Positive ways to deal with frustrations in tango (ageism, rejection, self-blame) - Marijke de Vries

Summary

In this insightful conversation, the interviewee discusses their experiences with ageism in the tango community, highlighting a positive outlook despite potential obstacles. As a solo artist, they emphasize the importance of focusing on personal energy and enjoyment rather than age. They share their love for the social and cultural aspects of tango, including the music and the dance's ability to evoke a range of emotions. The discussion also touches on the impact of DJs on the tango experience and the value of a 'helicopter view' in understanding and managing frustrations that arise from the dance.

Takeaways

• 🎥 The conversation revolves around ageism in the context of tango dancing, with the speaker sharing personal experiences and views on the topic.
• 💃 The speaker, a tango dancer, does not focus on ageism when attending milongas or festivals, preferring to approach social gatherings with an open mind.
• 🎶 The speaker values the music and the art of tango, which led to learning Spanish and immersing in the culture, more than the social aspects.
• 🔁 Ageism is acknowledged as a reality, but the speaker tries not to let it affect their enjoyment of tango, focusing on energy and personal connection with dance partners.
• 🧘‍♀️ The speaker mentions the importance of not blaming oneself for aging and suggests meditation as a tool for staying present and avoiding self-blame.
• 🎉 Tango is described as a social meeting place with a variety of people, and the speaker appreciates the diversity of ages and backgrounds in milongas.
• 🌏 The speaker has been dancing tango for around 30 years and has observed changes in the tango scene, including the emergence of more club-like milongas.
• 🎈 The speaker enjoys dancing at marathons and encuentros, not based on the average age of attendees, but rather the atmosphere, DJ, and people.
• 🚶‍♀️ As a 'solist' or independent dancer, the speaker finds it easier to navigate different tango scenes without getting stuck in a particular group or mindset.
• 🎵 The role of the DJ in influencing the mood and enjoyment of a tango event is highlighted, with the speaker noting that uninspiring music can affect their experience.
• 🤔 The conversation touches on the idea of managing expectations and dealing with frustration, emphasizing the importance of perspective and self-awareness in enjoying tango.

Q & A

What topic was discussed in the video involving Robin Thomas?

The topic discussed in the video was ageism, particularly in the context of tango dancing.

How does the speaker view ageism in the tango community?

The speaker views ageism as a reality but doesn't focus on it, believing there are ways around it and that one's experience can vary.

What is the speaker's approach to attending milongas or festivals?

The speaker attends milongas and festivals with an open mind, focusing on enjoying the music, meeting interesting people, and not being overly concerned about age.

How does the speaker describe their personality in relation to social gatherings?

The speaker describes themselves as a soloist and an artist who doesn't hang out too much with groups and prefers to discover what's there at social gatherings.

What role does music play in the speaker's enjoyment of tango?

Music plays a significant role in the speaker's enjoyment of tango, as they love the music and it's a primary factor in their positive experience.

How long has the speaker been dancing tango?

The speaker has been dancing tango for either 29 or 30 years.

What was the speaker's initial motivation for trying tango?

The speaker was initially motivated to try tango as a way to meet different people and to experience a more open environment compared to the art scene.

How does the speaker perceive the difference between milongas in Buenos Aires and those in the rest of the world?

The speaker perceives that in Buenos Aires, milongas are more of a social meeting place with a variety of people and less focused on age, whereas in the rest of the world, some milongas have become more like clubs with a younger crowd and a more intense atmosphere.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with ageism or feeling out of place at a dance event?

The speaker advises not to blame oneself for aging, to focus on enjoying the music and the atmosphere, and to try to dance with people one enjoys.

What is the speaker's perspective on the role of a DJ in a tango event?

The speaker believes that a DJ can greatly influence the atmosphere and enjoyment of a tango event, with the ability to inspire dancers and make them forget about external factors.

How does the speaker handle not having a good time at a tango event?

The speaker tries not to blame external factors and instead focuses on enjoying the aspects of the event they can control, such as the music and the company of others.