The $50,000 beer: why very attractive women aren't on dating apps

PsycHacks
5 Jul 202417:44

Summary

TLDRIn this episode, Dr. Orion terban delves into the economics of dating, explaining why successful men may opt for escorts over traditional dating. He argues that the time, money, and emotional investment required in conventional relationships often yield uncertain returns, making the straightforward transaction of escort services a more cost-effective alternative. This perspective challenges societal norms and prompts a reevaluation of dating dynamics, suggesting that scarcity versus abundance mentality significantly influences personal choices in the dating market.

Takeaways

  • 💰 The script discusses the high costs of traditional dating for successful men, comparing it to the perceived value of a '50,000 dollar beer'.
  • 📉 It suggests that as a man's success increases, so does the financial and time investment in dating, which can be economically inefficient.
  • đŸš¶â€â™€ïž The speaker argues that women who 'take it slow' in dating are not appealing to successful men due to the high opportunity cost involved.
  • đŸ€” The script implies that women who have specific rules about dating and sex may be overvaluing their time and attention in the dating market.
  • 💾 It provides a hypothetical example where the cost of dating can escalate to an unrealistic amount if a woman insists on a certain number of dates before becoming intimate.
  • đŸš« The speaker advises against 'playing hard to get' when a high-value man shows interest, as it could lead to missed opportunities.
  • 💔 The script highlights the frustration successful men may feel in traditional dating due to the lack of guarantee for a satisfying outcome.
  • đŸ’Œ It contrasts the idea of hiring escorts as a more cost-effective solution for successful men, solving many of the issues they face in conventional dating.
  • đŸ’Č The average cost of hiring a sex worker is presented as significantly lower than the potential costs of traditional dating, especially for high earners.
  • 🔄 The concept of 'abundance mentality' is introduced, suggesting that successful individuals should delegate tasks to free up their time for more lucrative activities.
  • đŸ€ The script concludes that successful men may prefer the straightforwardness and efficiency of hiring escorts over the uncertainties and costs of traditional dating.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk?

    -The main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk is the economic perspective on why successful men may choose to use escorts, referring to it as the '50,000 dollar beer' scenario.

  • What does the term '50,000 dollar beer' imply in the context of the talk?

    -The term '50,000 dollar beer' implies the high opportunity cost of engaging in a casual date, especially for individuals with high value or success, where the cost of the date is far greater than the actual expense.

  • What is the relationship between a man's success and the expenses associated with dating?

    -According to the talk, the expenses associated with dating increase with a man's success, making traditional dating prohibitively expensive due to the time, attention, and financial investment required without a guarantee of a sexual encounter or mutual interest.

  • Why does Dr. Orion terban suggest that women should be sexually generous with men they are interested in?

    -Dr. Orion terban suggests that women should be sexually generous because expecting time, attention, emotion, and provision without providing sex in return is a one-sided and expensive proposition in the dating game.

  • What does Dr. Orion terban argue about the dating strategies of older women?

    -Dr. Orion terban argues that the dating strategy of taking things slow is less effective for older women compared to younger women, as it can make the relationship more expensive and less attractive to successful men.

  • What is the economic reality that successful men face when dating according to the script?

    -The economic reality is that successful men have to spend a significant amount of time, energy, and money on dating, often without a guarantee of a sexual encounter or mutual interest, which makes traditional dating a less attractive option for them.

  • Why does Dr. Orion terban believe that successful men are not likely to date women who make them wait for sex?

    -Dr. Orion terban believes that successful men are not likely to date such women because it represents an expensive investment of time and money with no guarantee of a satisfactory outcome, which is not a rational use of their resources.

  • What is the scarcity mentality and how does it differ from the abundance mentality?

    -The scarcity mentality focuses on counting dollars spent and saved by doing tasks oneself, while the abundance mentality focuses on counting hours spent and the money saved by delegating tasks to others, aiming to free up time to earn more.

  • How does the script suggest that hiring an escort can be more cost-effective for successful men?

    -The script suggests that hiring an escort can be more cost-effective because it solves the problems of time investment, rejection, and uncertainty associated with traditional dating, and provides a guaranteed sexual encounter at a relatively lower cost compared to the potential expenses of dating.

  • What is the difference between the dating experiences of average men and successful men according to the script?

    -The script suggests that average men might not mind the expenses and efforts of traditional dating, while successful men find it less appealing due to the high opportunity cost and the abundance of other options that provide a greater return on their investment of time and money.

  • Why does the script mention that very attractive women are less likely to be found on dating apps?

    -The script mentions that very attractive women, like successful men, do not date conventionally because they have too many high-value options and invitations, making traditional dating too expensive in terms of opportunity cost.

  • What is the conclusion of the talk regarding the dating habits of successful men?

    -The conclusion is that successful men may prefer using escorts over traditional dating due to the cost-effectiveness, convenience, and the guaranteed satisfaction that this option provides, which aligns with their abundance mentality.

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