17 Life Lessons (I Wish Someone Had Told Me)
Summary
TLDRIn this motivational speech, the speaker, having grown up without a father and as an only child, shares 17 life lessons he learned the hard way. He advises teenagers to extend their timelines for success, walk with purpose, and focus on practical skills over finding their passion. He emphasizes the importance of being a gentleman, enjoying the journey, investing early, and building high-income skills. The speaker also stresses the significance of physical fitness, confidence, and maintaining strong boundaries, while advocating for a relationship with a higher power and taking radical ownership of one's life.
Takeaways
- 🕒 Extend Your Timeline: Don't rush success; allow time for growth and learning.
- 🚶♂️ Walk with Purpose: Have a clear direction and vision for your future.
- 🛠 Focus on Practicality: Prioritize learning practical skills and starting businesses over finding your 'purpose'.
- 🤵 Become a Gentleman: Uphold traditional values and treat women with respect and honor.
- 🧘♂️ Enjoy the Journey: Appreciate the current phase of life as it shapes your character and future.
- 💰 Start Investing Early: Develop good financial habits by investing, no matter how small the amount.
- 🏋️♂️ Build Muscle and Physique: Use the teenage years to develop physical strength and a healthy lifestyle.
- 💡 Be Confident but Humble: Carry yourself with confidence while acknowledging the wisdom gained with age.
- 🗣 Get Comfortable Talking to Girls: Develop social skills early to avoid awkwardness and improve communication.
- 🤝 Keep Your Word: Build trust and respect by being reliable and true to your commitments.
- 🙅♂️ Learn to Say No: Develop the ability to decline opportunities or engagements that do not align with your goals.
- 👔 Dress Well: Cultivate a sense of style and presentability that reflects maturity and self-respect.
- 🚫 Keep Strong Boundaries: Maintain clear limits in relationships and work to foster mutual respect.
- 🙏 Build a Relationship with the Creator: Develop a spiritual connection to navigate life's highs and lows.
- 🛡️ Take Ownership of Your Life: Accept full responsibility for your actions and their outcomes.
Q & A
What is the main purpose of the speaker in sharing their life lessons?
-The speaker shares their life lessons to help others avoid the pain, struggle, and soul-searching they went through, by providing insights and advice they learned the hard way.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of extending one's timeline?
-The speaker emphasizes extending one's timeline to alleviate the pressure of immediate success, especially in the face of social media influences that showcase overnight millionaires, and to encourage a more sustainable and patient approach to achieving goals.
What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to finding one's purpose or passion early on?
-The speaker suggests focusing on practicality and learning practical skills or starting practical businesses or careers, rather than solely focusing on finding one's purpose or passion.
According to the speaker, why is it crucial for men to become gentlemen in today's world?
-The speaker believes that becoming gentlemen is crucial because it fosters respect and honor, which are essential qualities for building strong relationships and for being respected by others, especially in a society where he observes disrespectful behavior towards women.
What is the significance of enjoying the journey during one's teenage years according to the speaker?
-The speaker highlights the importance of enjoying the journey during teenage years as these are formative years that build character and are remembered with fondness later in life, despite the potential hardships and struggles.
Why does the speaker advocate for investing even small amounts as a teenager?
-The speaker advocates for investing small amounts as a teenager to instill good financial habits early on, rather than focusing on the potential returns, emphasizing the importance of financial hygiene.
What are 'high income skills' according to the speaker, and why are they important to learn?
-High income skills, such as content creation, sales, and copywriting, are important to learn because they are evergreen skills that remain valuable and highly paid regardless of the year or trend, providing long-term benefits.
Why does the speaker stress the importance of building muscle and physique during the teenage years for men?
-The speaker stresses the importance of building muscle during the teenage years due to the hormonal advantages and the mind-muscle connection that can be established, which can be maintained and carried through life.
What does the speaker mean by 'be confident but acknowledge your age and lack of wisdom'?
-The speaker encourages confidence in one's abilities despite young age, while also acknowledging that true wisdom comes with time and experience, advising not to let youth overshadow the recognition of areas for growth.
Why is it important to get comfortable talking to girls according to the speaker?
-The speaker believes it's important to get comfortable talking to girls to avoid becoming socially awkward or 'creepy' in later life, and to learn how to interact respectfully and confidently with the opposite sex.
What is the significance of keeping one's word according to the speaker?
-Keeping one's word is significant as it builds trust and respect, which are foundational to one's reputation, the most important asset a person can have according to the speaker.
Why should one learn to say no more than yes according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests learning to say no to avoid overcommitting or entering into unfavorable situations, as saying yes can lead to negative consequences more often than saying no.
What advice does the speaker give regarding dressing well?
-The speaker advises learning how to dress well by finding good quality, well-fitting clothes without big labels, and eventually getting items tailored to enhance personal style and presentation.
Why is it important to have strong boundaries according to the speaker?
-Having strong boundaries is important for mutual respect in relationships and for personal success, as it prevents others from overstepping and ensures one's needs and values are respected.
What role does the speaker believe a relationship with the Creator plays in one's life?
-The speaker believes a relationship with the Creator provides a sense of humility and a grounding force during life's highs and lows, offering stability and perspective throughout one's journey.
What does the speaker mean by 'take ownership of your life'?
-Taking ownership of one's life means accepting responsibility for both successes and failures, avoiding the trap of external blame, and understanding that one's life outcomes are a result of one's own actions and decisions.
Outlines
📚 Embracing Life's Journey and Learning Practicality
The speaker shares personal experiences growing up without a father and as an only child, setting the stage for imparting 17 life lessons he learned the hard way. He emphasizes the importance of extending one's timeline for success, cautioning against the pressure of immediate achievements often portrayed on social media. He advises against rushing to become a millionaire and instead suggests setting realistic goals over a longer period. The speaker also promotes walking with purpose and focusing on practical skills rather than solely on finding one's passion, which can change over time. He stresses the importance of becoming a gentleman in a world where he observes disrespectful behavior towards women, advocating for treating women with respect and understanding their boundaries.
💼 Building Character and Financial Habits in the Teenage Years
Continuing the life lessons, the speaker urges teenagers to enjoy their formative years, recognizing them as the foundation for their future character. He advises appreciating the struggles of these years, as they build the person one will become. The speaker also encourages starting to invest early, even with small amounts, to instill good financial habits. He discusses the importance of developing high-income skills such as content creation, sales, and copywriting, which remain valuable regardless of the changing times. Additionally, he highlights the significance of building physical strength and a good physique during the teenage years, as it sets a foundation for lifelong health and fitness.
🏋️♂️ Confidence, Communication, and the Power of 'No'
The speaker discusses the importance of confidence, especially for young entrepreneurs, while also acknowledging the value of recognizing one's own lack of wisdom due to age. He shares his own experiences of starting a business at a young age and the necessity of appearing confident to clients. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of getting comfortable talking to girls and the social skills that can be learned from such interactions. He stresses the importance of keeping one's word as a cornerstone of reputation and trust. Moreover, he advises learning to say 'no' more often than 'yes' to avoid unnecessary commitments and to focus on building a strong foundation in one's 20s, which he considers a critical period for future success.
👔 Developing Style, Boundaries, and Spiritual Connection
The speaker talks about the importance of learning to dress well, suggesting that teenagers should focus on finding clothes that fit well and suit their style without necessarily chasing big labels. He also discusses the value of keeping strong boundaries in personal and professional relationships, attributing his success in part to his ability to set and maintain these boundaries. Additionally, he encourages building a relationship with a higher power or the Creator, as it provides a source of stability and perspective through life's highs and lows. Finally, he stresses the importance of taking ownership of one's life, accepting responsibility for both successes and failures, and avoiding the trap of external blame.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Timeline
💡Practicality
💡Gentleman
💡Journey
💡Investing
💡High Income Skills
💡Physique
💡Confidence
💡Boundaries
💡Creator
💡Ownership
Highlights
The importance of extending one's timeline for success and not rushing into achievements.
The value of walking with purpose and having a clear direction in life.
The advice to focus on practicality over finding one's purpose, especially for teenagers.
Becoming a gentleman and treating women with respect as a core principle for young men.
The significance of enjoying the journey and appreciating the formative years of one's life.
The recommendation to start investing early, regardless of the amount, to build good financial habits.
The necessity of developing high-income skills that remain valuable over time.
The benefits of building physical strength and muscle during the teenage years.
Acknowledging one's age and lack of wisdom while maintaining confidence in business and life.
The importance of getting comfortable with talking to girls and learning social skills early on.
The principle of keeping one's word as a foundation for building trust and respect.
The advice for young men to focus on building themselves in their 20s for long-term success.
Learning to say no more often than yes to avoid unnecessary commitments and maintain focus.
The importance of dressing well and developing a personal style that fits one's character.
The necessity of setting and maintaining strong boundaries in all aspects of life.
Building a relationship with a higher power or Creator for guidance and stability in life.
The concept of taking radical ownership of one's life, successes, and failures.
Transcripts
so ladies and gentlemen I grew up
without a father I'm an only child and
the reason I'm telling you this is
because I am going to tell you 17 life
lessons I wish someone had told me as a
teenager so these are things that I had
to find out the difficult way and that's
why I'm sharing them with you today so
that way you do not need to go through
the years and years of pain struggle
soul searching that I went through and
you can just bypass all of that if you
listen and you take heed so I've got a
couple things written down and honestly
I'm just gonna spitball these 17 lessons
lesson number one is you need to extend
your timeline and I know that is very
difficult when you watch my videos it's
very difficult when you are on Tick Tock
and you see these 18 year old 21 year
old Millionaires and I understand that I
am even a part of that issue sitting
here at the age of 23 years old but tens
of millions of dollars it is so easy to
see the final product and think that you
need to rush when quite frankly you
don't I can tell you that I have missed
out on so many hang out with the friends
grab a beer with the friends watch the
football game my childhood and my
teenage years had none of that which is
why I want you to understand extend the
timeline you want to become a
millionaire great give yourself five
years give yourself 10 years you don't
need to rush now I will say if you can
get rich faster go for it if you can
learn a high income skill and we'll talk
about it a little later down the line if
you can start a side gig that then turns
into a small little business that then
turns into a very large business go for
it but just alleviate the pressure stop
thinking you need to become a
millionaire in a year two years and even
in my position I understand I did not
have a normal person's Journey it is not
normal to amass the sort of wealth that
I have amassed and by the way as I said
that came with a lot of drawbacks so I
don't just think it's all roses and
sunshine but even me in my position you
can see videos of me in 2015 2016 when I
was just starting out my business with
acne on my face reading books going to
the gym being an absolute loner and I
say this because please keep this in
mind anytime you watch my video or some
Tick Tock this stuff does not happen
overnight it has been nearly a decade
since I started reading a book a week
since I started meditating going to the
gym and setting the building blocks in
the foundation for the man that I would
go on to be so please keep your foot on
the gas keep pressing but extend your
timeline time is your biggest asset at
the moment the next life lesson is walk
with purpose I remember even from the
age of 15 or 16 I would walk down the
street you could tell I was on a mission
and I think that was really just a sign
of having a clear Direction a vision for
what I could become so when you walk
down the street I'm not saying that you
need to Sprint keep your shoulders back
look straight walk with a clear
Direction look like you know where
you're going now the next thing is to
focus on practicality and not purpose I
hear this whole thing of oh I'm not
starting because I just need to find my
purpose I need to find my passion stop
it focus on practicality when you are a
teenager you will not know your purpose
you will not know your mission and even
in your 20s even the phase I'm in it
will morph and it will change so instead
focus on practicality focus on learning
skills that are practical focus on
starting businesses or careers that are
practical focus on getting an
apprenticeship or even a low paying job
that isn't the destination of where you
want to get to but is practical and will
teach you the core foundation and the
core principles to then go on and
succeed in your 20s now the next life
lesson and this is so important and I
know I'm just speaking to men here and a
lot of times in my content I speak to
men but for reasons that I've previously
mentioned it is important for me to put
out content and nurture the next
generation of men so men listen to me
when I say focus on becoming a gentleman
in this world and especially in the west
I see some of the most disgusting
behavior for men it does not surprise me
that so many women treat you with
disrespect because you are not men even
worthy of respect do not listen to all
of these guys that have never lived in
the real world telling you oh you're a
simp if you pick up a girl if you drop a
girl home after a date if you pay for
the bill I don't know who raised some of
these kids because quite clearly they're
not actual men the way that I was raised
is as a man you pay for the bill and if
you cannot pay for the bill if you
cannot afford to and when I was younger
I was in that position well then guess
what get to work don't take girls out to
dinner put your head down and focus if
you're taking a girl to dinner you pick
her up you drop her home you do the
gentlemanly thing I cannot express how
important these things are to learn in
your teenage years other things
understanding a girl's alcohol tolerance
I see so many idiots that give girls
drink after drink after drink not seeing
that they are quite clearly intoxicated
as I said I don't know how some guys
were raised but the way that I was
raised if you are with a woman if she's
your date or she's one of your friends
in that situation you are responsible
for her so act accordingly if you want
to be a man of Honor if you want to be a
man that deserves respect then you must
learn how to treat a woman properly
never ever let her cross your boundaries
and just remember if you are a man that
is worthy of respect then obviously
never accept disrespect from a another
party by just think in this world we
live in so many men are afraid of you
know coming across and being a simp if
you pay for the bill or if you pick her
up on a way to a date that is absolutely
no way to conduct yourself as a man so
learn these principles as a teenager and
they will carry through for the rest of
your life especially if you stack them
up with all these other life lessons
then you are going to be a man of Honor
you are going to be a man that other
women respect and I can tell you that
that goes very far in life the next
thing is I want you to enjoy the journey
I want you to remember that these are
your glory years these years right now
as a teenager and especially in your
early teens even these are the years
you're going to look back at with
fondness because these are the years
that you built you built your character
the person that you are going to become
I can tell you right now that my most
fond years were probably the year before
I started my first ever business when I
was 16 and a couple years after that the
years where things were tough they were
not easy I was making sacrifices it was
difficult at the time but I had so much
appreciation for it now so please if
things are difficult or they're hard
right now take a moment to appreciate it
because these are the years you're going
to be talking about in a decade two
decades when you're sitting outside with
your boys your beachfront property
having a cigar or drinking a glass of
wine and reminiscing about the good
times now if you're in your teens I want
you to start investing now and I don't
care if it's ten dollars a week or 30 a
week or fifty dollars whatever you can
do even if it's five dollars a week it's
not about the money and it's not about
you know the eighth wonder of the world
compound interest because I'll be honest
at this stage it really doesn't matter
and hopefully in a few years you should
be making a very very good income that
far exceeds anything you could ever make
from investing all it comes down to is
simply good habits I do not believe that
if you won't invest ten dollars when you
make a hundred dollars a month that
you'll invest ten thousand dollars when
you make a hundred thousand dollars a
month and if those numbers sound crazy
to you I can't imagine ever making
hundred thousand dollars a month all
this just park that in your mind for now
okay you don't need to worry about that
but I'm telling you it's a very very
strong reality if you're consuming
content like this and you dedicate your
life to building over the next year
three years five years ten years I can
tell you numbers like that almost
guaranteed in your future but I know for
a lot of you that will overwhelm you so
just park that to the side for right now
if you make 100 a month just invest 10.
it's simply having good Financial
hygiene and building those good habits
early on the next life lesson if you're
a teenager is build High income skills a
high income skill could be content
creation it could be sales it could be
copywriting these are things that no
matter what I don't care if the year is
2023 I don't care if the year is 20 40.
these will always be important skills
and these will always be highly paid
skills so please do not get caught up in
short-term fads short-term Trends ask
yourself if I learned this skill today
will this pay dividends in five years 10
years 20 years and if the answer is yes
well then maybe you should consider
learning it now the next life lesson
this especially applies to men is focus
on building muscle and your physique
especially between the ages of 16 to 21
22 if you can get in the gym if you can
do exercise whether that's a standard
sort of bro split routine whether that's
powerlifting whether that's CrossFit
whatever you decide to do building
muscle at a young age you're going to
have that mind muscle connection and
you're going to keep that on and you're
going to carry that through for the rest
of your life you know I started going to
the gym when I was 14 some would argue
that that was even too young but I'm
very happy that I did and I'm very happy
that I built up muscle in my teenage
years because now I do a lot of tennis I
do a lot of running some boxing and I
never really worry about losing muscle
or my physique or anything like that
because I had more than half a decade of
nurturing that so especially for men as
our testosterone starts to decline in
our mid-20s onwards use these years to
your advantage lift heavy things push
yourself train hard because you have
this incredible advantage and will carry
through for the rest of your life the
next life lesson is be confident but
acknowledge your age and your lack of
wisdom I started my first business when
I was 16 years old and by the way this
was in a business where I was hiding
behind a computer I was front facing
with clients I was pitching
multi-million dollar businesses so I had
to walk in with confidence I had be
presentable I had to talk I had to
communicate clearly I had to be
confident regardless of my age and I had
to do that front facing publicly to
potential clients but at home when I was
alone in solace in peace I understood
and even me sat here at 23 hundreds of
thousands of people even millions of
people around the world looking at me as
a hero an inspiration and Mentor I
understand that at the end of the day I
still have so much to learn I understand
that of course I got started so early I
had my first employee at the age of 17.
I dropped out of school at the age of 17
to support me and my mom I've
experienced so much by this age but no
matter what wisdom is solidified through
decades and Decades of experience so if
you are in your teenage years be
confident walk through life with
confidence don't let your age especially
when it comes to business in your career
don't let that weigh you down but in
moments of peace and quiet acknowledge
that no matter how well you're doing
wisdom is only truly forged through
decades and Decades of life experience
the next life lesson and once again this
relates specifically to the men is get
comfortable talking to girls listen of
course I believe there's a teenager and
in your early to mid 20s those are your
years to build but it doesn't matter if
you're even 15. get used to speaking to
girls don't let yourself become one of
these 25 year olds that goes on to
become a multi-millionaire but is it
just creepy around women get comfortable
speaking to girls if you're in a cafe
and you think a girl is cute just talk
to her what's the worst that could
happen and even better just give her a
compliment and that's it don't ask for
her number don't ask for her Instagram
just give her a compliment and that is
the least that you can do you have to
get comfortable speaking with women
holding your ground keeping your chin up
and keeping confident don't let it
consume your life because I do not
believe that women should be your goal
in your teenage and early 20s because as
a man your best years really are from
the ages of around 26 28 all the way up
until your late 30s but nonetheless just
learn how to carry yourself around the
opposite sex the next lesson is keep
your word and start learning this lesson
from a young age if you say that you're
going to give someone a certain
percentage in your business well then
give them that percentage if you say
that you can show up to something well
then show up to it your word is your
reputation and your reputation is the
most important thing that you have so
learning from a young age to show up to
keep your word that will build trust and
that will build respect and that will
carry on for the rest of your life the
next life lesson and once again I know
this relates specifically more to the
men is in your 20s doesn't matter if
it's your early mid or late 20s these
are your years to build if you do things
correctly your 20s will set you up for
the rest of your life so I made this
video specifically for the teenagers but
it's really just to say that your 20s
mentally prepare yourself because this
truly will be your make or break period
in your life next life lesson is learn
to say no more than you say yes learn to
say no when people want to go out learn
to say no to business opportunities I
know you have that friend watch the
video it has a business idea and they
want to go 50 50 with you but your gut
is sting tells you there would be a bad
business partner or why do I need a
business partner in this I could just do
it myself so just learn to say no learn
to stand your ground I can tell you
right now that yes has ruined more
people's lives than no ever has people
saying yes to getting in relationships
they shouldn't be in people saying yes
to starting businesses that they
shouldn't people saying yes to going out
when they shouldn't as I said learning
to say no will be one of the most
invaluable skills that you can learn
from a young age the next lesson is
learn how to dress well learn how to
find good quality clothes I know that
I'm wearing a shirt with a graphic right
now but I'm in the comfort of my own
home I'm very relaxed but when you leave
the house you should be presentable no
big labels and by the way later down the
line once you've found your style and
what works for you you can Spruce things
up you can get a little bit more funky
with it but at first from a young age
learn how to find clothes that fit you
well not too tight and not too loose by
the way most people make the mistake of
finding clothes that are way too tight
for them and I can tell you something
that's actually quite funny over the
years I've noticed especially with my
jeans in my trousers the more money that
I've made the looser my trousers have
become so that's just I found that that
holds true for most of the
multi-millionaires that I know so learn
how to find clothes that have no
branding that fit you well that fit your
style learn how to layer clothes and
then also learn how to start getting
stuff tailored you can buy trousers that
are thirty dollars or forty dollars and
go take them to Taylor they'll get them
tailored for you for fifteen twenty
thirty dollars and I know that's an
additional cost but you will look far
better than the people spending hundreds
of dollars on all this designer this and
that etc etc so I believe in your teen
years it's very important for you to
learn how to dress well obviously your
style will morph and it will change as
the years go by but in your teen years
just learn the basics learn the classics
and just learn how to dress in a classy
elegant way and later down the line and
especially once you have more money you
can start sprinkling things up with you
know a graphic tee and you know maybe
some nice jewelry here and there
whatever you want but for now just stick
to the classics and the simple things
the next thing is you need to learn how
to keep strong boundaries and this is
probably one of the biggest reasons I've
been able to have the success that I've
had once again I don't know maybe it's
because I have a Russian mother Russian
people are just very uh they have no
issue saying no they have no issue
keeping strong boundaries so maybe I was
just raised a certain way but from a
young age I knew how to have strong
boundaries with my friendships with my
relationships and I believe learning
that from a young age has carried on for
the rest of my life where I can honestly
say that my friendships the people that
I work with the people at my companies
any of my romantic relationships we have
such mutual respect for each other we
have an understanding for each other's
boundaries and that was all built off
the back of from a young age learning to
say no as I mentioned earlier on and
learning how to have strong boundaries
with the people around me the next thing
that I want to talk about and I know
that for some of you I have atheists
watching so maybe you might roll your
eyes whatever you want to believe in go
for it build your relationship with the
Creator whatever the Creator means to
you whatever religion you follow
whatever it is maybe you're just
spiritual but build a relationship with
whatever the Creator means to you
because I can tell you you will have
some of the highest highs in your life
and you will have some of the lowest
lows if you live life properly because
the worst life you can have is just
Flatline so if you follow all of these
life lessons then you will have a life
of incredible highs and incredible lows
and as I said that is what makes a good
life and the only way to stay sane and
not go crazy in those periods is to be
humbled by the Creator as I said
whatever that means to you is to
understand that there is something
bigger than you and the only way that
you're going to get through this crazy
turbulent tumultuous life is by having a
strong relationship with the Creator I
remember I was six or seven when I
started praying to God and the reason
that I started praying to God was
because I had a very very difficult
upbringing and it's funny the only
people that I see that don't have a
relationship with the Creator whatever
that means to them is the people who
have had a life like this the people who
never went out there never took risks
never fought for the life that they
wanted for some reason they're always
the ones that seem to turn to atheism so
I can tell you from first-hand
experience life will get crazy and the
only way to stay sane when times are
good and when they're bad is to have a
relationship with God or the Creator or
whatever you want to refer to it as the
last and arguably the most important
life lesson for teenagers is take
ownership of your life something great
happens in your life great you can take
responsibility for it as well as the
Creator something bad happens in your
life great take responsibility for it
radical ownership of your life no
excuses it is only you and you to blame
and I know sometimes it will be
difficult I know sometimes there'll be a
clear thing or a person or something to
point to something else to blame outside
of yourself but don't fall for that trap
as I said take radical ownership of the
things that happen in your life so
ladies and gentlemen I genuinely believe
that if you're watching this and you're
in your teens or your early to mid-20s
if you follow these 17 life lessons
these 17 principles you will live a life
of abundance you will live a life of
honor where you could never even imagine
and as always I'll be watching from afar
and I'll be rooting for you
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