How to never feel embarrassed again
Summary
TLDRThis video script addresses the paralyzing effects of embarrassment and shame, urging viewers to embrace their authentic selves and let go of societal pressures. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights on overcoming these fears, advocating for self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. They emphasize the importance of not living a life dictated by others' opinions and highlight the transformative power of self-belief and self-trust in achieving personal growth and success.
Takeaways
- 🔓 Embarrassment can be a self-imposed prison that prevents personal growth and achievement.
- 👶 Shame and embarrassment are not innate; they are learned behaviors, often from family and societal expectations.
- 🛡 Recognizing that shame is not a natural state can help in breaking free from its hold on one's life.
- 🧘♀️ Embracing one's authentic self and letting go of limiting beliefs is crucial for personal development.
- 💡 Forgiveness of past mistakes is essential for personal growth and moving beyond the constraints of shame.
- 🔄 Understanding that people's opinions are subjective and not facts can help in reducing the impact of others' judgments.
- 🏠 Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can provide accessible and convenient mental health support.
- 💪 Self-acceptance and self-trust are vital for making decisions and living life according to one's own values.
- 🚫 Avoid living up to others' expectations at the expense of one's own happiness and fulfillment.
- 🌟 Everyone has unique qualities and strengths; embracing these can lead to a more empowered and fulfilling life.
- 💖 Believing in oneself and one's desires is the first step towards achieving a life free from unnecessary struggle and shame.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video script?
-The main theme of the video script is overcoming embarrassment and shame to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
What is the narrator's perspective on the origin of shame and embarrassment?
-The narrator believes that shame and embarrassment are not innate but are learned behaviors, often taught by parents and passed down through generations.
How does the narrator suggest we deal with past mistakes that cause shame?
-The narrator advises to forgive oneself for past mistakes, acknowledge personal growth, and not let past actions define who you are now.
What is the role of BetterHelp in the video script?
-BetterHelp is an online therapy platform sponsor mentioned in the script, which connects individuals with licensed therapists to help with various issues, including overcoming shame and embarrassment.
Why does the narrator emphasize the importance of not being embarrassed by one's own actions?
-The narrator emphasizes this because being embarrassed by one's own actions can prevent personal growth and fulfillment, and it can lead to living a life dictated by others' opinions.
What does the narrator mean by 'shame is like living in a prison of other people's minds'?
-The narrator means that when one is ashamed, they are confined by the expectations and judgments of others, losing their autonomy and ability to make independent choices.
How does the narrator relate the concept of shame to personal growth and success?
-The narrator suggests that shame can hinder personal growth and success by creating a barrier to taking risks, being authentic, and pursuing one's goals.
What advice does the narrator give for dealing with people who try to shame or embarrass you?
-The narrator advises to own your mistakes, understand that people's opinions are not facts, and not to lower oneself for people who are miserable or hypocritical.
How does the narrator view the relationship between self-acceptance and the ability to make decisions?
-The narrator believes that self-acceptance is crucial for trusting oneself and making independent decisions, without relying solely on the opinions of others.
What is the narrator's stance on the idea that people are meant to struggle in life?
-The narrator rejects the idea that people are meant to struggle, asserting that everyone deserves blessings and a good life, and that struggle is not a necessary part of existence.
How does the narrator define the impact of shame on one's ability to create and achieve?
-The narrator defines the impact of shame as a hindrance to creativity and achievement, suggesting that those who overcome shame can create more and achieve greater success.
What does the narrator suggest is the key to overcoming the fear of embarrassment?
-The narrator suggests that self-belief, understanding that one's own opinion is paramount, and not seeking perfection are key to overcoming the fear of embarrassment.
Outlines
🔓 Overcoming Embarrassment and Shame
The speaker discusses the paralyzing effects of embarrassment and shame, which are often ingrained from childhood through societal and familial pressures. They share their personal journey of breaking free from these constraints and encourage viewers to do the same. The video is sponsored by BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that connects users with licensed therapists to address personal issues. BetterHelp's flexible system allows for switching therapists without charge and offers the convenience of online sessions.
🌱 The Origins of Shame and Embarrassment
This paragraph delves into the realization that shame and embarrassment are not innate but are learned behaviors passed down through generations. The speaker emphasizes that children are born authentic and without shame, but societal and parental expectations can lead to the development of these negative feelings. They suggest that recognizing this can help individuals shed limiting beliefs and embrace their true selves without fear of judgment or embarrassment.
💔 Forgiving Past Mistakes and Moving Forward
The speaker addresses the issue of carrying shame from past mistakes and the importance of self-forgiveness. They highlight the need to acknowledge personal growth and change, rather than allowing past errors to dictate one's self-worth. The paragraph also touches on the psychological impact of constantly revisiting past traumas and the necessity of letting go to prevent self-sabotage and to embrace a brighter future.
🚫 The Futility of Seeking Approval
This paragraph examines the futility of living life according to others' opinions and the damage it can cause to one's self-esteem. The speaker points out the hypocrisy of people who judge others while engaging in the same behaviors in private. They encourage viewers to stop seeking validation and to trust their own decisions and desires, emphasizing that everyone has their own unique path and deserves to pursue their own version of happiness and success.
🏆 Embracing Authenticity for Success
The speaker argues that those who embrace their authenticity and are unafraid of embarrassment or shame tend to achieve more in life. They highlight the success of online personalities who, despite ridicule, continue to express themselves and reap financial rewards. The paragraph encourages viewers to pursue their passions without fear of judgment and to recognize that they are deserving of success and happiness.
💡 Believing in Yourself and Your Potential
In the final paragraph, the speaker stresses the importance of self-belief and the dangers of self-imposed limitations. They share their personal experience of starting a YouTube channel and the wisdom and growth that resulted from taking that risk. The speaker encourages viewers to show up for themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to not dim their light for others who may not support their journey. They conclude with an invitation for viewers to engage with their new products and share their feedback.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Embarrassment
💡Reputation
💡Authenticity
💡Indoctrination
💡Insecurity
💡Therapy
💡Self-sabotage
💡Forgiveness
💡Owning Mistakes
💡Shame
💡Self-acceptance
Highlights
Embracing authenticity and overcoming the fear of embarrassment is key to personal growth and achieving goals.
The concept of shame is often a learned behavior from family and societal expectations.
Recognizing that shame is not innate can help individuals break free from limiting beliefs.
Forgiving oneself for past mistakes is crucial for personal evolution and moving forward.
Owning one's actions and embracing change can prevent others from using past errors as a means of control.
The importance of not letting the fear of embarrassment dictate one's life choices and actions.
Shame can act as a prison, confining individuals to the expectations of others.
The realization that people who shame others often do so out of their own insecurities.
Understanding that everyone has unique qualities and no one is perfect, which is completely normal.
The hypocrisy of people who judge others while engaging in the same behaviors themselves.
The idea that people's opinions are not facts and should not dictate one's self-worth.
The importance of trusting oneself and making decisions based on personal beliefs rather than external opinions.
The belief that everyone deserves happiness and should not be held back by the notion of 'struggle' being a necessity.
Shame as a fearful emotion that hinders progress and the success of those who overcome it.
The encouragement to start taking action now, regardless of past or future, focusing on the present moment.
The message that one should never dim their light to fit in with those who prefer darkness.
The final encouragement to believe in oneself and to take risks in pursuit of personal goals.
Transcripts
is embarrassment holding you back in
life are you constantly ashamed of doing
anything and you're constantly afraid of
other people's opinion so you don't
really get anything done honey that is
the biggest prison you can live in you
see the way I grew up was ever since I
was young I was told to care about my
reputation care about my family's
reputation and it was so indoctrinated
into my minds and into the minds of my
siblings to always act a certain way and
never shame the family because otherwise
you would be offed at some point I
started getting tired of it and I
realized that I cannot achieve anything
in life if I am going to follow this
mindset so I completely changed my life
around when I stopped feeling
embarrassed for anything and in this
video I will show you how you can do the
same before we get into the video I
would like to mention that this video is
sponsored by better help better help is
an online therapy platform that can
easily connect you with a licensed
therapist that can help with any issue
you might be facing better help also has
a network of over 30,000 therapists so
you can easily find a therapist that is
the right match for you however if the
therapist that you found is not the
right match better help allows you to
switch therapist with no additional
charge this means that you save a lot of
time and a lot of money the most
beneficial thing is that it's online
because if you cannot find a therapist
in your area or you have like really
struggled just finding a therapist in
general you can literally look online
and you have so many options I love that
also if you don't want to leave your
house and stuff that's like so
comfortable out of your couch out of
your bedroom you can just chat with your
therapist so to get started you feel out
a questionnaire to help assess your
specific wants and needs and then you
get matched to therapist in as little as
a few days you can choose to have a
video message or phone based session
whatever you are most comfortable with
you that you might benefit from therapy
then please click the link in the
description down below or visit
betterhelp.com
wizard list clicking that link will not
only help support this channel but it
also gives you 10% off your first month
at better he hi guys my name is Li and
welcome back to my channel okay let's
get into it first things first realize
that shame and embarrassment is not your
natural state why do I say this and we
are born as babies we are not born with
shame we are not born with embarrassment
we don't know what that is a baby just
authentically themselves a child is as
well until the parent starts to
indoctrinate them with their own belief
system that they have been taught from
their own parents you know it goes on
for generations and generations so they
put these belief systems that are toxic
onto their own children so the starts to
think like oh my God if I do this that's
going to be embarrassing oh my God if I
do this then that's going to be
embarrassing okay this is how I have to
act in society because this is what is
accepted so the child basically starts
to believe that if I do it this way then
I'll be accepted but it it starts to
neglect its authentic self now when this
happens the child becomes very insecure
and what happens later on is you have an
insecure adult because any issue that an
adult has comes from their childhood you
want to fix the adult go back to their
childhood so what you need to realize
then is okay I wasn't born with shame I
was not born with embarrassment I was
born with authentically being myself my
parents put the these limiting beliefs
onto me and then you have to ask
yourself now what do I believe what do I
stand for and I'm not saying like things
that are bad or go do criminal
activities but I mean if you're doing
something that doesn't harm anyone and
makes you happy then who is anyone to
say that you shouldn't be doing that
another thing is forgive yourself for
your past mistakes a lot of people still
carry shame from the past you might have
done something in the past that either
you did like to yourself and it was very
bad or you did to someone else and you
hurt them and it was very bad now you
might have evolved from that you learned
your mistake and you never repeated
again and you were truly remorseful okay
you changed and it's okay to acknowledge
that you have changed it's okay to say
I'm not that person anymore I don't
align with the person that I was years
before you know if you're constantly
going to blame yourself for what
happened in the past and constantly feel
like oh I don't deserve a good life
because I did this in the past then
you're self- sabotaging yourself honey
sometimes we have to move on you cannot
keep looking there and expect a bright
future to come because you're stuck in
the past and the past doesn't exist
anymore there's nothing you can do right
now and change the mistake you made
there's nothing you can do and change
what happened to you the only thing you
can do right now is look in front of you
look in the present and see okay what do
I have now what can I create now with
what I have how do I move forward also
realize that at some point you have to
let your your brain move on because a
lot of you guys you guys are constantly
replaying past mistakes past traumas all
these things and what happens is your
body and brain constantly believes
you're in the same state so what happens
is you're constantly still depressed you
never feel different than you felt
before and you know why I realized this
I was doing the same thing so constantly
I was trying to heal all my traumas I've
healed the big traumas then I was
working on any trauma there's left but
what happened then is I was constantly
still depressed why
because my brain believes that I'm still
in a traumatic State because anytime
there is a trauma that comes up I'm
hyperfocused on it and I'm triggered by
it instead of letting it slide and be
like okay you can go now this is the
past and not fighting it I would
hyperfixate on it and because of that I
was constantly still depressed no matter
if I even if I was out of the situation
I was still depressed you had heartbreak
right at some point you need to let go
of that Madness from it why because the
brain when it constantly feels that
sadness it thinks the situation is all
happening over and over and over again
if you constantly feel embarrassed for
something the brain thinks that you're
doing something embarrassing over and
over again so that is what you will
constantly feel you will constantly have
fear inside of yourself and you're never
able to move on and also own your
mistakes own whatever you did say okay I
did it if someone brings it up to you
and oh you used to be like this oh you
did this remember remember remember say
yes I remember and I changed and I
evolved what now what do you guys want
me to do now you if you are the one that
is constantly shaming yourself for the
thing that you did yeah that's when it
becomes embarrassing but when you own
that when you own what happened and when
you own what you're ashamed about no one
can hold it over your head only you have
power over that no one can make you feel
embarrassed no one can make you feel
ashamed when you like what you do when
you feel that you're like you know what
I'm doing a good thing I I like what I'm
putting out whether it's artistically
whether you're creating something and
you're like you know what I love what I
put out that's good enough no one can
make you feel embarrassed only you can
do that to yourself you can allow people
to make you feel like that another thing
is realize that shame is like living in
a prison of other people's minds you are
their little puppet they can make you
feel anything they can make you feel sad
they can make you feel happy like why
would you do that have you looked at
other people see all the people that are
trying to shame you embarrass you put
you down why do they want to put you
down because they see something in you
that you cannot see in yourself but they
see it people that are down no one puts
them down cuz they're not a competition
but it's always the people that have
something there's always the people that
have this thing in them whether it's a
light or an energy that people want to
bring down because they see something in
you and once you start to see that thing
in yourself you will be incredibly
powerful they cannot stop you a person
that understands who they are and their
power is Unstoppable why would you want
to live in a prison like that imagine
you're 80 years old tomorrow and you
realize I've lived my whole life for
other people I live my whole life just
for other people's opinion do you want
to live like that you know how fast we
age you know how fast you'll be 80 years
old and regret your whole life tomorrow
all of these people will die in the end
and then what and then what you lived
for them but they they aren't even here
anymore also the same people that you
care so much about about their opinion
and you don't want to embarrass yourself
in front of them these people are super
weird I've never met a person never I've
never met someone that is not weird that
they have weird like things they they
have weird behaviors but this is very
normal this is very normal this makes as
a human being so who are you trying to
impress here no one is perfect so you're
trying to portray a perfect image to
imperfect humans and that makes sense to
you in the same way people are
hypocrites okay the same things that
they will judge you for and shame you
for is the same thing that they will do
behind closed doors these people are the
ones that will will be the first one to
judge others why because they in day out
these people judge themselves they hate
themselves they're miserable so they
want to pick up other people so they
feel the same way don't lower yourself
for miserable people these people are in
the dark leave them there also
understand people switch sides very
quickly okay it's all fun and games and
everyone laughs in the beginning they'll
laugh at you when I was starting out my
social media everyone was laughing at me
because it was embarrassing and haha I
was a joke okay I'm not a joke anymore
now it's like oh I used to know her oh
my God I people make up stories that
they used to know me switch sides so
quickly once they see that someone
becomes popular or once they see that
other people like them because people
are so insecure the only thing they do
is follow the crowd are you trying to
impress these people these people you're
trying to live like whatever for these
people you're embarrassed of doing
anything just for these people that will
tomorrow be by your side once you make
it today they're shaming you tomorrow
they will say oh I used to know her also
just stop trying to be liked in in
general stop if someone tells you you're
smart that doesn't mean you're smart if
someone tells you you're stupid that
doesn't mean you're stupid okay these
are all comments from people from their
own perception of you none of it is
facts okay someone can tell you you're
smart but for someone else you're the
most stupid person on Earth same way not
everyone will find you pretty not
everyone will find you funny or like a
fun person or someone to look up to they
will not and is that wrong no because
people come from different culture
cultures people come from different
backgrounds they have a different like
Beauty standard all these things you
cannot fit in everywhere and start to be
okay with that not everyone will like
you in life once you are just so okay
with being disliked no one can take that
from you if like for me for example if
someone tells me like oh I don't like
your content
okay oh I don't think you're beautiful
okay oh I don't think you're smart okay
that's what you think is that fact no no
but that's what you think and you're
entitled to your opinion but I don't
care about your opinion you see also
understand how listening to other
people's opinions and whatever they
think is true when you start to do that
on a regular basis you will stop
trusting yourself when you don't trust
yourself you become very very insecure
what happens is imagine you have to make
a decision right because you feel like
you don't you are not capable of making
decisions on your own you constantly
consult other people you ask them what
you should do so you're living according
to their opinion so when something
happens and you have to decide for
yourself you'll be like oh no I I can
decide for myself you're like a child
you're like I can because I don't know I
don't know what's best for me but you do
you do these people don't these people
will never be in your shoes these people
don't know what it's like to be you so
who are you listening to people that can
only give outside
opinion you should be able to listen to
what comes in and out and you should be
observing in it okay but then still make
your own decision and still say I am the
one that I trust I am the one that I go
to to make the final decision and no one
else I'm the kind of person I will
consult people when I'm making a
decision but at the end I will always do
what I want and everyone knows this and
sometimes I make mistakes but you know
what I made the decision to make that
mistake so at the end I'm still
confident in myself because whether it
went wrong or whether it went right Liz
made the decision and not other people
because their opinions are not more
important than mine their voice is not
more important than mine also understand
that you deserve whatever blessing you
have or whatever blessing you want okay
God didn't put you on Earth to struggle
I want you to stop believing this this
is the most the biggest lie I've seen
people tell each other that oh we're
meant to Struggle No struggle is not
cool not in relationship not in
friendship not in work it it's not meant
to be a struggle if you need to struggle
to keep something together like a
relationship friendship or a job then
it's not for you something that is for
you you will not need to be struggling
for it you will not need to be desperate
for it it will align with you and it
will come in the highest way when you
need to struggle it's a sign it's not
for you and you're holding on to
something that you need to let go of
when you put those limitations on
yourself or you shame yourself for
wanting a better life or something
bigger or whatever you will not achieve
that thing because at the end of the day
even though you want it you're still
telling yourself that what you want is a
bad thing but who told you it's a bad
thing who told you because people always
say like oh if you want more like more
luxuries in your life you're a vain
person no maybe some people genuinely
like luxuries maybe they like living the
big life why do you care some people
genuinely don't want that some people
want a simple life and that that's also
good right why do you judge the one but
not the other whatever you want whatever
good you want you deserve it just
because you're alive just because you're
on this Earth and you can create the
most beautiful life for yourself you
don't have to listen to people that say
like Oh no you're supposed to suffer no
no no you're supposed to suffer take
that all that suffering on this Earth
and put it onto you okay you have that
miserable life but when I'm 80 tomorrow
honey I have my best life I know this
for sure Liz lived her best life also
realize that shame is a fearful emotion
and it keeps you stuck see the people
that have no embarrassment and have have
no shame they get the furest in life you
you can see them online a lot of people
online are making so much money and a
lot of people are laughing at them but
they're also laughing from their
Mansions at you guys so who who has the
last laugh cuz at the end of the day
they're still creating their stuff
they're still putting it out there yeah
you find it funny but they have don't
have a lot of financial issues anymore
and they're the one getting financially
blessed because they're not afraid to be
themselves online when you constantly
have is like oh this is not good enough
oh this will be embarrassing oh this and
that yeah you will not create anything
you will not do anything in your life
and you'll live a whole life wasted
thinking about like oh my God people
would have find this embarrassing it's
embarrassing to be old and have a life
lived for other people and last but not
least I want you to realize that you are
good enough now you are good enough now
who you are with what you have and
that's what you have to do right now you
have to like be who you are take what
you have and create what you
can don't look at oh my God I used to oh
my God I am going to what do you have
now what can we do now with what you
have okay what what can we create what
are you good at what do you love to do
what do you want to improve I used to
have this me mentality of like oh if I
do this and if I'm at that State then I
will start and then I will do it and I
was constantly seeking a Perfection that
will never be there because like I said
people might look at you someone might
say oh this perfect another person might
say this is and both are not
wrong you know it's their opinion so you
can never reach that Perfection so for
example if I hadn't started three years
ago with my YouTube channel I would not
be where I'm at right now which is much
more wisdom about things I read much
more I also learned these things whilst
I was going you know but imagine I had
never uploaded my first video 3 years
ago I would not be in this position
imagine I was scared of people or I I
was scared because all my family this
and that no this was beneficial for
everyone at the end okay and I took that
risk because I believed in myself when
no one believed in me I believed in
myself and I refuse to give up on myself
and you should do the same
thing other people will never show up
for you like you have to show up for
yourself you
know one day it's going to be you like
when you're sick or whatever or or like
you don't look good anymore or whatever
like so a lot of people will leave your
life because they cannot benefit from
you anymore but who has to stay with you
you you you're the only one you will
always have in the end and that's the
one you're neglecting for people that
will leave your life tomorrow if you
can't benefit them never ever dim your
lights for people that enjoy being in
the darkness anyways guys thank you so
much for watching but before I go I want
to mention that I have created something
with my agency and team we have created
something very beautiful some products
that I love and I know you guys will
love to I have the website linked the
store downstairs in the description if
you can click on it and if you can write
down your email and also click on the
survey so that we can understand what
you guys want in the
future that will be very helpful and I'm
just so excited I cannot wait to share
what it is and yeah okay um I love you
guys so much and yeah thank you so much
for watching love you I hope this helped
bye
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