Choosing A Spouse In The Light Of Islam | Mufti Menk

Summary

This sermon discusses the Islamic approach to choosing a spouse, emphasizing the importance of character and religious commitment (Deen) over wealth, beauty, and status. The speaker highlights how internal qualities, like faith and character, endure over time, while external appearances fade. Practical advice is provided for both unmarried individuals and those already married, encouraging spiritual growth and mutual support. The sermon also touches on the importance of health, the sanctity of marriage in Islam, and the benefits of marrying early to avoid sin, urging a balanced and holistic view of relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Prioritize character and deen (religion) when choosing a spouse over external factors like wealth or beauty.
• 😀 In Islam, the main criteria for a successful marriage are the character and conduct of the spouse, not just appearance or status.
• 😀 Physical beauty fades over time, but the strength of deen and character only grows and endures throughout the marriage.
• 😀 The importance of a good relationship with Allah is paramount in a marriage, as it will guide both partners through challenges and life changes.
• 😀 Early marriage can protect individuals from sin and temptation, especially in the context of modern-day societal pressures.
• 😀 It's crucial to be transparent about health matters before marriage to avoid complications later on.
• 😀 A marriage founded on external beauty alone can lead to dissatisfaction, especially when partners change over time.
• 😀 Islam encourages the practice of conducting marriage ceremonies in the mosque, which brings blessings and signifies the sacredness of the union.
• 😀 Women and men should not feel pressured by societal standards of beauty, as everyone has different preferences and attractions.
• 😀 It's important for a spouse to allow the other to grow spiritually and religiously, even if that means changes in appearance or lifestyle after marriage.
• 😀 Islamic teachings offer solutions for those who may have overlooked the qualities of deen and character when choosing a spouse, with opportunities for growth and reconciliation.

Q & A

What is the most important factor to consider when choosing a spouse in Islam?

The most important factor to consider is the person's religion (deen) and character. Islam emphasizes that the success of a marriage depends primarily on these qualities, rather than physical appearance, wealth, or social status.

How should physical appearance be considered when choosing a spouse?

While physical appearance can play a role, Islam teaches that it should not be the main factor in choosing a spouse. The internal qualities, such as character and deen, should take precedence, as outward beauty fades over time.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of 'deen' (religion) in marriage?

The speaker emphasizes 'deen' because it is the foundation of a successful and lasting marriage. A person with strong faith is likely to maintain moral integrity, treat their spouse with respect, and foster spiritual growth, which strengthens the marriage over time.

What should one prioritize: wealth or character when selecting a spouse?

Character should be prioritized over wealth. While wealth is important, it should not overshadow the values of deen and character, which are key to a happy and sustainable marriage in Islam.

What does the speaker say about societal pressures related to physical appearance?

The speaker highlights how societal pressures, especially those influenced by media, can lead to unrealistic beauty standards. These pressures can harm self-esteem and may lead to unhealthy behaviors. Islam encourages a focus on health and well-being, rather than conforming to societal expectations of beauty.

How should one approach a spouse who wishes to change their outward appearance, like covering or dressing modestly?

The speaker advises that if a spouse chooses to cover or change their appearance for spiritual reasons, the other spouse should support this decision, rather than resisting it. This support encourages spiritual growth and strengthens the marital bond.

What does the speaker say about the importance of health in marriage?

Health is an important factor in marriage. The speaker encourages couples to communicate openly about any health issues, and if there are significant concerns, these should be disclosed before marriage. Transparency builds trust in the relationship.

Why is it important to consider character over outward appearance in the long term?

Character is crucial because it shapes the relationship in a meaningful way, even as outward appearances change over time. As people age, their physical appearance may change, but a person's character and faith will continue to deepen and grow, leading to a stronger marriage.

What is the significance of holding the marriage ceremony (Nikah) in a masjid?

The Nikah should ideally be held in a masjid because it is a sacred act of worship. The masjid is the house of Allah, and holding the ceremony there signifies that the union is blessed by Allah. This also reminds the couple of the spiritual nature of their commitment.

How does the speaker address the issue of premarital relationships or long-term courtship before marriage?

The speaker advises against prolonged relationships that may involve physical intimacy before marriage. Instead, the marriage should be an act of worship, and premarital relationships should be kept within the bounds of Islamic guidelines. The speaker encourages halalizing the relationship through marriage as soon as possible.