Changing The Way We Talk About Disability | Amy Oulton | TEDxBrighton
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares her personal journey with disability, addressing the misconceptions and stereotypes often imposed on disabled individuals. She discusses the challenges of navigating a world not designed for accessibility, the complexities of public perception, and the importance of open conversations about disability. Her experiences, from overcoming physical barriers to traveling in Southeast Asia, emphasize the need for societal change towards inclusivity and the recognition of disabled people's right to participate fully in life.
Takeaways
- 🎭 The speaker shares personal experiences of feeling judged and hyper-visible due to her size and disability, highlighting the complexities of public perception.
- 🗣️ People often make unsolicited comments on her body and disability, framing them as compliments, which puts her in a difficult position to respond without seeming ungrateful.
- 🚶♀️ The speaker recounts instances where she was congratulated for participating in everyday activities, implying that her presence was surprising or commendable due to her disability.
- 👗 Despite societal stereotypes, the speaker has a rich social life, hobbies, and a unique sense of style, which challenges the preconceived notions about disabled individuals.
- 🏆 She emphasizes the importance of recognizing individual achievements without reducing them to overcoming disabilities, as her accomplishments are part of her life, not just a battle against her condition.
- 🌏 The speaker's story of backpacking in Southeast Asia demonstrates that with creativity and determination, one can still pursue dreams and passions despite physical limitations.
- 💡 Media portrayals of disabled people are often limited to extremes, either as superheroes or as pitiable figures, which fails to capture the nuanced reality of living with a disability.
- 🔍 The speaker calls for a more inclusive and realistic representation of disabled individuals in society, advocating for a spectrum of experiences rather than binary categorizations.
- 🤝 She encourages open conversations about disability and accessibility, suggesting that asking questions and acknowledging potential barriers can lead to more inclusive environments.
- 🚧 The speaker discusses the practical barriers she faces, such as stairs and lack of ramps, and the need for advanced information to ensure accessibility.
- 🌐 She envisions a utopian world where disability is mainstream and does not inhibit freedom, advocating for a collective approach to making accessibility a priority.
Q & A
What was the speaker's weight at the age of 21?
-The speaker weighed 21 stone at the age of 21.
How did the speaker feel when they were larger?
-The speaker felt that the whole world was looking at them and thinking negative things. They were self-conscious about eating in public due to fear of being judged.
What changed in people's behavior towards the speaker when they started using a wheelchair?
-People started treating the speaker's body and disability as a subject open for public discourse, often making unsolicited comments.
How do the comments from others make the speaker feel?
-The comments often make the speaker feel both hyper-visible and invisible as a person, reducing them to a selection of stereotypes based on presumptions about their life.
What was the speaker's experience at a club?
-The speaker was told it was amazing to see them in the club, implying that people like them don't often go out having fun, which was not a compliment but a reflection of societal assumptions.
What was the speaker's achievement after completing their education?
-The speaker fought through years of severe dislocations, extensive surgery, and poor mental health to complete their A-Levels and degree.
What was the speaker's most impressive achievement according to most people?
-Most people think the speaker's most impressive achievement was going backpacking across Southeast Asia for three months.
Why did the speaker feel that their achievements are not an indication of overcoming their disability?
-The speaker believes that their achievements are part of learning to live alongside their disability and mental health, rather than overcoming them.
How does the speaker describe the media's portrayal of disabled people?
-The media often portrays disabled people as either superheroes who have overcome their disability or as pitiable figures, which can be harmful and misleading.
What does the speaker suggest for a more inclusive society?
-The speaker suggests imagining disabled people in the middle of the action and having conversations to remove barriers, making access a collective responsibility.
What is the speaker's view on discussing disability?
-The speaker believes it's okay to ask questions and acknowledge potential barriers, as these conversations are necessary to open up the world to those currently excluded.
Outlines
🤔 Perceptions of Disability and Public Judgement
The speaker reflects on the misconceptions and judgments they face due to their weight and disability. They recount feeling scrutinized in public, with others assuming negative thoughts about their eating habits and lifestyle. The speaker also discusses the shift in public interaction after using a wheelchair, where unsolicited comments disguised as compliments put them in an awkward position. They share experiences of being seen as an anomaly in social settings, with people expressing surprise at seeing them enjoying life, which highlights the stereotypes and assumptions made about disabled individuals.
🌟 Overcoming Barriers and Challenging Stereotypes
This paragraph delves into the speaker's journey to overcome personal fears and societal barriers associated with their disability. They recount their first solo outing in a wheelchair and the sense of achievement it brought, despite the anxiety and challenges. The speaker also shares their incredible experience of backpacking in Southeast Asia, emphasizing the importance of creativity and determination in achieving one's goals. They refute the media's portrayal of disabled individuals as either superheroes or pitiable figures, asserting that disability is not binary and exists on a spectrum of experiences.
🔍 Navigating Identity and the Complexity of Disability
The speaker discusses the multifaceted nature of their identity, where disability is just one aspect among many, such as being a white, left-wing feminist who is gay. They address the discomfort some people feel when discussing disability, noting that while it's important to be sensitive, it's also necessary to have open conversations to accommodate the needs of disabled individuals. The speaker calls for a utopian society where disability is mainstream and not a source of surprise or discomfort, advocating for proactive measures to ensure accessibility and inclusion.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Disability
💡Stereotypes
💡Invisibility
💡Accessibility
💡Wheelchair
💡Public Discourse
💡Judgment
💡Participation
💡Barriers
💡Media Representation
💡Utopia
Highlights
The speaker discusses the feeling of being hyper-visible and judged by others due to their weight and subsequent use of a wheelchair.
People treat the speaker's disability as a subject open for public discourse, causing discomfort.
The speaker recounts an experience of being praised for being at a club, highlighting society's surprise at seeing disabled individuals enjoying social activities.
The speaker shares the awkwardness of receiving backhanded compliments about their appearance and lifestyle due to their wheelchair use.
The speaker emphasizes the individuality of their life and disability, rejecting stereotypes and the idea of being reduced to their wheelchair.
The challenges of mobility and independence are highlighted through the speaker's recount of their first solo outing in a wheelchair.
The speaker describes their personal growth and increased confidence in managing their disability.
The impressive achievement of going backpacking across Southeast Asia despite physical limitations is shared.
The speaker reflects on the necessity of relying on others for help and the discomfort it initially caused.
Creative problem-solving is celebrated as a means to achieve personal goals, even with a disability.
The speaker disputes societal perceptions that disabled individuals have 'overcome' their disability or are to be pitied.
The media's portrayal of disabled people as either superheroes or pitiable figures is critiqued.
The speaker calls for a more nuanced understanding of disability, recognizing the spectrum of experiences.
The discomfort some people feel when discussing disability is addressed, with a call for open and respectful conversation.
The speaker advocates for a world where disability is mainstream and does not surprise or discomfort people.
The importance of asking questions and acknowledging potential barriers to participation is emphasized.
The speaker shares an example of how to have a helpful conversation about accessibility on public transport.
The speaker concludes with a call to action for society to take collective responsibility for making access a priority.
Transcripts
[Music]
thank you
by the time i was 21 i weighed 21 stone
his photograph of me cooking something
that looks like it was going to be very
healthy
when i was larger i felt that the whole
world was looking at me and thinking
negative things i would never eat food
out alone in public because i decided
that whatever i was eating
someone was probably judging me if i was
eating a salad
they were thinking yeah that's not what
she eats every day is it
and if i was eating a chocolate bar they
were thinking
of course she's fat eat a salad
for the most part people didn't
comment on my weight publicly but when i
started using a wheelchair a weird thing
happened
people started treating my body and my
disability like it was a
subject open for public discourse
the problem with these comments is
they're very often
dressed up as compliments forcing me
into a position where
i have to decide how to engage with this
person who's obviously not
meaning to be offensive to me
people regularly come up to me on nights
out and say
it is amazing to see you in this club
which was only legitimate at the time i
swooped to the front of the long cure
revenge
two minutes before the cheap entry
deadline and got
14 of my friends let in to carry me up
the several flights of stairs
although on that occasion i wasn't
actually congratulated for being in a
seemingly very inaccessible
club i was told that you don't see
people
like me out having fun very often
i was a bit worried that you guys might
think that i don't know how to have fun
so there i am goofing around at a
wedding just in case anyone needed proof
of that
it's a regular thought one of not seeing
me out
or being impressed by my presence
there was one man who on three separate
occasions
in on the bus route back to my house in
new cross
insisted on congratulating me for
getting out
and not letting it hold me back
i can only assume that the it he was
talking about on the third
occasion was the very intense hangover
that caused me to get off the bus when i
could see my front door
and throw up into a bin
another favorite was a lady who came up
to me in the supermarket
and she bent right over me and she said
you're very stylish
which was nice until she topped it off
with
for someone in a wheelchair which did
undermine the compliment a little bit
it seems to come as a surprise to these
people that i have
hobbies and a social life and
i love of dressing myself in shirts my
friends said look like the inside of a
90s caravan
the problem with these kind of comments
is they cause me to feel both hyper
visible
and also completely invisible as a
person
when people project their ideas of what
they
think disability is on to me they
reduced me to a selection of stereotypes
based on the things that they've
presumed about my life
but my life and my disability is
individual to me and there are so many
things that you wouldn't know about me
just from looking at my wheelchair
people don't know that i fought through
years
of severe dislocations and
extensive surgery and very poor mental
health to
complete my a levels and my degree
and the after uni i had to move home
be careful by my mum and over three
years i wouldn't go out alone
the first time i went out by myself in a
wheelchair i was still at university in
bristol
and i'd figured out that if i parked
between the two entrances of cabot
circus
that i could take the slope down on one
side to the shops that i wanted to go to
get the lift back up to the next floor
and follow the slope down on the other
side to get back to my car
whilst doing the absolute bare minimum
of wheeling
i was so proud of that achievement but
it had taken
weeks of talking myself into and
powering through the fear that if
something didn't
quite go to plan then i was just going
to be stuck in the middle of the
shopping center
or have to ask a stranger for help
exposing my vulnerabilities
now when i look back on that time i can
see
just how far i've come in my journey to
manage my disability
and live the life i want to
which leads me on to what most people
think is my most impressive achievement
going backpacking across southeast asia
for three months it meant that like when
i first became disabled i had to accept
that i was going to need to rely
on help on someone else for help for
everything
which felt like an uncomfortable step
backwards at times
but i got to experience things i never
in a million years thought i would get
to
here i'm scuba diving whilst everyone
else was gracefully easing through the
water
i was awkwardly doggy paddling around
with my floppy paralyzed foot just
trailing behind me and
here i wheeled into a river to
wash an elephant with a tiny bucket
discovering that with my weak arms and
my low height in the wheelchair
that i really just gave the elephant
very clean knees
i also rode on the back of motorbikes
and here i'd rented one with a sidecar
for stability
unfortunately i discovered that keeping
my legs away from hot exhaust pipes is
not a skill
i possess and came home with two new
scars to add to my extensive collection
that trip is probably one of the best
things that i can tell people about
disability that you can still achieve
the things you want to
you just have to get creative about how
you do it
so when people tell me it's amazing to
see me out
they could well be right because on many
days
the fears i had the first time i went
out alone in a wheelchair
are still there and i may have battled
pain and anxiety and fatigue to get
there
taken inaccessible or long-winded forms
of transport
or had to gain access by being carried
like an emperor
but if they think it's impressive
because my life is
otherwise meaningless and unfulfilled
they're completely wrong
none of these achievements are an
indication that i've overcome my
disability
my disability and my mental health is
not something i'm trying to overcome
it's something that i'm learning to live
alongside
but our media is always really keen to
categorize disabled people
this as a best-case scenario
we're painted as superheroes who have
overcome our disability
this headline from a real newspaper says
superhuman and then some five athletes
who symbolize
triumph of will over adversity
or we're painted as sad people to be
pitied
just two faulty genes derailed my life
a mother on the great losses and lessons
of her daughter's disability
or possibly most harmfully
the benefits grounded rhetoric
workshy map of britain revealed
thousands of incapacity benefit
claimants found to be capable of working
i'm none of these things and i'm a bit
of all of those things
disability isn't binary and most people
fall somewhere into the spectrum of gray
on a bad day i struggle to look after
myself properly
and on a good day i bum shuffled up a
waterfall for two hours in lao
so what's my headline if you had to give
me one
is it amazing wheelchair woman
wheelchair user overcomes barriers to go
travelling or is it
sad disabled woman tries to escape her
miserable life by going to southeast
asia for three months
or woman claims to use wheelchair but is
seen halfway up a waterfall
[Laughter]
there are things that you can easily see
about me
like i'm white female at about 30.
and there are things that you can
probably quite quickly figure out when
you talk to me
like i'm left-wing feminist and gay
and then there are things that you
wouldn't know about me
unless we were having a conversation and
i told you like
i hate coriander
i put cold water in the top of my tea
and i collect antique dog photographs
my disability is part of my identity in
the same way that all those other things
are
but this is where people start to feel
uncomfortable because they think that
asking about my disability or
maybe even acknowledging it is rude and
that it does the thing that i'm trying
to avoid
reduces me to my disability
in many cases that is true someone
recently came up to me in a shop
and asked me what my condition was she
hadn't even said hello
and then who my specialists were
and what medication i was taking
which is a list i struggle to keep track
of myself to be honest
but we live in a world that is not
particularly well
geared up for meeting the needs of
disabled people and that means that
there will be times when that needs to
be discussed
these are two of the most common
examples of barriers that i face
things that will tip me out on my face
and stairs
so in the meantime if there are stairs
into a property
i'm either going to need a ramp or i'm
going to need help getting up those
stairs
and crucially i also need advanced
information about that because it's not
possible for me to just
assume i can independently go anywhere i
want to go
if we're talking about utopia that would
be my end goal
one where man-made barriers don't
inhibit my freedom
a utopic world for me would also be one
where the presence of disability
is so mainstream that people are no
longer
surprised by or uncomfortable about it
what i want you to do is start by
imagining disabled people in the middle
of the action
and then asking the questions to make
that happen
it's okay to ask me questions and
acknowledge that there might be barriers
that
prevent me from participating fully but
it's
only by having those conversations that
we open up the world
to a group of people who are currently
excluded from it
to give an example of the right way to
have those conversations
on london buses there's often
competition for the wheelchair space
with buggy users
and i get all kinds of reactions to my
presence
quite often i'm just completely ignored
despite the fact a giant siren goes off
when the wheelchair ramp comes down
i also have had people make a massive
scene of getting off the bus
unnecessarily
or refused to fold their buggy and share
the space with me
people also regularly do try to be
helpful but end up
moving into the space that i needed to
turn my wheelchair in
what i want people to do in that
situation is just come to where we can
have a conversation
and say is there any way that i can help
you here
that paves the way for me to explain
what help i might need
without feeling like a massive
inconvenience or a
public spectacle
when my disability makes me feel like an
inconvenience
it makes me angry but it also just makes
me want to hide in the house
access is about believing that disabled
people have a right to participation and
that each and every one of us
is responsible for that the problem is
it's a vicious cycle whilst disabled
people
act barred from accessing the world
people don't notice we're not there and
ask why
it seems like some people are
comfortable having conversations about
my disability
with me sorry to me but
they seem much less comfortable having
those conversations with me
but making those changes requires
discussions and a commitment to doing
better
when society takes a collective approach
to making access a priority it stops
becoming
solely my problem thank you
[Applause]
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