Tell me about Your identity crisis | Cedrice Webber | TEDxSanDiego

Summary

This powerful narrative explores the personal journey of a multi-ethnic individual grappling with identity struggles. Raised in West Los Angeles, the speaker confronts questions of belonging as they navigate being labeled 'other.' Their search for self-expression leads them to music, where they find their true voice. Through the lens of their experiences and poetic reflections, the speaker encourages others to embrace their own identity struggles, allowing authenticity to guide personal growth. Ultimately, the story emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and the transformative power of pursuing one’s passions.

Takeaways

• 😀 Growing up in a multi-ethnic neighborhood in West Los Angeles led to a constant struggle with identity and belonging.
• 😀 The speaker's mixed heritage (African-American, Chinese, Spanish, Filipino) created confusion, as they were told they didn’t fit into clear ethnic boxes.
• 😀 An identity crisis was triggered by constant questioning about what the speaker was, leading to feelings of inadequacy and not being 'enough' of any one ethnicity.
• 😀 The speaker performed an interpretation piece about identity for a competition, which sparked an exploration of their own struggle with identity.
• 😀 Interactions with others facing similar identity struggles helped the speaker gain clarity and understand the shared human experience of confusion about ethnic identity.
• 😀 Embracing the identity struggle leads to greater authenticity, allowing individuals to unplug from societal labels and start listening to their true selves.
• 😀 The speaker was often labeled 'exotic,' a term that felt like a romanticized or patronizing way of describing their unknown or ambiguous background.
• 😀 The hardest part of the identity journey was not performing but answering the question, 'Who are you?' which led the speaker to seek help from friends for their self-definition.
• 😀 Music became the speaker's way to express their multi-ethnic identity, and they joined various musical groups to explore their heritage, even though they didn’t fully fit in anywhere.
• 😀 The speaker found that through music, they could blend multiple languages and styles, connecting to different parts of their identity while developing a unique voice as a songwriter.
• 😀 The speaker concludes that embracing identity struggles and continuing to show up authentically is a powerful way to discover one’s true self, despite the lack of clear answers.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial struggle with their identity?

The speaker struggled with confusion about their ethnic background, being told they were a mixture of several different cultures, yet feeling disconnected from all of them. This led to an identity crisis about who they truly were.

How did the speaker's experience with their multi-ethnic identity shape their artistic journey?

The speaker's struggle with their multi-ethnic identity prompted them to search for their voice in music, ultimately leading them to find clarity and self-expression through songwriting and performance. Music became a way for them to embrace their complexities and explore their various cultural influences.

What role did poetry play in the speaker's understanding of their identity crisis?

Poetry, especially the works of Brian Oliva and Hugh, helped the speaker gain clarity by reflecting their own identity struggles. These poems articulated the confusion and struggle of living in an ambiguous ethnic space, and they inspired the speaker to continue exploring their own identity.

What was the impact of the question 'What are you?' on the speaker?

The question 'What are you?' deeply impacted the speaker by reducing their complex identity to a single label. Initially, they responded with humor, but over time, it pushed them to rethink what their identity really meant and how they could redefine themselves beyond societal labels.

What were some of the obstacles the speaker faced while trying to belong in different cultural spaces?

The speaker faced multiple obstacles, such as not speaking certain languages (e.g., Tagalog) or not fitting specific physical attributes (e.g., skin tone) that would have made them feel 'Filipino enough' or 'Black enough'. These experiences reinforced the feeling of not belonging to any one group.

How did the speaker's relationship with music help resolve their identity struggle?

Music helped the speaker express their true self and gave them a platform to explore their multi-ethnic background. Through singing in various languages and writing their own songs, the speaker was able to reconnect with their roots and create a more authentic sense of belonging.

What does the speaker mean by the 'identity struggle' and how does it lead to authenticity?

The 'identity struggle' refers to the internal conflict of trying to define oneself amidst societal expectations and cultural ambiguities. Embracing this struggle leads to authenticity because it forces individuals to confront the messy, undefined parts of their identity and find their own truth.

Why does the speaker suggest embracing the 'messy parts' of identity?

The speaker suggests embracing the 'messy parts' of identity because it is through accepting these complexities that individuals can truly understand themselves. This process leads to personal growth and allows for a more genuine and authentic expression of who they are.

What is the significance of the speaker's involvement in a music band?

Joining the music band was significant because it allowed the speaker to explore their ethnic identity in a practical, artistic way. The band's diverse blend of genres like R&B, jazz, hip-hop, and soul mirrored the speaker's multi-ethnic experience, and it provided a space to express their unique voice.

How did the speaker's multi-ethnic ambiguity affect their artistic work as a songwriter?

The speaker's multi-ethnic ambiguity initially caused confusion, but ultimately, it became a source of strength in their songwriting. By incorporating influences from different cultures and languages, the speaker created music that reflects their complex identity, leading to more personal and meaningful artistic expression.