Exercises that caused a change in my aphantasia
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal journey of overcoming aphantasia, a condition where one cannot visualize images mentally. They describe their initial struggle with mental imagery and the subsequent development of their ability to imagine in color after engaging in intentional exercises. The script delves into concepts like 'mindscape', 'homunculus', and 'sense calibration', outlining methods to improve mental visualization. It concludes with reflections on the potential neurological underpinnings of these phenomena, suggesting that the barrier between sensory perception and imagined sensations may be overcome with practice.
Takeaways
- 😀 The speaker has a condition called Fantasia, which affects their ability to visualize images mentally.
- 🧠 Despite having Fantasia, the speaker's image recognition and memory are unaffected; they can recognize faces and remember things well.
- 🌌 The speaker describes their previous mental imagery as being like the darkness of night with only the barest sense of shapes, lacking clarity.
- 🔑 An intentional process led to a significant change in the speaker's ability to imagine in color, though the exact mechanics are unclear.
- 🖼️ The speaker's mental imagery now is compared to a full-color screen with glare, suggesting an improvement but still not perfect clarity.
- 🌄 The concept of 'mindscape' is introduced as a term to describe the mental space where one imagines, remembers, or creates scenarios.
- 🕺 The process of 'virtualizing' is discussed as a method to improve mental imagery by imagining sensations across all senses, not just sight.
- 🤸♂️ The importance of focusing on sensations during virtualizing, rather than trying to create a coherent story or goal, is emphasized.
- 🔄 'Sense calibration' is introduced as a technique where one tries to match their mental imagery with their actual sensory experience.
- 🔮 The speaker mentions the use of chakra focusing exercises as part of their process to improve mental imagery, despite initial skepticism.
- 💡 The speaker speculates that the barrier between sensory input and the brain's ability to create mental images may have been weakened, allowing for improved visualization.
Q & A
What is the condition called 'Fantasia' mentioned in the script?
-Fantasia, as described in the script, refers to a minor condition where a person is not good at imagining images. It doesn't affect image recognition or memory but inhibits the ability to visualize images or mentally map places.
How did the speaker's mental imagery change after 18 days?
-After 18 days, the speaker's mental imagery changed from being unable to visualize images to being able to imagine things in color, albeit with a sensation similar to looking at a full-color screen with bad glare.
What is the term 'mindscape' as used in the script?
-The term 'mindscape' is used to describe the mental space where all imagined scenarios, images, and memories are constructed and experienced, separate from the physical sensations of the body.
What is the difference between 'vessel' and 'homunculus' in the context of the script?
-In the script, 'vessel' refers to the physical body, while 'homunculus' refers to the virtual self that exists in the mindscape, responsible for experiencing the mental imagery and sensations.
What does the speaker mean by 'virtualizing'?
-'Virtualizing' is a term coined by the speaker to extend the concept of visualizing to include all senses, not just sight, in the process of imagining or experiencing mental imagery.
What is the concept of 'sense calibration' as discussed in the script?
-'Sense calibration' is the process of trying to match one's mental imagery with the actual sensory experience as closely as possible, to train the brain to better correlate sensory inputs with the imagined reality.
What role do the 'chakras' play in the speaker's exercises?
-The 'chakras' are used in the speaker's exercises as focal points for attention and energy flow, starting from the crown and moving downward or vice versa, to enhance the ability to visualize and sense the imagined reality.
How did the speaker's experience with binge-watching an anime affect their perception of language?
-After binge-watching an anime with Japanese audio, the speaker experienced a phenomenon where they perceived English speech as if it were Japanese, indicating a temporary shift in their auditory perception due to the intense exposure to the language.
What is the 'homunculus fallacy' mentioned in the script?
-The 'homunculus fallacy' is a concept where one imagines a tiny person inside their head that is watching their perceptions on a screen, which doesn't explain how that small person perceives what they're looking at.
What is the speaker's speculation on the connection between the sensory homunculus and the ability to imagine visual sensations?
-The speaker speculates that the barrier between the sensory homunculus and the rest of the brain might be the same one that previously prevented them from experiencing imagined visual sensations, and that they are now navigating this barrier more effectively.
Outlines
👤 Personal Struggle with Aphantasia
The speaker begins by discussing their lifelong experience with aphantasia, a condition where they were unable to visualize images mentally. Despite having intact image recognition and memory, they struggled with tasks like mental mapping and imagining physical objects. The speaker describes the limited mental imagery they could produce, comparing it to the darkness of night with barely adjusted eyes. They note a significant change 18 days prior, where they gained the ability to imagine in color, although with a 'glare' that affects clarity. The speaker intends to explain the process behind this change, introducing the concept of the 'mindscape' as a separate mental space for imagination distinct from the physical 'vessel' of the body.
🎭 Embracing the Homunculus for Improved Mental Imagery
The speaker introduces the term 'homunculus' to represent the virtual self within the mindscape and distinguishes it from the physical 'vessel'. They emphasize the importance of 'virtualizing', or extending visualization to include all senses, not just sight. The speaker shares personal techniques for improving mental imagery, such as imagining oneself in familiar environments like a dance studio, focusing on sensations rather than a coherent narrative. They caution against confusing the sensations of the homunculus with those of the physical body, highlighting the need to keep the mental and physical experiences separate to avoid pitfalls in the practice.
🔄 The Concept of Sense Calibration
The speaker delves into the abstract concept of 'sense calibration', which involves aligning one's mental imagery with actual sensory experiences. They describe an exercise where they attempted to imagine their current environment accurately, comparing it to the act of taking a photograph. The goal is to enhance the correlation between sensory input and the imagined reality within the mindscape. The speaker also touches on the idea of 'sensory overriding', where one reprograms their sensory perceptions, but clarifies that their focus is on calibration for accuracy rather than alteration of perception.
🌀 Exploring Chakras and Their Impact on Mental Imagery
The speaker discusses an exercise involving the chakra system, which they credit for significant improvements in their mental imagery. They describe the chakras as non-physical points of energy within the body, and explain their locations from the crown of the head to the base of the spine. The speaker emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between the physical 'vessel' and the virtual 'homunculus' when practicing with chakras, and shares their method of focusing on all chakras simultaneously, moving attention from the crown to the base and vice versa. This practice, combined with calibration exercises, led to a breakthrough in their ability to visualize.
🔑 The Breakthrough in Visualizing Sensations
The speaker recounts the moment they experienced a breakthrough in their ability to visualize, describing it as a 'crack in the barrier' between their sensory and imaginary perceptions. They relate this to a scene from a book that sparked a mental image with more detail than they had previously been able to achieve. The speaker speculates on the neurological basis for this newfound ability, suggesting that the brain may have been processing visual signals even when they couldn't consciously perceive them, drawing parallels to the experience of dreaming and the phenomenon of visual static after staring at rain.
🌐 Theoretical Insights on Perception and the Brain
The speaker offers a theoretical perspective on how the brain processes sensory information and how this relates to their experience with aphantasia and subsequent improvement in mental imagery. They discuss the idea of a 'sensory homunculus' and an 'imaginary homunculus', suggesting that these are distinct and not directly related. The speaker also shares an anecdote about experiencing 'visual static' in their vision after a long period of staring at rain, hypothesizing that the brain was attempting to correct for the visual noise. They further explore the concept of the brain's subconscious processing of sensory information, using the example of not consciously seeing one's nose despite it always being in the field of vision.
🎧 The Phenomenon of Auditory Perception and Language
The speaker recounts an experience where they perceived English speech as if it were Japanese after binge-watching an anime with Japanese audio and English subtitles. They discuss the phenomenon of language recognition and how it can be influenced by recent experiences, such as becoming familiar with the sounds of a language through extensive exposure. The speaker reflects on the complexity of auditory perception and how the brain processes and interprets language, even when the specific words cannot be discerned.
🚧 Navigating the Barriers of Perception
In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes with a reflection on the barriers between sensory perception and the brain's processing of that information. They suggest that their improved ability to visualize may be related to a weakening of these barriers, allowing for a more effective navigation between sensory input and the brain's interpretation. The speaker acknowledges the conceptual nature of their discussion and the uncertainty of their theories, but expresses hope that sharing their experiences and insights will be valuable to others curious about the complexities of perception.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Fantasia
💡Mindsight
💡Homunculus
💡Mindscape
💡Virtualizing
💡Calibration
💡Chakra
💡Vessel
💡Sensory Homunculus
💡Imaginary Homunculus
Highlights
The speaker discusses overcoming aphantasia, a condition where one cannot mentally visualize images, and shares their journey of developing mental imagery.
The concept of 'mindscape' is introduced as a mental space for imagining scenarios, separate from physical sensations.
The differentiation between 'vessel' (physical body) and 'homunculus' (virtual self in the mindscape) is emphasized for effective mental imagery practice.
The process of 'virtualizing' is explained as extending visualization to include all senses, not just sight.
The importance of focusing on sensations within the mindscape, rather than physical reality, is highlighted to avoid confusion between imagined and real sensations.
The speaker describes 'sense calibration' as the act of matching one's imagination to actual sensory experiences for improved mental imagery.
Chakra focusing exercises are discussed as a method to enhance mental imagery, with the speaker sharing personal experiences of its effectiveness.
The speaker shares a personal anecdote of visual static in their vision after a long exposure to rainy window views, suggesting the brain's attempt to correct for visual noise.
An experience of auditory hallucination is recounted, where the speaker perceived English speech as Japanese after an anime binge, indicating the brain's plasticity in processing language.
The concept of the 'homunculus fallacy' is mentioned, relating to the feeling of being a small observer inside one's head, and its relevance to perception.
The speaker speculates on the neurological basis of mental imagery, suggesting that the ability to visualize might be an untapped capacity within the brain.
The process of 'calibration' is further detailed, with the speaker explaining how it involves synchronizing imagined movements with physical movements.
The speaker discusses the potential for the brain to process visual signals even when one cannot consciously visualize, drawing parallels to dreaming experiences.
The importance of practice and exploration in developing mental imagery skills is stressed, with the speaker's ongoing journey as an example.
The speaker reflects on the potential of mental imagery for personal growth and understanding, beyond the scope of the presented exercises.
The video concludes with a call to curiosity and exploration, encouraging viewers to delve deeper into the concepts presented for their own benefit.
Transcripts
foreign
so
that I'm kind of just recording this
with no script with only very Bare Bones
notes
I'm just going to try to get across all
the information I feel is necessary to
get across so
for background
for my entire life I had a Fantasia
which is a very minor condition that
doesn't really affect much basically I
wasn't very good at imagining images my
image recognition was fine I wasn't
dyslexic I'm still not
um I could recognize people's faces fine
and tell who I was looking at
I could remember things fine it's just
that I could not picture images which
among other things I'm pretty sure
contributed to me having a very very
poor understanding of like you know a
very poor ability to map like mentally
map the place I live
um like I couldn't really tell where
streets were or where they LED
I was very bad at that kind of thing
um and imagining a figure in my head
like any sort of diagram or like
physical object that I might be trying
to imagine like sitting on a table that
was pretty much out of the question the
best I could ever get out of my like
imagined Vision was
it was like what you see when it's the
middle of the night all of the lights
are out and your eyes have adjusted to
the darkness but not completely
it was very tenuous very
bad it was very bad basically
so that was true
up until 18 days ago
uh whereas now I can imagine things in
color
how exactly that happened I'm not
entirely sure on the mechanics of it was
mostly due to intentional processes it
was not entirely unexpected however the
amount to which it's changed is rather
surprising
as for what my like mental imagery looks
like now if I'm concentrating it's
kind of like looking at a full color
screen but with really bad glare
like the sun is out it's shining
directly on the screen you're really not
getting that good an image but you can
still see you can still see what's on
the screen you can see
you're not blind you're not blind to
what you're looking at
so that's basically the change that's
happened here and I'm going to explain
or attempt to explain how exactly that
change occurred and all of the like
steps that went in between where I
started and where I am now
so
I'm probably going to be rather
long-winded here because some of it is
like background background knowledge
some of it is like very
kind of
fundamental theoretical and Abstract but
like not in a not in a I've become a
master of my field way more in a
I'm still a fool but I can teach you how
to become a slightly wiser fool that's
where I believe I am right now
so
foreign this is also going to involve me
kind of just using a lot of jargon most
of which is
half invented
so just be prepared for that I'm going
to do my best to explain all of the
concepts because if I'm not being clear
then I feel like there's really no point
in relaying any of this information in
the first place so
the most basic concept that I think is
important to go over here is what I call
the mindscape now that's basically just
a
frilly formalization of like some of the
most basic stuff imaginable when you're
imagining an image or you're picturing
like what would happen this what would
happen that or you're remembering
something or you're imagining a scene
from a movie or you're making something
up you'd say that all of that stuff is
happening in your head like all of the
scenery is being like
put together
in your mind
so we're going to say that
in your mind is a defined place
just for the sake of like separating
that from attempting to imagine real
Sensations so we're just going to call
that the mindscape it's really nothing
like
kind of just a term that I want to have
so that I can have a slightly separate
word to use for this narrow use of the
concept
so it's relevant because a lot of the
exercises that got me to where I am have
to do with specifically
in the mindscape rather than
like with your physical body which um
the term I will use for that is vessel
you're going to have to separate your
vessel from the
virtual self that exists in the
mindscape which for ease of terminology
I'll also get the name I'll call that
the homunculus part of the reason I
chose the word homunculus is just
because I think it's a funny word
um
so
basically
the first thing that you're going to
want to try to do
the like first most fundamental step is
try to get good at
visualizing but if you're like me and
you're starting from a point of having a
Fantasia that's kind of categorically a
problem
I'd say more broadly what you're going
to want to try to do is virtualizing
which is just a coinage that extends the
term visualizing to include any sense so
touch movement sound Etc if you can
imagine pretty much anything in any
sense that's what you're going to want
to use you can use multiple at the same
time you can pick a favorite whatever
works best for you
however I found it to be most effective
when I imagined my when I imagined that
I was moving around the space like I
would imagine that I'm
when I initially started doing this I
was much more actively in dance classes
and doing a dance program so that's
usually what I would imagine I would
imagine I'm in the studio you know the
room with a Marley and the mirrors on
the walls and stuff like that and I'm
just moving around shimmying doing
whatever
one of the important things about this
is
it's important to focus specifically on
the sensations of this and not to have
any sort of goal in mind like even if I
was reciting a dance that I had been
rehearsing I generally didn't try to
keep it completely coherent and like
time flowing linearly and make sure that
it felt real that's not entirely a
fruitful exercise maybe if you're
getting really good at this you might
want to do that just as an exercise for
its own sake however I've never
due to my inexperience I can't
personally confirm nor deny whether that
has any eventual
practical applications so what I'm going
to say is if you're like if your goal is
to
stand in the kitchen and make yourself a
ham sandwich don't be overly story
driven
in your attempt to do that like if you
drop the knife on the floor make another
knife because
this is literally all in your mind
you make the rules so it is not at all
important to have a consistent and
sensical story flow and of course if
you're not very good at the at the
imagery side of things try to focus more
on
not seeing where things are not but more
just having an idea of what the space is
like because you can very much do that
if even if you have no visual sense you
can have a sense of the space
especially if the space that you're
working in is made up and can freely
warp to your uh liking
so
that's the first thing basically
virtualizing and getting used to the
sensations of
moving around and associating yourself
with the homunculus and
a really important thing a reason that I
specifically made this much effort to
differentiate the imagined self from the
physical one the homunculus and the
vessel is because a pitfall that I fell
into at many time like many times when I
was early in my practice of this stuff
was I would try to imagine a sensation
and I would get overly invested in
imagining it as applying to my vessel
like if I was imagining that like I
don't know I'm touching my leg then like
I would imagine that my homunculus is
moving around I'm using my arm to touch
my leg but I would get overly focused
instead of imagining that that sensation
is happening to the leg of my homunculus
I would start trying to make it feel
like it was happening on my vessel I
hope what I'm saying now is making sense
it's just that you're going to want to
imagine these Sensations as distinctly
not physical happening inside the
mindscape and not in
meet space
I don't know how common that word is who
cares anyways
it's
it's reasonable to say even though this
is probably going to be somewhat obvious
that this is not easy when you're first
starting out it's it's hard to
concentrate in enough of a way that you
can
sort of get immersed
I've recently been trying to kind of
teach some of my friends how to do this
and one of them described it in a way
that was very accurate to the way I
remembered how it felt when it was when
I was starting out
you get these brief Sparks of time when
you're very invested when you're
actually like when you feel like you're
really getting into it
most of the time it's very dull it's
difficult to imagine
it's difficult to like imagine in any
sort of detail
but occasionally you'll get that moment
where you feel like immersed
so moving on from this I like to talk
about
something that kind of follows from that
that's a little bit more abstract
I call it sense calibration
um basically
I'm the easiest way to give context to
this is to explain how I thought of the
idea it's kind of a basic idea but
basically I was
I was sitting where I'm sitting right
now on this couch and I was thinking
about another place in this house
and I was thinking what if instead of
doing that I imagined what I'm seeing
right now like I tried to imagine the
room that I am in right now and I tried
to make my imagine my imagination match
my actual like sensory experience as
quickly as not quickly as closely as
possible
so I call that calibration and not just
synchronization because theoretically
there could be other sorts of
synchronization one person that I was
talking to
um one person that I was talking to in a
group chat that I'm in said that they're
currently trying to basically
I'm going to give a very short
explanation of what it actually is but
basically the effort that they are
undertaking is to
reprogram in a sort of way the sense the
sensations that they take in from the
outside so that certain things when
perceived
appear different so that would sort of
be
um
sensory
overriding or something like that
reprogramming something of that nature
um whereas what I'm trying to do is
calibration basically it's where you try
your best to imagine exactly what you
are perceiving
and I feel like potentially if we're to
treat the
if we're to treat the
like
sensory intake from like that's coming
into the sensory organs of Your Vessel
and the imagined reality inside the
mindscape we're going to say that like
perhaps you would have like you would be
getting whatever part of your
neurology is in charge of correlating
those things more familiar with how it
correlates like
I didn't initially do this with visual
signals because even at the time that I
came up with this at which point my
Fantasia had lightened slightly I could
see now
I I still wasn't very good at it
initially what I tried was with moving
my body I would move around my vessel
and my homunculus in the same ways as
best I could so I would move around my
arm and I would try to exactly or as
exactly as possible recreate all of
those motions with my homunculus it's a
little bit hard you're going to have to
take it slow and you're going to want to
try not to do too much at once walking
you'll realize how complicated of an
action walking is
when when you have to teach a child how
to do it or two you have to try to
imitate it one to one
With Your Vessel and your homunculus
because so much of it is just built up
automatically because you've been doing
it your whole life that you don't really
think about the entire process unless
you're trying to really dissect it as
this kind of exercise would require so
what I was initially doing is if I was
walking I was walking very slowly like
almost one muscle at a time
like a bad quap player
and
I would occasionally also move other
limbs I would try to imitate the
movement of my head around the space and
at one point I synchronized I I tried
speaking and I tried to synchronize the
speech coming out of my vessel with the
speech that I was producing with the
corresponding parts of my body of my
homunculus that also is extremely
complicated because
nation is a very multi-faceted
complicated process I mean that's why
phonemes have to be described with words
like alveolar approximate instead of
just r
it's incredibly complicated and
intensely physical if you're doing it
more muscle by muscle it'll be easier to
wrap your head around
so
you might be pointing it you might be
noticing kind of a flaw in my like
storytelling in this video which is that
I kind of jumped from still completely a
fantasiac to can see a little
which did not happen
like on its own
uh that's because in addition to doing
the calibration stuff I was also doing
um
basically a chakra focusing exercise now
I'm not going to like accuse the people
in my audience of being hardcore
Skeptics or being unwilling to listen to
what I have to say just because I used
the word chakra it's just that I feel
it's important to note even for people
who are relatively receptive to that
idea or who have like done meditative
exercises involving the chakra system
before
I didn't
pull this out of thin air and I didn't
let anyone else pull it out of thin air
and give it to me
I'm only continuing to use this
terminology because in my experience I
tried an exercise that explicitly uses
it and then I got almost immediate
results
of course this isn't this wasn't the
first time I'd experimented with the
system but it was the first time in a
very long time and it was the first time
I had done the specific exercise I was
trying to do
and the fact that it caused such an
instant change means I feel like in
order to be responsible with the way I
teach other people about what happened I
feel like I have to
bring this up
so I hope that Preamble wasn't excessive
um
now that we've got that context out of
the way I'm just going to actually get
into it so
the chakra system as it's usually
presented in like
any article you would read or any book
that's pretty much what I was using and
it pretty much was what worked so
Crown third eye throat heart solar
plexus sacrum and bass now I should say
those locations don't actually
correspond to the organs they are named
after obviously the third eye is not
even really named after an organ that
you possess In Your Vessel
um those just happen to be good labels
for where they are roughly
so the top of the head the middle of the
frontal bone right here where you would
usually see a third eye drawn in an
illustration
uh
somewhere around the larynx somewhere
around the heart or perhaps a little bit
lower than that maybe around the
diaphragm the solar plexus nerve ganglia
that's pretty accurate somewhere around
the lumbar vertebrae or the sacrum of
the pelvic girdle and somewhere around
the pubic symphysis so that's where the
locations approximately are
like with any physical organ of the
vessel there's going to be individual
variation so basically you just have to
figure out you just have to feel it out
basically is the initial thing
it's kind of like figuring out where all
of your ribs are you can do that if you
like palpate enough on your own skin so
you're going to want to figure out okay
so I know that these there's these seven
points where does it feel like they're
located on my body and can I tell them
apart
now this is part of the reason why I
went into so much detail about the
homunculus versus vessel distinction
it's because the chakras are a
distinctly non-physical thing or to
whatever extent that they are a physical
thing that can be said to be related to
The Vessel they're not
physically distinguished enough and
perceptible enough that you should
really try to imagine it as a sensation
on the vessel you should imagine it as a
thing that is being experienced by the
homunculus though usually when I do this
sort of exercise I'm doing a kind of
synchronized or calibrated movement I'm
not generally moving my vessel around
much nor my homunculus so you kind of
assume that they're both in the same
position that they're both
if you want to use such language
superimposed on top of each other
in such a way that you could kind of
Imagine they're both doing the same
stuff so you can imagine them in the
places they would be on your vessel but
I guess it's kind of fruitful to
remember that they're not
here
they're not here they're
wherever that is on your homunculus like
I said before
I can give a pretty good description of
how the experience of this feels and how
it should be self-guided however I don't
know
much at all about the fine mechanics of
it I don't really have a good theory
behind exactly how any of it works I
don't really think that's important
right now if there is going to be any
sort of theory and I mean I certainly
hope so this isn't
I feel like there is a lot of useful
study that could come out of this but if
there's going to be a theory it's going
to have to be established slowly
carefully granularly
Etc that's a bit of a tangent though
I was going to say I'm not entirely sure
how this works just it's important to
have that distinction in mind or more so
to have already been using it in
practice so that you don't have to be
actively thinking about it in order for
it to be there and work in your favor
so
basically what I tried to do was
focus on all of the chakras at the same
time
I started from
the crown I moved in a caudal Direction
I moved downward why am I using fancy
anatomical terminology I move downward
downward from the top of the head then I
also tried doing the same thing from
from the base and upward I found a very
strange effect to happen at least after
I had done a little bit of this which is
that
I didn't really have to put much effort
into consciously feeling all of them
once I had like grounded my focus enough
on whichever one I chose to be first
which I usually did it from the top down
so I'm going to use the crown as the for
this for the purpose of this explanation
the first one
once I had focused my attention enough
on the one I was using As the First
I would move on to the second and the
first would still kind of persist in
that imagine sensation
like it would it would still feel like I
was concentrating on it it would feel
like there was some connection between
the two of them
I would also persistently feel that
there was a connection between whichever
one I was currently concentrating on and
the bass
I find that there's a little bit of a
weird like a weird difference in these
two methods like if you're moving from
the top down then the actively feeling
ones and the
like range where there's that kind of
electric feeling between the focused one
and the bass they don't overlap whereas
if you're moving from the bottom up they
completely overlap
that is somewhat non-pertinent and
theoretical however
I think that was kind of important to
note that I did do it in both directions
and I think the fact that I had done it
in both directions with enough Focus was
what caused the change because I was
thinking about this I was focusing my
attention on those places on my body I
was in fact sitting on this couch I
spent a lot of my time sitting on this
particular couch
and suddenly I realized that like my
homunculus I was imagining that I was
looking down at my body
and I realized that I could see it in
much more detail than ever before
like I wasn't intentionally giving much
visual definition but whenever I
attempted to imagine myself moving I
could
and that was what was very strange
because I had never experienced that
before I had never experienced the
ability to imagine such things except
when I was
literally falling asleep
which I'm not entirely sure what is
implied by the fact that when you dream
you can see because like that's always
been my experience I have perfect vision
and dreams but like not when I'm
imagining something while fully awake
until now I'm not really sure of the
mechanics of that either but it's
certainly a phenomenon that I observed
but all of this long-windedness to say
is that those exercises going down and
up and up and down is eventually what
led to a little crack in the barrier
between me and being able to visually
imagine a sensation
so
those focusing exercises combined with
the
combined with the uh calibration
exercises which I still do both of those
since this is a very recent development
and it's not like I'm going to suddenly
stop
um I mean I've got to investigate more
I've got to explore more it was the
combination of those two that led to
progress
I'd like to kind of end off the video
with a little bit of Theory a little bit
of my speculation on how some of this
works based on things that I've
personally observed
so
I was reading this book where there's a
scene where someone is taking a picture
of a shoreline there are a few
characters standing there one of them is
in the background standing on some rocks
I'm not going to give a full context
because it's not important what's mainly
important is the experience that led to
this observation
foreign
read that part of the book I had a sort
of scene in my mind now of course this
was less in the sense of being able to
actually see any of it and more in the
sense of having a sort of
wireframe theoretical awareness of where
things in the scene were
like like a person who is actually blind
being able to remember the layout of
their own house because they've been
through it so many times they know
exactly where everything is
and I realize now that I think back on
that with the ability to actually
imagine
visual Sensations
is that I don't think the scene has been
newly constructed it feels as if it was
already there
and I'm only just now able to perceive
the visual components of it because
if I'm able to
let's think about this from like a
purely neurological perspective thinking
of all phenomena as originating inside
the brain
even if the conscious even if the
phenomenon of Consciousness doesn't
happen inside the brain which is
something I'm not entirely clear on
it's still pretty clear that a lot of
the processes behind what goes into
forming a thought and what goes into
creating perceptions from just the nerve
signals that are created by the eyes and
the uh cochlear nerves and such things
they happen in the in the neurons
a lot of it is very poorly understood
but it's it it goes on in there or at
least that's the perspective I'm going
to take when I'm thinking about this
since I'm able to
see when I dream there must be something
going on in there that is able to
simulate images and there was already
something like that back when I was
fully a fantasiak or at least to
whatever extent I was
I could occasionally get the Vegas of
Sensations that just
wasn't really good enough to count for
anything
and of course I've always been able to
see my vision is perfect I'm able to I'm
not colorblind I don't have any sort of
concrete visual impairment I can see
what's in front of me
I'm I'm I I lack any disability in the
with vessel
angle of literally seeing what I am what
is around me and what is in front of me
so it feels like despite the fact that I
wasn't able to experience something that
I was imagining it feels like it feels
like a logical conclusion a draw that
there was already some sort of part of
my brain that was processing those
visual signals even if it wasn't able to
sort of break through to the part of me
that I consider myself that I that
experiences them this kind of ties into
an earlier concept that I had discussed
with myself for which I also used the
term homunculus these aren't really
the sensory homunculus and the imaginary
homunculus or like distinctly different
concepts I don't really think they apply
to each other but basically I I
formulated this concept of
there's this you that you feel like is
inside your head that's not actually how
perception works but it feels like it is
it feels like you're a tiny virtual
person watching your own perceptions on
a screen that kind of explanation
actually has a name it's called the
homunculus fallacy which is where I
originally took the name from
because that doesn't actually explain
how that small person would perceive
what they're looking at but
aside from that as a model of like how
it feels to perceive I think it's
valuable so
I observed one day when I was on a long
car ride
um that it had been raining for hours
and hours and I had just been looking
out the windows I had a book but I
wasn't reading from it I was just kind
of looking at the windows board
and eventually when we reached our
destination it had stopped raining or
actually I think it was still raining
but we went inside we went inside a
it was a hotel room and
I noticed that in my vision there was
static now visual static is kind of just
a com a constant presence for some
people and I think it's kind of fair for
everyone because
even though you have good Fidelity
Vision you or you are ultimately just a
very complex neural network processing
visual noise that gets processing
signals that are incomprehensible to
anything except your brain
so like
but this was different it was very
noticeable it looked like there were it
looks like there was TV static rain
falling constantly
and I pretty quickly put together that
I of course don't have any experimental
or even theoretical confirmation of this
but I'm very certain that it's what's
what was happening I had spent so long
looking out the Rainy window that my
brain had started trying to correct for
the noise that was created by the rain
kind of like how you you can always see
your nose your eyes are always picking
up the light that is reflected by your
nose you're always able to look at it if
you are thinking about it but it usually
doesn't come up you're usually ignoring
it implicitly and that's not a conscious
Act of ignoring that is a
subconscious or I guess pre-conscious
neither of those terms have very strict
meanings
it's a pre-conscious
phenomenon that the nose disappears from
your vision and I would say that in the
same way some part of my brain that does
the visual the visual processing was
trying to remove
the visual noise it was trying to offset
the signal created by the rain so it
created its own static That was supposed
to be opposing the rain it didn't of
course work because it's not a perfectly
engineered machine it can't predict
exactly what's going to come into its
eyes and yada yada but still it was an
interesting thing to see
fast forward to something else
one of my friends recommended that I
watch
um
I can't actually remember what anime it
was but they recommended that I watch an
anime and like a fool like a like a
foolhardy person uh which is often what
I am I watched
15 hours with almost no breaks
uh and I was watching the
uh I was watching it with subtitles I
was watching the original audio in
Japanese
and then I finished off a few more
episodes once I woke up the next morning
and I found that whenever I was
listening to someone talk and I couldn't
discern what they were saying it sounded
like Japanese
like I should probably be more clear
about what what that actually means
first of all probably part of the reason
I was able to experience this phenomenon
in the first place is because I'm like
an amateur linguist I'm familiar with
the phonotactics and phonology of
certain languages and Japanese is such a
culturally ubiquitous Language online
that I'm kind of familiar with it
whether I want to be or not and I mean
it's an interesting language it's not
like I try to avoid it but still I know
how it sounds I know how it sounds work
um
so
of course everyone experiences those
moments where you're hearing someone
speak and you can tell that it is speech
and you can tell that it is in the
language you recognize that's probably
mostly going to be qualifiable for
monolingual people like myself I only
speak English
um but presumably multilingual people
could also do a similar thing you could
recognize which one of your known
languages some thing your hearing is in
and if you have a good enough
understanding if you have a good enough
recognition of languages you don't speak
based on how they sound like if you
don't speak French but you can still
tell that something is French by hearing
it because it sounds like French
difficult to describe again but you know
people who know what I mean know what I
mean
you can tell that it you can tell that
it is what it is but you can't discern
the words so I might one day walk up to
like I might walk by the bedroom door uh
the the door to my brother's bedroom and
hear him talking with someone on the
phone and I'll generally be able to tell
oh he's talking with someone on the
phone and furthermore I'll be able to
tell oh he's talking in English now I
generally don't actually have to ask
that question because my brother is also
monolingual he only speaks English but
after that uh binge session
followed by a few more episodes of
basically torturing the uh recognition
parts of my brain into
I'm not entirely sure how it worked like
with a lot of things I've discussed here
I'm not entirely sure how the precise
process went but I walked by the door I
couldn't discern what he and the person
he was on the phone with were saying
and I knew that neither of them spoke
Japanese
certainly not with enough confidence
either to have a conversation in it that
appeared to be going rather fast paced I
opened the door
and it was in English because obviously
it was in English and I said to I said
to him
were you just speaking Japanese
and he said no
because of course he hadn't just been
speaking a language that he doesn't know
how to speak
but that's what it had sounded like I
wasn't able to point out Japanese words
which like I only know a few basic nouns
grammatical particles and pronouns but
still I had been able to pick out
anything but I also hadn't been able to
pick out any English words either I
noticed the same effect just a few
minutes later when I came back to my
computer and continued watching whatever
YouTube video I was watching
um
it was not recorded with a professional
microphone and it was of people having a
conversation so
there were a few seconds when I started
it where I had to kind of get back into
the flow of what they were saying
and after a few seconds it registered as
English spoken with uh Northern cities
Vowel Shift Regional accent like
basically the same way I talk but for
the first few seconds when I hadn't been
able to instantly put together the
things that that they were saying the
words
it had sounded like Japanese like
kind of hard to it's kind of hard to
describe even in like linguistic jargon
what exactly the difference felt like
but if I heard like for example English
has a has lots of consonant clusters
lots of consonants that come one after
the other without a vowel in between
when I would hear one of those I
wouldn't process it as an English
language consonant cluster I would
pronounce I would process it it would
come to my
self my homunculus my Consciousness as
already having been packaged as
syllables that are being reduced in the
way that they would be when spoken by a
Japanese speaker
like I said even the linguistic jargon
that I'm using kind of unclear
and this kind of this part of the video
is just an appendix anyway this is kind
of past the point of the actual stuff
that I was trying to make this video for
in the first place but I still find it
to be interesting and relevant
um so I feel like
basically
the barrier that exists between the
sensory homunculus and the rest of the
brain and the nervous system that's sort
of the same barrier that prevented me
from being able to experience imagined
visual Sensations and I feel like now
I'm navigating that barrier more more
effectively or it's no longer as strong
all of this is very conceptual and like
I said like I've said probably too many
times in this video that it's gotten
annoying not entirely sure about any of
it but I was requested to make I wasn't
actually requested to make this video
but I was requested to
take down some of this information put
it together so this is how I chose to do
it so I hope that the people who are
particularly curious about this find it
as useful as I have certainly found all
of the information
I believe that is all that I have to say
um
thank you for watching this um
grievously unedited and completely
unrehearsed video
I hope that the knowledge does you good
yeah that's about all
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