Why it's important to make time for yourself - Om Swami [English]
Summary
TLDRThe video explores the balance between personal fulfillment and obligations to family and society. It emphasizes the importance of taking time for oneself and not being consumed by duties that have outlived their relevance. Using examples like Jeff Bezos, it encourages viewers to consider their future regrets and to live life fully. The speaker also touches on meditation practices, advising on how to progress and avoid attachment to specific experiences, suggesting alternating methods and knowing when to move on.
Takeaways
- 🤔 Balancing personal aspirations with family and societal duties is subjective and varies from person to person.
- 👨👧 Parents are not obligated to continue supporting their adult children beyond a certain point, such as when they are past their education years.
- 💡 It's important to set boundaries and communicate one's needs for personal time and space within relationships.
- 🚫 Avoid neglecting oneself under the weight of obligations, as it can lead to loneliness and irrelevance in the lives of those around you.
- 💪 Having the courage to stand up for oneself and express personal needs is crucial for happiness and self-fulfillment.
- 💼 Jeff Bezos' story illustrates the importance of taking risks and prioritizing one's dreams over immediate financial security.
- 🧘♂️ Meditation and personal growth require a balance between consistency in practice and the willingness to embrace new challenges.
- 🔄 The concept of non-attachment is essential in meditation, as experiences are transient and the mind is ever-changing.
- 🌱 Progress in meditation can be achieved by varying the types of practice, increasing session durations, or taking breaks to rejuvenate.
- 🛑 Recognizing when it's time to move on in one's practice is indicated by a sense of stagnation or the desire for a new challenge.
- 💭 The script emphasizes the importance of living a life without regrets, taking bold steps, and embracing the fullness of life's experiences.
Q & A
What is the speaker's view on balancing personal desires with family and societal obligations?
-The speaker suggests that while obligations to family and society are important, there comes a time when they should not hinder personal growth and happiness. It's crucial to find a balance and not let obligations completely overshadow one's own needs and desires.
How does the speaker define the 'use by date' of obligations towards family members?
-The speaker uses the term 'use by date' to imply that there is a limit to how long one should be responsible for others, especially when they are capable of taking care of themselves, such as children who are past their early years and are educated.
What advice does the speaker give for maintaining one's individuality within a relationship?
-The speaker advises that even within a relationship where partners need each other, it's important to have personal time for activities that bring joy and fulfillment, such as meditation or visiting an ashram.
What is the significance of being clear about one's needs in the speaker's perspective?
-According to the speaker, clarity about one's needs is essential for setting boundaries and communicating effectively with loved ones. It allows for the establishment of personal time without guilt or conflict.
What does the speaker suggest could happen if one neglects their own needs for the sake of obligations?
-The speaker warns that neglecting oneself in favor of obligations can lead to a state of loneliness and irrelevance, as others may only remember the person when they need something, not when they are content.
How does the speaker relate the story of Jeff Bezos to the topic of pursuing one's path?
-The speaker uses Jeff Bezos' story as an example of courage and foresight. Bezos quit his job and放弃了 his bonus to pursue his dream, which eventually led to the creation of Amazon. This illustrates the importance of taking risks and prioritizing one's own path.
What decision-making strategy does the speaker attribute to Jeff Bezos?
-The speaker mentions that Bezos uses a strategy of imagining himself at the end of his life and considering what he would regret not having done. This perspective helps in making decisions that align with one's true desires and goals.
What is the speaker's view on the fear of failure and its impact on life choices?
-The speaker believes that the fear of failure can prevent people from taking significant steps in life. They encourage considering what one would regret at the end of life, which can motivate taking risks and trying new things.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with the fear of failure?
-The speaker suggests asking oneself about their greatest regrets and considering what they would regret not having done. This reflection can help put things in perspective and encourage taking necessary actions.
How does the speaker address the topic of attachment to meditation experiences?
-The speaker advises not to be attached to specific meditation experiences, as consciousness is ever-changing. They recommend focusing on the practice itself and enjoying experiences when they occur without expecting them to be repeated.
What strategies does the speaker recommend for progressing in meditation?
-The speaker suggests alternating between different kinds of meditation, increasing the duration of sessions, and occasionally taking breaks to rejuvenate the mind. They also mention that it's time to move on when one feels a plateau has been reached.
How does the speaker describe the nature of consciousness in relation to meditation?
-The speaker compares consciousness to a constantly flowing river, emphasizing that it is ever-changing and not static. This understanding helps in not being attached to specific meditation experiences.
Outlines
🤔 Balancing Personal Desires and Family Obligations
This paragraph discusses the delicate balance between fulfilling one's duties to family and society, and pursuing personal aspirations. It emphasizes that while obligations are important, there comes a time when they should be reconsidered, especially when they hinder personal growth. The speaker uses the example of parents not being obligated to take care of their adult children's children. The importance of self-care and setting boundaries is highlighted, suggesting that clarity about one's needs is crucial for a healthy life. The paragraph also touches on the courage required to stand up for oneself and the potential loneliness that can result from neglecting one's needs. It concludes with an example of Jeff Bezos, illustrating how taking risks can lead to significant achievements.
🔮 Reflecting on Life's Choices and Regrets
The second paragraph delves into the concept of making life decisions without regrets. It suggests imagining oneself at the end of life to determine what one would have wanted to do differently. The speaker uses Jeff Bezos' story as an example of someone who made a bold decision without guarantees of success. The paragraph encourages individuals to live without fear of failure, to take risks, and to make decisions that align with their true desires. It also advises against living in constant fear and to instead live fully and mindfully, taking charge of one's life and making the most of the present moment.
🧘♂️ Navigating Meditation and Personal Growth
The final paragraph focuses on the practice of meditation and the importance of not becoming attached to specific experiences or states of consciousness. It advises on how to progress in meditation by alternating between different types, increasing the duration of sessions, or taking breaks to rejuvenate the mind. The speaker emphasizes the ever-changing nature of consciousness, likening it to a flowing river, and suggests that attachment to past experiences can lead to agitation. The paragraph concludes with guidance on knowing when it's time to move on to the next level in one's practice, suggesting that plateaus and the desire for further growth are signals to seek new challenges.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Duty
💡Pursue
💡Obligations
💡Meditation
💡Attachment
💡Consciousness
💡Self-Care
💡Courage
💡Regret
💡Bliss
💡Fear of Failure
Highlights
Duty towards family and society varies based on individual circumstances.
Obligations can have an expiration date, especially when others become self-sufficient.
People may use obligations as a means to avoid taking responsibility for their own lives.
In a marriage, mutual need does not negate the need for personal space and time.
Clarity on personal needs is essential for setting boundaries and maintaining balance.
Loved ones should support personal time for self-care and growth.
Neglecting oneself due to duty can lead to loneliness and irrelevance.
Courage is required to stand up for personal needs and happiness.
Jeff Bezos' story illustrates the importance of taking risks for personal fulfillment.
Imagining oneself at the end of life can provide clarity on life decisions and regrets.
Fear of failure can prevent people from taking significant life steps.
Asking about one's greatest regret can be a positive tool for life perspective.
Taking charge of one's life and living fully is encouraged over living in fear.
Meditation can lead to various states of consciousness, but attachment to them should be avoided.
Progress in meditation can be made by alternating between different techniques.
Increasing the duration of meditation sessions or taking breaks can enhance practice.
A plateau in meditation indicates it may be time to seek a new level of challenge.
Consciousness is ever-flowing, and attachment to specific experiences can cause agitation.
Enjoying meditation experiences without attachment allows for natural progression.
Transcripts
[Music]
the first question was
how to
no how much is your
duty towards your family or the society
and if you wish to pursue your own path
or you are doing something for yourself
how much time
is reasonable how do you differentiate
between that
i guess the answer is different for
different people
but there comes a time
when your obligations
get past their use by date
now those who are needy
will always remind you of your
obligations
if you have children who are let's say
educated now
past 20 25 you are not obligated to
clean their children's nappies or change
their
nappies actually so it's a it's not a
nice visual don't go after that
so
somewhere when people don't take
responsibility for their own
actions and lives they will cry
the this thing but obligation but you
were supposed to do this you are
supposed to do that
now in a husband and wife relationship
it happens that they both need each
other
but that does not mean that you can't go
away
and meditate or you can't do what gives
you joy
or you can't come to the ashram for
example
somewhere if you are clear about what
you want
problem is when you are not clear but if
you are clear
then you have to just sit down and say
to your people
i need an hour to myself every day or i
need two hours to myself
every day or i need 10 hours to myself
every day
whatever that figure is only you know
or i need to be away for two days
a weekend every month or i need this
time to myself
every quarter if you are clear
sit down and tell them and talk to them
if they love you really they will say
look
sure we can we can adjust you can be
away for four or five days or whatever
be the case if under the burden of duty
or obligation you are going to keep
neglecting
yourself one day
you will end up in a very bad state
you'll end up very lonely because you
kept on doing things for your family and
they have moved on
and when they move on they don't need
you
it's a sad truth they only need you
when they need you
when they are happy in their own space
they would never think of you
they would call you when they need you
or they would call you because you've
been pestering them you don't call
anymore you don't call anymore
and this look mom or dad whatever i'm
calling you now are you happy everything
is great can i put the phone down
so you must have the courage to stand up
for yourself
you must have the courage to
say look this is what i need in my life
to be happy
you know jeff bezos he um as you know he
is
the owner of amazon the founder and for
the second richest
man and recently he was the richest then
he went back to second richest
anyway that's not the point the point is
he quit his job in the middle of the
year
he was a wall street uh professional a
banker i think
and his bonus would be paid towards the
end of the year
by quitting his job in the middle of the
year he let go of that bonus
and he started a company called amazon
that just sold
books now later
somebody asked him how did you gather
the courage
to do this
how you quit midway you
jumped on the bandwagon called the
internet and there was no guarantee
there were no guarantees of anything he
said listen
i sat down one day and this is how i
take decisions in life he said
i imagine i am 80 years old
and i am about to die
he said i imagined myself in an 80 year
old
body and i asked myself
what would i be saying to to me when i
would be 80
what is better of the two i wish i had
done this
i wish i had quit my job at that time
and built
this company i wish i had lived my life
a certain way
i wish i had done those things that i
wanted to do
or would i be saying to myself that i'm
so glad i slogged
eight hours a day or ten hours a day um
in a bank he said so
when you imagine what you would
not want to regret when it's your time
to leave this planet
your whole way of looking at life will
change
and it's so true if you imagine yourself
that okay
i won't be waking up the next moment
this is my last moment
have i done all i wanted to do with my
life
or under the guise of obligations and
duties and attachments
and other things or just fear
people the fear of failure hinders
people
they don't make some of the biggest
steps they could in their life because
they are afraid of failing
did i live fully or did i just
live in fear when i'm 80 and i'm about
to die
am i going to think i wish i'd done this
or will i be
telling myself i'm so glad i tried it
even if i failed
at least i tried at least i saw what
this was
about and that's one good way of making
knowing what you should do you find you
ask yourself
what is your greatest regret it sounds
negative but the idea is very positive
behind it
you ask yourself what is my greatest
regret or what would be my greatest
regret one day when i would be
85 or 90 or whenever it's my last moment
going to come that will
help you put things in perspective and
you will find yourself taking
very different decisions you will find
yourself
doing what you should be doing
because look at this world it prays to
krishna not his wives who did all the
work
so why don't you become the krishna
yourself as opposed to being
a wife take on that role
take charge of your life take control
live the way you want to
live don't live like there is no
tomorrow
because it is going to come and if you
don't take care of today tomorrow is
going to be much worse
but live sensibly
live mindfully but at least live
fully it's a beautiful life
you have a shot at it at it don't just
lose it that's my taste so kay's
question is about
meditation she's experiencing
a certain state or variation of some
states
while indeed concentration
and your question is a how not to get
attached to these
how to progress how to get the most yes
how to get the most out of these and how
not to get attached
and second is how to progress and third
is how to know
it's time to move on
there is a simple principle that applies
to
meditation and many other things
now when you want
to perfect something
the best way is to
keep making improvements and keep
doing it when you keep doing something
listening to the feedback your mind is
giving making adjustments as you go
along
you will eventually become a master
in that particular thing whatever that
field may be
but when you want to get to the next
level you can't just keep on doing the
same
thing somewhere you have to
i don't want to say the word tighten the
nose but turn up the heat
somewhere you have to take your mind and
body to the next
level of challenge
at each step of the challenge you will
discover another
pearl now how to make the most
out of your current experience
is by either building
your practice or by just
rejoicing in those experiences because
they will
take a backseat on their own
if i enter into a meditation or any
particular
activity thinking i would
like to experience the same
state or bliss again
it's a hard road then often it doesn't
come and in fact it can lead to
agitation oh yesterday it was so
beautiful
why can't i feel the same way today
because one thing we don't realize is
consciousness
is ever flowing it's like river it's
been constantly compared with the river
that even the river is flowing from the
same place it's never the same
a river that's flown now it's the
different water flowing there
so consciousness is ever flowing in our
store of
mind in that mega store there are
millions and millions and millions of
thoughts and billions of thoughts hiding
there
one thought can trigger anything even a
subconscious thought
it may never rise to the surface of
one's
consciousness even so the first and most
important thing is
to not be attached to an experience when
it happens
enjoy it when it doesn't stay
focused on the practice and the way to
progress in meditation
is either you alternate between
different kinds of meditation
from breath you could go to sound
you could go to form you could go to
formless you could get into
contemplative meditation
one good way is to alternate between
different kinds of meditation
and to build your practice you increase
the duration
of your meditation or the length of each
session and sometimes you take a
complete break from your meditation
that rejuvenates the mind and then
you're able to do it
better the next time third when do you
know
it's time to move on when these
questions
arise in your mind it's time to move on
because you've hit a plateau and now
your brain
or your mind or your consciousness is
giving you the signal
look i'm done what's next and how do i
either what's next or how do i now get
to the
higher level even where i can be totally
immersed
in a constant or a near constant
state of bliss that's my answer
[Music]
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