Beyond Conviction | Independent Lens | PBS

Independent Lens
6 Jan 202226:42

Summary

TLDRThe video script narrates the journey of a rural prosecutor who initially lacked understanding of family violence until a tragic case in 2009 opened his eyes. Set in Vernon, Texas, it details his transformation, the community's struggle with domestic abuse, and the establishment of intervention programs to break the cycle of violence. It highlights the importance of expert testimony, the complexity of victim behavior, and the proactive role of law enforcement and nonprofits in providing support and education to both victims and perpetrators.

Takeaways

  • 📚 The speaker initially had limited understanding of family violence, which changed dramatically after a case in 2009 deeply affected them.
  • 🏘️ Vernon, a small rural community in Texas, is the speaker's hometown and where they serve as a district attorney, highlighting the importance of community connection in their role.
  • 👨‍⚖️ As a Democrat in a predominantly conservative area, the speaker values accessibility and being approachable to the people they serve.
  • 👶 The tragic case of 5-year-old Kati Earnest's death was a turning point for the speaker, who realized the extent of family violence and their previous misguided approach to such cases.
  • 🤔 The speaker grappled with the false confession of the victim's mother, which led to a deeper investigation into the perpetrator's history and the systemic issue of domestic violence.
  • 🔎 The investigation into the case revealed a pattern of abuse by the perpetrator, Tommy Castro, across multiple states, emphasizing the need for a more proactive approach to dealing with domestic violence.
  • 👥 The speaker sought the expertise of a licensed professional counselor with experience in domestic violence to educate themselves and others about the dynamics of abuse.
  • 📈 The script discusses the effectiveness of batterers intervention and prevention programs, which aim to break the cycle of domestic violence by addressing the root causes.
  • 👮‍♂️ The speaker's realization of the need for a more proactive role in preventing crime led to the creation of a nonprofit organization offering batterers intervention programs.
  • 👩‍🏫 The importance of education within these programs is highlighted, focusing on teaching about healthy relationships and challenging abusive behaviors.
  • 👨‍👧‍👦 The speaker reflects on the long-term impact of their work, hoping to create a generational change by teaching children in abusive homes to recognize and reject such behavior.

Q & A

  • What was the speaker's initial understanding of family violence before the 2009 case?

    -The speaker admits that they didn't really know anything about family violence and had a misguided mindset about it before the 2009 case brought the issue home to them.

  • What is the significance of Vernon, Texas, in the speaker's life?

    -Vernon is the speaker's hometown, where they grew up and later returned to practice law with their father. It's also where they were elected as a district attorney, and they appreciate the close community ties.

  • What was the turning point for the speaker in their approach to family violence cases?

    -The turning point was the case involving Tommy Castro in 2009, which led the speaker to realize the extent of their previous mistakes in handling such cases and the need to take them more seriously.

  • Why did the mother of the victim, Kati Earnest, give a false confession?

    -The mother gave a false confession because Tommy Castro had so much control over her that he convinced her to take the blame for the crime, threatening to kill her or her other child if she didn't.

  • What role did the expert on family violence play in the trial?

    -The expert on family violence was crucial in educating the speaker, the jury, and others involved in the trial about the dynamics of family violence, the power and control the abuser had over the victim, and why the victim behaved the way she did.

  • What challenges did the speaker face in trying to find an expert on family violence?

    -The speaker had to reach out to First Step, a family violence program in Wichita Falls, to find a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience in counseling victims of domestic violence.

  • What is the Texoma Alliance to Stop Abuse, and what does it do?

    -The Texoma Alliance to Stop Abuse is a nonprofit organization that the speaker helped form to operate a batterers intervention and prevention program, aiming to break the cycle of domestic violence.

  • How does the batterers intervention prevention program work?

    -The program involves educating abusers about healthy relationships, abusive behaviors, and their beliefs and intentions behind such actions. It encourages open and honest conversations to help them understand and change their behavior.

  • What is the significance of the high-risk team for domestic violence cases?

    -The high-risk team, supported by a grant, is a collaborative effort between prosecutors, police, and advocates to push services onto victims, ensuring they receive the help they need during a critical and dangerous time in their lives.

  • What is EMDR, and how is it used in the context of helping victims of domestic violence?

    -EMDR, or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, is a therapeutic approach that helps process trauma by engaging both the left and right brain, similar to REM sleep. It's used to help victims deal with and overcome the traumatic experiences they've had.

  • What steps are taken to ensure the safety of victims after they leave an abusive situation?

    -Victims are provided with safety plans, assistance in getting protective orders, and support from advocates to ensure their ongoing safety and to help them navigate the legal and emotional challenges they face after leaving an abusive relationship.

  • What is the long-term goal of the speaker in addressing domestic violence in their community?

    -The speaker aims to create systemic changes in the community to address domestic violence more effectively, with the hope that children growing up in homes with educated and changed parents will not perpetuate the cycle of abuse in the future.

Outlines

00:00

🏛️ Prosecutor's Awakening to Family Violence

The script begins with a prosecutor reflecting on their initial lack of understanding about family violence during their early career in 2006. It was a case in 2009 that deeply affected them, leading to a realization of their previous misconceptions. The setting is Vernon, a small rural town in Texas, where the prosecutor grew up and returned to practice law with their father. The narrative shifts to a tragic incident involving the death of a 5-year-old girl, Kati Earnest, allegedly beaten to death by Tommy Castro, her mother's boyfriend. The mother's false confession to protect her other child and herself from Castro's threats highlights the manipulative power abusers can exert over their victims.

05:02

📚 Seeking Expertise in Family Violence

The prosecutor, recognizing the complexity of family violence cases, seeks the expertise of a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience in domestic violence. The counselor, herself a survivor, educates the prosecutor and the jury on the dynamics of domestic violence, including the reasons why victims often cannot simply 'leave' the situation. The counselor explains the logistical challenges, financial dependence, and isolation victims face, which make leaving a difficult and complex decision. The prosecutor emphasizes the importance of utilizing experts in domestic violence cases, even suggesting that local resources like university professors or trained police officers can serve as expert witnesses to help juries understand victim behavior.

10:07

🛡️ Establishing a Batterers Intervention Program

Having witnessed the cycle of domestic violence, the prosecutor is motivated to establish a batterers intervention and prevention program. This initiative aims to break the cycle by working with offenders to understand and change their abusive behaviors. The program involves group sessions that discuss healthy relationships and self-improvement. Participants, including a man who initially denies being an abuser, engage in introspection and begin to recognize their actions as abusive. The program appears to have a transformative effect on some individuals, encouraging them to change their behavior and attitudes towards relationships.

15:08

🚨 The High-Risk Reality of Domestic Violence

The script delves into the high-risk nature of domestic violence, particularly during the period when victims attempt to leave their abusers. It discusses the role of a domestic-violence high-risk team, which includes prosecutors, police, and advocates, working together to provide support and services to victims. The team's approach is proactive, ensuring that victims receive the help they need without having to navigate the system alone. The narrative includes a case of a woman who has been strangled by her partner, illustrating the team's response to high-risk situations and their efforts to ensure the victim's safety and access to resources.

20:13

👣 Supporting Victims on the Path to Healing

This paragraph focuses on the support provided to victims of domestic violence as they navigate the process of healing and recovery. It includes the use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to help victims process traumatic experiences. The narrative provides a first-person account of a victim recounting a violent incident and the therapeutic process that follows. The goal is to help victims overcome their trauma, reduce fear, and regain control over their lives. The importance of timely intervention and ongoing support is emphasized, as is the challenge of rebuilding trust and ensuring ongoing safety.

25:15

🌱 Fostering Change for Future Generations

The final paragraph reflects on the long-term impact of addressing domestic violence, with a vision of creating a future where children grow up in non-abusive environments. It highlights the hope that children will learn from their parents' participation in intervention programs and will not perpetuate cycles of abuse. The script stresses the importance of systemic change and community efforts to prevent domestic violence. It concludes with a call to action, emphasizing that every day counts in the fight against domestic violence and that immediate steps are crucial to prevent future incidents.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Prosecutor

A prosecutor is a legal representative of the prosecution in a criminal case, responsible for presenting the case against the accused in court. In the video, the narrator is a prosecutor who initially lacked understanding of family violence until a specific case in 2009 changed his perspective, highlighting the role of a prosecutor in addressing such crimes.

💡Family Violence

Family violence refers to physical, sexual, psychological, or economic abuse occurring within the family setting, including intimate partner violence, child abuse, and elder abuse. The video's theme revolves around the narrator's journey in recognizing and combating family violence, particularly after a tragic case involving a 5-year-old girl named Kati Earnest.

💡False Confession

A false confession is a statement in which a person confesses to a crime they did not commit, often due to coercion or manipulation. In the script, Kati's mother gave a false confession to protect herself and her other child from further harm by the actual perpetrator, Tommy Castro.

💡Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior by one partner against another in an intimate relationship, such as physical aggression, psychological abuse, or controlling behaviors. The video discusses the complexities of domestic violence cases, including the challenges of prosecution and the need for intervention programs.

💡Expert Witness

An expert witness is a person with specialized knowledge who provides testimony in court to assist the judge or jury in understanding complex issues. In the video, the prosecutor seeks an expert on family violence to educate the court and jury about the dynamics of such cases, emphasizing the importance of expert testimony in understanding the nuances of domestic abuse.

💡Batterers Intervention Program

A batterers intervention program is a therapeutic approach aimed at helping perpetrators of domestic violence recognize and change their abusive behaviors. The video discusses the establishment of such a program by the narrator, illustrating a shift from reactive to proactive measures in addressing domestic violence.

💡High-Risk Team

A high-risk team is a specialized group that focuses on providing support and intervention for victims of domestic violence who are at an elevated risk of harm. The script mentions the creation of a high-risk team involving prosecutors, police, and advocates, showcasing a collaborative approach to victim support.

💡EMDR

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a psychotherapeutic technique used to alleviate distress associated with traumatic memories. In the script, EMDR is used to help a victim process her traumatic experience of being choked by her partner, demonstrating a method of psychological support for victims of domestic violence.

💡Protective Order

A protective order is a legal order issued by a court to protect a victim from harassment, abuse, or contact by the offender. The video script refers to a protective order being violated by the offender, indicating the ongoing risk faced by victims and the legal measures in place to protect them.

💡Strangulation

Strangulation is the act of constricting someone's breathing by applying pressure to the neck, which can be a form of domestic violence with potentially fatal consequences. The script describes a case of strangulation, highlighting the severity of this form of abuse and its implications for the victim's safety.

💡Accountability

Accountability refers to the obligation to report, explain, and be responsible for one's actions. In the context of the video, holding offenders accountable is a central goal of the high-risk team and the justice system, emphasizing the need for perpetrators to face consequences for their actions.

Highlights

The prosecutor's change in perspective on family violence after a case in 2009, realizing the severity of the issue and their previous misguided thoughts.

Vernon, a small rural community in Texas, is the setting where the prosecutor grew up and where the case that changed his views took place.

The prosecutor's background includes working in Washington, D.C., joining the Peace Corps, and eventually returning to Vernon to practice law.

Election as a district attorney in 2006 and the significance of being a Democrat in a rural Texas community.

The importance of a prosecutor being connected to the community they serve, as illustrated by the prosecutor's relationship with the people of Vernon.

The tragic case of 5-year-old Kati Earnest, who was beaten to death, and the unusual aspect of her mother giving a false confession.

The prosecutor's initial reluctance to take the case seriously due to the mother's false confession and the subsequent change in approach.

The discovery of Tommy Castro's history of violence and the realization of the prosecutor's previous leniency towards abusers.

The personal impact of the case on the prosecutor, with parallels drawn between his own 5-year-old son and the victim, Kati.

The challenge of prosecuting a case where the victim is manipulated into confessing to protect her abuser.

The search for an expert on family violence to educate and testify in court about the dynamics of abuse and control.

The role of a licensed professional counselor and domestic violence survivor in educating the court about the complexities of family violence.

Common misconceptions about domestic violence and the reality of the logistical barriers that prevent victims from leaving abusive situations.

The rural prosecutor's advocacy for the use of domestic-violence experts in court and the case of Dixon v. State as an example.

The formation of a nonprofit organization to operate a batterers intervention and prevention program in response to the need for systemic change.

The effectiveness of batterers intervention prevention programs in breaking the cycle of domestic violence, as supported by research.

The personal transformation of offenders participating in the program, learning about healthy relationships and changing their behaviors.

The expansion of services for victims at Texoma Alliance to Stop Abuse, including a high-risk team for domestic violence cases.

The importance of a coordinated approach involving prosecutors, police, and advocates to ensure victim safety and access to services.

The use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy to help victims process trauma from domestic violence.

The challenges faced by advocates in reaching out to high-risk victims and providing immediate support and resources.

The impact of the intervention program on participants' lives, with reflections on how it will influence their future relationships and parenting.

The broader goal of creating systemic community solutions to address domestic violence and the importance of starting these efforts now to prevent future abuse.

Transcripts

play00:04

-When I first became a prosecutor back in 2006,

play00:07

I didn't really know anything about family violence.

play00:10

And it took this case that happened in 2009

play00:13

in my jurisdiction to really bring it home to me

play00:16

how wrong I was and how misguided I was

play00:19

in my thoughts about family violence.

play00:25

♪♪

play00:33

♪♪

play00:38

♪♪

play00:43

Vernon is a small, rural community...

play00:48

...in a county with a population of probably 14,000

play00:52

on the plains of Texas.

play00:54

Kind of in the middle of nowhere.

play00:57

♪♪

play01:02

I thought Vernon was a great place to grow up.

play01:05

It's the kind of town where you just ride your bike

play01:07

all over the place.

play01:09

You just have to be back in time for dinner.

play01:13

I was born and raised here, went off to college

play01:16

and then went to law school,

play01:18

took a job in Washington, D.C., joined the Peace Corps

play01:22

with my wife in southern Ecuador.

play01:24

And we were going to re-up for an additional year

play01:28

and then Meg got pregnant, which we were very excited about.

play01:31

But that meant that we had to separate from the Peace Corps

play01:34

and move back to the United States.

play01:37

What's the danger line?

play01:39

-Overflowing.

play01:40

-Oh.

play01:43

Okay, well, they're gonna be covered

play01:44

by, like, an inch or two.

play01:45

We moved back here to Vernon,

play01:47

and I started practicing law with my father,

play01:49

thinking that would be a temporary solution

play01:52

and that we would find jobs elsewhere.

play01:55

Okay. Set a timer for 15 minutes.

play01:57

But it didn't work out that way, and thankfully.

play02:00

That is a pressure valve.

play02:02

It releases some of the pressure.

play02:04

[ Air hissing ]

play02:09

I was elected district attorney in 2006.

play02:13

I'm an elected Democrat.

play02:15

There just aren't a whole lot of us out here

play02:17

on the plains of Texas.

play02:19

Vernon's my hometown.

play02:22

Almost everybody here knows me, and I know almost everybody.

play02:28

I love being a rural prosecutor specifically

play02:31

because people have access to me and I have access to them.

play02:35

These are the people that my kids are playing sports with.

play02:38

It's their parents.

play02:40

It's people that I'm gonna see at the grocery store.

play02:42

So for me, I think it's really important

play02:45

that a prosecutor or any kind of leader

play02:47

be connected to the people that they represent.

play02:51

♪♪

play02:59

In 2009, a man named Tommy Castro

play03:02

moved to my jurisdiction

play03:04

with his girlfriend and two of her children.

play03:07

They moved here in March.

play03:09

And by July of 2009, 5-year-old Kati Earnest,

play03:14

his girlfriend's daughter, was dead.

play03:17

She had been beaten to death.

play03:20

And the unusual thing about it was that the mother,

play03:23

Kati's mother, gave a false confession

play03:25

to having committed the crime herself.

play03:27

And I kind of had the mind-set

play03:29

that, unfortunately, a lot of people have is

play03:32

if she's not gonna help us, what are we gonna do about it?

play03:35

Why are we gonna take this case seriously?

play03:38

[ Indistinct conversations ]

play03:42

-Hey. Go to the evidence room.

play03:49

-In the process of investigating that case

play03:52

and learning about Tommy Castro's history,

play03:55

I saw that for years across the country, not just in Texas,

play04:00

he had gotten by with brutally beating, sexually assaulting,

play04:05

imprisoning women over and over again.

play04:09

And I realized that pretty much for a couple of years

play04:12

as a prosecutor,

play04:14

I had done the same thing to other -- other abusers.

play04:18

I had given them a free pass when I had a tough case

play04:21

and the victim didn't want to cooperate.

play04:23

And at the time of this trial, I had a 5-year-old son.

play04:28

My son Oliver was 5 and Kati was 5.

play04:32

There was a photograph of her on her first day

play04:34

of pre-kindergarten.

play04:36

When you see that and you have a kid

play04:38

that's that age, it really brings it home.

play04:44

I had people say to me, "Look, you've got this confession,

play04:48

you need to prosecute her for this crime."

play04:50

And I said, "I don't believe the confession and I can't do that."

play04:55

He had so much control over her that he convinced her

play04:59

that she better give a confession

play05:01

to killing her own daughter because if she didn't,

play05:06

then he would either kill her other child or her.

play05:10

And she felt like she had no choice.

play05:12

He was just malignant.

play05:13

You could hear it in the way

play05:15

he talked to his parents on the phone from jail.

play05:18

He just attempted to manipulate them.

play05:32

-You have no time remaining for this call.

play05:33

Goodbye.

play05:35

-I told my investigator, Jeff,

play05:36

that we needed to find an expert on family violence,

play05:40

somebody that could educate us

play05:42

and someone that could testify at trial

play05:44

and educate a jury on how it is that this man had so much power

play05:49

and control over Kristina Earnest.

play05:51

And he reached out to First Step,

play05:53

which is the family violence program in Wichita Falls.

play06:00

And we learned that a licensed professional counselor

play06:02

who has been counseling victims of domestic violence

play06:05

for over 20 years

play06:07

and who herself is a survivor of domestic violence,

play06:10

and she educated me on how family violence works,

play06:13

and she testified at trial and educated the jury as well.

play06:20

-People will say, "Well, why doesn't she just leave?"

play06:22

There are all kinds of reasons why she doesn't leave.

play06:26

Most of the ones that I have found are very often logistical.

play06:30

Because there's so much control

play06:32

usually involved in domestic violence,

play06:34

she doesn't have means.

play06:36

So she doesn't have money.

play06:37

She doesn't have a support system.

play06:39

She's been isolated.

play06:42

So leaving is a much bigger deal than just walking out the door.

play06:57

-Emergency.

play07:00

Can you go plug that in?

play07:01

My computer went down in the middle

play07:04

of the start of my presentation.

play07:07

Thank you.

play07:19

-And welcome, Staley.

play07:21

Staley is back on.

play07:22

We'll be up and running here shortly.

play07:24

And I'm gonna turn it over to Staley now.

play07:26

-And I really apologize for being a little late.

play07:29

I'm here to add input from a rural perspective,

play07:32

and I can't think of any better way for me to start

play07:36

than being in a rural area

play07:37

and losing Internet at the entire courthouse

play07:39

and having to come to my house.

play07:41

And I know we have a lot of rural folks on this call,

play07:44

and you may never have used a domestic-violence expert before.

play07:50

I absolutely encourage you.

play07:51

I know it may seem daunting to find somebody

play07:54

that can be an expert witness for you,

play07:56

but it's absolutely not.

play07:58

A good case on this is Dixon v. State, which is out of Houston,

play08:01

where a police detective

play08:02

who had worked a lot of family-violence cases

play08:04

and had received a little extra training in that subject

play08:07

was permitted to testify about victim behavior.

play08:10

That's not ideal that you're gonna have

play08:12

your officer doing that,

play08:14

but it's a lot better than nothing

play08:15

when you have perhaps a victim who's gone back into a situation

play08:19

that you're needing to explain to the jury.

play08:22

Is there a local nonprofit,

play08:23

nearby university professor, counselor?

play08:26

Get them some additional training,

play08:27

which I know Carvana is involved in that kind of training,

play08:31

and you will have a ready-made expert

play08:34

that you can have on call in your jurisdiction.

play08:37

-Thank you, Staley. Alright. Thank you all so much.

play08:39

Have a wonderful rest of your week and weekends.

play08:42

-Oh, Lord, have mercy.

play08:44

-Did it work okay?

play08:45

-[ Laughing ]

play08:47

Well, I mean, when I got home and got connected.

play08:52

But right at 2:00. -Yeah.

play08:54

-Right when it was to start, literally, it went pfft.

play08:59

-Dead. -Dead.

play09:00

♪♪

play09:04

We tried some cases against defendants,

play09:06

got them convicted by juries,

play09:08

even where victims were not cooperative.

play09:10

And what I learned pretty quickly

play09:12

is that I can convict somebody of domestic violence.

play09:15

I could put them on probation. I can send them to prison.

play09:19

They can go to jail.

play09:21

As soon as they get out,

play09:23

they're gonna commit domestic violence again.

play09:24

It's just a cycle that keeps going and going.

play09:29

I realized we've got to do something

play09:31

to help break that cycle.

play09:32

And I had learned about batterers intervention

play09:35

and prevention programs.

play09:36

Historically, prosecutors haven't thought of themselves

play09:39

as being involved in the role of preventing crime.

play09:42

It's more addressing it, being more reactive.

play09:45

But I think especially when I saw how family violence works,

play09:52

and how difficult those cases are,

play09:54

I realized that we have to play a much more proactive role

play09:58

in preventing crime.

play10:00

So I worked with a couple of people

play10:01

that I go to church with and with a person here

play10:06

who is the executive director of the Boys and Girls Club,

play10:11

and we decided we were going to form

play10:13

this nonprofit that would operate

play10:15

a batterers intervention and prevention program.

play10:17

[ Telephone ringing ]

play10:19

-Texoma Alliance to Stop Abuse. This is Rachel.

play10:23

We are located in Vernon, Texas,

play10:24

but I believe Amarillo does have one.

play10:28

Okay, no problem. Talk to you soon.

play10:30

Alright. Bye-bye.

play10:35

What this is called

play10:37

is a batterers intervention prevention program,

play10:38

so when you're ordered to come to this class,

play10:41

we talk about abuse.

play10:44

We will talk a lot about healthy relationships,

play10:47

what those look like.

play10:49

You know, and definitely encouraging you

play10:51

to start to form healthy relationships.

play10:53

-I didn't agree, you know, to signing these papers

play10:55

because the only reason I agreed to doing this

play10:58

is because I feel that I will learn

play11:00

how not to be abused within the class.

play11:01

I don't feel like I'm the abuser in this situation,

play11:04

but, you know, it's not -- It's not my order.

play11:07

-Right. So on paper,

play11:08

your report and the court says you are, in fact, the abuser.

play11:13

-Mm-hmm. -Okay.

play11:14

So that is why we're here.

play11:16

You definitely have the choice to attend or not to attend,

play11:18

but you also will have to deal with those consequences.

play11:20

-Yeah, it would argue in my favor if I did it.

play11:23

-Okay, so if you'd sign there...

play11:25

-You know, she would tell me that I beat on her

play11:28

and I do all this, and that's not me.

play11:30

I know that in my heart, that it's not me, so...

play11:33

-I did review a little bit of the abuse behavior inventory.

play11:36

So I do appreciate your honesty

play11:39

and, you know, just putting on here

play11:41

which of these apply to you and how many times.

play11:44

I do see where there has been some physical violence

play11:48

with the kicking, punching, slapping, those types of things.

play11:53

I work with a lot of guys.

play11:54

At some point, I have heard the majority of them say

play11:57

what you're telling me right now,

play11:59

and what I can tell you is that if you allow yourself

play12:02

to be open to the information, then it can be very beneficial.

play12:05

-Yeah, I plan to take everything that I can,

play12:07

every aspect of this class that I can.

play12:10

I believe it'll help me grow as an individual.

play12:11

-Okay, good.

play12:13

There is definitely not any harm that can be done.

play12:15

I'll tell you that right now. -Okay.

play12:17

-It's something that I think will definitely be helpful.

play12:20

Okay? Nice meeting you.

play12:21

-It was nice meeting you, too.

play12:23

♪♪

play12:27

-The research shows

play12:29

the batterers intervention prevention program works.

play12:31

If we want to help victims in any way,

play12:34

this is the root of it.

play12:36

It's being with the offenders,

play12:39

learning, you know, about their experiences,

play12:42

and really helping them

play12:43

work through their beliefs, their intentions,

play12:45

their actions on some of these abusive behaviors that they do,

play12:50

really having those honest conversations with them

play12:53

that maybe nobody has ever had with them before.

play12:57

-Yeah. I clean it daily, whenever I use it.

play13:00

They actually just passed a law

play13:02

to where you can carry a knife this big.

play13:04

[ Chickens clucking ]

play13:10

Calm down.

play13:12

You're fine.

play13:14

Yeah? You're fine?

play13:17

I'm not gonna hurt you.

play13:19

Good. Good.

play13:23

In my previous relationship,

play13:25

every time we would get into an argument,

play13:27

she'd always storm off.

play13:28

So I would end up punching stuff.

play13:30

Like, I'd punch the fridge

play13:31

and then I would punch doors and then I'd punch walls.

play13:36

I was coming home from a long day at work.

play13:38

We were fighting because she didn't want to tell me

play13:41

what was going on with her that day,

play13:43

and we got into a physical altercation.

play13:46

She had gotten hurt,

play13:48

and the cops took me to jail for domestic violence.

play13:51

I thought I was only going for, like, a day or two

play13:53

because when my parents used to have domestic violence,

play13:55

they would take them for a day, let them cool down

play13:58

because they were drunk, and then I'd go pick them up.

play14:01

I thought that's what was gonna happen.

play14:03

But then I ended up staying two months.

play14:05

Fighting every other day.

play14:06

Like, I was just trying to sound cool in jail, you know,

play14:09

because I didn't want to get beat up.

play14:11

I didn't get beat up at all.

play14:12

Everybody that fought me lost.

play14:15

That's nice.

play14:16

That's where I got a lot of these.

play14:18

Got a tooth mark right there, a couple of teeth right there.

play14:21

But, yeah, got one right there.

play14:23

That was a big one.

play14:25

Cut my whole finger.

play14:27

But, yeah, I'm left-handed mostly.

play14:30

After two months of being there, they said I had probation,

play14:34

and I had to take these domestic-violence classes.

play14:36

-Does anybody have any questions or anything

play14:38

as far as Zoom is concerned?

play14:40

It's not really feasible for us

play14:43

to be able to meet in person at this point.

play14:45

Just trying to focus the way that we would

play14:48

if we were in a room.

play14:49

Okay, so last week, it was about respect.

play14:52

So the question was, "Be aware of the times

play14:55

it is easy for you to be respectful

play14:58

and the times it is not."

play14:59

What is your thinking in each of those situations?

play15:03

-First class, it was more or less,

play15:05

I was still angry at my ex.

play15:07

I was like, "Why do I got to be here?

play15:09

There's plenty of other people that have done worse."

play15:11

-So, Anthony, we're gonna start up top.

play15:14

You can go and unmute yourself.

play15:16

-I would say, really hard to, I guess, show respect

play15:19

when I'm getting disrespected.

play15:22

And it's real easy when somebody makes it easy to,

play15:27

you know, just talk and show their respect.

play15:31

So you start showing respect, I guess.

play15:33

-They say in order to get respect,

play15:36

you have to earn it.

play15:37

Well, no one should have to earn it.

play15:38

-It was about 3 sessions in.

play15:40

We were talking about property being destroyed

play15:44

and showing dominance that way.

play15:46

And once I realized that was me, it changed my way of thinking.

play15:50

And maybe I am an abuser.

play15:53

-Emotional abuse --

play15:55

It's more verbal.

play15:56

"I may not be hitting her, I may not be slapping her,

play15:59

but I am doing XYZ," which is just as bad.

play16:03

You make the choice to be violent,

play16:05

just as you make the choice not to be violent.

play16:08

And respect is the same thing. We choose to be respectful.

play16:12

-I was just like,

play16:13

"Maybe I don't want to be that angry guy anymore."

play16:16

Eventually, I didn't realize there was a change.

play16:18

It just happened.

play16:20

-So can anybody give me some examples

play16:21

of what emotional abuse may be?

play16:23

-It's changed everything I think about in a relationship.

play16:26

-Uh, cussing at her. Cussing at her could be one.

play16:30

-Mm-hmm. Definitely.

play16:31

-Telling her she's not doing a good job

play16:33

when she's at the house just to make her mad,

play16:36

just telling her that everything she's doing,

play16:39

you don't really appreciate it just to get on her bad side

play16:42

just because she made you on her bad side.

play16:44

-Okay. Absolutely.

play16:47

Okay, yeah.

play16:49

-There's a big change from when you start.

play16:51

It's like, "Oh, why do I need this class?"

play16:53

to now, "I need this class because it's helped me realize

play16:56

my wrongs and my rights."

play17:00

-While this was great and it was important

play17:02

that we address the abuse committed by men,

play17:05

I realize that victims here locally

play17:07

were not able to access the services that they needed.

play17:11

And so we started expanding gradually

play17:12

at Texoma Alliance to Stop Abuse

play17:15

into providing more services for victims.

play17:18

And in 2018, we received a grant

play17:20

for a domestic-violence high-risk team

play17:24

through the Texas Council on Family Violence.

play17:25

We have to have prosecutors working with police

play17:28

and advocates to set up a system

play17:30

where we are there pushing services on victims

play17:33

because we can't just say that it's all up to them

play17:38

when they're in this horrible moment of their life

play17:40

to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

play17:42

It's up to us to go to them and see how we can help them.

play17:48

-You know, we're very fortunate in this area

play17:51

that we have a district attorney

play17:53

and we have a law enforcement that take it very seriously.

play17:56

Our goals are always the same --

play17:58

hold offenders accountable and get services to victims

play18:02

so that they can have, you know, a better life.

play18:07

So I was considering that we would do some EMDR today.

play18:11

So I want you to be thinking about which trauma

play18:14

you want to target.

play18:17

-I see him choking me and...

play18:21

his eyes looked black.

play18:25

And he spits in my face...

play18:29

...and then stands up and starts stomping my stomach.

play18:34

-What does it say about you?

play18:35

How does it make you feel about yourself?

play18:37

-It makes me mad that I let myself be weak.

play18:41

-Okay. Let yourself just see the images.

play18:46

Let your brain go where it goes.

play18:48

Let your body feel what it feels.

play18:49

Don't judge it.

play18:50

I'd like you to bring up that image --

play18:52

that image of Michael on your chest choking you.

play18:56

And I want you to repeat that negative cognition.

play18:59

I want you to follow my fingers.

play19:05

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization

play19:10

and reprocessing.

play19:12

It uses left brain, right brain.

play19:14

It is similar to REM sleep.

play19:16

It basically tells the brain to process the trauma.

play19:20

Take a deep breath.

play19:22

[ Inhales deeply ]

play19:24

What do you see now?

play19:27

-I don't feel the pressure on my throat.

play19:30

-Notice that.

play19:38

Take a deep breath.

play19:39

-[ Breathes deeply ]

play19:42

-What are you noticing now?

play19:44

-That that's when I realized that he really didn't love me.

play19:49

♪♪

play19:56

♪♪

play20:04

-Take a deep breath.

play20:05

-[ Breathes deeply ]

play20:07

-Tell me what you're noticing.

play20:12

-That I don't have that fear of my parents finding me dead.

play20:17

♪♪

play20:21

-We don't want anybody to have to be afraid

play20:23

if they do decide to leave.

play20:25

One of the scariest times is when they leave.

play20:27

They don't know where the offender is,

play20:29

they don't know what he's thinking.

play20:32

Are they still in jail? Have they bonded out?

play20:35

We help them with those things, with safety plans

play20:37

and getting protective orders and help them to feel safe.

play20:39

♪♪

play20:43

[ Telephone rings ]

play20:45

-This is a strangulation case.

play20:46

They were separated,

play20:48

but emergency protective order was put in place.

play20:50

He violated that protective order.

play20:52

The police were called back over to his house

play20:54

and there was another allegation on her part of strangulation.

play20:58

So she's definitely a high-risk victim,

play21:01

and we need to get with her as soon as we can.

play21:03

-We'll let you know. -Thank you.

play21:05

-Mm-hmm.

play21:07

So will you be the one to knock on the door and everything?

play21:11

-Yeah, I'll go knock on the door.

play21:12

I want to make sure that she's getting accurate information

play21:18

about what is happening with this case

play21:20

and what our roles are,

play21:24

and that we're there to protect her in any way that we can.

play21:29

-Your destination will be on the right.

play21:31

-Looks like we found it.

play21:38

Hey, there, how are you?

play21:40

Pleasure to meet you.

play21:42

We just wanted to reach out to you,

play21:44

and I'm sorry it hadn't been before now.

play21:46

Rachel is an advocate,

play21:48

and she is strictly here for you.

play21:51

-My sole purpose is to be an advocate for you

play21:55

and to kind of let you know a little bit

play21:57

about my knowledge of family violence and abuse

play22:00

and kind of what I see from my perspective.

play22:03

-Let me get a card for you,

play22:05

and I'll let you talk to Rachel.

play22:07

I'll be right out here.

play22:11

-I did read the first police report, and so, you know,

play22:14

I did see that you were having trouble breathing.

play22:16

And did you vomit the first time?

play22:18

-Yeah. -Okay.

play22:19

The fact that he has strangled you tells me

play22:23

that you are at high risk of fatality.

play22:25

-Hello.

play22:27

Yeah, she -- she doesn't deny, you know,

play22:30

anything that happened.

play22:32

She's -- she's trying to self blame

play22:33

and say that, you know, this was her fault.

play22:36

And I said,

play22:37

"Well, what did he say to you immediately after this?"

play22:39

"Well, he said that, 'I could have [bleep] killed you.'"

play22:41

-I am very scared for you.

play22:44

You mentioned earlier about intent

play22:46

and not thinking he had one.

play22:48

In both incidents, you were trying to leave.

play22:51

-Uh-huh. -Okay?

play22:53

When a victim is leaving a situation,

play22:57

that is when it is most dangerous.

play22:59

And that also tells me that it was calculated.

play23:03

-Yeah. Well, I'm pretty sure she said

play23:05

that her friend was gonna bring her.

play23:07

Alright. See you.

play23:09

-You absolutely did not deserve that.

play23:11

We do offer free counseling.

play23:13

What I want to do is let you know about services

play23:16

to hopefully help ensure your ongoing safety.

play23:19

And again, you have my number,

play23:21

so look forward to talking with you in the future.

play23:22

Bye-bye.

play23:23

Bye, little cutie pie.

play23:25

-Say bye-bye. -Bye.

play23:28

-And she wants to be the tough, in-control person.

play23:34

-And there's just no way in a conversation

play23:36

to work through all that. -Yeah, I know.

play23:38

-You know, so you kind of have to meet them where they're at.

play23:41

And also, I don't know how much trust is there.

play23:44

You know, just because of our...response, you know,

play23:49

in her eyes, it's kind of late. -Yeah.

play23:51

-And that's kind of what she told me at the end

play23:54

is this would have been helpful the first incident,

play23:57

and maybe there wouldn't have been a second one,

play23:59

so it kind of makes me feel a little -- a little bit

play24:02

as if I failed her in a sense, you know?

play24:10

♪♪

play24:16

-Never miss.

play24:17

♪♪

play24:26

♪♪

play24:31

♪♪

play24:37

Put those in the closet so we have more space.

play24:42

Why are you painting the closet?

play24:45

Is it for...a baby?

play24:49

-No. -It's not for a baby?

play24:52

-No. -It's not for a baby.

play24:54

-The closet's not for the baby.

play24:56

The closet's for the adults.

play24:59

And like end credits, got to go real slow with it.

play25:03

These classes affect my life now more than ever

play25:06

because they're gonna teach me how to teach my children.

play25:11

I'm pretty sure they'll be better people because of it.

play25:14

-[ Laughing ]

play25:16

♪♪

play25:22

-I feel like I could be happy again

play25:23

because my last relationship ended badly

play25:25

and I feel like I can finally move on

play25:28

and be a better person than I was before.

play25:33

-Morning, buddy. How are you doing, huh?

play25:35

-Good. -Did you have a good sleep?

play25:38

We hope to see those kids

play25:39

that are growing up in a home now

play25:42

where their father's been put into batters intervention,

play25:44

and he's changed and he's not abusing their mother.

play25:47

And those kids are gonna realize abuse is not normal.

play25:53

And when they get older, they're not gonna be abusive.

play25:58

It's a lot of work to create systems in your community

play26:01

that can address the problem more systemically.

play26:05

The payoff is down the line,

play26:07

but it's absolutely critical that we start now.

play26:12

Because every day that we delay is going to lead

play26:15

to more domestic violence in the future.

play26:17

♪♪

play26:25

♪♪

play26:34

♪♪

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Domestic ViolenceProsecutor's StoryFamily AbuseCommunity OutreachLegal AdvocacyRural AmericaPrevention ProgramsVictim SupportCounseling ServicesSocial Change
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