Albert Ellis y Gloria sesión de terapia racional emotiva
Summary
TLDRLa terapia racional emotiva (TREM), también conocida como RET, se basa en varias proposiciones fundamentales. La primera de ellas sugiere que el pasado, aunque influyente, no es determinante en la vida de una persona. La verdadera fuente de los problemas emocionales y de auto-sabotaje reside en las creencias y en las frases exclamativas simples que una persona se dice a sí misma. La TER se enfoca en el presente y en el cambio de estas creencias iracionales para aliviar la ansiedad y la depresión. El terapeuta guía al paciente hacia una autoaceptación y le asigna tareas prácticas para mejorar la autoestima y la eficiencia en las interacciones sociales. El objetivo final es que el individuo aprenda a cuestionar y desafiar su sistema de valores y pensamientos, adoptando un enfoque científico en su comportamiento y en la vida diaria.
Takeaways
- 🧐 La terapia racional emotiva (TREP) se basa en la idea de que el pasado, aunque influyente, no es crucial en la vida de una persona y que las actitudes y creencias actuales son las que más afectan su estado emocional.
- 🗣️ La autoindoctrinación con creencias irracionales o ilógicas puede generar emociones negativas y comportamientos autodestructivos, lo que se debe a las frases exclamativas simples que la persona se repite a sí misma.
- 🔄 La TREP se enfoca en el presente y busca cambiar las actitudes y creencias actuales de la persona para mejorar su bienestar emocional.
- 💭 La persona tiende a hablar consigo misma en frases simples y en su idioma nativo, y estas frases pueden ser racionales o irracionales, afectando su estado emocional y comportamiento.
- 🚫 La TREP desafía las ideas y creencias que la persona tiene sobre eventos externos, destacando que aunque no se pueda cambiar el evento externo, sí se pueden cambiar las creencias internas sobre él.
- 🤔 Se busca en la terapia que el paciente tenga tres tipos de insights:认识到自己的负面行为有其思想上的先决条件 (ideológicos), 认识到自己不断地用这些思想重新灌输自己, y 认识到只有 a través del trabajo y la práctica se puede mejorar.
- 📚 El trabajo y la práctica son esenciales para el cambio terapéutico; simplemente hablar o pensar no es suficiente.
- 📋 Se asignan tareas concretas al paciente para que las realice y se verifique su cumplimiento, con el objetivo de fomentar el cambio de comportamiento.
- 🧠 El objetivo final es que el individuo aprenda a cuestionar y desafiar su sistema de valores y pensamiento básico, aplicando el método científico a la vida diaria.
- 🤷♀️ La persona en el ejemplo se siente insegura y teme no ser suficientemente atractiva o no cumplir con las expectativas de los hombres que le atraen, lo que la lleva a comportamientos no auténticos.
- 🌟 Se enfatiza la importancia de aceptarse a uno mismo, con sus defectos y fracasos, para poder mejorar y crecer en lugar de castigarse por ellos.
- 🤝 Se sugiere que la persona debe tomar riesgos y abrirse a nuevas interacciones, siempre y cuando esté dispuesta a ser ella misma en lugar de alguien que no es.
Q & A
¿Qué es la terapia racional emotiva (RT) y en qué se basa?
-La terapia racional emotiva (RT) es una forma de psicoterapia que se basa en varias proposiciones fundamentales. Cree que lo pasado no es crucial en la vida de una persona y que las experiencias negativas actuales están causadas por las creencias y valores que una persona se enseña a sí misma, no por los eventos pasados.
¿Por qué la terapia racional emotiva se enfoca en el presente en lugar del pasado?
-Se enfoca en el presente porque las emociones negativas y el comportamiento autodestructivo son resultado de las creencias y enseñanzas que una persona reafirma actualmente, no por eventos pasados. El enfoque en el presente permite abordar y cambiar estas creencias actuales.
¿Cómo se relaciona el lenguaje interno con las emociones negativas en la terapia racional emotiva?
-El lenguaje interno, es decir, cómo una persona habla consigo misma, puede ser racional o irracional. Cuando una persona se habla a sí misma de manera irracional, crea emociones negativas y comportamientos autodestructivos.
¿Qué es una 'oración exclamativa simple' y cómo afecta a nuestra emoción y comportamiento?
-Una 'oración exclamativa simple' es una forma de hablar consigo mismo que involucra ideas que puede decirse en cualquier idioma. Si estas oraciones son irracionales, pueden generar emociones negativas y comportamientos autodestructivos.
¿Qué tipos de ideas pueden generar sentimientos de ansiedad y depresión?
-Las ideas que no tienen referencia empírica y que son supersticiosas o dogmáticas pueden generar sentimientos de ansiedad y depresión. Estas ideas generalmente se fundamentan en oraciones de fe que no están basadas en hechos.
¿Cómo afecta la perspectiva de una persona los eventos que les suceden?
-Según Epicteto, no es el evento en sí lo que nos afecta, sino nuestra perspectiva o cómo vemos el evento. En la terapia racional emotiva, se busca cambiar la perspectiva del paciente para que pueda manejar mejor sus emociones.
¿Cuáles son los tres tipos de insights que se intentan mostrar a los pacientes en la terapia racional emotiva?
-Los tres tipos de insights son: 1) Que todos los comportamientos, especialmente los autodestructivos, tienen antecedentes ideológicos claros. 2) El ser humano como un animal simbólico, se autoindoctra constantemente con estas ideologías. 3) Incluso cuando el paciente ve claramente lo que se está diciendo a sí mismo y que es absurdo, solo con el trabajo y la práctica puede mejorar.
¿Por qué es necesaria la acción para cambiar a un individuo en terapia racional emotiva?
-La acción es necesaria porque simplemente hablar o pensar sobre los problemas no es suficiente para el cambio terapéutico. La terapia incluye tareas concretas y se hace un seguimiento para asegurarse de que el paciente las realice, lo que ayuda a cambiar su comportamiento.
¿Cuál es el objetivo final de la terapia racional emotiva?
-El objetivo final es que el individuo aprenda a cuestionar y desafiar su propio sistema de valores y su propia forma de pensar, para que pueda aplicar el método científico a los hechos de la vida y ser verdaderamente científico en su comportamiento.
¿Cómo se relaciona la ansiedad y la inseguridad con la forma en que una persona se ve a sí misma?
-La ansiedad y la inseguridad están relacionadas con cómo una persona se ve a sí misma porque si una persona se valora a sí misma negativamente y se define en términos de la valoración de los demás, siempre estará preocupada por no ser suficientemente buena o no poder mantener su estatus o relación.
¿Qué tipo de tareas de homework se pueden asignar en la terapia racional emotiva para ayudar a los pacientes a cambiar su comportamiento?
-Las tareas de homework pueden incluir retos que exijan al paciente salir de su zona de confort, como iniciar conversaciones con individuos elegibles o tomar riesgos para ser ellos mismos en situaciones sociales, con el fin de practicar y mejorar su capacidad para ser auténticos y no autodestructivos.
Outlines
😀 Terapia Racional Emocional
La terapia racional emotiva (T.RE), también conocida como terapia racional, se basa en varias proposiciones fundamentales. La primera de ellas es que el pasado no es crucial en la vida de una persona, aunque afecta su desarrollo. La T.RE se enfoca en el presente y en cómo las personas se autocondicionan con creencias irracionales, lo que lleva a emociones negativas y comportamientos autodestructivos. La terapia busca enseñar a los pacientes a cuestionar y cambiar sus pensamientos y creencias para mejorar su bienestar emocional.
😅 La Fuente de la Tiñez
La timidez y la ansiedad en las relaciones amorosas se deben a pensamientos y creencias negativas que las personas se dicen a sí mismas. Al valorarse a sí mismas y preocuparse excesivamente por las percepciones de los demás, las personas pueden actuar de manera inauténtica y autodestructiva. La terapia busca identificar estas creencias y enseñar a los pacientes a actuar de manera más auténtica y aceptar sus propias imperfecciones.
🤔 La Autoevaluación Negativa
La autoevaluación negativa y la autodevaluación son problemas comunes que afectan a las personas en sus relaciones. Al enfocarse en las imperfecciones y defectos, las personas pueden obtener una imagen distorsionada de sí mismas y verse a sí mismas de manera negativa. La terapia busca ayudar a las personas a aceptar sus defectos y a enfocarse en sus fortalezas y atributos positivos.
😣 El Miedo a la Rechazo
El miedo al rechazo y a la soledad puede llevar a las personas a actuar de manera inauténtica y a devaluarse a sí mismas. Al enfocarse en las posibilidades negativas y catastróficas, las personas pueden crear un ciclo de ansiedad y miedo que impide que sean auténticas y se relacionen de manera saludable. La terapia busca ayudar a las personas a superar este miedo y a aceptar el riesgo de ser rechazadas.
😌 Ser Uno Mismo
La clave para mejorar las relaciones y la autoestima es ser uno mismo y actuar de manera auténtica. Al aceptar sus propias imperfecciones y enfocarse en ser auténticos, las personas pueden mejorar sus relaciones y su bienestar emocional a largo plazo. La terapia proporciona herramientas y estrategias para ayudar a las personas a ser más auténticas y aceptar sus defectos.
🤓 La Terapia Racional Emocional en Acción
Este caso ilustra la terapia racional emotiva en acción. El terapeuta identifica rápidamente las creencias y pensamientos irracionales de la paciente y la guía para que los cuestione y los cambie. Se enfoca en la filosofía de vida de la paciente y su autoevaluación negativa, y proporciona una tarea para que la paciente practique en la vida real. El objetivo es que la paciente trabaje en sus pensamientos y creencias para mejorar su bienestar emocional a largo plazo.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Racional Emocional Terapia (RET)
💡Autoevaluación negativa
💡Perfectionismo
💡Autoindoctrinamiento
💡Acciones y práctica
💡Autoacepción
💡Comportamiento autodestructivo
💡Inseguridad
💡Tolerancia a la frustración
💡Catarsis
💡Filosofía de vida
Highlights
Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) focuses on the present rather than the past, emphasizing that individuals affect themselves more than past events do.
Individuals create negative emotions through irrational self-talk, which can be challenged and changed.
The therapy aims to help patients recognize and dispute self-defeating beliefs that lead to negative emotions and behaviors.
Patients are encouraged to develop insights into the ideological antecedents of their behaviors and to understand their self-indoctrination process.
Therapy involves work and practice to reevaluate and revalue one's beliefs, leading to improvement.
Action is necessary for change; mere talk or thinking is not sufficient.
Homework assignments are given to patients to practice being themselves and to face their fears.
The ultimate goal is for individuals to continuously challenge their basic value systems and thinking throughout their lives.
The patient's shyness and self-deprecation are linked to her self-imposed standards and fear of not meeting expectations.
The therapist helps the patient identify her negative self-talk and the need to accept herself despite perceived flaws.
Acceptance of oneself, including shortcomings, is crucial for overcoming social anxieties and inefficiencies in behavior.
The patient is encouraged to take risks and be authentic in social interactions to improve self-esteem and reduce anxiety.
The therapy session demonstrates the process of identifying and challenging a patient's core beliefs that contribute to emotional distress.
The patient is guided to understand that her negative feelings stem from her self-evaluations rather than external events.
The therapist emphasizes the importance of persistent self-assessment and the scientific method in evaluating one's beliefs.
The session concludes with the patient feeling optimistic and armed with actionable insights to work on outside of therapy.
The therapy highlights the patient's need to redefine her self-worth independent of others' opinions to achieve emotional well-being.
The transcript illustrates the typical structure and process of Rational Emotive Therapy, including the identification of irrational beliefs and the assignment of practical tasks.
Transcripts
rationale therapy a rational emotive
therapy also called
RT for short is based on several
fundamental propositions or hypotheses
the first of these is that the past is
not crucial in a person life the past
affects him a good deal but he effects
himself much more than the past affects
him because no matter what he has
learned during his historical
development the only reason why these
things that have happened to him and
have been told to him affect him today
is because he is still re indoctrinating
himself with the same philosophies of
life same values that he usually imbibed
and taught himself to early in his
childhood so we stick largely in the
present in rational emotive
psychotherapy rather than in the past
and we believe today the individual
experiences negative emotions
self-defeating behavior in efficiencies
because he now is indoctrinating himself
with what we call simple exclamatory
sentences which involve ideas human
beings can tell themselves ideas in all
kinds of languages and pictures in sign
languages and nonverbal expression of
man for example but they normally speak
to themselves in simple English if
English is their native tongue and when
they talk to themselves in an irrational
or an illogical way then they create
they literally create their negative
feelings or emotions in the behavior
that follows their brow now just to give
an example the individual usually held
himself when he's upset first the same
sentence and then an ending sentence the
same thing is something along the order
of
I don't like the thing that I've done I
dislike my own behavior and that would
be fine but unfortunately he follows it
with an insane sentence which says to
himself and because I don't like my
behavior I am allows I am worthless I am
a no-goodnik and this thoroughly in
thing sentence which is a sentence of
faith onion founded on fact which has no
empirical reference which is a kind of
superstitious or dogmatically religious
system creates what we call his anxiety
and drew his anxiety and depression with
guilt there's other forms of self
defeatism or again the individual tells
themselves the same sentence I don't
like your behavior when let us say
somebody has acted badly with him and
instead of following that up with that
because I don't like your behavior I can
still stand it and I'm going to try to
change to get you to change your
behavior he says I can't stand your
behavior or in an absolute istic
god-like randy-yos manner you shouldn't
be the way you are because I think that
I don't like the way you are now it's
the second B sentences which upset the
individual or another way of putting it
as epictetus a Roman philosopher said
many years ago it's not what happens to
us at point-a that it upsets us it's the
our view of what happens to us and in
rational emotive psychotherapy we go
after this individuals the patient's
view and show him that whatever he
thinks is upset him usually some
external situation what somebody else
has done it's really what he's telling
himself about this thing this event
which upsets him and although he may
never be able to do anything about the
external event at a he can change the
internal event his sentence his belief
to himself at B now in rational emotive
psychotherapy we try to show the patient
three kinds of insights and kinds of
distinctions of some other therapies
which usually emphasize one major
the first kind we try to show him is
that all his behaviors especially his
negative self-defeating behavior which
we're interested which is upsetting him
has clear-cut ideological antecedent he
may have learnt these as I said before
in the past but right now today he must
still believe these same ideologies else
he would not get the negative behavior
that flows therefrom and insight number
two which is most important than which
is unfortunately neglected and many
other systems of psychotherapy is that
he being as Ernst kathira once said a
symbolising animal is continually
re-induction aiding himself with these
ideologies and that the issue that's why
he's now deserved now in sight number
three is that even when he sees clearly
what he's telling himself and that he's
telling himself nonsense only by work
and practice by continually reassessing
and revaluing his own philosophical will
he ever get better
now we also stress the fact that action
is necessary to change an individual
just talking about things thinking about
things is nice but not necessary or I
should say it's not a necessary
condition for psychotherapeutic can
change change what the individual has to
do an addition usually is acts and we
therefore give him concrete homework
assignments and get him to act these out
and check up and follow to see whether
he does these homework assignments and
our final goal is to get the individual
to learn and learn for the rest of his
life to challenge and question his own
basic value system his own thinking so
that he really thinks for himself he
must do this particularly when he feels
miserable he feels anxiety or depression
or guilt or too much frustration or
anything else that is negative or when
he behaves very inefficiently and
finally he was able through this kind of
new thinking rethinking his understand
to apply what we call the scientific
method to the facts of human living and
to be truly scientific in his behavior
to question and challenge his own
assumptions as we do in science and
thereby to minimize though never
entirely to eliminate the terrible
anxiety and the atrocious hostility
which unfortunately affects most of us
in this existence well Gloria I'm not
relevant
well would you like to tell me what's
bothering you look you know I think the
things that I'd like to country the most
about are adjusting to my single life
hoping in I guess America diet I don't
know if I'm doing the wrong thing but
I'm going to refer to your book anyway
because this is what I'm obsessed with
this book about the intelligent Woman's
Guide to man honey yeah try to follow it
and I believe in it this is why it's so
fun reading your book because I'm not
much of a reader but I sort of believe
the same one you do that I've got a
problem in this area is being near that
I do I'm attracted to or the type of man
I'd like to become closely involved with
I can't seem to meet or I get too shy
with for some things that I don't but it
doesn't click the man I seem to be
dating nowadays other ones that I don't
respect much the ones I don't enjoy much
the same flip and uninteresting and I
don't know if it's something about me or
what because I really didn't want to
meet this kind of man
well let's talk a little about your
shyness let suppose you meet somebody
who you consider eligible but you might
walk now let's see if we can get at the
source of your shyness that's what
you're telling yourself to create it you
meet this man and you feel shy and bad
yes but I don't usually show that I
usually axial it right back yeah I act
like the other man act to me at the
magnet IX lip I don't feel near as
intelligent I act like a typical dumb
blonde I'm just I'm just not myself with
him I'm more on a tease
yes well as you probably know for
micromanaging I believe that people only
get emotions such as negative emotions
of shyness embarrassment shame because
they tell themselves something in simple
at Kalama Tory sentences now let's try
to find out what you're telling yourself
you're leading this individual now what
do you think your think is up before you
get flipped I don't even know what it is
that I'm not I don't fit his
expectations I'm not quite enough for
him
carrier to me although I want to cut the
man I'm afraid I won't have enough to
attract him well that's the first part
of the sentence that might be a true one
because maybe he could be here is you in
some ways maybe he wouldn't be affected
to you but that would never upset you if
you were only saying that I think he may
be prepared to be now you're adding a
second sentence to that which is if this
is so that would be awful
well not quite cook streams that because
I thought about that too it usually I've
missed my chance again because when I
want to become I'll show the very best
of myself because I think I have
self-confidence and I have enough to
offer when I get afraid like that then I
show all the bad qualities I I'm slam
I'm then I'm so much on the defensive
that I can't show my good qualities and
it's like I miss my chance again there
was a good opportunity to get too close
to this man and I Loused it up again all
right but even let's suppose you're
saying that and I think you really are
but you must be saying something else
too because if you were just saying hell
I miss my chance again you'd say alright
next time I'll take advantage of what I
learned this time and do it a little
better now you feel must be saying if
you feel shame embarrassment shyness is
something pretty bad about your error in
missing your chance again I don't know
if this follows in context to what
you're saying but the thing I do feel is
that I get suspicious then am I the type
of woman that will only appeal to the
ones that are
not my type of guy anyway is there
something wrong with me am I never going
to find the kind of man I enjoy I always
seem to get the other one alright now
you're getting closer to what I'm
talking about because you really think
if I am this type of woman does none of
these good eligible males are going to
appeal to then that would be awful I
never get what I want and that would
really be something frightful
I don't like thinking of myself that way
I'm going to put myself on a higher
standard I don't like to think that I
may be just an average Jane Doe so let's
just supposed to the second argument at
the moment that works but you were an
average Jane Doe now with that seem so
terrible will be inconvenient it would
be unpleasant you wouldn't want it but
would you get an emotion like shyness
embarrassment shame of just believing
that maybe I'm going to end up like Jane
Doe I don't know I don't think it could
because you still would have to be
saying on some level as I think you've
just said and it would be very bad it
would be terrible I would be a
no-goodnik if I would just well I don't
ever get what I want if I were just a
Jane Doe and I'd have to accept it I've
never get what I want and I don't want
to live the rest of my life let's just
picking in well necessarily so you've
never you really mean your chances would
be reduced because we know some icky
girls who get some splendid men oh yeah
envy so you're generalizing there you're
saying it probably would be that I'd
have a more difficult time but then
you're jumping through therefore I'd
never get at all very catastrophizing
there that you jump through yes until
exactly to meet the time it feels like
forever that's right but isn't that a
vote of non-confidence in you an
essential vote of non-confidence and the
non-confidence is because you're saying
one I don't want to miss out on things I
would like to get the kind of a man I
want and be a in your word superior kind
of girl who gets the superior kind of
man yeah but if I don't
then I'm practically on the other side
of the chain completely a no-goodnik
somebody will never get anything that I
want which is quite an extreme away
isn't it yes and that's what I call
catastrophizing taking a true statement
and there is a good deal truth what
you're saying if you didn't get the kind
of a man you wanted but it would be
inconvenient annoying frustrating but it
really would be and then saying I'd
never possibly get what I want and even
beyond that you're anything and then I
couldn't be a happy human being are you
really saying no but let's just look at
that let's just assume the work
inspiration Rocco once said years ago
assume the work that you never got and
also whatever the reasons may be the
kind of a man you want look at all the
other things you can do in life to be
happy well I don't like the whole
process I don't even like if I'm going
to and I don't all right even if it
wasn't a catastrophe yeah even if I
didn't look at it as a catastrophe I
don't like the way I'm living right now
for example when I meet somebody and I'm
interested in the could have some
potential right away I find I'm not near
to relaxed with him I worry more should
I be friendly should I kiss him
goodnight should I do this if it's just
a dodo and I don't give it I can do
anything I want to be I turn out to be
more of a person when I'm not as
concerned I don't like the way I'm up
well I do not you're not really
concerned you're also concerned you're
anxious because you ingest concerns you
do your best and you deceive yourself
if I succeed great if I don't succeed
top right now I won't get what I want
but you're over concerned or anxious
you're really saying again that's what
we said a moment ago if I don't get what
I want right now I'll never get it and
that would be so awful that I've got to
get it right now that causes the anxiety
doesn't it yes or else work for it yes
but if I don't get it right now that's
right I want to feel like I'm working
toward it isn't you what a guarantee I
hear my train didn't even saying I would
like a guarantee of working to it and
there are none sick well girls like
I don't know why I'm coming out that way
what I really mean is I want a step
toward working toward it I bother you I
don't know I thought well what I was
hoping is whatever that doesn't mean why
I don't seem to be attracting is coming
and rising on the defensive why I feel
more free you could help me when it is
on the fray up so I won't do it so much
well my hypothesis is so far that what
you're afraid of is not just family with
this individual band which is really the
only thing at issue when you go out with
a new and we're talking about eligible
males now will rule out the inevitable
one
you're not just afraid that you'll miss
this one you're afraid that you will
miss this one and therefore you miss
every other and therefore you prove that
you are really not up to getting what
you want and wouldn't that be awful
you're bringing in these catastrophes
and you'll sound more scarring at it but
that summer I feel like this different
brilliance I keep this up if you had one
thing I'm doing there's something I'm
doing that could be as real a person
with these men that I'm interested eyes
right you're defeating your own ends but
has done it again
I was so doggone anxious about trying to
hook this guy I could be more real he's
going to enjoy me more if I'm real
anyway so I'm only giving him the stinky
part of me right how can anybody I
respect respective a to connect who I am
when I don't really come through look
how you just devalued yourself let's
just suppose the sake of argument you
kept giving the stinky part of you a
human being another person is trying to
get interest and you might not like
these attributes these characteristics
of you but I don't think he's going to
despise you as a person who you are
really doing I don't I'm harder on
myself and I think that's exactly of
course like me there's not enough to
kill me right
and I say before if people just didn't
like you and you went through enough of
them and it would be hard to go through
notes that it would be possible you'd
eventually find one who did like you and
whom you like but as long as you devalue
yourself personally in your own eyes you
complicate the problem enormous ly and
you're not focusing on how can I be
myself Cain the trait if you for example
had a let us just say a mangled arm and
you wouldn't accept your whole person
being because of this man
then you would focus so much on that
mangled arm you wouldn't be able to do
things that you wouldn't otherwise be
able to do how much what I did yes yes
and say doesn't exactly tell you thank
you a part of you an arm and focusing
almost completely on that in just to
bring it down to our own conversation
you're taking a part of you your shyness
you're not seeing yourself with males
and focusing so much or that part you're
almost making not if the whole of you
and you get an awful picture of your
total self because of this defective
part and we're assuming you and I like
it it is effective we're not glossing
over they know you're doing all right
you're not doing that well now you can
accept yourself for the time being with
this defective part with these
attributes and not beat yourself over
the head as I see of you definitely in
doing then it becomes a relatively
simple problem through work and practice
and work and practice again this
negative attributes in other words let's
get back to that now how to be yourself
let's just oppose for the moment that
you really weren't fully accepting
yourself with your failings right you
know you're going to go how you know
you're going to screw up with the next
man man after that in all probability
because saying alright I have to go
through a learning process that's too
bad I won't be very good doing this
while what I'll do it just as I would
add ice skating where I'd have to fall
on my neck for a few times before I
learned to ice skate okay now let's
suppose that man is that was oh you were
really accepting you you go out take the
risk of being you because after all if
you do in one of these then you have to
be yourself you're not winning them for
a day you're not winning them for a fair
assume you want to marry one of these
individuals eventually and be one of our
online relationship I don't feel serious
hearing tomorrow right a long
relationship in the course of which you
couldn't act so we don't want to give
you something well that he'll later find
out was a role I think or thing but you
have to eventually be yourself now if
you really want so concerned about these
present current failings views you could
go out and be this self of you would ask
yourself what do I really
do with this man who help enjoy him and
have him help enjoy me because that's
the basic function of life enjoyment
which resents lose and you force
yourself to take the risk of being back
because if you succeeded great
if you fail too bad either you not for
him or he may even not be for you but
don't forget you said before when these
men reject you you would still run away
it must be my doing a Michaels you know
they may not be your cup of tea and you
may not be their cup of tea and it's
nobody's full it's just true
incompatible with it in yes you say yes
so if you would really accept yourself
as you are and then force yourself as if
you were one of my regular patients I
would give you this homework assignments
and then check up on you to see whether
you can force yourself to open your big
mouth and be you for a while even though
it takes with these nails you would
times the a you would start being itself
and gradually locking off these
inefficiencies which is exactly are the
result of not being you but watching
yourself from the outside while you're
trying to be you which is almost
impossible because you can't spy on
yourself and still be yourself very well
at the same time you know but it would
become like a habit after a while if you
took the risk then for yourself so as I
said open your big mouth and even though
you thought maybe it'll come out badly
maybe he won't like me maybe I'll lose
them complete me and so on and so forth
then you start swinging in the groove
and being what you want to be and I
would almost guarantee that you'd become
more practice than less inefficient
especially in terms of the shyness
because you wouldn't be focusing on oh
my god isn't it awful how bad I am you
would be focusing on what a great
individual this is and how can I enjoy
him what is he Oh the focus but yet they
might relate to the opposite way right
now can I be more attracted to him how
can he be pleased by me because
underneath if I am not then I
I enjoy myself I refuse to accept myself
unless I attract and win this good
individual is that what you're basically
yes and I even go for it don't you
almost win when there is one of these
men i come in contact with and i find
that i want it call it more of a
relationship well if he accepts me and
we're going along pretty great i find
myself constantly on the defensive
actually watching the way i see it not
drinking too much the whole time instead
of just relaxing and saying a leader
like Mary different the most in
psychotherapy you're giving a very good
illustration of why other directors
business other directly this doesn't pay
because you really are defining yourself
in terms of others estimation of you
then even when you're ahead of the game
and you're winning them you have to be
saved yourself when I win them today
will I win them tomorrow will I keep
winning them and you always focus on am
i doing the things that please him and
you never are yourself you never have
itself while if you're seeing what do I
want to do in life then let's see some
human beings who would like me the way I
am let's see if this is one of those
human beings then that's the only way is
list that you can be okay you know we
haven't got too much time now so but try
to get it off on a constructive notice
more concretely what you can do you
asked before where you can go how you
can meet new people I'd say that I don't
know this particular area but it's
almost any place if you could do what we
are talking about really take risk and
focus on what you want out of life and
on the fact that it's great to take time
which unfortunately it does and it is
not awful and you are not awful while
it's taking that time then you can leave
yourself open unsightly to all kinds of
new encounters and these encounters can
take place unbuttoned while waiting for
a streetcar
they have three cars in this area at
cocktail parties anyway you can talk to
people who look eligible you can ask you
and to get you eligible but males and so
on but the main thing is that you have
to pay like yourself while you're not
doing badly and be not be intolerant
against conditions which are bad and I'm
agreeing with you that they are now as I
said I would give you with your offense
in mind the homework assignment of
deliberately very deliberately going out
and getting yourself into trouble in
other words taking the most eligible
males you can find at the moment and
blessing yourself risking yourself to be
you are you saying even if it were like
if I went into a doctor's office to
start a conversation with him because he
was attracted coming or he appealed to
me writing also finds and starting out a
conversation with him personally
and why not if he's an eligible
individual any kind of an eligible
individually I know you accept that but
that seems awfully brazen ensemble let's
suppose it is phrase why do you got to
lose the worst you can do is reject you
and you don't have to reject you if you
were thinking along the lines that we've
been 45 minutes assess so how can you
try to do that I think I think in order
to give me a spurt to go out and feel
you're right that's all I can do is be
rejected right and that needs you intact
it just leaves you unfortunately not for
the moment getting what you want
are you try to go anywhere I read and
I'll be very interested in finding out
oh I'm excited promise
well it was certainly very nice meeting
you sir thank you neck
I enjoyed talking with this interesting
and I think highly courageous patience
and thought that it gave a recession
gave a pretty good illustration of a
fairly typical especially rational
emotive psychotherapy how was it typical
in several ways in the first place
I was able rather rapidly and quickly to
get to some of what I think are the
philosophic cores of the patients the
services to show her that the reason she
is feeling shy and ashamed and afraid in
this instance is because even though
harshly unwittingly she is defining
herself in a very negative way or
devaluing herself by blaming herself too
much for imperfect behavior because
perfectionism is the root of most human
evil and she was showing some fairly
typical for vex mystic notion so very
quickly is is usually done in rational
emotive psychotherapy we skip some of
the asides we skip going back into the
history of some of the psycho analysts
do and we skip some of the transference
relations between us and the patient and
we skip some of the nonverbal expression
not that we think these things are quite
unimportant but we think they're of
relatively little relevant to the basic
core of the baseless disturbance which
is her philosophy of life and typically
again this patient showed both anxiety
and low frustration tolerance which most
patients showed and these were
intertwined and again very usually she
was then beating herself over the head
blaming herself condemning herself a
feeling these kinds of feelings now she
did not see very clearly at least I
thought so at the beginning of the
session exactly what declarative
sentences and exclamatory sentences she
was telling herself to create these
feelings and I endeavoured to show her
some of these sentences and what could
be done about it and among other things
I also though briefly because this is
just one brief session tried to give her
a whole
work assignment that you could go and
get her teeth into it exid li try to do
2d propagandize herself by going out and
taking risks which normally up to now
she hasn't been taking that much of it's
interesting to note that again quite
typically in this session although i was
attacking fairly vigorously the
patient's attitude the philosophies she
did not feel an attack on her she felt
that I'm supporting her with anything
and she ended up I thought rather
optimistically feeling that I had given
her several ideas of what she could do
in the future again rather typically in
this session I kept persuading the
patients and attacking her ideas and
showing her that her philosophy of life
not only was such and such but that if
she stuck to this kind of philosophy she
had to get negative and self-defeating
results from it and then I kept
persistently going on even though at
times she became defensive and wasn't
quite accepting by any means what I was
saying I didn't let this bother me but
kept going on again her basic core
system her value system because this is
again what bothers patients that they
give up very easily on attacking their
own negative evaluations of themselves
and therefore they persist forever now
the one limitations of course especially
in terms of time to the session and
these limitations did have some effect
for example it was enough not enough
time for repetition in several sessions
I would have gone over much of the same
material until I was sure that hadn't
sunk in then I would have had time to
get feedback for the patient to see
whether she really understood in action
in particular what I was talking about I
wonder she was following it up or
leading herself up some other diverting
pathway which people can do there was no
time to emphasize that she would have to
continually reassess her evaluations of
herself and her general philosophies and
do rethinking for the rest of her life
there was no time to show the patient
very much that even during this session
in relation to me and what she was
saying about herself that she was
displaying
are their attitudes toward herself and
finally there was no occasion because
this was an individual session to see
how she related specifically to other
non therapist as she would in group
therapy and in the midst of this group
situation to show her exactly what was
going on and what she could do about it
but I do feel hope
hopeful about the session and think that
perhaps I was able at least to give the
patient a few ideas which he could then
go out and work on on her own because
unless patients do work themselves with
the material that we therapists give
them in psychotherapy nothing eventually
happens it isn't any magic that we have
for them but we can give them certain
catalytic ideas and influences which
then if they work and practice at work
and practice that will do them good for
the rest of their life
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