The Dangerous Games of the Covert Narcissist #narcissist #npd #personalitydisorder

Summary

This video unmasks the covert narcissist's manipulative tactics, revealing how they use a facade of innocence, feigned compassion, and intellectual superiority to exploit others. It also discusses triangulation, the 'poor me' game, false humility, gaslighting, silent treatment, emotional withholding, and exploiting insecurities. The video serves as a guide to recognize these behaviors and protect oneself from such toxic relationships.

Takeaways

• 😷 Covert narcissists are subtle and wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood to hide their manipulative behaviors.
• 🥺 They often play the victim to gain sympathy and make others feel responsible for their emotional well-being.
• 🤔 Feigning compassion, they pretend to be empathetic but their actions are driven by a need for admiration, not genuine concern.
• 🧠 They present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others to assert dominance and maintain control.
• 🗣️ Triangulation is used to create discord and competition among people in their lives by spreading gossip or half-truths.
• 😢 The 'poor me' tactic is employed to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and to gain narcissistic supply.
• 🙅‍♂️ False humility and superiority are used to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.
• 💬 Gaslighting is used to distort reality and make victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings.
• 😐 The silent treatment and passive aggression are tactics used to control and punish, creating anxiety and distress in the victim.
• 🤝 Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where love, affection, and support are withheld to create a sense of longing and dependency.
• 🕵️‍♂️ They exploit the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence and keep them dependent on the narcissist for validation.

Q & A

What is a covert narcissist?

A covert narcissist is a type of narcissistic personality that is more subtle and harder to detect compared to overt narcissists. They wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood, making their manipulative behaviors difficult to spot until significant damage is done.

What is the facade of innocence?

The facade of innocence is a deceptive aspect of a covert narcissist where they present themselves as gentle, caring, and self-sacrificing to manipulate others and gain sympathy.

How do covert narcissists use victimhood to their advantage?

Covert narcissists often play the victim, making others feel responsible for their emotional well-being. They may share stories about past traumas to position themselves as fragile and in need of care, which can disarm targets and make them overlook the narcissist's manipulative behavior.

What is the difference between feigned compassion and true empathy?

Feigned compassion is when covert narcissists pretend to be empathetic and compassionate when it suits their agenda, often in public or when others are watching. True empathy, however, is consistent and not limited to moments where it can be witnessed by others.

How do covert narcissists use intellectual superiority to manipulate others?

Covert narcissists may present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others' intelligence or ideas. They might use complex language or obscure references to make others feel inadequate, asserting dominance and maintaining control in relationships.

What is triangulation and how is it used by covert narcissists?

Triangulation is a tactic used by covert narcissists to create discord and competition among people in their lives. They pit one person against another by spreading gossip or half-truths to create mistrust and rivalry, allowing them to maintain control and power.

What is the 'poor me' game and how does it relate to narcissistic supply?

The 'poor me' game is when covert narcissists exaggerate their struggles and vulnerabilities to paint themselves as helpless victims. This is a way to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them, which provides a premium narcissistic supply.

How does false humility manifest in covert narcissists?

False humility in covert narcissists is when they downplay their achievements or feign modesty while seeking validation and admiration from others. This subtle form of superiority is designed to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.

What is gaslighting and how do covert narcissists use it?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where covert narcissists distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings. This can erode the victim's self-confidence and sense of reality, leaving them dependent on the narcissist for validation.

How do covert narcissists use silent treatment and passive aggression?

Covert narcissists use passive aggressive tactics like the silent treatment to control and punish their victims. Instead of openly expressing displeasure or anger, they withdraw affection or communication, causing the target to feel anxious and distressed, and desperate to figure out what's wrong.

What is emotional withholding and why do covert narcissists use it?

Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where covert narcissists withhold love, affection, approval, or emotional support to punish or control their victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, they keep their target in a state of longing and uncertainty, making them more dependent on the narcissist for emotional fulfillment.

How do covert narcissists exploit insecurities?

Covert narcissists are skilled at identifying and exploiting the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence. They may bring up past failures or vulnerabilities at opportune moments to keep their victim feeling inadequate and dependent on the narcissist for validation.