Jon Stewart Tackles Harris & Trump's Debate and What This Means for the Election | The Daily Show

Summary

In this satirical take on the second presidential debate, Jon Stewart humorously comments on the tight race between candidates, while poking fun at both parties and the chaotic nature of political theater. He highlights absurd claims, digs into Trump’s erratic responses, and takes jabs at Dick Cheney and Donald Trump’s rallies. Stewart points out the lack of accountability in modern politics and emphasizes Trump’s constant deflection of blame. Throughout, he uses humor to address serious issues like abortion, immigration, and the January 6th Capitol riots, keeping the audience laughing while making sharp political commentary.

Takeaways

• 😀 Jon Stewart humorously introduces the second presidential debate, emphasizing the high stakes and the tension of the event.
• 🗳️ The debate is described as a 'dead heat' with candidates separated by razor-thin margins, indicating a very close race.
• 🤝 The candidates, Biden and Trump, do not greet each other, and Kamala Harris makes an awkward attempt at a handshake, highlighting the tension.
• 💰 Kamala Harris proposes an 'opportunity economy' with plans for tax deductions for small businesses and tax cuts for families.
• 🏦 The discussion on the economy quickly devolves into a series of non-sequiturs and baseless claims, reflecting the chaotic nature of the debate.
• 🚫 Donald Trump deflects responsibility for the January 6th Capitol insurrection, blaming others and denying his role, a common theme in his responses.
• 🤔 The debate touches on immigration, with Trump making inflammatory and unverified claims about immigrants, which are fact-checked and disputed.
• 🙅‍♀️ Kamala Harris passionately defends abortion rights, countering Trump's policies and highlighting the human impact of restrictive legislation.
• 🎤 Jon Stewart provides commentary throughout, often using satire to critique the candidates' statements and the overall state of the political discourse.
• 🤮 Stewart's repeated expressions of disgust and disbelief, including simulated vomiting, underscore the absurdity and frustration with the political situation.

Q & A

What is the setting of the comedy skit presented in the transcript?

The setting is a satirical take on a presidential debate, hosted by a character named Jon Stewart, who humorously discusses the election in a fictional country called PaMiNevMiAzGaNc.

How does the host, Jon Stewart, describe the level of competition in the presidential race?

Jon Stewart describes the presidential race as extremely close, using various metaphors such as 'a dead heat,' 'neck and neck,' 'a coin flip,' and 'as tight as a tick' to emphasize the tightness of the race.

What unexpected endorsements does Donald Trump receive in the skit?

In the skit, Donald Trump receives unexpected support from former Democrats RFK Jr., Tulsi Gabbard, and humorously, a former lawyer of Jeffrey Epstein.

What is the humorous reaction of Jon Stewart to Dick Cheney's endorsement of Vice President Harris?

Jon Stewart reacts to Dick Cheney's endorsement with exaggerated disgust, pretending to vomit and telling Cheney to 'fuck off,' highlighting the controversial nature of Cheney's endorsement.

What are the contrasting strategies for Kamala Harris and Donald Trump as portrayed in the debate?

Kamala Harris is portrayed as having a detailed strategy to discuss her backstory and policy stances while trying to provoke Trump without losing her composure. Donald Trump, on the other hand, is advised to respond with facial expressions rather than engaging verbally to avoid lashing out.

How does the skit satirize the candidates' handling of questions about the economy?

The skit satirizes the candidates' handling of economic questions by having them avoid direct answers and instead make grandiose promises, such as a $50,000 tax deduction for small businesses and a $6,000 tax cut for families.

What is the humorous way Jon Stewart addresses the issue of immigration in the debate?

Jon Stewart humorously addresses immigration by having Donald Trump claim that immigrants are eating people's pets in Springfield, which is later debunked by a news report, adding a layer of absurdity to the discussion.

How does Kamala Harris respond to accusations of being a Marxist in the debate?

Kamala Harris is shown to refute the accusation of being a Marxist by highlighting the real issues faced by women, such as those suffering from miscarriages being denied care due to legal fears.

What is the satirical take on the handling of the January 6th Capitol insurrection in the debate?

The debate satirically handles the January 6th Capitol insurrection by having Trump deflect responsibility, claiming he was just there to give a speech, while Jon Stewart criticizes his lack of accountability and leadership.

What is the final message Jon Stewart conveys about the nature of political accountability in the skit?

Jon Stewart concludes the skit by criticizing the lack of accountability in politics, particularly targeting the former president's tendency to evade responsibility, likening it to the behavior of a captain abandoning ship during a crisis.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Introduction to The Daily Show and Presidential Debate Satire

The segment opens with Jon Stewart introducing The Daily Show and humorously addressing the second presidential debate. He playfully suggests that it's technically the first debate of the match-up and sets a satirical tone by referring to the stakes of the election in a fictional country, PaMiNevMiAzGaNc, while poking fun at the neighboring country of NoOneGivesAShitistan. The humor continues with a series of analogies comparing the tightness of the election race to various situations, including a jump ball race and a too tight bathing suit, culminating in a joke about a teenage boy's pants during a Sydney Sweeney film festival. The segment also touches on the unexpected support Donald Trump receives from former Democrats and ends with a joke about Dick Cheney's endorsement of Vice President Harris, which is met with mock disgust by Jon Stewart.

05:02

😅 Debate Strategies and Economic Discussion

This paragraph delves into the strategies of the candidates leading up to the debate, with Kamala Harris aiming to share her backstory and policy stances while provoking Donald Trump without losing her composure. Conversely, Trump is advised to respond with facial expressions rather than words. The actual debate begins with a question about the economy, to which Harris outlines her plans for an 'opportunity economy' with tax deductions for small businesses and tax cuts for families. Trump, however, diverts the conversation to immigration, claiming that dangerous individuals are pouring into the country. The segment satirically critiques the tendency of politicians to avoid answering questions directly and the use of baseless accusations, as seen when Trump labels Harris a Marxist.

10:03

😓 Abortion Policy and Immigration Rhetoric

The focus shifts to the issue of abortion, where Kamala Harris passionately addresses the impact of abortion restrictions on pregnant women, including those suffering from miscarriages. She challenges the audience to consider the real-life consequences of such policies. Trump's response is to deflect, comparing the situation to the termination of student loans, which he claims was a catastrophe. The paragraph also includes a comedic interlude where Jon Stewart invites viewers to a Trump rally, highlighting the exhaustion and boredom that lead people to leave early. The discussion returns to immigration, with Trump making inflammatory claims about immigrants eating pets in Springfield, which is humorously refuted by the show's fact-checking and a satirical video clip.

15:06

😠 Accountability and the January 6th Capitol Insurrection

The final paragraph confronts the former president about his role in the January 6th Capitol insurrection, with the questioner asking if he regrets his actions. Trump denies responsibility, blaming others and claiming he was merely there to give a speech. Jon Stewart criticizes Trump's lack of accountability, likening him to a captain abandoning ship, and mocks his tendency to evade responsibility when faced with consequences. The segment ends with a humorous yet scathing critique of Trump's character, suggesting that his behavior would be disqualifying in any other context, but in the current political climate, it only tightens the race.

Keywords

💡presidential debate

A presidential debate refers to a live event where candidates running for the office of the president engage in a formal discussion of their views and policies. In the script, the presidential debate is central to the satire, with the host, Jon Stewart, humorously discussing the stakes and the candidates' strategies, highlighting the absurdity and tension of the event.

💡PaMiNevMiAzGaNc

This term appears to be a fictional country or state created for comedic effect, suggesting a place of high stakes where the presidential election is taking place. It's used to mock the seriousness with which such elections are often treated, as the audience from 'NoOneGivesAShitistan' watches with 'great interest,' indicating a disconnect between the importance placed on the election and the public's actual engagement.

💡congestion pricing

Congestion pricing is a policy in which a fee is charged on motor vehicles entering certain zones within a city to reduce traffic congestion. In the script, Jon Stewart humorously asks if friends from PaMiNevMiAzGaNc can do something about congestion pricing, using it as a satirical device to comment on urban planning issues and the perceived self-absorption of certain political entities.

💡tight race

A 'tight race' in the context of an election refers to a situation where the candidates are closely matched in terms of votes or public support. The script uses various metaphors like 'razor thin margins' and 'neck and neck' to emphasize the closeness of the election, which is a common theme in political discourse and often used to generate suspense and interest in the electoral process.

💡coalition

A political coalition is an alliance of different parties, groups, or individuals who come together to achieve a common goal, often in an election. The script mentions building a 'more diverse coalition,' which is a strategy used by political candidates to broaden their support base and appeal to a wider range of voters, as seen with the mention of Donald Trump gaining unexpected support from former Democrats.

💡endorsement

An endorsement in politics is when a person or organization publicly supports a particular candidate, often to influence the opinions of others. The script satirically discusses endorsements, such as Dick Cheney endorsing Vice President Harris, using it to mock the influence and relevance of such endorsements, especially when they come from controversial figures.

💡strategy

In the context of the script, 'strategy' refers to the planned approach or method adopted by political candidates to achieve their goals, such as winning a debate or an election. The script outlines the strategies of Kamala Harris and Donald Trump for the debate, emphasizing the importance of preparation, staying calm, and not responding impulsively to attacks.

💡ad hominem

Ad hominem is a Latin term used in debate to describe an argument that attacks the character or motives of an opponent rather than addressing the substance of their argument. The script humorously anticipates the use of ad hominem attacks, such as accusing Kamala Harris of being a Marxist, as a way to deflect from the actual issues being discussed.

💡abortion

Abortion is a highly contentious issue in many political debates, referring to the termination of a pregnancy. In the script, the discussion around abortion policies is used to highlight the differences between the candidates' stances and to satirize the emotional and political complexities surrounding the issue, as seen in the passionate response from Kamala Harris.

💡immigration

Immigration policies and their impact on society are often hotly debated topics. The script uses the issue of immigration to satirize the fear-mongering and misinformation that can be associated with political discussions on this topic, as seen in the exaggerated claims about immigrants 'eating dogs' in Springfield.

💡accountability

Accountability in politics refers to the obligation of individuals, particularly those in power, to accept responsibility for their actions. The script criticizes the lack of accountability shown by the former president when confronted with the consequences of his actions, particularly regarding the events of January 6th, using it to comment on the逃避责任 tendency of certain political figures.

Highlights

Jon Stewart humorously introduces the second presidential debate, setting a satirical tone for the segment.

The debate's live nature is emphasized, highlighting the immediacy and potential for unscripted moments.

A mock debate scenario is presented, poking fun at the seriousness of political events.

The stakes of the election are exaggeratedly portrayed as high for the fictional nation of PaMiNevMiAzGaNc.

The neighboring country of NoOneGivesAShitistan is introduced, adding a layer of satire to the geopolitical commentary.

A humorous plea for help with congestion pricing adds a relatable, everyday issue to the political satire.

The election is described as a 'dead heat', emphasizing the close competition between the candidates.

A series of analogies comparing the tight race to various tight situations adds a comedic element.

The unexpected support of former Democrats for Donald Trump is mentioned, adding a twist to the political narrative.

A satirical exchange between Jon Stewart and Alan Dershowitz showcases the absurdity of party switching.

Dick Cheney's endorsement of Vice President Harris is met with a comedic reaction, including a fake vomiting sound effect.

The debate's strategy for Kamala Harris is outlined, focusing on her need to balance multiple objectives.

Donald Trump is advised to respond to goading with facial expressions rather than words, adding a visual humor element.

The awkward non-greeting between Biden and Trump is highlighted, adding to the tension of the debate.

Kamala Harris's economic plan is humorously exaggerated, suggesting instant millionaire status for viewers.

Donald Trump's response to the economy question is a non-sequitur, adding to the comedic confusion.

A baseless ad hominem attack on Kamala Harris's father being a Marxist is met with a satirical defense.

Kamala Harris passionately addresses the issue of abortion, providing a powerful moment in the debate.

Donald Trump's nonchalant response to the abortion question is juxtaposed with Kamala Harris's emotional response.

Jon Stewart humorously invites viewers to a Trump rally, highlighting the absurdity of Trump's claims.

The issue of immigration is brought up, with Trump making an outrageous claim about immigrants eating pets.

A fact-check on Trump's pet-eating claim is provided, adding a layer of reality to the satire.

The closing statements address the January 6th Capitol insurrection, with Trump deflecting responsibility.

Jon Stewart concludes with a critique of Trump's lack of accountability, using a metaphor comparing him to a ship's captain.

Transcripts

Welcome to The Daily Show!

My name is Jon Stewart.

The second presidential debate has just wrapped up.

We are live.

Well, technically, technically, I

guess this is the second presidential debate.

The first presidential debate of this match up.

I can't wait to see who the winner

will take on next I think.

Well, coming to you live, ladies and gentlemen,

the stakes couldn't be higher as we all

try and figure out who will be the next president

of PaMiNevMiAzGaNc.

It's an exciting night for citizens

of that esteemed nation.

As the rest of us watch with great interest

from the neighboring country of NoOneGivesAShitistan.

[LAUGHTER]

By the way, if you have any friends in PaMiNevMiAzGaNc,

can you see if they can do anything

about congestion pricing?

All right, forget it.

But so far, it seems like this presidential race

is going to be a tight one.

REPORTER: The election now a dead heat.

--separated by razor thin margins.

--neck and neck.

--feels like a jump ball race right now.

For all intents and purposes, horseshoes and hand grenades.

It's a it's a coin flip.

The tightest race in a generation.

--as tight as it can get.

--as tight as a tick.

--as tight as a too tight bathing suit and a too long

car ride home from the beach.

[LAUGHTER]

That seems very tight.

It's as tight as a teenage boy's pants

during a Sydney Sweeney film festival.

Ooh!

It's tighter than Sydney Sweeney's scheduling windows

given how busy she is with projects

and in demand as a producer to say nothing of the--

anyway, she's very talented.

Of course, with an election this tight,

it is important to build out a more diverse coalition.

And recently, Donald Trump has picked up

the unexpected support of former Democrats, RFK Jr.

and Tulsi Gabbard and might even

have picked up one of Jeffrey Epstein's

most esteemed former lawyers.

I am no longer a Democrat.

I am no longer a member of the Democratic party.

This was not my party.

I just felt appalled when I watched the Democratic

National Convention.

I can't associate myself with the party itself.

No, wait.

Don't go.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, you're no longer in the Democratic party,

Alan Dershowitz?

Well, guess what?

Democrats don't want you anyway!

Because the democratic party has standards!

OK? We don't--

REPORTER: Last week, former Vice

President Dick Cheney endorsed Vice President Harris.

[LAUGHTER]

Would you excuse me one second?

[VOMITING]

I don't know what came over me.

Anyway, going into the debate, one thing was cl--

I'm sorry. You know what?

Dick Cheney, can you meet me over by camera one?

Fuck off.

[LAUGHTER]

Seriously, fuck off.

You came this close to destroying the entire world.

We were this close!

Closer than a teenage boy's pants!

And no!

I'm not going to have any fun with this!

And by the way, who in god's name

is that endorsement going to sway?

Well, I like the Democrat's policy on child tax credits.

But are they bombing enough Middle Eastern countries?

There's still some buildings standing.

Someone should really do something--

[VOMITING]

I'm fine.

It's fine.

Seriously, though, fuck that guy.

Now, obviously, please--

[APPLAUSE]

What an erudite takedown.

Obviously, each candidate was going to have

their goals and strategies.

For Kamala Harris, it was going to be quite a needle to thread.

She really wants to make sure that Americans

know her backstory, walk away understanding

her policy stances.

Make sure she needles Donald Trump.

Gets him to lash out.

Expose the flaws that she sees in him.

Stays calm.

Be ready for all attacks.

She's got, like, two minutes.

Is there anything else?

There are some people who are worried that she

might be over preparing.

Really?

After doing all that?

You know, Trump was encouraged to take a simpler approach.

They expect some goading remarks from Harris.

They have stressed to him over and over again, do not respond.

If you're going to respond at all to use facial expressions,

not to actually go out there and say anything.

[LAUGHTER]

Kamala, say everything.

Trump, say nothing.

But here's what you do, Mr. Former

President, if Kamala says something that surprises you,

you just go.

And if Kamala says something that makes you angry,

you just go.

And if Kamala says something that makes you feel sexy time,

you go, oh, yeah.

So those were the goals.

Both candidates have now entered the arena.

Biden and Trump did not greet each other.

And Kamala-- oh, wait, she went for the handshake!

Ladies and gentlemen, what an incredible display

of the awkward tension that happens

when your son is dating a biracial girl

and you meet her parents for the first time.

[LAUGHTER]

Do I-- konichiwa!

As per tradition in American politics,

the first question is always asked

by the most handsome person in a 10 to 15 mile radius.

When it comes to the economy, do

you believe Americans are better off

than they were four years ago?

Ooh, first, yowza.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, yeah.

Second, answer the question, Mrs. Vice President.

I imagine and have actually a plan to build what

I call an opportunity economy.

My plan is to give a $50,000 tax deduction

to start up small businesses.

I intend on extending a tax cut for those families of $6,000.

Holy shit!

We're one question in and we're all millionaires!

Oh, my god!

Donald, your response to the question,

is the economy better now than it was four years ago?

We have millions of people pouring into our country

from prisons and jails, from mental institutions,

and insane asylums.

They're dangerous.

They're at the highest level of criminality.

They are taking over the towns.

They're taking over buildings.

They're going in violently.

Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say,

after surviving the PTSD of the last presidential debate, how

unbelievably refreshing it is to go back

to the same old nobody's going to answer

any fucking questions!

This is unbelievable!

We're back!

America is back!

[CHEERING]

Yeah!

You ask them a question, they just turn the tide and answer

whatever they want to answer!

And now that we're returning to the cliches, the standards

of American political theater, I

think it's only fair if someone would

do the honors of the first baseless ad hominem.

She's a Marxist.

Everybody knows she's a Marxist.

Her father is a Marxist professor in economics.

And he taught her well.

But when you look at what she's done to our country--

Oh, shit.

She's about to be like, motherfucker,

let's just do this.

I'm going to-- boop, boop.

She's about to-- a Marxist?

She's about to open up a can of ass capital on Donald Trump.

Linsey Davis, you better change the subject before the fingers

on Kamala's hand unite.

I want to turn to the issue of abortion.

Oh, boy.

I'm not superstitious.

But this is where the wheels fell off for Biden.

He was asked about abortion.

And he somehow spun it into why are immigrants raping people?

And he ended with a classic phrase, we'll never forget.

And that's when we finally beat Medicare.

[LAUGHTER]

They're feeling it too, ladies and gentlemen.

As before President Trump, you have

the first crack at answering why you killed Roe v. Wade.

We've gotten what everybody wanted.

Democrats, Republicans, and everybody else,

and every legal scholar wanted it to be

brought back into the states.

And the states are voting.

And I did something that nobody thought was possible.

Jon Stewart from the I Was Watching This Live Times

Picayune, what you just said, yeah, that's actually

insanely false.

The majority of people wanted it.

You know what?

Kamala Harris, Kamala Harris, can you address this

with a bit more eloquence?

I have talked with women around our country.

You want to talk about this is what people wanted?

Pregnant women who want to carry a pregnancy to term

suffering from a miscarriage, being denied

care in an emergency room because the health care

providers are afraid they might go to jail

and she's bleeding out in a car in the parking lot?

She didn't want that.

Holy shit.

She crushed that.

This is like--

[CHEERING]

This is like-- what?

This is like one of those "Groundhog Day"

movies where you get to go back and fix

the bad way that something happened

earlier to the good way.

And then, you learn Italian and the piano.

And then, you get sad and then despondent.

And then, you learn how to love yourself.

Anyway, Trump will now finally have to answer

to his abortion policy.

You know what it reminds me of?

When they said they're going to get student loans

terminated and it ended up being a total catastrophe.

Ah, [EXHALES WEAKLY].

Student loan smoke bomb!

Poof!

But we're settling into a rhythm here.

Nice back and forth.

I got to give it to Trump.

He's sticking to his guns.

And he's not letting Kamala Harris get under his skin.

I actually think she's not going to be able to needle him.

I'm going to invite you to attend

one of Donald Trump's rallies.

He will talk about windmills cause cancer.

And what you will also notice is

that people start leaving his rallies early

out of exhaustion and boredom.

[CHEERING]

Oh, shit!

He's just going to start taking off his earrings

and be like, that's it, motherfucker!

Let's go!

Folks, the eagle has landed!

She has attacked what is Donald Trump's most cherished family

member, his rally crowds.

Donald, remember your training.

The question is about why you killed the

bipartisan immigration bill.

You don't need to think about the oth--

First, let me respond this to the rallies.

She said, people start leaving.

People don't go to her rallies.

Son of a bitch!

People don't leave my rallies.

We have the biggest rallies, the most incredible rallies

in the history of politics.

Our country is being lost.

We're a failing nation.

In Springfield, they're eating the dogs.

The people that came in, they're eating the cats.

They're eating-- they're eating the pets

of the people that live there.

[LAUGHTER]

What the fuck just happened?

I got these unbelievable rallies.

People don't leave.

They're eating dogs!

In Springfield, the immigrants are eating people's dogs!

Which reminds me, if I may for just

a quick moment, a quick reminder to all

the pet owners out there.

always remember to leash your dogs.

[LAUGHTER]

It's an important way to keep your dogs from fighting

other dogs, or being hit by a car,

or being eaten by your immigrant neighbors.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Also, fuck off, Dick Cheney.

[CHEERING]

I'm sorry.

You were saying?

I just want to clarify here.

You bring up Springfield, Ohio.

And ABC News did reach out to the city manager there.

He told us there have been no credible reports

of specific claims of pets being harmed,

injured, or abused by individuals

within the immigrant community.

I've seen people on television.

Let me just say here.

The people on television say my dog

was taken and used for food.

So maybe he said that.

And maybe that's a good thing to say for a city manager.

DAVID MUIR: I'm not taking this from television.

But the people on television said their--

DAVID MUIR: The city manager--

DONALD TRUMP: --dog was eaten by the people that went there.

DAVID MUIR: Again, the Springfield city manager says

there's no evidence of that.

[LAUGHTER]

Having spent some time in Springfield myself,

I believe I know what's happening here.

I believe Trump himself may be becoming one of Springfield's

most famous residents.

And I believe we have some footage.

It's rotten being old.

No one listens to you.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

Someone ate my dog!

And finally, no debate with the former president

would be complete without addressing

the former president's closing number of the Trump

show's first term.

Mr. president, on January 6th, you told your supporters

to march to the Capitol.

You said you would be right there with them.

Is there anything you regret about what you did on that day?

It wasn't done by me.

It was done by others.

It would have never happened if Nancy Pelosi and the mayor

of Washington did their jobs.

I wasn't responsible for security.

Nancy Pelosi was responsible.

She didn't do her job.

I had nothing to do with that other

than they asked me to make a speech.

I showed up for a speech.

You spent two months riling up your base that our country

had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means

that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law

and let--

and let yourself just abuse them.

You pressed on.

You abused their trust.

You showed up for a speech?

You fucking tweeted, "Join me on January 6th.

It will be wild."

But suddenly now, I was just a hired magician

at a bar mitzvah.

I didn't do anything.

I showed up with a hat and a rabbit.

And then, the whole party went out of control.

And this is it, ladies and gentlemen.

I don't know if this debate is going to change anything.

I really don't.

People are awfully set in the manner

that they view these proceedings.

What I think is a home run answer for one candidate,

someone else views as a dodge or a lie

or any of those other things.

In some ways, it doesn't matter what they say anymore.

But one thing will always be true.

And it is the quality of the former president

I respect the least.

Whenever he is cornered and forced

to face even the smallest of consequences

for his own mendacity and scheming,

he reverts to the greatest refuge of scoundrels.

As Shaggy would say, it wasn't me!

I did nothing wrong.

I just showed up.

They're the ones who went crazy.

This man, who constantly professes to be your champion,

who says they're going to have to go through him

to get to you, will always, when the boat is going down,

be the first into the lifeboats.

Because in that moment, he will always say the same thing.

I didn't know anything about it.

I was just told to show up for a cruise,

even though everybody knows he was the fucking

captain of the ship.

In any other country, that lack--

in any other country, in any other country,

that lack of accountability would be disqualifying.

But in this country, it means the race is tighter than a--

would you excuse me for just one second?

[VOMITING]