'Dealing with Disappointment' | HANDLEBAR SESSIONS | EP. 14
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of The Handlebar Podcast, SB and Sarah Beth discuss dealing with disappointment from a faith-based perspective. They emphasize the importance of being honest with God about your feelings and trusting in His goodness. They share personal stories of how they navigated through disappointment by bringing their raw emotions to God and receiving His truth in return. The podcast also encourages listeners to engage with their content, visit their website for donations and merch, and submit questions for future episodes.
Takeaways
- 🌟 The Handlebar podcast is supported by donors and listeners can donate on their website.
- 🛍️ The website also features merchandise such as sweaters, tote bags, mugs, and beanies.
- ❓ Listeners can submit questions on the website, which are then addressed in the podcast.
- 💔 The episode discusses dealing with disappointment, citing Proverbs about hope deferred making the heart sick.
- 🙏 Encouragement to be honest with God about disappointments and to seek His touch for healing.
- 🎙️ Mention of a personal story about disappointment related to pregnancy, highlighting honesty with God.
- 📖 Reference to John 14, where Jesus talks to his disciples about handling sorrow and disappointment.
- 🧠 Discussion on the importance of processing disappointment to prevent bitterness.
- 👨👩👦 Comparison of talking to God with talking to a father, emphasizing the importance of expressing true feelings.
- 💬 Encouragement to bring one's true feelings and disappointments to God to receive His perspective and healing.
Q & A
What is the main theme discussed in the podcast episode?
-The main theme discussed in the podcast episode is dealing with disappointment and how to process it with faith and honesty.
Who asked the question about dealing with disappointment, and where are they from?
-The question about dealing with disappointment was asked by Ria, a 20-year-old from Chattanooga, Tennessee.
What Bible verse is mentioned in relation to disappointment?
-Proverbs 13:12 is mentioned, which says, 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.'
What personal example does Sarah Beth give regarding disappointment?
-Sarah Beth shares her experience of feeling disappointed when it took over a year to get pregnant with her daughter, Rosie.
How does Aaron relate disappointment to the story of Jesus and the disciples?
-Aaron relates disappointment to the story in John 14 where Jesus prepares his disciples for his departure, which would crush their expectations of him becoming king.
What analogy does Aaron use to describe unprocessed disappointment?
-Aaron uses the analogy of spoiled milk to describe unprocessed disappointment, saying it can get worse over time and lead to bitterness.
What did Sarah Beth's spiritual mentor advise her to do when dealing with disappointment?
-Sarah Beth's spiritual mentor advised her to be completely honest and unfiltered with God about her feelings of disappointment.
What significant experience did Sarah Beth have while expressing her disappointment to God?
-While expressing her disappointment to God, Sarah Beth experienced a breakthrough where she began praying in a new prayer language and felt delivered from her burdens.
What is the importance of honesty with God in dealing with disappointment, according to the hosts?
-The hosts emphasize that being honest with God about disappointment allows Him to meet us in our pain and provide healing and perspective.
What practical steps do the hosts suggest for dealing with disappointment?
-The hosts suggest getting alone with God, being honest about your feelings, and listening for His response and truth to replace lies you may believe.
Outlines
🌄 Introduction and Podcast Information
SB welcomes viewers from Park Cities, Utah, and introduces The Handlebar Podcast's YouTube channel. She highlights the support from donors and encourages viewers to visit their website to donate, check out merchandise like sweaters, tote bags, mugs, and beanies, and submit questions. She expresses excitement for the new podcast format, where they have ten-minute conversations. The discussion focuses on disappointment, citing Proverbs and sharing personal experiences of feeling disappointed, particularly in God, and encourages listeners to be real and honest with Him.
🌱 Processing Disappointment
The podcast hosts discuss how feeling disappointment is a sign of being alive and caring about something. They emphasize the importance of processing disappointment with God to avoid bitterness. Using an analogy of spoiled milk, they explain how unchecked disappointment can lead to negative emotions. The conversation highlights the need for true intimacy with God, comparing it to a child expressing disappointment to their father and receiving comfort and a better perspective in return.
🌳 Honesty with God
The hosts delve into the importance of honesty with God, even when it involves expressing anger and disappointment. They share personal anecdotes, including one about struggling with infertility, to illustrate how being real with God can lead to healing and a deeper understanding of His character. They discuss how God can handle raw emotions and desires our honesty, urging listeners to be vulnerable and open with Him to receive His perspective and healing.
🌺 Exchanging Lies for Truth
The discussion continues with an emphasis on how disappointment often reveals deeper lies we believe about God. The hosts stress the importance of bringing these lies to God and allowing Him to replace them with His truth. They cite Isaiah 61, which promises beauty for ashes and joy for mourning, and share how being honest with God about disappointment can lead to profound personal transformation and a closer relationship with Him. They encourage listeners to read Isaiah 61 and be open to God's healing and truth.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Disappointment
💡Hope deferred
💡Honesty with God
💡Spiritual apathy
💡Father's perspective
💡Beauty for ashes
💡Tree of life
💡Processing sorrow
💡Prayer language
💡Healing
Highlights
Introduction to The Handlebar podcast and its support from donors.
Mention of the podcast's website where listeners can donate and purchase merchandise.
Introduction of the podcast format, focusing on 10-minute conversations.
Discussion of a question from a listener, Ria, about dealing with disappointment.
Exploration of disappointment in relation to spiritual beliefs, including references to Proverbs and personal experiences.
Importance of being honest with God about disappointment and personal struggles.
Example of disappointment when trying to get pregnant and the feelings of disbelief in God's goodness.
Discussion of Jesus' teachings on disappointment and how to process sorrow.
Analogy comparing unresolved disappointment to spoiled milk.
Personal story of dealing with disappointment in sports and receiving encouragement from a parent.
Insight on bringing shame and disappointment to God to receive His perspective and healing.
Emphasis on the shared human experience of disappointment and the need for vulnerability with God.
Encouragement to be honest with God and to bring personal struggles to Him for healing.
Personal story of finding freedom through expressing raw emotions to God.
Conclusion with a prayer for listeners struggling with disappointment and those seeking a relationship with God.
Transcripts
hey guys it's SB I'm in the beautiful
Park Cities Utah look at that and I
wanted to welcome you to our YouTube
channel I wanted to let you know that we
are supported by donors so if you've
been blessed by our podcast and any way
you can go to our website The Handlebar
podcast.com and you can donate there
also on our website we have really cool
merch so go ahead and check that out as
well we have cool sweaters tote bags
mugs beanies name it and then if you
want to submit a question to us you can
also do that at the website so thanks
for tuning in and we love you bye
Welcome to The Handlebar
podcast hey guys welcome back to The
Handlebar podcast this is
sessions where it's just two of us yeah
um we do 10minute conversation and we do
this for you guys we're really excited
about this um format and so I'm excited
to do this with Sarah Beth last time we
did this it was really powerful yeah um
we talked about like spiritual apathy MH
and the Lord just really showed up
showed up makes sense I think he cares
about that yeah yeah so let's see what
we're going to talk about today uh we
have Aaron he's gonna ask us our
question all right here's a question how
do you deal with
disappointment this is from Ria who's 20
years old and lives in Chattanooga
Tennessee how do you deal with
disappointment
wow it's a broad question yeah it's a
it's a good one yeah all right let me
start the
timer disappointed have you ever been
disappointed yes the first thing I think
of is a verse in Proverbs that says hope
deferred makes the heart sick that's
right but a desire fulfilled is a tree
of life so I think the first thing that
comes to mind is if you're disappointed
more more than likely especially if
you're disappointed with God your heart
is sick and needs to be touched by him
yes and so I want to encourage people if
you're in the middle of disappointment
know that a desire fulfilled is coming
and it will be like a tree of life to
you but I think the main thing I've
learned
through feeling disappointed is that I'm
not actually disappointed in whatever
situation is before me whether it be a
relationship that was lost a job that I
didn't get a thing like uh when I wanted
to get pregnant so bad with Rosie and it
took over a year W I was disappointed in
all those things but there was a deeper
thing going on in my heart that I was
disappointed with God and not only
disappointed but like didn't believe
that he was actually good yes so I think
if you're dealing with deep
disappointment and you think it's
towards someone or in a situation I'm
not saying those things aren't valid but
I am saying check your heart with the
Lord and you know we sing that song
you're never going to let me down I've
sang that so many times being like I
feel like you have let me down but he
can handle that he can handle that and
I've learned that when I'm real with him
instead of just you
know saying the right things and hoping
to believe the right thing about him but
when I'm real with him and I say Lord
I'm disappointed let's just say I'm
disappointed that it took me it's taking
me so long to get pregnant this is in
the past with Rosie um it's it's like he
can handle that he can handle me saying
like I don't really think you're going
to come through I don't think you're
good why because he shows me who he is
his character um so I know I just dove
in real deep real fast but we got 10
minutes so why not I I think it's crazy
because this
conversation is really connected to
being honest with God right I think I
mean I'm thinking of our pastor who
teaches about
disappointment from John 14 where Jesus
is talking to the disciples he's having
this conversation with them before
basically all their dreams are going to
get crushed is what it looks like is
they're having this idea that Jesus is
going to become king he's been preaching
about a kingdom they're going to rule
and reign with him and they have these
ideas that this is actually going to
happen and he's going to die crazy a
very different thing is going to happen
and Jesus is with them right before he
dies and is like hey guys I'm going to
turn there I'm leaving yep I'm going to
go say don't let your heart and he says
don't let your heart to be troubled and
and he also promises that some crazy
stuff is going to happen but he says I'm
going to my father's house and you know
the way to where I'm going so there's he
gives this basically this way to process
your sorrow and I think what happens a
lot is we get disappointed it's normal
kids get disappoint
appointed
um it that's not a bad thing it's
actually good that you get disappointed
or you get sad because it means you
cared about something your heart is
alive if you're never getting
disappointed you're afraid of getting
disappointed so you're just like oh no
that doesn't affect me like I'm not I'm
not offended by that or anything that's
a sign to me that you've actually shut
off a lot of your heart towards desire
because you're afraid of being affected
by things yeah that's good but there's a
way to deal with disappointment and
that's what Jesus is is after right here
because Jesus understands the heart yeah
and he he recognizes that if that
disappointment stays there unchecked and
is never processed with the Lord yeah
it's going to get really nasty yeah it's
like an open door to just going downhill
bitterness and bitterness yes because
it's it's like
milk okay tell me about that well like
if if milk goes bad like one day you
just got to throw it out or whatever
right but the longer you leave it in
there it just gets weird and that's what
happens to our hearts when we don't when
we don't deal with the sadness or feel
the sadness of a moment and we just
think no like it'll be fine and it's not
going to be fine they start to get sour
like spoiled milk then they start
growing other things like spoiled milk
that's so true I can I can think back in
my own life of times where I thought I
was big enough to just say you know this
this I'm going to be fine
God that does not work no that does not
it's not true intimacy it's not like
it's not true relationship with our
father like I'm thinking about if I if
I'm going to my dad let's let's just say
I think actually this happened in real
life like so many conversations with my
dad I was a volleyball player growing up
and if we would lose I wouldn't on the
way home I wouldn't just be like oh
whatever it's fine like I'm I'm good I'm
happy Dad let's go eat lunch I'd be like
man I'm so disappointed I wanted to win
so bad dad and he would always have a
better word for me but you did so good
you were so consistent on the court you
were it's like making me emotional
thinking about it cuz it's like when I
am real with my father he always has a
better word for me when I'm saying God
I'm disappointed about this like I'll
never forget I was so disappointed that
I wasn't pregnant yet with my first baby
and I went to church one night I like
laid on the altar gave it all to God
thought it was gone right the
disappointment I get a text from someone
right when I'm getting in my car that
like a family member is pregnant wow and
it's so funny to think about now cuz I'm
going to have my third kid and I'm like
whoa but in the moment it was very real
for me and I I felt that little like
twinge of first of all like are you
kidding me Lord I just gave this to you
this is an absolute joke and so I knew I
was still really sick in my heart
because I was angry all the things and
um and I remember just crying in my car
after I got that text and being like God
I I don't I don't think you're going to
do this for me yeah and I just saw a
picture of him like my dad when I would
tell him about those those
disappointments in the volleyball games
just kind of understanding an
understanding look but like smiling eyes
of like oh if you could only see what
was coming like when I would tell my dad
about those the disappointment with my
volleyball games little did I know that
I would play in college one day and I
would get to go play volleyball in China
and I would get to do all these crazy
things but it's like my father knows he
sees he sees all of my potential he sees
all of the good plans that he has for me
so he's listening he sees the truth so
he's listening and he's invested but
he's also like oh but it's going to be
so good I promise you know and so I
think this is a lot about being honest
with God because she's asking how to
deal with disappointment be honest with
God yes be honest with your father and
if you don't know your father if you
don't have a relationship we'll pray for
you at the end and you will I want to
say too this is a a so shared human
thing everyone everyone shares
disappointment yes it's you're not like
because anyone who hopes is disappointed
o that's good but what I think of I'm
thinking of the garden and this is the
first the first in like situation that
this happens is they fail and they
decide we're not going to tell God that
this happens we're not going to tell go
God about these bad feelings we have or
what we did and what it prevented was
Adam and Eve prevented themsel from
receiving the gift of the father's
perspective wow and Jesus came to
restore that he said he said the spirit
of the Lord's upon me and he quoted
Isaiah 61 and that's like what I keep
thinking about as you're talking because
the promise of Isaiah 61 is Beauty for
Ashes is joy for mourning is a double
portion of Honor instead of your
shame in order in order for you to
receive that you've got to bring what
you have yeah it doesn't just happen
it's a double portion of Honor instead
of your shame that means you've got to
bring your shame that is I think a lot
of times what happens with
disappointment is we're kind of like oh
no God is good like I don't have shame I
don't have ashes I'm good like but
there's no beauty without the ashes
right you have to you have to bring that
in order to receive the father's
perspective what's true because a lot of
times your ashes look like God's not
good yeah based on this situation I
believe God's not a good father and it's
not like he's offended by that we said
this in the beginning but he can handle
that and not just that he replaces the
lie with truth something that my like um
counselor our marriage counselor has
taught us is when when the LIE is
exposed unless you say the LIE is God's
not good yeah right he's so eager to
restore that with the truth so what you
do is you're like okay this is the lie
I'm believing Jesus what's your truth
yes and he immediately speaks and not
just you know with I don't know it's
like it's not just words it is his word
that he speaks but it's like it's living
and it's active it's Hebrews 4:12 his
word is alive it's active it's sharper
than a double-edged sword and um I think
that is what has got me through
disappointment is hearing his voice in
the moment of the disappointment and
like you said not pretending like it's
not there yes our pastor will say
something all the time as what are you
like pretending not to know when you
teach us about heart health and you're
just like you know what are you
pretending not to know and um I think in
the Christian World especially in the
Bible Bell in Dallas yeah it's like
God's good brother amen you know and
sometimes I'm like oh there's the timer
I don't I don't feel that way and it it
took me gosh like probably 20 21 years
of my life to get to a place where I
could sit alone in a room and like just
let it all out before God because I
thought I wasn't allowed to I don't even
know why it's a spirit it's a spirit of
religion that's trying to be good enough
for God yes and it's just like it puts
on a nice that man it doesn't work yeah
yeah I'll tell one story real quick we
get into handlebars I remember I was
dealing with a lot of disappointment uh
right after we got married not towards
Aaron he's amazing but I had
fantasized um My Wedding Marriage having
a baby like there was just all a big
fantasy to me I didn't know it was but I
had like idolized all of that so about 3
months after we got married all of the
wedding was over the um honeymoon
everything and I I just was depressed
honestly I was like this isn't what I
thought it would be I'm struggling I was
also going through so much in my heart
with the Lord getting free of so many
things so it was just a lot going on but
the core of it was disappointment and I
remember I called my spiritual mama and
I was like I'm just you know unloading
and she's like I'm going to work and
she's like call your boss tell her I'm
going to be just just a couple minutes
late check and see if that's okay so I
did and it was and I went into the
parking garage and she's like I want you
to tell the Lord everything you're
telling me but completely unfiltered and
I was like I don't even know how to do
that so I hung up the phone and I'm like
Hing myself I'm I'm like three two 1 you
got the serath you know cuz if you've
never talked to God that way alone
specifically it feels so awkward and
like it feels wrong it feels wrong like
I'm not supposed to do this I'm supposed
to be a good Christian which uh makes me
nauseous but I'm sitting there and I'm
like okay here we go and I start yelling
and I kid you not probably I don't know
a minute into what I'm telling the Lord
I'm yelling in another language and I
had already like received the gift of a
prayer language but this was another
language like I don't know what happened
but I got like another tongue to pray
the perfect will of God over my life um
and I still don't know what I said but I
got delivered and so I'm just saying not
that that will happen to you every
single time if you do that but what I'm
saying is God met me in my
disappointment he met me in the
unloading everything that I had never
told him that I believed about him and
he put his words inside of me to pray
for me which sounds crazy but it
happened and so that's right why do I
share that I share that because if you
have not had a moment like that with God
I dare you to do it see what happen
he's your father he loves you so much he
wants to answer you what is that your
hand that would be my handlebar yes is
just to get alone with
God
and if you've
never been super honest with him for me
it was like yelling cussing all the
things that I never thought I should do
and it was so freeing and anyway so get
along with the Lord and be real and then
listen to what he has to say about the
disappointment in your heart and watch
your heart be healed yes yeah what's
your handlebar that's so so good um I
just am thinking about what you're
saying about my life how I've related to
disappointment and how you're talking
about it's about truth and lies the
disappointment isn't why you thought God
isn't good it exposed that you already
had a belief that God wasn't good that
is so good and that's what's happened in
my life is these beliefs often times
come into our hearts when we're kids oh
yeah and then we learn we we learn a lot
of like religious rhetoric or things to
kind of like work around them bandaids
on it but God has his eyes set on those
things he has his eyes set on
eight-year-old Rafi on 10-year-old Sarah
beta was playing volleyball and he's
like I want that that one is mine and I
want to take that belief and give you a
new one and so I think my handlebar my
first handlebar would probably be what
you said is just honesty we we did an
episode on this
God desires our vulnerability more than
almost anything else Psalms 51 says that
the desire of his heart the sacrifice
that he desires is a broken heart and a
contrite spirit which to me tells me God
wants us to be honest with him he
doesn't want us to say the right things
but I would encourage
you who are watching this who are being
stirred by what sarth is saying to read
Psalm uh Isaiah 61 and read specifically
about the parts where God is exchanging
what we have for what he has because
disappointment can actually become a
meeting place where you receive a gift
from God that's so good what you thought
was actually what would destroy your
life or what is what was wrong with you
can become the place where you learn a
whole new thing about God and he changes
your life so that's my handle so good um
I want to pray for anyone who is
struggling with disappointment you feel
like your hearts become sick or you're
overwhelmed thinking man I can't heal my
heart because that's just the point you
can't but the Lord is going to and I
also want to pray for those who feel
like they've never encountered the
father yeah um because he
is the remedy he's way more than that
but that's all that's coming out of my
mouth right now so um he's the answer
he's everything for your sick heart so
Lord I just thank you for everyone
listening um to this right now watching
this right now and um for any one who
struggled with disappointment um I feel
like I just see a picture of of lots of
childhood memories coming up and so if
the holy spirit's doing that just allow
him to do that and go into that memory
even if it's painful because I Promise
You Jesus is waiting to show you where
he was in that painful memory and um
disappointment can become such a lie of
the enemy um it's not a lie that you are
disappointed but holding on to it can
invite so many lies and so I just thank
you Lord that anyone that's struggling
with with a a a sick Heart Lord that you
would just give them a picture or a
vision right now of the light at the end
of the tunnel that's what I feel the
Lord saying there's a light at the end
of the tunnel your heart won't always be
sick but I need you to come to me son I
need you to come to me daughter and so I
pray for anyone who hasn't had an
encounter with the father God I just
pray anyone who's listening to this in
their car that you would just begin to
fill them with your love God I just see
like a bucket of liquid love pouring out
and I thank you Lord that it would just
run through through our veins right now
I feel your presence right now father
and so I thank you that you can handle
anything that we have to bring to you
and you want our broken and contrite
Hearts you don't want sacrifices or
burnt offerings you want our hearts so
we love you Lord in Jesus name amen
amen forgot to end love you guys love
you guys thanks for watching thanks for
watching oh my
gosh hi I'm Maggie berlander I'm from
jackville Florida and I'm a listener of
The Handlebar podcast one thing I love
about the podcast is how real it feels
to me I feel like every time I listen it
speaks into a lot of topics that I don't
hear from a lot of other podcasts and so
every time I just am reminded how
authentic it feels to me um and so if
you love this podcast too you should
like And subscribe and send it to a
friend your family your crush all the
people that's
it not at all actually I want to you r
that part yeah because I think okay
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