My Girlfriend and I Broke Up

TmarTn
13 Apr 201413:04

Summary

TLDRIn this heartfelt vlog, the creator shares a personal experience about going through a painful breakup with his girlfriend of two years. He candidly discusses the emotional turmoil, the mutual decision to end the relationship, and the struggles of coping with heartbreak. Despite the pain, he remains hopeful, reflecting on the importance of moving on and learning from the situation. He expresses gratitude for the support of his family, especially his mother, and reassures viewers that life continues, encouraging them to stay positive during similar hardships.

Takeaways

  • 💔 The speaker has recently gone through a difficult breakup with his girlfriend, Haley, after two years of dating.
  • 💡 He acknowledges that the breakup is final and mutual, not just a temporary situation, but believes it's the best decision for both of them.
  • 😔 He admits that the breakup was emotionally painful and consuming, causing significant heartache and physical symptoms like loss of appetite and sleep.
  • 💪 Despite the initial devastation, he emphasizes that life goes on and things do get better over time, sharing that his pain started to subside after a few days.
  • 👩‍👦 He credits his mom for supporting him during the hardest days, helping him through the emotional turmoil after the breakup.
  • 🤔 The breakup led him to reflect on the relationship, acknowledging that despite love and good memories, they were not the best for each other.
  • 🙏 He asks his audience to respect both his and Haley’s privacy, urging them not to send negative or pressure-filled messages regarding the breakup.
  • 💼 The speaker now faces the challenge of selling his house, which he bought to be closer to Haley, and figuring out where to live next.
  • 📈 He plans to focus more on his YouTube content as a positive outcome from the breakup, with more time dedicated to creating better videos for his audience.
  • 🌟 He concludes with the message that breakups, while painful, offer opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery, encouraging others to stay hopeful.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the video?

    -The video discusses the creator's recent breakup with his girlfriend Haley after two years of dating and how he is coping with the emotional aftermath.

  • How long had the creator and Haley been dating before the breakup?

    -They had been dating for about two years.

  • Why does the creator describe this breakup as particularly difficult?

    -He believed they would be together forever and shared many experiences, making it hard to let go despite realizing the relationship was no longer right for them.

  • What physical and emotional effects did the breakup have on the creator?

    -The creator experienced intense emotional pain, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, and constant stress, which he describes as worse than any physical injury he had ever endured.

  • How did the creator's mother help him during this difficult time?

    -His mother drove to be with him, took time off work, and supported him emotionally for several days, helping him to start feeling better.

  • What realization did the creator come to by the third day after the breakup?

    -He realized that life would go on, and he could find happiness without relying on someone else. His confidence began to rebuild, and he started feeling more at peace.

  • What was the creator's ultimate decision about the relationship after talking with Haley again?

    -After their conversation, the creator felt more certain that ending the relationship was the right choice, as her behavior confirmed that things were too broken to fix.

  • How does the creator feel about Haley and her family despite the breakup?

    -The creator still loves and cares for Haley, and he holds deep appreciation for her family, hoping to maintain some form of friendship and connection with them.

  • What does the creator ask his viewers to avoid doing after watching the video?

    -He asks viewers not to leave mean comments or attack Haley, as their breakup wasn't malicious, and he wants to avoid unnecessary negativity.

  • What positive outlook does the creator have for the future?

    -He believes that this breakup will ultimately lead to better opportunities for both of them, and he looks forward to focusing more on his YouTube content and personal growth.

Outlines

00:00

💔 Breaking Up and Life Lessons

In this paragraph, the creator introduces a personal vlog where he shares a difficult life update with his audience. He reveals that he and his girlfriend, Haley, have officially ended their two-year relationship. This breakup is not a temporary split but a final decision. While acknowledging the possibility of reconciliation in the future, he emphasizes that for now, it feels permanent. Despite the pain, he hopes that by sharing his story, his viewers can learn from his experience and apply the lessons to their own lives.

05:01

🌧️ The Pain of Separation

The creator discusses the emotional turmoil he's been feeling leading up to the breakup. He mentions having doubts for months but tried to ignore them. His relationship with Haley was his first serious one, and he believed they were going to spend their lives together. He reflects on the intense sadness of realizing that they weren’t meant to be, despite the love they shared. The paragraph highlights how difficult it is to part from someone who was such a significant part of his daily life.

10:01

😢 Struggling with Heartbreak

The creator recounts the period just after he and Haley decided to take a break a few days before the official breakup. He shares the immense emotional pain he went through during those days, describing it as worse than any physical pain he has ever felt. The heartbreak left him unable to eat, sleep, or function properly, as it completely consumed him. However, he acknowledges that life goes on, and with the help of his mother, he started to regain some stability and emotional recovery.

👩‍👦 A Mother's Support and Finding Clarity

In this paragraph, the creator credits his mother for being a pillar of support during his lowest moments. She drove up to spend several days with him, helping him through the pain. After a few days, he started to feel better and realized that he didn’t need to rely on someone else to be happy. By the fourth day, he felt ready to make a decision about his future, and although he still felt pain, he gained the clarity he needed to move on. This section emphasizes personal growth and the beginning of emotional recovery.

🚗 The Final Conversation

The creator describes the final conversation he had with Haley after breaking their no-contact agreement. They drove around and talked for about 30 minutes. He mentions being confused and hurt by Haley’s demeanor during the conversation but felt it solidified their decision to end things. Despite the emotions, they both agreed to part ways on good terms. He hopes they can remain friends and continue to have positive interactions with each other’s families.

👨‍👩‍👦 Gratitude Towards Haley's Family

Here, the creator expresses deep gratitude toward Haley's family for welcoming him into their lives as if he were one of their own. He especially mentions her immediate family—her parents, stepdad, and brothers—and hopes to continue maintaining relationships with them. He reflects on the strong bond he developed with Haley's family and shares how much it saddens him to think that those connections might fade now that their relationship has ended.

❤️ Still Caring for Haley

The creator makes it clear that he still cares deeply for Haley, even though they are no longer together romantically. He believes it’s possible to love someone in a non-romantic way and wants the best for her. He expresses hope that they can remain friends and continue to care for one another in a healthy and supportive way. This paragraph conveys his mature perspective on love and relationships.

✋ Requesting Respect and Privacy

The creator asks his audience to respect the privacy of both him and Haley during this difficult time. He mentions that after the initial breakup, some fans left negative comments or sent tweets to Haley, which he strongly discourages. He explains that while they are no longer together, there is no animosity between them, and both still care about each other. He requests that his audience not push for them to get back together or spread negativity.

🏠 A Major Life Change Ahead

In this section, the creator reflects on a significant decision he made to buy a house near Haley while she attended the University of Iowa. Now that they are no longer together, he feels like the house is a major mistake. He plans to sell the property and move back to his hometown in Champaign, Illinois. He is uncertain about his next steps but contemplates moving to LA, Texas, or staying with his mom while figuring things out.

🎥 More Time for YouTube

The creator points out that the breakup will result in him having more time to dedicate to his YouTube channel and creating more content for his fans. While he is sad about the end of his relationship, he tries to find the silver lining by focusing on his work. He reassures his audience that there will be better videos and more consistent uploads in the future.

👊 Moving On and Staying Positive

The creator ends the video on a hopeful note, encouraging his audience to stay positive in the face of hardship. He shares a video recommendation that helped him during his darkest moments and expresses gratitude for the support he’s received from fans. He emphasizes that when one door closes, others open, and reassures his viewers that life goes on. He thanks his fans for their continued support and promises better content in the future.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Breakup

The breakup between the speaker and his girlfriend, Haley, is the central event of the video. It marks the end of their two-year relationship, which the speaker describes as his first serious one. He explains how difficult it has been emotionally, but also reflects on the idea that the breakup might be for the best. This concept underscores the video's theme of emotional hardship and personal growth.

💡Heartbreak

Heartbreak refers to the deep emotional pain the speaker experiences after the breakup. He mentions feeling physically ill and overwhelmed with sadness during the two days after their separation. This highlights the profound impact of emotional relationships and how they can affect both mental and physical well-being. It serves as a key concept to explore the theme of recovery after emotional trauma.

💡Personal Growth

Throughout the video, the speaker reflects on how the breakup has led him to a point of self-realization and growth. He talks about learning to be happy without relying on someone else and building confidence in his own path. This idea of personal growth is key to the overall message of the video, which emphasizes that difficult experiences can lead to positive change and self-discovery.

💡Mutual Decision

The breakup was framed as a mutual decision between the speaker and Haley. Both felt that space and time apart were necessary to figure out what was best for them individually. This concept is crucial because it conveys that sometimes, even though a breakup is painful, it can be a rational choice made in the best interest of both parties. It represents maturity and acceptance of change.

💡Support System

The speaker’s mother plays a pivotal role in his recovery process. After the breakup, she takes time off work to be with him for several days, which helps him begin to feel better. This highlights the importance of having a strong support system during tough times and reflects on the broader theme of how love and care from others can help in healing emotional wounds.

💡Reflection

The speaker engages in a lot of reflection throughout the video, questioning his happiness during the relationship and whether it was as good as he thought it would be. He also reflects on the breakup and the emotional toll it took on him. Reflection is central to the video’s message, as it emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding one’s emotions in the process of moving on.

💡Moving On

Moving on is a key theme, as the speaker acknowledges that life goes on after a breakup. He stresses that while the pain was intense initially, he eventually began to feel better and realized that he could find happiness on his own. Moving on is a central takeaway for the audience, especially those who might be going through similar experiences, and it is a message of hope and resilience.

💡First Serious Relationship

The speaker’s relationship with Haley was his first serious relationship, lasting two years. This concept is significant because it underscores the weight and importance of the relationship in his life, making the breakup more impactful. It also contextualizes his emotional reaction and the difficulty he faces in processing the end of such a formative relationship.

💡No Contact Policy

During the initial stages of their breakup, the speaker and Haley agreed to a 'no contact policy,' meaning they wouldn’t communicate for a period of time. The speaker eventually breaks this agreement to talk to her again. This policy symbolizes the attempt to create space for healing and personal reflection after a breakup, but breaking it shows how emotionally complicated separations can be.

💡Hope for Future Friendship

Despite the breakup, the speaker expresses a desire to remain friends with Haley and her family, whom he grew close to during their relationship. This highlights the idea that relationships don’t always have to end on bad terms and that it’s possible to care for someone even after the romantic aspect is over. This concept reflects the speaker’s emotional maturity and his hope for a positive outcome.

Highlights

This became one of the worst days of my life, breaking up with my girlfriend of two years.

I always believed we were going to be together forever, but things have changed.

We had been having problems for a while, and the breakup was inevitable.

We took a break for a few days, but it only confirmed that we were drifting apart.

The pain of heartbreak was overwhelming, consuming me physically and emotionally.

By the third day, I began to feel better and started accepting that life goes on.

A key turning point was the support I received from my mom, who stayed with me for days.

I realized I could be happy without someone else and should focus on being happy with myself.

Although I still love and care about her, I understand now that we are not meant to be.

We decided to call it quits for good, but we want to remain on good terms and stay friends.

I still have deep admiration for her family, who treated me like one of their own.

I want to be clear: there is no need for negative comments towards her from anyone.

I made a mistake buying a house to be closer to her, and now I need to figure out my next steps.

Despite the heartbreak, I will have more time to focus on creating better content for my viewers.

Life goes on, and there will always be new opportunities ahead, even after a breakup.

Transcripts

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what's going on guys teamart here and

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today I'm bring you guys a quick little

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Vlog because hopefully your day is going

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better than mine is because as about 20

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minutes ago this became one of the worst

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days of my life and it's not something

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that most people would want to share

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with a bunch of others on the internet

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but obviously you guys are a huge part

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of my life my life pretty much revolves

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around you all and I couldn't be more

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thankful for that and uh and I want to

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share with you all I don't want to leave

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you all in the dark and then also I'm

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hoping that some of you guys can learn

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from my mistake and my hardships and

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kind of take something away from this

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and and and you know kind of apply it to

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your own lives if you ever go through

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something like this or if you're going

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through it right now so if you guys

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don't know uh about 20 minutes ago my

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girlfriend and I Haley she's been on

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this channel before you guys have seen

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her we've been dating for about 2 years

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and we decided to call it quits and it's

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like an official quits it's not like one

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of those things where you break up for a

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petty reason and get back together and

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break up and get back together I hate

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people that do that I will never do that

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it's like done done medium well T-bone

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steak done and I don't see it coming

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back anytime in the immediate future

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maybe somewhere you know a couple of

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years down the road if we're you know

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more in the same place in life and more

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on the same page maybe we can rekindle

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something cuz obviously there's

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something there you know obviously

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there's love and passion there but uh as

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of right now I really don't see it and

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it's starting to rain right now like

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isn't that perfect but uh yeah it's uh

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it's tough it really is and honestly

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it's something that I've seen coming for

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a while now like uh for the past couple

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months at times I'd have this little

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voice pop up in the back of my head that

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would say like Trevor are you really

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happy is this as good as it gets you

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know how how can you be sure about this

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and I always told myself like yes I'm

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sure are you kidding me this is my first

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serious relationship like I said we've

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been dating for two years which is a

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long time that's like a tenth of my

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existence on this planet and and I think

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my second longest relationship is about

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two months like I've never had anything

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serious before and and at one point I

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love this girl with all of my you know

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heart mind body and soul and I still do

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we'll talk about that but

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I thought we were going to be together

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forever I thought we were going to do

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the whole like you know High School

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College sweethearts thing and then you

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know move into eventually getting

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married and having kids and growing old

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together I believe that with all my

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heart and to go from feeling that way at

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one point to feeling like I do now is

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awful and you know again like I said I

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saw it coming and I think it's the best

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for the both of us I think we're both

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going to be happier after this but uh

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that doesn't make it hurt any less cuz

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you can't spend 2 years of your life

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with somebody sharing all kinds of

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moments and memories and experiences and

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and you know just kind of taking on life

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together being pretty much Inseparable

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we saw each other every single day and

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you know most of those days uh and you

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can't be happy about that no matter what

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the outcome is whether it's for the good

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or for the bad and it's really starting

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to rain here we're going to have to go

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uh get under this I think but um yeah it

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really sucks man but the thing is is

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life goes on so I'm going to tell you

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guys kind of what happened over the past

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couple of days I'm hoping you guys can

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kind of learn from this uh a couple

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couple of days ago probably 3 or 4 days

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ago we decided to take a break just

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things had kept getting worse and worse

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and worse and worse and we just thought

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you know some time apart would be

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perfect we would be able to find

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ourselves we' be able to be individuals

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for for a few days and just you know

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kind of have some space and figure out

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what's best for us and and it was a

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mutual decision to do this I thought it

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was going to be a good idea I thought it

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was either a going to bring us closer

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together or be going to tell us that

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this wasn't right and you know either

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way we're moving on from this in a

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better place than we once were and and

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uh and so you know at first I thought it

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was a good idea at first I was all down

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for it and then literally like 30

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minutes after our last conversation I

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was just completely devastated

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absolutely devastated and I couldn't do

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anything and it completely consumed me I

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didn't want to eat I constantly had a

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pit in my stomach I I I couldn't sleep

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at night I you know I was getting sick

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like I honestly if it kept going on I

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probably would have given myself some

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stomach ulcers I you know if you guys

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have ever been through a heartbreak I

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hope you haven't I hope you never do but

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I'm sure a lot of you guys will at some

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point in your lives it's literally the

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most painful thing I've ever experienced

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like I've experienced a lot of pain

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before I've broken a lot of Bones I've

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had a lot of burns I've you know had a

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lot of bad things happen to this body

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and that heartache that I experienced

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during those two days was the worst

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thing I've ever experienced in my entire

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life it's just like this this pain that

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comes from deep inside you that consumes

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you that weighs you down and there's

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nothing that you can do about it you

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can't escape it and I'm here to tell you

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guys that it goes away

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life does go on sorry guys this is like

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a Park area and a girl just uh just rode

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up on her bike was asking me all sorts

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of questions I think she thought I was

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crazy walking around talking to a camera

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on a stick but uh life does go on I want

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you guys to know that uh it really truly

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does probably by the third day is when

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things started to change and pick up for

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me and uh a big part of that is cuz of

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my mom like as soon as our our big fight

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and our break happened she left in the

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middle of the night and drove up to Iowa

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uh I got in like 2: a.m. took 2 days off

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work and it spent the last like 4 and

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1/2 days with me supporting me and I I I

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can't tell her how much I appreciate

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that like Mom you have always been there

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for me throughout my entire life and I

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can't ever thank you for all the

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sacrifices you've made for me uh you

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know it's just it's it's crazy thank you

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so much but um yeah but like the third

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day I woke up and the the Depression was

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starting to go away you know the pain

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was starting to subside and I realized

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like as much as I love this girl and as

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much as I care for her and as as many

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good times that we had together and as

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well as we got

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along life's going to go on and I could

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be happy without somebody else you know

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I could be happy with myself I don't

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need to rely on somebody else to be

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happy and I shouldn't let somebody else

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completely destroy me as a person like

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this and and the confidence just kind of

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slowly kept building and building and

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snowballing and uh by the fourth day

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which was this morning I woke up and I

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was like you know what I just want to

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make a decision man like I I I don't

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know if this relationship is right I

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don't know if it's wrong I'll never be

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sure about that but I want a decision to

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be made and I want to move on with my

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life no matter what direction it's going

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to take me right now like I I'm ready to

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do this so uh this afternoon I uh I went

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and I I broke the no contact policy that

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we had and I I you know we kind of drove

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around for like 30 minutes and and we

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talked

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and honestly I will never

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understand what happened I will never

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understand why she felt and acted like

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the way she did and it honestly hurts me

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way worse than anything else that's gone

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on for the past couple of days but it

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just like I don't know it it further

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solidified everything like the the

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conversation that we had and the the way

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that she kind of came into it and was

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during it it just solidified it that you

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know if you're going to act like that in

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a situation like this obviously this

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isn't right you know obviously I don't

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need that in my life and obviously this

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is more broken than I thought it was so

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uh we decided to call it and uh I think

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for the most part we're on good terms

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like obviously it was very emotional and

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obviously it's it's going to take a

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couple of days to calm down but you know

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even before this like when we when we

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first started the break we said that you

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know at the end of this no matter what

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happens we still want to be able to see

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each other we still want to be able to

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be friends and and I think we're going

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to be able to do that you know I think

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we're going to end it on good terms here

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uh I still want to be able to see her

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family that's like really important to

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me her family is absolutely amazing her

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immediate family you know Mom Dad

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stepdad her two little brothers that I

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got really close to like they are all

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absolutely wonderful people and I can't

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thank you guys enough for everything

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that you've done to me they literally

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took me in and treated me like one of

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their own from the very very start even

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when we first started dating and and I I

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will never never be able to repay them

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for that and even her extended family

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like you know Aunts Uncles grandparents

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that sort of thing like they were all

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the same way like they all took me in

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like I was one of the kin like I i' had

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always been related to them and it's uh

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it really breaks my heart to see

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something like that go and I I hope that

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I can still see a lot of you guys if any

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of you happen to be watching this I hope

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I can still still see you guys uh from

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time to time and Haley if you're

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watching this like I I still love you I

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I really do you can love somebody in a

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non-romantic way there's a lot of ways

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to love somebody guys and I I still love

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this girl I still care care for even if

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we weren't the best for each other I

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still want the best for her and I still

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want to be able to see her and I still

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care about her as a person I still like

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her as a person so uh you know it's okay

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you know it's it sometimes things just

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aren't right and and it's going to be

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okay as I said life goes on so uh yeah

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everything's going to be okay guys uh

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one thing I do ask you is that you kind

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of like respect the Privacy like I

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understand that some of it comes with

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the territory of uh of broadcasting My

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Life on YouTube and you know kind of

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putting this relationship in the public

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with all you guys and things but just

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like when we first took the break I saw

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some of you guys leave some mean uh

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comments and tweets to her and and

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please don't do that you know don't

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attack her none of this is malicious

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none of this is mean like we we're still

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going to be able to be kosher with each

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other we're still going to be able to be

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in each other's lives and we want the

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best for each other so please don't do

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things like that then also you know

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please try not to you know send tweets

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and say like oh my gosh you guys have to

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get back together you know things like

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that like I've seen a lot of those just

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in the past like 20 minutes 30 minutes

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and uh and it's just you know that stuff

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hurts you don't want to constantly be

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reminded of that I remember when Tom and

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Kate broke up like YouTube and Twitter

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and Instagram were just a blaze and I

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just you know that's why I wanted to

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make this video is I wanted to to let

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you guys know exactly what happened and

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and you know lay it all out there and

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and so there's no there's no confusion

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there's no questions and and you know we

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all can kind of move on from this and

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who knows maybe maybe a month down the

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line Haley and I can hop on a commentary

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and talk about things and you know I

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don't know we'll see but uh yeah life's

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going to go on man it's going to be okay

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when one door closes 10 more of them

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open every single time guys so if you

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ever go through something like this I

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promise it's going to get better and

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it's going to be better for you you

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didn't need that girl anyway she wasn't

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enough for you you know the reason why

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you guys didn't work out is because

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there's somebody better out there for

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you that's exactly the way you need to

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look at it and uh honestly I don't know

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what I'm going to do at this point it's

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tough cuz as you guys know like four

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months ago I bought a house out here in

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Iowa to be with her she uh she started

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school this past year the University of

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Iowa and I got an apartment out here for

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like 6 months so I could be closer to

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her and then uh things were going so

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well I was like you know what I'm going

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to buy a house it makes more kind of

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like Financial sense for me cuz an

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apartment is pretty much just throwing

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your money away you aren't getting any

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Equity anything so I bought a house and

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and now I have a house in a place that I

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have no reason to be anymore so that's

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like whoa big mistake and and I'm

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definitely going to learn from that one

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and and I'll have to you know sell the

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house I'm going to move back home to

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Champagne Illinois for a couple of

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months I'll probably stay with my mom

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and and I'll figure out what I want to

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do you know I make it a place there I

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make it a place out in La I make it a

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place uh with a couple of buddies in

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Texas uh but uh we'll we'll see what

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happens you know I will let you guys

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know but at the end of the day it's

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going to be okay and honestly if

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anything this means more time for you

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guys more time for videos more videos

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better videos things like that you know

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you guys uh will obviously be happy with

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that you know I'm going to have more

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time to dedicate to YouTube and stuff

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because half my time isn't being taken

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up by a girl anymore so it's um it sucks

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man but life does go on and it's going

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to be okay like I said I think it's the

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better thing for the both of us and uh

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and I just want let you guys know that

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you know if you ever go through anything

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like this if you're going through

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something like this I'm sure a lot of

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you guys uh are or

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will it does get better and uh life goes

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on so uh I'm going to link a video down

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in the description my mom showed me this

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video when I was in like my deepest

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darkest space like right after we took

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the break right when I was completely

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just trashed and devastated and and the

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video really kind of helped me put

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things into perspective and really just

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I could relate to it and it was some

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really good advice it's like

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relationship advice from Media or

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something like that it's a TV show I've

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never seen a TV show but it was uh it

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was a good video and it it helped me

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pull me out of that space so uh

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hopefully some of you guys if you ever

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go through something like this you know

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remember that go check it out and and

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it'll help you guys out too because it

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definitely helped me out but yeah thank

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you guys so much I I really do

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appreciate it like even just in the past

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20 30 minutes like I've had so many

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tweets are like dude keep your head up

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like you are the man everything's going

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to be okay everything happens for a

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reason like you're going to be able to

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work this out it's it's it's going to be

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okay life's going to go on and and I

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can't tell you guys how lucky I am that

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I literally have hundreds of thousands

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of people that have my back and

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something like this and just have my

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back in life in general and I can't tell

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you guys how much that means to me so

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thank you guys from the bottom of my

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heart uh we're going to get through this

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team teamart gets through everything

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Haley I still love you I still care

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about you and I still want what's best

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for you and I I hope that we can uh we

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can be friends and and I hope that it's

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not like friends where we're like oh

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yeah we're friends we're okay with each

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other but we never see each other like I

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hope I can still see you from time to

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time cuz I do still care about you and

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your family and and the whole package so

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yeah thank you guys so much for watching

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I will catch you guys later uh buch

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great videos coming soon uh it I don't

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know like I'm going to try to keep up

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with everything over the next few days

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and next week uh in terms of like a

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video every day on this channel and four

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videos five videos a day on team Mar 2

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but we'll see if that works out because

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I'm just I really have to figure out

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what's going on in life right now so

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give me a little bit of a transition

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period guys but I'm going to try my best

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to be on top of everything for you all

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so I'll catch you guys later thank you

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guys so much for watching

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spins the win peace out guys

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