How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful: The Harvard Business Review Guide

Summary

This video provides strategies for constructively and confidently disagreeing with authority figures, such as bosses or clients. It advises starting with a risk assessment, weighing the consequences of speaking up versus staying silent. Key tips include timing your disagreement, gathering support, and choosing a private setting. The video also emphasizes maintaining calm, staying neutral, using facts, and finding common ground to achieve shared goals. By being respectful yet firm, and acknowledging the authority figure’s decision-making power, you can express your opinions effectively while fostering open dialogue.

Takeaways

• 💼 It's important to assess the risks of not speaking up as well as the risks of speaking up, especially when disagreeing with someone more powerful.
• 🤔 Consider what opportunities or issues could arise if you don’t voice your disagreement.
• ⏳ Decide when and where to speak up, potentially waiting to gather facts, support, or a better environment for the conversation.
• 🤝 Establish a process for disagreements ahead of time, so there’s a clear way to share differing opinions constructively.
• 🧠 When expressing disagreement, restate the original idea to ensure the conversation stays focused on your ideas rather than misunderstandings.
• 👍 Ask permission to voice your disagreement, which helps your superior feel in control and makes the conversation less confrontational.
• 🎯 Connect your disagreement to a shared goal or objective that both you and the authority figure care about.
• 😌 Stay calm and project confidence, using slow and deliberate speech to maintain a neutral and respectful tone.
• 🗣️ Avoid using loaded or judgmental adjectives to keep the discussion focused on solving the problem rather than on people.
• 👏 Acknowledge the authority of the other person in making the final decision while confidently stating your opinion.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of the video script?

The main purpose of the video script is to provide advice on how to disagree constructively and confidently with someone more powerful, such as a boss or an authority figure, in a professional setting.

Why is it important to assess the risks of speaking up before disagreeing with someone in authority?

Assessing the risks is important because it helps you weigh the potential consequences of speaking up versus staying silent. This helps you decide whether raising your disagreement is worth it, especially if there might be negative repercussions.

What does communication expert Joseph Granny suggest about focusing on risks?

Joseph Granny suggests that instead of only focusing on the risks of speaking up, you should also consider the risks of not saying something, such as missed opportunities or potential negative outcomes if the issue is not addressed.

When might it be appropriate not to voice your disagreement with a superior?

It might be appropriate not to voice your disagreement if the authority figure is known to be vindictive, or if your workplace has a history of punishing people for speaking their minds. In such cases, the risks of speaking up might outweigh the benefits.

How can waiting before expressing your disagreement be beneficial?

Waiting before expressing your disagreement can be beneficial as it allows you time to research facts, understand the full picture, gather support from colleagues, and find the right environment or timing to have the conversation, which strengthens your case.

Why is it recommended to establish a disagreement process ahead of time with a superior?

Establishing a disagreement process ahead of time helps create an understanding of how disagreements should be handled. It provides a clear path for sharing differing opinions in the future and makes the superior more receptive since they have already agreed to the process.

What is the significance of restating the original idea or proposal before expressing disagreement?

Restating the original idea ensures that the conversation focuses on your disagreement rather than a misunderstanding of the initial proposal. It demonstrates that you have carefully listened and understood the original point before presenting your opinion.

How should you connect your disagreement to a shared goal?

You should connect your disagreement to a shared goal by aligning your opinion with something both you and the authority figure care about, such as the company's success, team morale, or an organizational objective. This approach keeps the discussion focused on mutual interests.

What strategies can help maintain a calm and confident demeanor when presenting your disagreement?

To maintain a calm and confident demeanor, breathe deeply, speak slowly and deliberately, stay composed, and project neutrality. This helps convey confidence and reduces the chance of escalating tension during the conversation.

Why is it important to avoid using loaded adjectives when disagreeing with a superior?

Avoiding loaded adjectives is important because they can come across as judgmental or confrontational, making the superior feel defensive. Sticking to factual language ensures that the focus remains on solving the problem rather than attacking the individual.