Integration After the Recognition of Our True Nature

Summary

In this reflective transcript, the speaker recounts their journey from physical policing to a profound personal loss, leading to disorientation and an encounter with a new philosophy. They describe finding peace and intellectual clarity through surrendering to trauma and loss, guided by teachings that emphasize the importance of recognizing one's essential being. The speaker's experience with meditation is a revelation of a 'river of peace' and an exploration of the 'I am' concept, leading to a deeper understanding of self and the innate tranquility of existence.

Takeaways

• 😯 The speaker experienced a profound personal loss and suffering that led to disorientation and a search for understanding.
• 🔍 They found guidance in teachings that emphasized surrendering to trauma and pain, which helped them find a sense of peace.
• 🌊 The speaker describes a 'river of peace' as a new and delicious feeling that they are still trying to understand intellectually.
• 🧘 The concept of 'I am' is highlighted as a beacon to one's essential being, indicating a place of peace and safety.
• 🤔 The speaker is exploring the balance between intellectual understanding and the experiential aspect of being in a meditative state.
• 💡 The 'I am' thought is presented as a tool to reorient one's attention to their essential being, beyond transient emotional states.
• 🌀 The speaker mentions that the peace of one's true nature may seem intermittent due to the intensity of experience but is always present.
• 🚶‍♂️ The practice of meditation is initially seen as something one does, but eventually, it is understood as the natural state of being.
• 🔄 The realization that the person is an activity of thinking and perceiving, separate from the essential being, is a key insight.
• 🏡 The feeling of returning to oneself is a practice in the beginning, but later it is understood as the natural state of being, akin to 'home'.
• 🌈 The speaker concludes that being oneself is effortless, unlike other activities in life, and that the peace of one's essential being is always accessible.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial reaction to experiencing intense suffering and personal loss?

The speaker was quite disoriented for some time and identified with a very physical, hands-on approach to life, which seemed to change almost overnight.

How did the speaker come across the teachings that helped them?

The speaker stumbled across the teachings when someone suggested they needed to surrender to their trauma, loss, and pain, and they found guidance in these teachings.

What is the speaker's description of the feeling they experience now?

The speaker describes feeling a 'river of peace' and a 'delicious feeling' of peace, which they had never experienced before.

What is the significance of the phrase 'I am' in the context of the speaker's experience?

The phrase 'I am' signifies the essential being, asserting its presence and indicating the place of peace and safety within oneself.

How does the speaker describe the process of meditation in relation to their essential being?

The speaker describes meditation as not something they do, but rather what they are, emphasizing the state of being in their essential nature.

What is the speaker's understanding of the 'I am' aspect of their experience?

The speaker understands that regardless of the experience—whether it's depression, loneliness, or fear—the 'I am' aspect is always present, indicating the constant presence of their essential being.

How does the speaker view the practice of meditation in the early stages?

In the early stages, the speaker views meditation as a practice that requires effort, as the mind has to extricate itself from various experiences to return to its essence.

What realization does the speaker come to about their essential being over time?

The speaker realizes that they don't have to return to their essential being because they have always been themselves; it's just that their essential being was previously obscured by experience.

How does the speaker differentiate between 'being' and 'doing' in the context of meditation?

The speaker differentiates by stating that meditation is what they are, while being a person, with all its activities and experiences, is what they do.

What does the speaker suggest is the ultimate realization in the practice of meditation?

The ultimate realization is that being oneself requires no effort at all, and that the peace of one's true nature is always present, even if it seems intermittent due to being lost in experience.

How does the speaker relate the peace of their essential being to the intensity of experience?

The speaker relates it by saying that the peace of their essential being seems to come and go due to the intensity of experience, but in reality, it is always present and can be rediscovered by stepping back from the experience.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Discovering Inner Peace Through Meditation

The speaker shares a personal journey of transformation from a physical, hands-on approach to policing to a profound inner change after experiencing intense suffering and loss. Initially disoriented, they found guidance in meditation teachings that encouraged surrendering to trauma and pain. This led to an unexpected state of peace, described as 'a river of peace,' which was a new and delightful sensation. The speaker's questions about the nature of meditation and its effects over time were answered through quiet introspection, leading to a realization that meditation is not an act but a state of being. The essence of the 'I am' concept was highlighted as a beacon to one's true, peaceful self, which is always present despite life's experiences.

05:01

🧘‍♀️ The Practice and Realization of Being

This paragraph delves into the practice of meditation as a means to reconnect with one's essential being, which is inherently peaceful. The speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on the 'I am' aspect of any experience, rather than the negative emotions associated with it. This shift in attention allows for a deeper connection with one's inner peace. The initial practice of meditation is likened to a skill that needs to be learned, but over time, it becomes a natural state of being. The realization that one does not need to practice being oneself but rather needs to practice the activities that constitute being a person is a pivotal insight. The paragraph concludes with the understanding that meditation is not something one does but rather what one is, leading to a cessation of the practice and a simple abiding in one's true nature.

10:02

🌟 Effortless Being and the Supremely Lazy

The final paragraph discusses the effortless nature of being oneself and how meditation can lead to a state of supreme laziness, where even the simplest actions feel like too much effort. This is contrasted with the constant effort required in other aspects of life. The speaker reflects on the experience of peace as an ever-present backdrop to life's drama, accessible by stepping back into one's true nature. The conversation highlights the idea that the peace of one's essential being is not an intermittent experience but a constant presence, obscured only by the intensity of life's experiences. The speaker encourages the listener to make the effort to return to this state of peace when lost in experience, with the assurance that this effort will eventually lead to the understanding that being oneself is the most natural and effortless state of existence.

Keywords

💡Atman

Atman is a concept from Indian philosophy, particularly in Hinduism, which refers to the true self or essential being of an individual. In the video, the concept of Atman is central to the theme of self-discovery and the realization of one's inner peace. The script mentions 'your essential being' and 'I am' as indicators of this true self, suggesting that recognizing and returning to one's Atman is the key to finding peace amidst life's experiences.

💡Meditation

Meditation, as discussed in the script, is not merely a practice but a state of being. The video emphasizes that meditation is the natural state of one's essential being, which is inherently peaceful. The script contrasts the common notion of meditation as an activity with the deeper understanding that it is the state of simply 'being' oneself, which is a key theme in the video.

💡Surrender

Surrender, in the context of the video, refers to the act of yielding or giving oneself over to a situation or experience without resistance. The script describes how the speaker was advised to 'surrender to the trauma and the loss and the pain,' which was a turning point in their journey towards understanding and embracing their essential being.

💡Trauma

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can cause long-lasting mental or emotional effects. In the script, the speaker mentions experiencing 'intense suffering and personal loss,' which is described as a form of trauma that initially disoriented them but later led to a profound personal transformation.

💡Disorientation

Disorientation, as used in the script, refers to a state of confusion or loss of one's sense of direction, both literally and metaphorically. The speaker describes feeling 'disoriented' after experiencing trauma, which signifies a loss of their previous understanding of self and the world.

💡Essential Being

Essential Being is the core concept in the video, referring to the pure, unchanging aspect of one's existence that is not influenced by external experiences or conditions. The script discusses how the realization of one's Essential Being is the ultimate goal of the meditation process, leading to a state of inherent peace.

💡Peace

Peace, in the context of the video, is not just the absence of conflict but a state of inner tranquility and harmony. The script frequently mentions 'peace' as the natural state of one's Essential Being, which can be accessed by recognizing and returning to one's true self.

💡Intellectual Understanding

Intellectual Understanding is the cognitive comprehension of concepts and ideas. The script contrasts this with the experiential understanding of one's Essential Being. The speaker initially lacked an intellectual understanding of their experiences but found clarity through the teachings that led them to a deeper, experiential understanding.

💡Experience

Experience, in the script, refers to the events, emotions, and perceptions that one encounters in life. The video discusses how these experiences can cloud or obscure one's Essential Being, but also how they can serve as a gateway to recognizing and returning to one's true nature.

💡Practice

Practice, as mentioned in the video, initially refers to the act of engaging in meditation or other spiritual exercises to cultivate a connection with one's Essential Being. However, the script reveals that with time and realization, the need for practice diminishes as one simply 'abides' in their true nature.

💡Personing

Personing is a term used in the script to describe the activity of identifying with and engaging in the roles, thoughts, and perceptions that make up one's personal identity. It contrasts with the state of being one's Essential Being, suggesting that while 'personing' is an activity, meditation or being oneself is the natural state.

Highlights

The speaker experienced a profound personal loss and disorientation, leading to an exploration of new perspectives.

The concept of 'at vitae' was unfamiliar to the speaker, who was introduced to it through intense suffering.

The speaker's traditional identification with physical, hands-on policing was challenged by sudden changes.

An intellectual understanding of the speaker's situation was lacking, leading to a search for answers.

The speaker found guidance in teachings that encouraged surrendering to trauma and loss.

A sense of peace, described as 'delicious,' emerged from the speaker's journey of self-discovery.

The speaker questions the nature of meditation and its role in their life.

The concept of 'I am' is introduced as a beacon to one's essential being and peace.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on the 'I am' aspect of experiences to access inner peace.

The realization that one's essential being is always present, regardless of external circumstances.

The speaker discusses the initial practice of meditation as a means to return to one's true self.

The eventual understanding that meditation is not something to practice but an inherent state of being.

The distinction between 'being' and 'doing' in the context of meditation and daily life.

The idea that being oneself requires no effort, unlike other activities in life.

The speaker's experiential realization of the peace that comes from being quiet and surrendering.

The notion that the peace of one's true nature is always present, even if obscured by intense experiences.

The speaker's acknowledgment of the mind's tendency to be lost in experience, and the need to find one's way back to peace.

Transcripts

hello as six months ago I had never

heard the word at vitae and I was kind

of smacked on the head by some intense

suffering and personal loss and was

quite disoriented for some time I mean

law enforcement and I've always

identified with the very physical

hands-on kind of policing and almost

overnight everything seemed to change

and I was like I said I was very

disoriented I came to I guess I'm coming

at this backwards maybe from some people

I had no intellectual understanding of

what was happening here and I stumbled

across your teaching when somebody

suggested that I needed to surrender to

the to the trauma and the loss and the

pain that I had so I didn't know how to

do that and when I when I found your

teaching it helped to orient me somewhat

so I'm still trying to piece together

the intellectual understanding while

kind of walking around in this this

river of peace I don't think I've ever

heard of anybody describe it before is a

delicious feeling but that's what I what

I feel so my question most of the

questions that I've come up with have

been answered just by being quiet

someone today thanks Christine I edit I

it was taught me something that I was

going to ask and about the I am kind of

opening a door and you spoke to it this

morning

and I've heard you say meditation isn't

what we do it's what we are and so when

I say I am and I'm quiet I get a

sometimes a lightning bolt and most of

the time just a flooding of peace and

does that

it does that intensify overtime does

it's quiet down over time because

sometimes it's almost too much

and if meditation is what I am when I

went for my walk today I practiced

trying to be that and it was wonderful

and it am I on the right track in that

regard the short answer is yes you know

on the right track so but just to

elaborate the name I know I is the name

that whatever knows itself gives to

itself so what is it in you that says I

or I am it is your essential being it is

your essential being asserting its

presence it is your being saying I am I

am present

so the name I or the thought I am is

like it's like a a lighthouse to a

sailor or on a stormy night it indicates

the place of peace the place of safety

so it did that me the thought I or I am

it indicates to you where where to go to

find your being and it's innate peace

because our being is innately peaceful

before our being is colored by

experience its nature is just peace so

when we say I am I am depressed

I am lonely I am sad I am agitated I am

fearful I am guilty I am confused in all

of these experiences the I am is present

there that's reason why we say I am

depressed I am confused but in all of

these experiences we tend to emphasize

the depression the confusion the

loneliness the sorrow the excitement etc

and as a result we neglect or overlook

the presence of our own being

so in this approach whatever we're

experiencing I am depressed I am

agitated I am lonely I am afraid we

emphasize the I am aspect of the

experience we don't reject the the

qualifying aspect that the depression

and loneliness the fear we just don't

give it our attention we give the the I

am aspect

our attention and that takes us from the

feeling of depression or sorry it takes

us deeper into our own being it takes us

to the place of peace in ourselves so

yes you're on the right track you you

just it's not necessary to repeat I am

to yourself you just take the thought

once take the thought I am and then you

allow your attention to be drawn to its

referent drawn to that which is referred

to by the name I which is your essential

being now the one who for a mind that is

accustomed to to being lost in

experience that to begin with will feel

like something that that mind has to

practice the mind has two extra

extricate itself from the depression

from the loneliness from the fear from

the sorrow and return as it were to its

essence pure being so to begin with it

seems like a practice that the mind has

to do and this is why in the early

stages we feel that meditation is a

practice that we do but in time we

realized that we can't practice being

ourselves you haven't spent all of your

life practicing being a man you just

feel like I am a man I don't have to

practice being may you had to practice

being a policeman because it's being a

policeman it's not innate in use of

being a policeman was something you had

to practice but being a man was what you

felt you you are so now we realized that

actually what we essentially are is not

being a man or a woman or even a person

it's just this pure

we're being so although we may to begin

we'd have to extricate ourselves from

experience and return to so to speak our

self or our essential being in time we

realized no I don't have to return to

myself I've never left myself I've

always been myself only previously

myself was so mixed with experience that

experience colored or clouded or

obscured myself and I overlooked myself

so to begin with there is this feeling

of returning to yourself that's the

practice of meditation but in time you

you realize I don't have to return there

it's where I naturally am it's my home

so then meditation ceases to be

something we practice we realize it's

what we are so we no longer practice

returning to ourselves we just abide in

ourselves as ourselves and in if

anything we have to practice becoming a

person again that is adding thoughts

feelings activities relationships to our

essential being so initially we think a

person is what I am and meditation is

what I do that's fine in the early

stages but at some point there is a

reversal we realize that meditation is

what I am and the person is what I do in

other words the person is an activity of

thinking and perceiving that is added to

me it is my activity but not myself it

is as I said this morning being

personing or existence personing

the person is collection of thinking

feeling sensing and perceiving is the

activity of our essential being but it's

it's fine if you feel at some point that

you're lost in experience in suffering

or excitement or whatever it's fine then

to trace your way back to yourself and

if that feels like something you have to

do then it's fine do it if it's feel

feels to begin with it it's something

you have to make an effort to do then

make the effort later it will come clear

to you that being yourself is the

actually the only thing in life that

requires and no effort at all everything

else apart from being yourself requires

effort and there's this beautiful line

in the ashtavakra gita where ashtavakra

says happiness belongs to that supremely

lazy person for whom even blinking is

too much trouble

that's the essence of meditation and I

feel that experientially because anytime

the mind wants to carry me away like the

Chihuahua example yesterday being quiet

and surrendering all over again brings

that that feeling of peace a delicious

feeling of peace back again

more than anything yes certainly

thinking just makes it worse any

intellectual conversation I have with

anyone seems to obscure the

understanding yes that the peace of your

true nature the peace of your essential

being is it only appears to be an

intermittent experience for a mind that

is lost in experience for a mind that is

lost in experience it seems that the

peace of our true nature becomes

available from time to time it seems to

come and go the mix the drama experience

but in fact the peace of our true nature

is always present just behind our

experience it is actually present within

in the midst of our experience but for

this conversation that's say at least to

begin with we access the peace of our

true nature just behind our current

experience it's always there it's

sometimes it seems to be obscured by

experience and then we feel it's no

longer present then we have to go in

search of it it's not really that we

have to go in surgery it's not absent

it's just that it's clouded or failed by

the intensity of experience particularly

the intensity of suffering now all

that's necessary to do then is just go

take one step further back in yourself

from this

Turing to the - you're being just behind

it and that being is always peaceful

it's like the screen behind the movie

it's not really behind the movie but for

one who is lost in the drama of the

movie it is legitimate at least to begin

with to say notice the peaceful screen

behind the drama of the movie thank you