It took me 20+ years to realize what I'll tell you in 15 minutes…

Summary

In this powerful video, Chris Carr reflects on the lessons learned from living with stage 4 cancer for over 20 years. She shares the wisdom passed down by her father, urging viewers to stop waiting for the 'perfect moment' to live fully. Emphasizing the importance of living in the present, Chris encourages us to embrace 'golden moments' every day, regardless of life's uncertainties. She offers practical steps, like creating a 'more like this' list and taking micro-steps toward joy, to help viewers stop postponing happiness and start living a more meaningful life now.

Takeaways

• 😀 We often wait for the 'right time' to start living, but life may never feel perfectly ready—don't wait for golden years, they may not come as expected.
• 😀 Living with a major health challenge, like stage 4 cancer, has led the speaker to embrace life more fully and focus on what truly matters.
• 😀 The real work in life isn't waking up once to the truth—it's learning to continually return to yourself and what you value.
• 😀 A conversation with the speaker’s father about his regret over postponing life’s joys underscores the danger of waiting for ‘the right time’.
• 😀 The speaker’s father expressed regret for not enjoying life more during the 'golden years' and urged the speaker to make now their golden years instead.
• 😀 In order to live more intentionally, the speaker suggests creating a 'More Like This' list, which outlines the things you want to prioritize in your daily life.
• 😀 We often wait for permission to live our lives in a fulfilling way, but we need to give ourselves that permission instead of waiting for external validation.
• 😀 Instead of waiting for the right moment or when things get easier, we should take small steps toward what truly matters now, no matter how imperfect our circumstances are.
• 😀 Asking better questions, like 'What do I need now to feel supported?' can help shift your focus from spinning out in frustration to taking meaningful action.
• 😀 Joy is not the reward at the end of a perfectly completed path. It can be found in the small, meaningful moments throughout the day, even amid challenges or discomfort.
• 😀 The speaker’s father’s choice to do a facial despite being in hospice exemplifies how we can choose joy and dignity in our daily lives, regardless of circumstances.

Q & A

What does the speaker mean by 'make now your golden years'?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of living fully in the present, instead of waiting for a future 'perfect' moment or ideal circumstances. By making now your golden years, you choose to embrace life, joy, and fulfillment right now, without postponing them for an imagined future time.

Why does the speaker mention that the golden years might never come?

The speaker reflects on the idea that life may not always unfold as we expect. The 'golden years,' often associated with retirement or a time of ease, might never happen—or if they do, they may not look the way we imagine. Therefore, it is crucial not to wait for them but to create meaningful moments now.

How did the speaker’s father impact their perspective on life and living fully?

The speaker's father, especially in his final years, taught them profound lessons about not waiting for perfect moments. His reflections on regret, and his choice to still find joy and dignity in small acts, like doing a facial despite being in hospice, helped the speaker understand the value of embracing life as it is, rather than postponing happiness.

What is the 'more like this' list, and why is it important?

The 'more like this' list is a personal tool to help identify the activities and moments that make you feel most like yourself and bring joy into your life. It’s important because it encourages you to prioritize these moments in your daily life, starting now, rather than waiting for a future time when life might feel easier or more fulfilling.

Why does the speaker advise against waiting for clarity before taking action?

The speaker highlights that waiting for clarity or the 'right time' often leads to inaction. Instead of waiting to feel ready or for the perfect moment, the speaker encourages taking small steps toward what matters now, which helps you build momentum and clarity through action, rather than waiting for everything to be figured out first.

What role do 'better questions' play in the speaker’s approach to life?

Asking 'better questions' is a key practice for shifting from confusion or regret into action. The speaker suggests focusing on 'what' questions, like 'What do I need right now?' or 'What would future me thank me for doing today?' These questions help to move forward and shift perspective, especially during difficult times, avoiding the trap of endlessly asking 'why' questions that don’t lead to resolution.

How does the speaker define 'joy' in the context of their life lessons?

The speaker defines joy not as something that comes after reaching a perfect or ideal point in life, but as something that can exist even amidst difficulty. Joy is seen as a key part of the journey, not a reward at the end. It’s about choosing to find moments of happiness and meaning, no matter the circumstances.

What does the speaker mean by 'make golden moments throughout your day'?

This concept encourages creating meaningful, joyful moments in everyday life, rather than waiting for a perfect time. A 'golden moment' doesn’t need to be grand or complicated—it’s simply a moment where you choose to engage fully with life, find connection, and create a sense of purpose or joy.

Why is the idea of not needing to feel 'better' to feel good significant in the speaker’s story?

The speaker’s father, despite his failing health, demonstrated that you don’t have to wait for things to be perfect or for you to feel 'better' before choosing to enjoy life. This message is significant because it challenges the idea that we must wait for ideal conditions before allowing ourselves to experience joy or take action.

How does the speaker suggest overcoming the temptation to wait for the 'right time'?

The speaker advises not to wait for a mythical 'right time' but to start small—taking one micro-step towards what matters most, even if things aren’t perfect. The speaker suggests stopping the cycle of waiting for permission and instead giving yourself the freedom to act now, whether it’s through sending a text, taking a walk, or speaking your truth.