You're Regulating Your Nervous System WRONG (Here's Why It's Not Working)

Summary

In this video, the speaker explains why traditional nervous system regulation methods, like deep breathing and positive affirmations, often fail. The core issue is that when stressed, the brain's logical thinking center shuts down, and the survival brain takes over, which cannot process language. To truly calm the nervous system, the speaker emphasizes using experience over words. Nature, reducing technology overload, and engaging in creativity are key ways to signal safety to the body. The video underscores the importance of showing the body safety through these practices before using affirmations, leading to a more effective nervous system reset.

Takeaways

• 😀 Recognizing that using self-talk, affirmations, and positive thinking may not work when your body is in a state of stress, because your nervous system doesn't respond to language, but rather to sensations and experiences.
• 😀 Stress and anxiety disconnect you from your prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of your brain), and activate the survival part of your brain, which is not receptive to logical reasoning or words.
• 😀 Words and affirmations can only be effective when your nervous system is calm. If your body feels unsafe, no amount of positive thinking will change that.
• 😀 To regulate your nervous system, you need to show it safety through experiences, not just tell it. This can be done through nature, technology breaks, and creativity.
• 😀 Nature is an easy and effective tool for nervous system regulation. Being in nature provides sensory cues of safety, stillness, and grounding.
• 😀 Pets can serve as co-regulators for your nervous system. Interacting with calm animals like dogs or cats can help calm your body and mind.
• 😀 Overuse of technology, especially social media, adds micro-stresses to your nervous system. Constant stimulation can keep your brain on high alert, so taking breaks from screens signals safety to your body.
• 😀 Creativity is another way to regulate your nervous system. Engaging in creative activities like art or crafting provides a mental focus that helps shift your energy away from anxiety.
• 😀 When trying to calm down, approach these practices with an energy of support and self-care, not as tasks to 'fix' yourself. It’s important to connect with your body and sensations first.
• 😀 Once your nervous system feels calm, you can then use affirmations and other cognitive tools effectively, reinforcing a sense of safety and connection between body and mind.

Q & A

Why does using positive self-talk and affirmations often fail when trying to regulate the nervous system?

Positive self-talk and affirmations fail because, during stress or anxiety, the thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) goes offline, and the survival brain takes over. This survival brain doesn't respond to words; it responds to sensations and experiences. So, trying to use logic or affirmations when the body feels unsafe doesn't work, as the body doesn't process safety through language.

What is the key difference between how the brain processes stress versus calmness?

Stress is processed by the survival brain, which focuses on detecting threats, while calmness is processed by the thinking brain (prefrontal cortex). When the body is in a state of anxiety or stress, the survival brain dominates, blocking access to the higher-level thinking and reasoning needed to process safety or calm.

How can we actually teach the body to feel safe, according to the script?

To teach the body safety, you need to expose it to experiences and environments that signal peace and safety. This can be done through nature, reducing overstimulation from technology, and engaging in creativity. These activities help the nervous system understand what safety feels like, shifting the body from a state of anxiety to one of calm and safety.

What role does nature play in nervous system regulation?

Nature acts as a co-regulator for the nervous system. Being in natural surroundings provides sensory signals of peace, stillness, and grounding, which help to calm the body. Nature mirrors feelings of rootedness and safety, assisting the nervous system in regulating itself and moving out of a state of stress.

Why is the relationship with technology important for nervous system regulation?

Technology, particularly smartphones and social media, causes overstimulation and micro-stress to the nervous system. Constantly shifting focus from app to app, video to video, creates stress as the brain scans for threats. Reducing this constant information overload and stepping away from technology helps signal to the body that there is no threat, aiding in relaxation and regulation.

How does creativity help regulate the nervous system?

Creativity offers a way to shift focus away from anxiety and stress. It provides a sense of presence, play, and purpose, redirecting energy toward creation rather than consumption or overthinking. This helps the body and mind to experience calm, safety, and joy, which is vital for nervous system regulation.

What is meant by 'showing' the nervous system safety instead of 'telling' it?

'Showing' the nervous system safety means engaging in activities that provide experiences of safety and calm, like spending time in nature, reducing tech overload, or creating something. 'Telling' would be relying on verbal affirmations or logic. The body responds better to experiential practices that directly influence its state, rather than just verbal reassurances.

What is the importance of grounding and embodiment in nervous system regulation?

Grounding and embodiment are crucial because they reconnect the mind and body. When the body is grounded, it shifts the nervous system from a fight-or-flight state to one of calm. Being aware of and present in the body helps to counteract the stress response and rebuild a sense of safety, which allows the brain to engage in higher-level thinking and regulation.

What should the primary focus be when trying to regulate the nervous system?

The primary focus should be on creating experiences of safety for the body before relying on mental tools like affirmations. This involves using activities that signal calm and peace (e.g., nature, reducing tech use, creativity). Once the body feels safe, then verbal tools like self-talk and affirmations can be effective in reinforcing calm and peace.

How can someone incorporate the concept of 'regulate first, then use tools' into their daily life?

To incorporate 'regulate first, then use tools,' one should prioritize activities that bring calm and peace, such as taking a walk, spending time outdoors, or creating something, before attempting any mental techniques like affirmations or journaling. Only after feeling a baseline level of calm and safety should tools for mindset work, like positive self-talk, be used to reinforce the sense of well-being.