Does NO Contact work when Your EX is in a New Relationship

Summary

In this video, Coach Black addresses the common concern of whether no contact works when an ex starts dating someone new. He explains that the key is to focus on self-improvement and not to panic over the new relationship. Coach Black emphasizes the importance of not reinforcing the perceived value difference that led to the breakup. He advises viewers to avoid contact with their ex to increase their own value and let the new relationship naturally run its course. He predicts that most rebounds will falter within three to six months, and when they do, the ex may reach out. Coach Black stresses the importance of maintaining high standards and only engaging if it's genuinely worth it.

Takeaways

• 😢 No contact is crucial when your ex is dating someone new to avoid reinforcing a perceived value difference.
• 🔍 The underlying cause of breakups often lies in a perceived mismatch of value between partners.
• 🚫 Desperate behaviors like constant calling or begging after a breakup can lower your perceived value.
• 💡 To increase your value, focus on self-improvement in areas like fitness, career, and finances.
• 🌟 High-value individuals do not chase or beg for attention from those who are not interested.
• 📉 The initial excitement in a rebound relationship typically fades within three to six months.
• 🤔 Your ex may reach out during their new relationship's struggles, possibly due to unresolved issues from your past relationship.
• 🆚 At around three to six months, ex-partners often compare their new relationship's lows with the past relationship's highs.
• ❌ If your ex contacts you while in a new relationship, maintain your value by pushing them away.
• 🔄 Rebound relationships often fail due to lack of healing and reflection post-breakup, making the original partner more appealing.
• 📋 When your ex's new relationship ends, assess them honestly to determine if they are a good match for you.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video?

The main topic is whether no contact will work if your ex is dating someone new.

Why do people often fear when their ex starts dating someone new?

People fear because they worry that their ex will move on forever and fall in love with a new person who can provide everything they once promised.

What is the underlying issue in a breakup according to Coach Black?

The underlying issue in a breakup is usually a mismatch in perceived value, where one person feels they are more attractive and valuable than the other.

How does Coach Black suggest improving one's value after a breakup?

Coach Black suggests improving one's value by focusing on self-improvement in areas like fitness, career, and finances, and by not engaging in behaviors that reinforce a lower value.

What is the typical duration of the initial excitement phase in a new relationship?

The initial excitement phase in a new relationship typically lasts around three to six months.

Why does Coach Black advise against interfering with an ex's new relationship?

Interfering can push the ex closer to their new partner, creating a mutual enemy that they must fight against.

What happens around the three to six month mark in a rebound relationship?

At this stage, the excitement wears off, issues start to arise, and the ex may begin to compare the new partner unfavorably to their past relationship.

Why might an ex reach out during their new relationship?

An ex might reach out because their new relationship is not going well, and they are testing the waters to see if the previous partner is still an option.

What should one do if their ex reaches out while they are in a new relationship?

One should push the ex away and maintain a high-value stance, not engaging with someone who is in a relationship or talking to other people.

How does Coach Black recommend assessing the situation when an ex reaches out after their new relationship ends?

Coach Black recommends honestly assessing whether the ex is a good enough match, considering both the ex's actions and one's own desires.

What is the significance of the 'no contact' rule according to the video?

The 'no contact' rule is significant because it allows one's value to grow in the ex's eyes, and it gives space for the ex's new relationship to naturally fail without interference.