The secret to giving great feedback | The Way We Work, a TED series

Summary

The script from 'The Way We Work' discusses the importance of effective feedback in the workplace. Despite its long history, only 26% of employees find the feedback they receive helpful. The speaker introduces a four-part formula for giving feedback that is both constructive and well-received: starting with a 'micro-yes' question, providing specific data points, detailing the impact, and ending with a question to engage the recipient. This approach helps avoid defensiveness and promotes a collaborative problem-solving environment.

Takeaways

• 🛠️ The most essential tool in modern work is the ability to give and receive feedback effectively.
• 🗣️ Despite centuries of discussion, people are still not adept at providing feedback; only 26% of employees feel that feedback improves their work.
• 🧠 The way feedback is commonly given is not 'brain-friendly', often being too indirect or too direct, triggering defensiveness.
• 👁️ The amygdala, a part of the brain, constantly scans for social threats in messages, which can lead to defensive reactions.
• 🔑 There is a four-part formula for delivering effective feedback: micro-yes, data point, impact statement, and a concluding question.
• 🙋‍♂️ 'Micro-yes' is a short, important question that prepares the recipient for feedback and creates a moment of buy-in.
• 📊 Data points in feedback should be specific and objective, avoiding 'blur words' that can be interpreted differently.
• 💥 The impact statement clarifies how the specific behavior affected the giver, providing context and purpose to the feedback.
• 🤝 Ending feedback with a question promotes a dialogue and joint problem-solving rather than dictating compliance.
• 🔄 Great feedback givers not only deliver messages well but also actively seek feedback, fostering a culture of continuous learning.

Q & A

What is considered the most essential tool in the modern workplace according to the transcript?

The most essential tool in the modern workplace is the ability to give and receive feedback well.

What percentage of employees strongly agree that the feedback they receive improves their work, according to a Gallup survey mentioned in the transcript?

Only 26 percent of employees strongly agree that the feedback they receive improves their work.

What are the two common approaches to giving feedback that the transcript identifies as ineffective?

The two common ineffective approaches to giving feedback are being very indirect and soft, and being too direct, which can lead to defensiveness.

What part of the brain is responsible for detecting social threats and can cause defensiveness when feedback is perceived as threatening?

The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for detecting social threats and can cause defensiveness when feedback is perceived as threatening.

What is a 'micro-yes' and how does it function in the feedback process as described in the transcript?

A 'micro-yes' is a short but important question asked at the beginning of feedback to let the recipient know that feedback is coming and to create a moment of buy-in.

Why is it important to use specific data points instead of 'blur words' when giving feedback?

Using specific data points instead of 'blur words' is important because it provides clarity and objectivity, helping the recipient understand exactly what behavior or action is being referred to.

How does the impact statement function in the four-part feedback formula?

The impact statement in the feedback formula specifies how the specific data point affected the giver, providing a sense of purpose and logic to the feedback.

What is the purpose of ending feedback with a question, as suggested by the transcript?

Ending feedback with a question encourages a dialogue and joint problem-solving, creating commitment rather than just compliance.

Why should leaders actively ask for feedback, according to the transcript?

Leaders should actively ask for feedback to establish themselves as continual learners, demonstrate openness to improvement, and put the power of development in their own hands.

How does the four-part feedback formula help in making difficult conversations easier?

The four-part feedback formula helps in making difficult conversations easier by providing a structured approach that includes preparation, specificity, clarity of impact, and engagement, which reduces defensiveness and promotes understanding.

Outlines

00:00

📚 The Importance of Feedback in Modern Work

The paragraph discusses the necessity of feedback in the contemporary workplace, drawing a parallel to traditional tools of trades like carpentry and dentistry. It highlights the historical significance of feedback, dating back to Confucius in 500 BC, and acknowledges the current inadequacy in delivering effective feedback, as evidenced by a Gallup survey showing only 26% of employees find the feedback they receive helpful. The speaker introduces the concept of the amygdala's role in perceiving social threats from feedback, which can lead to defensiveness and a breakdown in communication. To counter this, the speaker and their team have developed a four-part formula for effective feedback, which they have observed in excellent feedback givers across various companies.

Keywords

💡Feedback

Feedback refers to the responses or reactions given to someone regarding their performance, behavior, or ideas. In the context of the video, feedback is central to improving work and communication. It's highlighted as a tool that, when given effectively, can significantly enhance performance and relationships. The video emphasizes the need for well-executed feedback, as only a small percentage of employees find the feedback they receive to be genuinely helpful.

💡Amygdala

The amygdala is an almond-shaped part of the brain that plays a key role in processing emotions, particularly those related to fear and aggression. In the video, it is mentioned as the part of the brain that scans for social threats, which can trigger defensiveness when feedback is perceived as negative. Understanding the amygdala's role helps explain why certain types of feedback can be counterproductive.

💡Micro-yes

A micro-yes is a short but important question asked at the beginning of giving feedback, designed to prepare the recipient for what is coming and to gain their initial agreement or 'yes' to proceed. The video uses the micro-yes as the first part of the feedback formula, illustrating how it sets the stage for effective communication by creating a moment of buy-in and pacing the delivery of feedback.

💡Data point

A data point, in the context of the video, refers to a specific, objective observation or fact related to the feedback being given. The video stresses the importance of using data points to avoid ambiguity and to ensure that feedback is clear and actionable. For example, instead of saying 'You aren't reliable,' a data point would be, 'You said you'd get that email to me by 11, and I still don't have it yet.'

💡Blur words

Blur words are terms that are vague and can be interpreted differently by different people, leading to confusion or miscommunication. The video advises against using blur words in feedback, as they lack specificity and can result in the recipient not understanding what exactly needs to change. Converting blur words into data points is presented as a best practice for clear feedback.

💡Impact statement

An impact statement is a part of the feedback process where the giver explains how the behavior or issue at hand affected them or the situation. The video describes it as a crucial component of the feedback formula that helps the recipient understand the consequences of their actions. It provides a sense of purpose and logic, making the feedback more meaningful and easier to relate to.

💡Defensiveness

Defensiveness is a psychological state where a person reacts protectively to perceived criticism or threat. In the video, it is discussed as a common reaction to poorly given feedback, which can lead to a breakdown in communication. Understanding and managing defensiveness is key to providing feedback that is received and utilized effectively.

💡Brain-friendly

Brain-friendly feedback refers to the way feedback is given in a manner that is easily processed and understood by the brain, avoiding triggers for defensiveness. The video discusses how most people's feedback styles are not brain-friendly, either being too indirect or too direct, and suggests strategies for giving feedback that is more likely to be well-received.

💡Formula

In the video, a formula refers to the structured approach to giving feedback effectively. The four-part formula outlined includes the micro-yes, data point, impact statement, and a closing question. The formula is presented as a tool to ensure that feedback is clear, specific, and impactful, facilitating better communication and understanding.

💡Commitment

Commitment, in the context of the video, refers to the sense of involvement and willingness to engage with the feedback process. The video suggests that wrapping feedback with a question can lead to commitment rather than mere compliance, turning a one-sided conversation into a collaborative problem-solving discussion.

💡Pulling feedback

Pulling feedback is the act of actively seeking feedback from others, as opposed to passively waiting for it to be given (push feedback). The video encourages pulling feedback as it positions the individual as a continual learner and places the control of the feedback process in their hands, which is beneficial for personal and professional growth.

Highlights

The importance of feedback in the modern workplace is emphasized, comparing it to essential tools for other professions.

Feedback is a centuries-old concept, with Confucius discussing its importance in 500 BC.

Only 26% of employees strongly agree that the feedback they receive improves their work, according to a Gallup survey.

People often give feedback in ways that are not brain-friendly, leading to ineffective communication.

The amygdala in the brain plays a role in detecting social threats, which can trigger defensiveness during feedback.

A four-part formula for effective feedback is introduced, based on research and observation.

The first part of the formula is the 'micro-yes', a short question to prepare the recipient for feedback.

The 'micro-yes' serves as a pacing tool and creates a moment of buy-in for the recipient.

The second part involves providing a specific data point, avoiding subjective 'blur words'.

Great feedback givers convert 'blur words' into concrete data points for clarity.

Specificity in feedback is crucial for both positive and negative messages to guide behavior effectively.

The third part of the formula is the impact statement, which explains how the data point affected the giver.

An impact statement provides a sense of purpose and logic, which the brain craves.

The fourth part of the feedback formula is ending with a question to promote engagement and problem-solving.

Great feedback givers also actively ask for feedback, establishing themselves as continual learners.

Pulling feedback is more effective than waiting for it to be given, as it puts the power in the recipient's hands.

The four-part formula can be adapted for any difficult conversation, making feedback giving less challenging.

Transcripts

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

If you look at a carpenter, they have a toolbox;

a dentist, they have their drills.

In our era and the type of work most of us are doing,

the tool we most need is actually centered

around being able to give and receive feedback well.

[The Way We Work]

Humans have been talking about feedback for centuries.

In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC,

talked about how important it is to be able to say difficult messages well.

But to be honest, we're still pretty bad at it.

In fact, a recent Gallup survey found

that only 26 percent of employees strongly agree

that the feedback they get actually improves their work.

Those numbers are pretty dismal.

So what's going on?

The way that most people give their feedback

actually isn't brain-friendly.

People fall into one of two camps.

Either they're of the camp that is very indirect and soft

and the brain doesn't even recognize that feedback is being given

or it's just simply confused,

or they fall into the other camp of being too direct,

and with that, it tips the other person into the land of being defensive.

There's this part of the brain called the amygdala,

and it's scanning at all times to figure out

whether the message has a social threat attached to it.

With that, we'll move forward to defensiveness,

we'll move backwards in retreat,

and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to disregulate as well.

They add more ums and ahs and justifications,

and the whole thing gets wonky really fast.

It doesn't have to be this way.

I and my team have spent many years going into different companies

and asking who here is a great feedback giver.

Anybody who's named again and again,

we actually bring into our labs to see what they're doing differently.

And what we find is that there's a four-part formula

that you can use to say any difficult message well.

OK, are you ready for it? Here we go.

The first part of the formula is what we call the micro-yes.

Great feedback givers begin their feedback

by asking a question that is short but important.

It lets the brain know that feedback is actually coming.

It would be something, for example, like,

"Do you have five minutes to talk about how that last conversation went"

or "I have some ideas for how we can improve things.

Can I share them with you?"

This micro-yes question does two things for you.

First of all, it's going to be a pacing tool.

It lets the other person know that feedback is about to be given.

And the second thing it does is it creates a moment of buy-in.

I can say yes or no to that yes or no question.

And with that, I get a feeling of autonomy.

The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point.

Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard,

and cut out any words that aren't objective.

There's a concept we call blur words.

A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people.

Blur words are not specific.

So for example, if I say "You shouldn't be so defensive"

or "You could be more proactive."

What we see great feedback givers doing differently

is they'll convert their blur words into actual data points.

So for example, instead of saying,

"You aren't reliable,"

we would say, "You said you'd get that email to me by 11,

and I still don't have it yet."

Specificity is also important when it comes to positive feedback,

and the reason for that is that we want to be able to specify exactly

what we want the other person to increase or diminish.

And if we stick with blur words,

they actually won't have any clue particularly

what to do going forward to keep repeating that behavior.

The third part of the feedback formula is the impact statement.

Here, you name exactly how that data point impacted you.

So, for example, I might say, "Because I didn't get the message,

I was blocked on my work and couldn't move forward"

or "I really liked how you added those stories,

because it helped me grasp the concepts faster."

It gives you a sense of purpose

and meaning and logic between the points,

which is something the brain really craves.

The fourth part of the feedback formula is a question.

Great feedback givers wrap their feedback message with a question.

They'll ask something like,

"Well, how do you see it?"

Or "This is what I'm thinking we should do,

but what are your thoughts on it?"

What it does is it creates commitment rather than just compliance.

It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue,

but rather becomes a joint problem-solving situation.

But there's one last thing.

Great feedback givers not only can say messages well,

but also, they ask for feedback regularly.

In fact, our research on perceived leadership

shows that you shouldn't wait for feedback to be given to you --

what we call push feedback --

but rather, you should actively ask for feedback,

what we call pulling feedback.

Pulling feedback establishes you as a continual learner

and puts the power in your hands.

The most challenging situations

are actually the ones that call for the most skillful feedback.

But it doesn't have to be hard.

Now that you know this four-part formula,

you can mix and match it to make it work for any difficult conversation.