How To Build Self Discipline - Marcus Aurelius (Stoicism)

Summary

The video script explores self-discipline through the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, offering 10 insights such as finding purpose, relying on oneself, showing up consistently, practicing voluntary hardship, and embracing the dichotomy of control. It emphasizes the importance of delayed gratification, ignoring naysayers, learning from wise individuals, and honest self-reflection to cultivate mental fortitude and achieve goals.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Self-discipline begins with identifying your purpose and using it as a driving force to complete tasks.
• 🔨 Start taking action on your goals without waiting for perfect conditions or endless research; just begin practicing your craft daily.
• 💪 Rely on yourself and commit to the small steps and actions that align with your larger goals, building a practical plan of action.
• 🚀 Show up consistently every day to work on your goals, as consistency is key to building mental endurance and focus.
• 🛠 Practice voluntary hardship to build resilience and prepare for real-life challenges by making life routinely uncomfortable.
• 🎯 Apply the dichotomy of control to focus on what is within your power and accept what is not, fostering tranquility and discipline.
• 🙅‍♂️ Refrain from playing the victim and instead take responsibility for your actions and life, avoiding the 'why me?' mentality.
• 🍭 Develop the skill of delayed gratification to resist short-term temptations in favor of long-term goals and rewards.
• 🗣️ Ignore the naysayers and focus on your own path, understanding that criticism from those who do not respect your goals is unproductive.
• 👥 Find and emulate wise people who have achieved what you aspire to, learning from their experiences and strategies.
• 🌙 Honestly review your day to identify areas of strength and weakness, using self-awareness and self-compassion to improve.

Q & A

What is the significance of Marcus Aurelius' 'Meditations' in the context of self-discipline?

Marcus Aurelius' 'Meditations' is significant because it provides key insights into building self-discipline. As a Roman Emperor, his writings offer practical advice on how to live a virtuous life and achieve goals through self-reflection and understanding one's purpose.

Why is finding one's purpose considered the starting point for self-discipline according to Marcus Aurelius?

Finding one's purpose is the starting point for self-discipline because it gives a clear reason to undertake tasks and face challenges. It is the driving force that propels individuals to get out of bed each morning and work towards their goals, regardless of the obstacles they may encounter.

How does Marcus Aurelius suggest we deal with the feeling of not wanting to do something, like changing a flat tire?

Marcus Aurelius suggests that having a clear purpose, such as changing a flat tire as quickly as possible to continue one's journey, is the biggest source of self-discipline. This purpose provides the necessary motivation to complete the task, even when one feels tired or reluctant.

What does Marcus Aurelius mean by 'Turn your desire to stone'?

By saying 'Turn your desire to stone,' Marcus Aurelius means that one should solidify their commitment to their goals and actions. It implies developing a strong will and unwavering focus, similar to the hardness of stone, to resist distractions and maintain discipline.

How does consistency play a role in building self-discipline?

Consistency is crucial in building self-discipline because it involves showing up and putting in the work every day. It helps in developing mental endurance, focus, and the habit of doing what is necessary to achieve goals, even when it is challenging or uncomfortable.

What is the concept of 'Voluntary Hardship' and how does it contribute to self-discipline?

Voluntary Hardship is the practice of intentionally making life uncomfortable in some way to test oneself and prepare for potential future challenges. It contributes to self-discipline by instilling resilience and the ability to endure scarcity and discomfort when necessary.

What is the 'Dichotomy of Control' and how does it help in maintaining self-discipline?

The 'Dichotomy of Control' is the concept of distinguishing between what is within one's control and what is not. It helps in maintaining self-discipline by focusing on actions that can be controlled and accepting things that cannot be changed, thus reducing unnecessary stress and distractions.

Why is it important not to play the victim according to Marcus Aurelius?

Not playing the victim is important because it promotes personal responsibility and mental fortitude. It prevents individuals from making excuses and absolving themselves of responsibility, which is essential for making meaningful progress and building self-discipline.

How does delaying gratification relate to self-discipline?

Delaying gratification relates to self-discipline as it involves the ability to resist immediate temptations and focus on long-term goals. It is about prioritizing future rewards over short-term pleasures, which is a central behavior in developing self-discipline.

What advice does Marcus Aurelius give regarding dealing with naysayers?

Marcus Aurelius advises to ignore naysayers and not let their opinions affect one's peace of mind. He suggests understanding that their negative opinions are not worth the energy and that one's self-discipline should not be disrupted by external criticism.

Why is it beneficial to find wise people to emulate for self-discipline?

Finding wise people to emulate is beneficial because it provides a practical model for self-discipline. Learning from those who have successfully achieved goals or mastered habits can provide valuable insights and strategies for one's own journey towards self-discipline.

How does Marcus Aurelius recommend reviewing one's day to improve self-discipline?

Marcus Aurelius recommends honestly reviewing one's day through self-awareness, self-examination, and self-determination. This process involves reflecting on what was done well, where discipline was tested, what went wrong, and how to improve. It helps in identifying weak spots and formulating constructive actions for the future.

Outlines

00:00

📘 Building Self-Discipline with Marcus Aurelius' Wisdom

This paragraph introduces the concept of self-discipline through the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher. It emphasizes the importance of finding one's purpose as the foundation for self-discipline, and highlights the idea that understanding and committing to one's goals is essential for achieving them. The paragraph also suggests that starting with small, consistent actions can lead to the development of self-discipline, as it is the internal drive and motivation that propels one toward their objectives.

05:03

💪 Cultivating Self-Discipline through Voluntary Hardship and Consistency

This section delves into the practical aspects of self-discipline, advocating for the development of a solid plan of action and the importance of consistency in achieving goals. It discusses the concept of voluntary hardship as a means to strengthen self-discipline by intentionally creating discomfort to prepare for future challenges. The paragraph also touches on the Dichotomy of Control, urging individuals to focus on what is within their control and to avoid being derailed by external factors. Additionally, it advises against playing the victim and the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and life.

10:06

🌟 Ignoring Naysayers and Seeking Wise Role Models for Self-Discipline

In this paragraph, the script addresses the challenges of ignoring naysayers and the importance of finding wise individuals to emulate in the pursuit of self-discipline. It suggests that one should not be swayed by the negative opinions of others and instead seek constructive feedback from respected individuals. The paragraph also encourages finding role models who have achieved the desired goals and learning from their experiences to foster one's own self-discipline. Lastly, it emphasizes the value of honest self-reflection and the practice of reviewing one's day to identify areas of strength and weakness, ultimately leading to self-improvement.

Keywords

💡Self-discipline

Self-discipline refers to the ability to control one's actions, emotions, and impulses in accordance with one's goals and values. In the video, it is the central theme, with Marcus Aurelius emphasizing its importance for personal growth and success. The script illustrates this through the example of having a clear purpose and committing to tasks despite challenges.

💡Purpose

Purpose is the reason or goal that gives meaning and direction to one's life. Marcus Aurelius suggests that understanding one's purpose is the starting point of self-discipline. The script uses the analogy of changing a flat tire to demonstrate how a clear purpose can motivate action.

💡Consistency

Consistency is the practice of maintaining a regular course of action or behavior. In the context of the video, it is portrayed as a key component of self-discipline, where showing up every day and performing tasks is crucial for achieving long-term goals.

💡Voluntary Hardship

Voluntary hardship is the act of intentionally subjecting oneself to discomfort or difficulty to build resilience and self-discipline. The script mentions practices such as skipping meals or cold showers as examples of voluntary hardships that prepare one for greater challenges.

💡Dichotomy of Control

The dichotomy of control is a concept that distinguishes between what is within one's control and what is not. Marcus Aurelius advises focusing on the former to find inner peace and strength, which is essential for maintaining self-discipline amidst external disturbances.

💡Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later, often larger reward. The script illustrates this with the example of resisting temptation at a party to achieve long-term health goals.

💡Naysayers

Naysayers are individuals who express doubt or criticism towards one's goals or efforts. The video emphasizes the importance of ignoring the negative opinions of naysayers to maintain self-discipline and progress towards one's objectives.

💡Role Models

Role models are individuals whose behavior, achievements, or values are admired and imitated. Marcus Aurelius suggests emulating those with good character to strengthen one's self-discipline, with the script advising to seek out and learn from those who have achieved similar goals.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and understanding one's own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. The video highlights the importance of self-awareness in self-discipline through the practice of daily self-examination and reflection.

💡Self-compassion

Self-compassion involves being kind to oneself in instances of perceived failure or inadequacy. The script mentions the importance of forgiving oneself for setbacks as a means to prevent further procrastination and to foster a positive mindset for self-improvement.

💡Stoicism

Stoicism is a school of philosophy that teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means to overcome destructive emotions. The video script draws heavily from Stoic principles, particularly the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, to convey strategies for cultivating self-discipline.

Highlights

Marcus Aurelius, the last of the Five Good Emperors, offers key insights on self-discipline in his Meditations.

Self-discipline begins with identifying one's purpose and the inherent duty to fulfill it.

Having a clear understanding of goals and tasks contributes to the likelihood of completion.

Consistent practice in one's field of interest is the foundation of self-discipline.

Self-discipline is about committing to tasks and activities to achieve goals, regardless of personal state.

Creating a practical plan with mini-milestones helps in maintaining focus and avoiding procrastination.

Daily consistency in work is crucial for building mental endurance and focus.

Voluntary hardship, such as skipping meals or cold showers, strengthens one's ability to endure discomfort.

The Dichotomy of Control emphasizes the importance of focusing on what is within one's control.

Avoiding the victim mentality and taking responsibility is key to mental toughness.

Delayed gratification is central to self-discipline, requiring the ability to resist immediate temptations.

Ignoring naysayers and focusing on one's own progress is essential for maintaining self-discipline.

Emulating wise and successful individuals can provide guidance and motivation for self-improvement.

Honest self-reflection and review of one's day are critical for identifying weaknesses and areas for improvement.

Forgiving oneself and practicing self-compassion can prevent procrastination and foster personal growth.

Evening retrospections help in becoming more self-aware and formulating constructive answers for self-improvement.

The importance of gratitude for the positive aspects of the day in the process of self-discipline.

Transcripts

If you want to build self-discipline, you’d do well to listen to the words of Marcus Aurelius.

He was the emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 A.D. and is considered as last of the Five

Good Emperors. During his rule, Aurelius found the time to construct a series of autobiographical

writings, now known as the Meditations. In these writings, the Roman Emperor offered

a number of key insights on how to be build self-discipline. Here are 10 of the most important

of those insights for self-discipline from the writings of Marcus Aurelius.

1. Self Discipline starts with finding your purpose

Marcus Aurelius says “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain

of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do?

Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”

Marcus Aurelius believed that we each have a purpose; something that we were created

for. It is our duty to carry out that purpose because it is purpose that gets you out of

bed each morning. If you have a clear understanding of your goals and how your task fits within

them, you are much more likely to complete it.

For example, say you have a flat tire and need to change it. Your purpose is clear – change

the tire as quickly as possible so you can get on your way. You are going to do that

task, no matter how tired you feel. The biggest source of self-discipline is to have a reason

to do the task. If you don’t know what to do, just start.

If you want to be a writer, write every day. If you want to be an artist, draw and create

every day. Anything you want to do, you don’t need any more motivation or research or advice.

You just start practicing something you’re interested in and tackle every day as it comes

because it is your purpose that will give you an internal desire, drive, and motivation

to propels you forward toward your goal. Self-discipline is about finding compelling reasons to do

something then committing yourself to see that task or activity through to the very

end.

2. Count on yourself According to Marcus Aurelius, you should “Turn

your desire to stone. Quench your appetites. Keep your mind centered on itself”

After you have a solid purpose, It’s time now to build a practical plan of action to

help you accomplish your goal. You should’nt just not commit to your goals but commit to

all the little actions you will take along the way in the pursuit of those goals. We

must be fully committed to doing whatever it takes to get the job done no matter what

challenges get in the way.

Self Discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action—to do what you need to do—regardless

of your physical, mental, or emotional state. Everything you want in your life—everything

you want to have, be, and do, depends on your ability to get yourself to take the necessary

actions to achieve your goals, whether you feel like it or not.

You can start with forming an effective plan of action that is comprised of a deadline

for accomplishing your goal. It must also be built on the foundation of mini-milestones

that break your goal down into manageable chunks.

Mini-milestones will ensure that you’re working toward your desired outcome in small

pieces and time blocks. This tactic puts you in the driver’s seat. It gives you a sense

of control over the tasks and projects you’re working on.

What you’re ultimately trying to avoid is succumbing to being overwhelmed. Overwhelming

can quickly digress to procrastination, and procrastination can, subsequently, lead to

stagnation. And, of course, where there is stagnation, self-discipline cannot exist.

3. Show up every day Marcus Aurelius says “You must build up

your life action by action, and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible–and

no one can keep you from this”.

Even after having a solid purpose and a practical plan, 95% of us fail to achieve our goals.

We fail because we fail to be consistent. We need to show up, every day, and put in

the work. The simple act of showing up and immersing yourself in your craft does wonders

for mental endurance. You build focus and come to terms with the arduous process that

it takes to achieve anything great. You have to put in countless hours of work before you

reap any of the benefits. Self - Discipline is nothing more but the habit of consistency

– finding the motivation to do something again and again, until you do it on autopilot

and start seeing results. So even if you fail once for example, if you didn’t exercise

when you know you should have, this doesn’t define your character. Your ability to keep

going is what moulds you into a disciplined and strong person. A bad day doesn’t have

to become a bad week, a bad week doesn’t have to become a bad year. The moment you

wake up, remember that the new day is a new life and move forward by opening your eyes

and focusing on what’s in front of you, which is life itself.

4. Practice Voluntary Hardship In the words of Marcus Aurelius “We should

discipline ourselves in small things, and from there progress to things of greater value.

If you have a headache, practise not cursing. Don’t curse every time you have an earache.

And I’m not saying that you can’t complain, only don’t complain with your whole being”

Voluntary Hardship is one of the ways we can build our self discipline. Voluntary hardship

means constantly testing ourselves and by making life routinely uncomfortable in some

way, we are hardening ourselves for the day we may need to live it for real. A voluntary

hardship might be skipping a meal and going hungry for a night, having a cold shower,

not smoking, sleeping on the floor, leaving your jacket at home when you know it’s cold

and raining out or donating half of your clothes to charity. You could choose to go without

Social Media for a few days or throw your Smart Phone in the drawer. Do it often enough

and will you begin to understand what scarcity and hardship feels like and that you can live

with both if needed.

5. Practice Dichotomy of Control Marcus Aurelius says “You have power over

your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength”

Being distressed, being bothered by small things instantly is terrible for discipline.

You have a goal, you’re working and then thoughts and distress about something external,

meaning it’s out of your control, de-rails you.

The best thing you can do in these circumstances is to apply Epictetus’ dichotomy of control.

Reinforce to yourself what is within your control and what is out of your control; if

you embrace what’s out of your control and accept it, you will experience tranquillity.

Refer to the following wording next time you’re distressed and distracted:

Do you have a problem in your life? No? ► Then don’t worry.

Yes? ► Can you do something about it?… Yes? ► Then don’t worry.

No? ► Then don’t worry.

6. Never Play the victim In the words of Marcus Aurelius “Do your

job, without whining”

Have you said any of these? “I was just born this way.” “I never learned anything

different.” “My parents set a terrible example.” “Everyone else does it.” What

are these? Excuses that people use to justify staying as they are instead of striving to

become better. You need to assume responsibility. The “why

me?” mentality is an enemy to mental toughness. You might not be at fault, but your life depends

on you determining what’s within your control and taking those things into your own hands.

You must train yourself to frame these things this way instead of immediately resorting

to self pity. It’s certainly easier to pawn off blame on others when something goes wrong.

But only those with a degree of mental fortitude are able to step up–even when it’s not

their fault–and right the ship. Be that person who steps in to take action, not the

one who looks the other way and casts blame. When you victimize yourself or your current

position, you relinquish control and absolve yourself of personal responsibility. And without

a sense of ownership, meaningful progress becomes an impossible task.

7. Practice Delayed Gratification In the words of Marcus Aurelius “So you

were born to feel ‘nice’? Instead of doings things and experiencing them? Don’t you

see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks,

putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as

a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?”

Delayed gratification involves the ability to wait to get what you want. Imagine a company

Christmas party when you encounter platters of delicious and tempting foods when you are

trying to lose weight. If you give in and fill up your plate with fattening goodies,

it might derail your diet, but you will get to enjoy a bit of instant gratification.

If you manage to resist and spend the evening eating salad and munching on carrot sticks,

then you will presumably receive an even greater reward down the line — shedding those unwanted

pounds and being able to fit into your favorite pair of skinny jeans.

This ability to resist temptation and stick to our goals is often referred to as self

discipline, and delaying gratification is often seen as a central part of this behavior.

We put off what we want now so that we can perhaps get something else, something better,

later on.

8. Ignore Naysayers Marcus Aurelius says “When another blames

you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside

and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked

with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you”

Whenever you step out from the norm, and declare (even if only to yourself) that you believe

that you have a special purpose in life, and that you are going to do whatever it takes

to achieve it, you will attract naysayers. Naysayers are the people who criticize, objects

to, or oppose something. The Naysayers just love to say nay. They might love you, but

they are afraid of progress so they are against everything and their opinions are just terrible

for your self discipline. You need to realise that allowing yourself to be upset by the

opinion of someone you don’t know or don’t respect is as foolish as getting upset about

the weather. It’s a waste of energy. Their voice does not deserve to be heard. Don’t

hand over your peace of mind to outsiders to disrupt as they please. You should actively

seek honest feedback from those you respect. But if someone just has a history of being

a naysayer, ignore them.

9. Find Wise People to emulate Marcus Aurelius says “It will even do to

socialize with men of good character, in order to model your life on theirs, whether you

choose someone living or someone from the past”

It’s time now to look outward for answers to help strengthen your self-discipline. Specifically,

let’s identify role models. Your role models could be your friends, family, colleagues

who have already achieved the goal you are working towards. Ask yourself:

Who is doing this right now? Who has successfully achieved this goal?

Who has successfully mastered this habit? Who has successfully made this change?

Who has the necessary self-discipline in this area?

What can I learn from this person that can help me along my journey?

Take time to ask these people how they disciplined themselves. Ask them how they followed through

with specific actions that got them their desired outcome. Then use their experience

to help you discipline yourself along your own personal journey.

10. Honestly review your day

In the words of Marcus Aurelius “These are the characteristics of the rational soul:

self-awareness, self-examination, and self- determination. It reaps its own harvest. . . . It

succeeds in its own purpose”. One of the best ways to become more disciplined

is to scrutinize yourself, and find your weak spots. Be brutally honest and use this time

to connect with your subconscious. Practicing evening retrospections on a consistent

basis will allow you to become more self-aware through every step of your day because you

will be actively gathering information to formulate and articulate constructive answers

to these questions. Ask yourself,

What did I do well today? Where were my discipline and self-control

tested, where did I do good? What did I do bad, why did this occur? And

Furthermore, how can I improve? Now you know how you can improve tomorrow.

But don’t beat yourself up. Be like Seneca and forgive yourself. Have some self-compassion.

Research shows that it’s forgiving yourself — not beating yourself up — that prevents

you from continuing to put things off. And don’t just be critical of yourself. Think

about what you did well so you can repeat it tomorrow. Be grateful for the good that

happened today.

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