The most important leadership quality is patience | Gabe de Jong | TEDxGroningen

TEDx Talks

6 Feb 201504:52

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares a personal anecdote about playing hide and seek, leading to a discussion on the value of patience. They argue that our fast-paced, impatient lives hinder us from truly living and experiencing life fully. The speaker suggests that by slowing down and counting to ten, we can disengage from autopilot, reflect, and make better decisions. This practice can enhance creativity, strengthen relationships, and improve personal leadership.

Takeaways

😅 The speaker humorously recounts their first experience playing hide and seek, where they were told to count to 100 facing a tree, which took them nearly three minutes.
🤔 They discovered a trick to count to 100 quickly by counting 'one to ten' ten times, using their fingers as a mnemonic device.
🏃‍♂️ The speaker draws an analogy between the desire for speed in counting and the modern rush to get things done quickly, which can detract from the quality of life.
🚫 The script suggests that impatience can negatively impact various aspects of life, including personal growth, creativity, and relationships.
🧠 It emphasizes the importance of patience in allowing for reflection, better decision-making, and the cultivation of innovative ideas.
💡 The speaker argues that patience is a critical quality for personal leadership and can lead to a more fulfilling life.
🕒 A counterintuitive suggestion is made: to develop patience, one should practice counting to 10 slowly, which can help disengage from autopilot mode.
🤝 The script highlights how taking the time to listen patiently can strengthen relationships and allow for deeper emotional connections.
🛑 The speaker encourages the practice of counting to 10 slowly in various situations, such as making decisions or engaging in difficult conversations, to enhance clarity and empathy.
🔁 The script concludes with a call to action, inviting the audience to practice counting to 10 slowly together as a means to embody the lesson of patience.

Q & A

What trick does the speaker mention for counting to 100 quickly?
-The speaker suggests counting 'one to ten' ten times, using your ten fingers to keep track, which is a faster way to reach one hundred.
How does the speaker relate the trick of counting quickly to modern life?
-The speaker relates the quick counting trick to the impatience in modern life, where people want everything fast and are unable to wait, which can ruin the 'game of life'.
Why does the speaker believe impatience can be detrimental to our lives?
-Impatience can lead to living life on autopilot, focusing on short-term success, and not reflecting on the state of our lives, which can result in a repetitive and unfulfilling life.
When do we tend to get our best ideas according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that we get our best ideas when our minds are in an easy mode, such as during a shower or a walk, rather than in an autopilot or fight mode.
How does impatience affect relationships according to the script?
-Impatience can kill relationships by not allowing us to truly listen and understand others, leading to a breakdown in communication and connection.
What is the most important quality for personal leadership that the speaker emphasizes?
-The speaker emphasizes that patience is the most important quality for personal leadership.
What alternative to counting quickly does the speaker propose to improve patience?
-The speaker proposes counting to 10 slowly as a way to improve patience, which helps to disengage autopilot mode and encourages reflection and better decision-making.
How can counting to 10 slowly help in decision-making?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in decision-making by allowing time to reflect and consider options more thoroughly, leading to better choices.
What benefits does the speaker attribute to counting to 10 slowly in terms of creativity?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in creativity by allowing the mind to relax and potentially generate new ideas without immediately dismissing them.
How does the speaker suggest counting to 10 slowly can improve communication in relationships?
-Counting to 10 slowly can improve communication by encouraging active listening and giving others the space to express themselves, which can strengthen relationships.