
whilst everyone else is partying and
indulging in short-term pleasures I'm
gonna be working on myself if it was
great doesn't it you feel better about
yourself
own
it feels like you've climbed right out
of that dark place you were just in
you've taken the bait you've trusted a
new voice in your head and that is when
you become blind to the traps that lie
in wait self-help makes you feel good
there's no doubt about it
there's this amazing feeling of
satisfaction that I felt after finishing
the final page of every self-help book
that I read I had a rise in motivation I
felt like I just completed the level of
some video game and my character had
just leveled up you see after every
self-help book that you read off that
every self-help video that you watch
there is a surge of dopamine that rises
straight into your brain that feeling of
accomplishing something after reading
each book made me feel incredible and
after finishing that self-help book I
would go straight onto Amazon and order
a bunch of new ones that psycho would
repeat itself many times over buy a new
book feel a strong sense of motivation
after reading it and then buy another
book and on and on and on it went if you
still don't see the problem with what's
going on here let's take a look at the
addictive side of dopamine
the reason anything becomes addictive is
not because of the thing itself the
reason someone becomes addicted to a
drug is not the drugs it's what the drug
does to your brain that rush of dopamine
is what gets you hooked and make no
mistake it is easy to get hooked to
self-help whether orchestrated or not
the self-help world can pull you
very massive illusion the illusion of
progress after reading that book you
feel accomplished after attending that
seminar
you feel accomplished after watching
that self-help video you feel
accomplished you feel like you've
achieved something great and have done
something really productive that
motivation lingers in your system urging
you to buy the next book attend the next
seminar watch the next video it's only
when you take a second to pause and
reflect when you realize nothing has
changed one of my favorite authors MJ
DeMarco has a concept in his book called
action faking which is doing things that
make you feel like you've accomplished
something even though no actual progress
has been made it's that weird urge you
get to clean your room when an important
assignment is due it's creating a
schedule and then calling it a day's
work once you're finished it's reading
about business but never actually
starting one its buying the business
cards instead of actually picking up the
phone and making a sale action faking is
an even more lethal form of
procrastination because you're tricking
yourself into thinking that you're
actually making progress so let this be
your first warning you don't need to
read every self-help book out there or
attend every seminar or buy every online
course or listen to every business
podcast there's a time when you're doing
too much consuming and the action that
needs to be taken is postponed this is
the first trap that so many people get
themselves into and it has dramatic
consequences at the end of it an empty
wallet a whole bunch of temporary
motivation and a gut-wrenching
realization in the back of your mind
that knows you haven't achieved anything
yet
you haven't made any progress you only
got better at convincing yourself that
you did
but behind this self-help addiction is
something more sinister because on the
back of your constant purchases and your
constant chasing of motivation someone
is profiting someone is winning question
is who
[Music]
here's something you might not know the
self-help industry is estimated to be
worth thirteen point six billion dollars
by 2022 with five point six percent
average yearly gains to put it lightly
people are making Bank off of
self-development the selling of books
seminars online programs podcasts blogs
coaching live speaking events are some
of the main mediums used so why does
this matter
I remember being obsessed with certain
gurus when I started getting into this I
happily would take out my wallet and
spend money on their books their
products and continue consuming their
content with a smile on my face and that
all-too-familiar feeling of artificial
motivation the thing is I never
questioned their motives
I saw the self-development world as a
secret community that I was a part of a
community of other individuals looking
to better themselves sure these gurus
were making money but they were
providing so much value in return they
were trying to make my life better right
pause this type of naive thinking
becomes problematic when you're dealing
with an industry that is worth billions
you are more profitable to the self-help
industry unhappy and discontent than you
are happy and fulfilled remember when we
talked about how you have to come from a
place of being dissatisfied with
yourself in order to want to improve
your life well the business of self-help
knows that in fact they rely on that
feeling of inadequacy to pull you in oh
and they're very aware of how addicting
self-help can be a combination of you
feeling inadequate and you getting a
small high every time you consume
self-help content turns you into an avid
consumer of their products and make no
mistake many of these gurus will
continue to make product after which
their own self-help addicted core fan
base they are urging them to produce
more and more products and then you fall
into the trap of looking for the next
big thing a trap that further adds to
your consuming instincts you think to
yourself that you just need one more
thing before you find the secret before
everything changes then
big secrets losing weight the next best
business model to land yourself in the
world of financial freedom the new
hidden secret to unlocking your
charismatic self the one meditation
trick that will unlock your third eye
and so on and so on and so on and as you
continue consuming thinking to yourself
this time things are gonna be different
your wallet continues to dry up and you
never truly find yourself progressing or
improving yourself no all you've done is
made yourself a consumer of the
self-help industry so here's your next
warning the self-help industry is a huge
business and it is relying on you not
being content for you to continue
consuming the goods and services that it
produces be careful question your
favorite gurus question the real value
of the books and the courses and the
seminars that you attend ask yourself do
I really need to be told to write down
my goal seven different times in seven
different books from seven different
gurus ask yourself have I consumed more
from this industry than I have actually
put into action
I felt amazing after that first year of
discovering self-help the amount of
confidence that I had myself skyrocketed
I was happier than I had ever been I
wasn't looking back anymore
the old lonely wanting to be liked by
everyone else a version of me that was
gone the unhappy me that wasn't there
anymore I wish someone knew I felt like
someone knew I didn't ever want to go
back to feeling like I did before I'm
going to be successful is what I told
everybody and at that time success for
me was becoming one of the world's best
actors but of course this is never how
reality plays out it sounds really silly
but at the time I truly felt like I was
going to be happy forever or at least in
this constant state of motivation self
development is its own bubble you're
surrounded with positive messages
everyone's telling everyone you're all
gonna be successful oil gurus are making
posts about being happy and blocking out
those negative thoughts but just like
any bubble there's always a burst and my
burst came when I started losing my
passion for acting
[Music]
in that moment it seemed like my whole
world was turning upside down since I
was a kid I told everyone that this was
my dream this was my passion that I was
never gonna quit being an actor because
that's what self-help taught me to do
never quit I had made myself out to be
this person who was destined to be
successful someone who had all ish
together and now as my passion began to
falter I was left with his deep sense of
dread and doubt and I never said a word
to anyone not for a long time I tried to
convince myself that I wasn't losing my
passion that I had everything in check
as I always had that nothing had changed
why you might ask
because in this bubble of
self-development surrounded by positive
messages I was made to believe that
negative thoughts about quitting were
wrong and even worse I felt like if I
accepted those feelings of unhappiness
with what I was doing I would go back to
being the old version of me the version
of me before self-help it took me a
whole year of inner self talk and obey
until I finally realized I had to come
to terms with quitting and I had to
accept the truth that the world of
self-development was trying to hide from
me there will always be struggle and
that's okay it's okay to not be okay
amidst this sea of people spouting the
same positive optimistic good vibes
messages I realized that the actual
meaningful things are created through
struggle
[Music]
rich people don't sleep eight hours a
day that's a third of your life if you
want it if you want this it's work work
like hell I mean you just have to put in
you know 80 hour and you don't hurt our
weeks every week cuz that got to hustle
muscle and he's like what I said I got
to hustle muscle work hard work working
hard hard work work harder and work hard
hard work hard work
[Music]
in this new world of Instagram
entrepreneurs fake gurus and humble
bragging a whole new culture has been
formed and it runs deep in much of the
self-help world the term hustle has
become a buzzword and even I'm guilty of
using it this idea of grinding working
harder than everyone else being
productive every second of the day is a
principle that has become well tore in
the self-help community now let me be
clear I'm not saying that working hard
is a bad thing if you're trying to be
successful with anything in a relatively
crowded market you are going to have to
work hard at the right thing
the problem with hustle culture is that
it's about working hard for the sake of
working hard it's become this
romanticized concept it's about sounding
like you're busy and working towards
success even though you're not achieving
anything it feels good to pretend that
you're hustling but I can guarantee you
that the people who are bragging about
working hard and hustling online are
actually doing a whole lot of
procrastination and action faking and
then there are those that are actually
working every single hour of the day
trying to make something work for
themselves because that's what hustle
culture taught them is the right thing
to do but that is also problematic
working hard is one piece of the puzzle
working hard at the right thing is the
final piece of that puzzle
[Music]
there are two immediate problems with
working hard 24/7 I have found the first
is being at risk of burnout a state of
emotional physical and mental exhaustion
caused by excessive prolonged stress the
second is working hard at the wrong
thing you could have a fitness blog and
be working on that 24/7 updating it with
new posts and new posts but the chances
of you actually getting somewhere are
very slim there are thousands of fitness
blogs out there it would be really
difficult for you to find your own
unique selling point that blog isn't
solving any real problems and if you had
just taken the time out of your hustling
to reflect on your strategy you would
have noticed that sooner but instead you
continue to work hard thinking that that
is all you need to be successful once
more the darker sides of the self-help
industry revolve around casting a shadow
over your eyes making you feel as though
you've accomplished something when you
actually haven't keeping you hooked to
the next product and the next product or
in the case of hustling keeping you
attached to the idea that advice like
working hard encompasses everything it
takes to be successful it doesn't it's a
facade and the darker sides of the
self-help industry rely on you believing
in the illusion to stay profitable
I realized that this video has probably
left some of you feeling a little
confused about what you should do and
what advice you should listen to
I obviously don't have all the answers
but I can say that the things have
genuinely helped me out in my life so
far are going to the gym and eating
healthier going to bed earlier and
waking up earlier writing my goals down
for the week the month or the year but
with an understanding that these things
may or may not change over time
meditating and reading books that are
actually practical and helped me out
with whatever situation I am facing
hands down two of the greatest books
I've ever read are the power of now by
Eckhart Tolle and unscripted by MJ
DeMarco with both of those books I never
felt like they were trying to get me
hooked to a product or that they were
just trying to give me a sense of
artificial motivation but with all that
being said let this video be a warning
for the traps that might lie in wait if
you do decide to get into the self-help
industry and if you do decide to make
that decision and go through that
journey just make sure not to fall into
the same traps that I did so thank you
for watching but stop do not click off
the video just yet I know you're sick
and tired of YouTube people giving you
the monologue of like the video comment
down below share it with your friends
subscribe and whilst I recommend you do
those things I do want to take the time
to say thank you dearly for watching
till the end of this video I put a huge
amount of effort into creating these
videos and I love doing it
so if you enjoy these sort of
documentary style videos on business
finance and life in general do feel free
to check out my other content I really
think you will it do you feel free to
check out some of my other content I
really think you'll enjoy it it is still
early days for this channel but I've got
a lot of exciting stuff planned so do
stay tuned for that and if you've got
any advice suggestions or anything in
between feel free to comment below I
tried to respond to it all and with all
that being said I really hope you have a
wonderful rest of the day altogether now
hands ahead salut
[Music]
you
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